What Now?
by Born2Be
Summary: Sometimes life hits you like a train. Other times you realize maybe you were driving the train that hit you. The question is what do you do once the train makes impact? Quinn never thought this would be something that was in her life. But here it was. What now? Sequel to Surviving. AU Quinntana friendship. Shelby/Santana/Rachel family unit
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! So this is a sequel to my other story, Surviving. If you haven't read Surviving you might be a little confused here and there with the characters history and their relationships with each other. I urge you to read it first if you like my writing style. For those of you who have read Surviving: Hello again! I am sorry this has taken me so long to get up here, but it has been touch and go for a while. I hope you enjoy this first chapter, I will love and appreciate your thoughts so please let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I rated this M just in case and for future chapters. Better safe than sorry. I don't own Glee or any character from the show. If I did I wouldn't be up to my eyeballs in student loan and credit card debt. Enjoy!**

Quinn stared at the closed toilet lid as she sat down in front of it. She stared at the lid because she couldn't stare at the three tests that sat on top of it any longer. Her eyes weren't watering, surprisingly. She didn't have any urge to cry, or scream or curse...all she could do was sit there and stare. Her eyes felt dry but she couldn't blink. What had she done?

Coming into this she had a feeling. She had a feeling, and the feeling was proven to be right. Three times. The tests seemed to stare back at her. The plus signs weren't fading, they were thick and dark, screaming at her their answer in pink.

Quinn didn't know how long she had been staring at the toilet lid, but her butt was becoming numb from sitting on the hard tile floor for so long. She couldn't think about what this meant. These tests didn't change her life, because she had already changed her life by listening to the dumb asshole who wouldn't even call himself her boyfriend. These tests were simply just proof that she really screwed up. Again.

Quinn closed her eyes and held them closed as she breathed deeply. The kid flunked two grades. Clearly he wasn't the smartest, yet for some reason she had listened to his "logic" instead of following her own smarts. Obviously she wasn't as smart as her GPA said she was.

Why can't she cry? Shouldn't she be crying? She sighed as her eyes remained squeezed shut. She knew what the tests were going to say, long before she peed on them. She had been feeling off. She felt different, it was hard to explain. She just knew. Instinct? Was that possible? Then the past week she has been getting really nauseous around lunch time every day. Never throwing up, but always feeling on the urge of purging. Surely it was too early for that though. That was probably all in her head. She shook her head. She should be crying, or screaming or...something. She didn't want this. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to do this to Mama Lopez or her pseudo-family. Shit. She hadn't thought about what this means for them now too.

Mama Lopez took her in. She saved her from the hell she used to call home. She saved her from her dad. And this is how she repays her? By getting knocked up at sixteen? Not even 6 months after moving in? Shit. Shit. Shit. Still, no tears surfaced on her eyes.

What was wrong with her? Her life was ruined. She didn't want this in any way, shape or form. There was absolutely NO part of her that was happy about this, whatsoever. Yet, she couldn't do anything but sit here on the bathroom floor with her dry eyes closed and the three positive pregnancy tests laying inches in front of her.

"Quinn?" Rachel's voice sounded through the door.

Quinn's eyes flew open. She snapped her head in the direction of the closed bathroom door. She released a breath when she saw that she did in fact lock the door. Her relief was short lived when Rachel knocked again.

"Quinn? Are you okay? You've been in there for like...ever. I need to go to the bathroom." Her voice sounded like she had her ear pressed up against the door, and knowing Rachel...Quinn knew that was exactly what the eight year old was doing.

Quinn looked at the tests in front of her as her heart started beating faster. She stood up quickly, "Yea, boo...I'm fine...I'm just..." Quinn reached for the tests and quickly but quietly put them all back in the boxes they came in. "Can you use Sanny's bathroom?" It was worth a shot.

"San is taking a nap...I don't want to wake her up...you know how she gets." Rachel's voice was to the point.

Quinn sighed. Shit. She shook her head, waking up her best friend since...the attacks... had always been one of her least favorite things. It had been months later, and Santana really had made so much progress with therapy, but being woken up from sleep was still something she wasn't able to control. Whether it be her mom, little sister or her best friend, when anyone tried to wake San she would sit up in pure panic gasping for breath. It would instantly throw her into a flashback and she would break out in an instant sweat. Quinn sighed. None of them liked doing that to her, obviously...so when Santana was sleeping the rule of thumb became: let her wake up on her own.

Quinn took a breath as she put the boxes quietly into the book bag she smuggled them in by, "Okay, I'm almost done. Give me a minute..." Quinn quietly zipped up her backpack and slipped it over her shoulder. She looked over the room once more to make sure she hadn't left any sign of what she was doing in there. She walked to the mirror and looked at herself. Quinn realized her face looked full of anxiety and worry, she rubbed her hands over her face and plastered on a small smile.

Once she was satisfied with her mask she swung the door open, causing the small eight year old to stumble in. Quinn smiled at herself, her prediction was right. Rachel had been leaning against the door.

Rachel looked up at Quinn with a questioning gaze, "Why were you in here so long? What were you doing?" She paused and noticed Quinn's back pack for the first time, "Why do you have that in the bathroom?" She raised her eyebrows suspiciously at the blonde.

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Quinn replied playfully as she ruffled the smaller girl's hair.

Rachel swatted at Quinn's hand, "I'm inquisitive."

Quinn smiled at her, Rachel and her big vocabulary. Not every eight year old knows that word, let alone can pronounce it and use it correctly. Quinn grabbed the strap of her backpack again, "We know." She smiled at Rachel.

Rachel looked up at her silently with her hands across her chest, waiting for an answer to her original strand of questions.

Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes, "I was reading okay?"

"A book?" Rachel's face scrunched up.

Quinn couldn't help but roll her eyes again as she rested her hand on her hip, "No a dog, Rachel." She sighed, "Of course a book."

"You don't read." Rachel said bluntly.

"I do too."

"Since when?" Rachel asked.

Quinn sighed, "I don't know..." She looked at the eight year old and shrugged her shoulders, "Sometimes I like to read." Why couldn't Rachel just accept her excuse and let her be.

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows even more. She couldn't ever remember Quinn reading a book. Her and her sister hated reading. She had had multiple conversations about it with them. Right? She was searching her memory. She nodded her head. She was right. Even if Quinn was reading...something was off here. She looked at the bathroom then looked back at Quinn, "Well why would you read in the bathroom?"

Quinn sighed. She really just wanted to get out of here. She didn't want to do this now. "Because I can...I don't know. It's quiet in there." Pulling one over on Rachel was proving hard to do. She started to walk away from the bathroom that they shared and headed for her bedroom, clenching her backpack's shoulder strap firmly in her hand.

"Your room is quiet too." Rachel shouted after her. It was a statement that was also a question.

Quinn waved over her shoulder, "I thought you had to go to the bathroom."

Rachel frowned, "I do."

Quinn looked at Rachel from her doorway to her bedroom, "It sure doesn't look like it." She smiled at the young girl before walking into her room, leaving a silent Rachel alone in the hallway. Once she heard the bathroom door close, Quinn was able to release the breath she had been holding. That was a close call. She had to get rid of these tests.

* * *

Quinn knocked on the door for the third time. She wrapped her arms tightly around her chest as she shifted her weight between her feet impatiently. She could hear people inside laughing and the noise of video games flooding through the door. She knew that he was home; she just didn't know why he wouldn't answer the damn door. She was quickly growing past impatient straight to frustrated. She got the courage up enough to make the drive here and had even come up with some great excuse that Mama Lopez seemed to eat up. The older woman who had given her a home thought that Quinn was currently meeting up with her lab partner to discuss ideas for their final science project. Mama Lopez had no idea in reality that Quinn was visiting her… fuck buddy? Quinn felt tears instantly sting her eyes as she continued to stand face to face with the wooden door. That is all she was to him, so was that all he was to her? She had felt pathetic on more than one occasion when trying to get the boy to commit. He gave every excuse in the book to not be in a relationship, making her feel ridiculous for even asking in the first place. She honestly had no idea why she had sex with him so frequently, nor did she know why she always answered his late night texts for booty calls.

A series of hoots and howls from inside the house she stood out front of broke Quinn out of her thoughts. She felt anger consume her body instantly. She needed to talk to him. Why wasn't he answering?

She let out an audible frustrated groan. "You are such an ASSHOLE!" She banged on the door with each syllable of the last word with both of her fists.

The door suddenly opened before she could bang on it again. Quinn nearly fell inside. She took a step backwards and looked up at the tall awkward figure standing in front of her. He was wearing a faded v-neck t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. His brown hair was unkempt and he had a five o'clock shadow covering his jaw line. His face scrunched into a frown. "What are you doing here?" He asked surprised by Quinn's unannounced visit.

Quinn raised her eyebrows at the kid. "I tried calling you, but you wouldn't answer." She said quickly.

He ran his hand through his hair as his friend's cheered from inside the house again. He looked over his shoulder then back at Quinn. Finn shrugged his shoulders. "Yea, my phone is up in my room or somethin'."

It was obvious to Quinn that Finn was anxious to get back inside to whatever him and his friends were previously doing. The restless teen was annoying her. She shook her head angrily. "I've been knocking for a while." She said sharply as she looked up at his face. Her emotions seemed to be all over the place the last couple weeks. She felt her chest tighten. She now knew why that was.

Finn shrugged as he leaned against the door frame. He was standing in between the partly open door and the frame. He stood in the way so Quinn couldn't see in, and his friend's couldn't see out. "Well me and the guys are in the middle of a Mario Kart tournament."

Quinn felt her anger begin to boil. She shook her head; his excuse for not answering the door at a reasonable time was ridiculous. She should have expected him to be doing something completely preposterous. He was a jock. He was friends with Puck. Together they were morons. She choked her anger down, trying her best to just push it aside. She had more important things she had to discuss with him. Unfortunately. "Whatever… I…..Can I come in?"

She watched as Finn looked hesitantly over his shoulder back inside his house where chanting could be heard. He smiles as he looks at his friends but his smile instantly fades as soon as he looks back at the blonde standing just outside his threshold. The tall teen took a step forward exiting the house and pulled the door closed behind him, cutting out most of the noise his friends were making. He rubbed his chin, "Uh now isn't really a good time for you to come in. I mean…" he shrugged his shoulders before continuing, "all the guys are here."

"Oh…" Quinn replied quietly. Shame instantly felt as though it slapped Quinn in the face. How pathetic was she to put up with this bafoon? She was… with his… She shook her head unable to even think the words that floated around in her head.

Finn waved his hand in Quinn's face quickly. "But wait," he started. "Before you get all pissy or whatever… I have an idea." He looked down at Quinn with a cocky grin as he took a step closer to her. He reached an arm around her lower back, drawing her in closer to him. Their fronts now pressed up against each other as his smile grew. "Why don't we go out to your car," he nodded his head in the direction of her parked car and continued, "and we can have some fun. It'll have to be quick…but I promise it'll be fun. I'm not scheduled to play for a few more turns."

Quinn continued to look up into his eyes. She couldn't believe the audacity of this kid. She paused. Actually she could. This behavior was normal, unfortunately. It said a lot about her for sticking around for so long. How pathetic was she?

She pushed away from his chest and took a step backwards. Only to be met by him taking a step forward. Finn reached behind her back again and leaned his head down, capturing Quinn's unsuspecting lips in his own.

Quinn let the kiss happen for a split second, even kissing him back before she remembered why she was there in the first place. She shook her head, freeing her lips from his. "Finn," she started to protest quietly but in response he pulled her tightly against his front again. Quinn could already feel his erection through his basketball shorts pushing up against her pants. He began planting kisses down her jaw line slowly. "Finn…" she tried again. Her voice was weak as a result from Finn beginning to run his lips up and down the tender spot on her neck. Quinn's knees started to quake as he kissed at her weak spot more intensely. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She hated that this kid can always somehow manage to do this to her. He always knows exactly what to do to get her into his bed or hers….or car…or abandoned building…or janitor's closet. The list went on and on. Quinn was disgusted with herself. "Please stop." She tried again without any force behind her words. In response Finn moved his mouth to her earlobe causing her to close her eyes and lose herself yet again. "Stop," she barely was able to manage to get the word past her lips.

Finn started laughing playfully into her ear as he bit her earlobe playfully and tugged at it with his teeth, sending waves through her body. He rolled his hips, pressing his erection against her again. He breathed into her ear as he held her close, "Are we trying something new?" Quinn furrowed her eyebrows but couldn't find the strength in her to do anything else as he ran his tongue along her neck before speaking again. "Are we roleplaying now?" He smiled into her ear as he grabbed a handful of her ass in his big palm. "Am I gonna have to take advantage of you while you beg for me to stop-"

Finn's words forced Quinn to immediately pull herself together. Before he could even finish his statement Quinn pushed harshly against his chest to get free from his grasp. He stumbled backwards from the hard shove as he tried to regain his footing. "Shut the fuck up right now." She hissed at the tall boy.

Quinn closed her eyes for a split second and all she could see was the image of her best friend the night that she had found her in her bathroom: beaten, bruised and bleeding. Santana's eye was a dark shade of purple and was swollen almost shut. Her lip was busted and bleeding, as was the small knick on her neck. Her best friend could barely stand up right because of all the pain that had consumed her that night. Quinn remembered the look Santana's eyes had held right after she had been brutally raped by that awful monster, Guillermo Chavez. His name will never be forgotten. She will hate that man until he takes his last breath from his prison cell, and then even after. As quickly as her eyes shut they reopened with a fire burning bright behind them. She looked up at Finn who was looking at her with a scrunched up angry face.

"What the hell was that for?" He snapped as he rubbed his chest where Quinn had pushed him.

Quinn walked up to him and shoved him again angrily. "Don't you ever joke about that to me ever again. Ever." She felt her breathing rate increasing along with her heart.

Finn put his hands up in a mock defeat. "Jeez cool your jets…what got your panties in a wad? I was only kidding." He shook his head as he mumbled to himself, "you are acting like a crazy bitch."

His mumble wasn't quite enough. Quinn heard it loud and clear. The already lit fire within her intensified as she looked at the asshole standing before her. He had no respect for women. He had no respect for her. And all this time she always opened her window for him to sneak through whenever he asked her to. She always answered his booty calls or texts, and for what? A dick who joked about rape. An asshole who wouldn't even commit. A jerk who wouldn't even talk to her in front of his friends when they passed each other in the school hallways. She was good enough to fuck in the closets but wasn't good enough to say hello. She shook her head angrily. The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could even prepare her ears to hear them.

"Finn, I'm pregnant."

Quinn froze as the words left her lips. She watched Finn carefully. His face had instantly drained of color as soon as the words reached his ears. He stood before her with a blank dumb gaze on his face. Suddenly, he started laughing. The noise assaulted Quinn's ear drums. It made her take a step away from him subconsciously. Her face remained completely serious as she watched the tall oaf's smile finally fade from his face as he took in her seriousness. "What?" He asked once the smile was completely gone.

All Quinn could do was nod her head. She was so stunned in this moment. She hadn't said the words out loud yet. She didn't think it was going to be possible to even do. On her drive over here she had tried, multiple times to say the phrase out loud, but it was like her tongue would stop working each time. Even as she knocked on this stupid jerk's door she didn't have a game plan as to how to tell him the news. She didn't know at all. She sure as hell wasn't planning on blurting it out like that. Hearing the phrase was worse than thinking it.

Finn let out another brief spurt of laughter. Quinn felt her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at him. He forced the smile off of his face as he looked at her. "Shut up, you are probably just late." He waved his hand in front of him like it was no big deal. Like he had just solved the problem. He was acting like he knew her own body better than she did.

Quinn frowned at his stupid solution. "I am late." She stated simply back. "That is why I took the test."

Finn's face fell again. "What are you saying?"

"I…I'm…" Quinn sighed. This was what she had expected. She couldn't make her mouth work again. It is like her tongue literally wouldn't push the words from her lips. Her body was rejecting the phrase completely. She shook her head.

Finn took in Quinn's body language. He looked her up and down then looked behind him at his closed front door where he knew his friends were all laughing and playing games behind. "Look, Quinn… the test was probably wrong. That happens okay?"

Quinn was getting annoyed. If she wasn't 100% sure, then she wouldn't be here right now. What doesn't he get about that? Why does he think he is so much smarter than she is? "I took three tests, Finn. Three." She said bluntly.

Finn shook his head as he pushed his hand through his hair nervously. "Nah.. Just… " He frowned again as he looked at the blonde standing in front of him. He shook his head. This couldn't be right. Not at all. "You probably will get your period tomorrow or something, I wouldn't sweat it."

Quinn felt like punching the kid. Her anger was coming back, quickly. "Finn, what don't you understand about this?" she snapped. "I won't be getting my period tomorrow because I'm FUCKING PREGNANT!" Her volume grew and grew until she was yelling the last half of her sentence. She had had enough of his dumbass 'solutions' as to what it could be. It wasn't anything other than a freaking pregnancy. She didn't understand why, at 18 years old, he couldn't understand that. She breathed heavily after screaming the last statement from her lungs. Again, she didn't know how she was able to get the phrase out again without thought.

Finn instantly looked over his shoulder quickly before snapping his head back to face Quinn. His eyebrows were raised. "Keep your voice down!" He screamed at her in a whispering voice to ensure the message was delivered while simultaneously making sure that no one could hear. "What the hell do you think you are doing?! My friends are in there." He pointed over his shoulder at the closed door.

Quinn felt like her heart was beating a mile a minute. Her anger had reached a boiling point. "I don't give a fuck about your friends Finn! This fucks up EVERYTHING! What the hell are we going to do?" Quinn was in panic mode right now.

Finn snapped his eyes up to meet Quinn's. "We?" He asked with a tone that Quinn couldn't quite understand.

Quinn snapped back, "Yes, 'we'! This is your baby!"

Finn waved his hands in front of him quickly as he took a step backwards away from the blonde. "Woah woah woah. Quinn….listen…." He took a deep breath as he ran his hands over his face nervously. He let out a frustrated groan before looking back up at the girl who stood in front of him. She was looking up at him with these wide eyes, waiting eagerly for him to solve her problems. Something he wasn't interested in. Finn sighed as he looked away from her eyes. "I don't believe in abortions, and I'm certainly not ready to be a dad...so..." he trailed off. Finn gave a short awkward laugh as he pointed to Quinn. "You're on your own with this one." He shook his head quickly with a frown now on his face. "Count me out."

Quinn stood in front of the boy silently for a minute as his words seemed to echo through her ears. She looked at him with disbelief. She wasn't sure what type of reaction she was going to get from the tall teenager, but she definitely hadn't expected this one. Should she have? She finally shook her head, "What do you mean you don't believe in abortions? They exist. They aren't like Santa Clause."

In all honestly, Quinn had no idea if she wanted to have an abortion or not. She hadn't really given much thought into it. She hadn't given herself enough time to think over her options yet because it was less than an hour ago when her deepest fears were confirmed. She was pro-choice… but…was that the right choice for her? Quinn felt her eyes watering. Despite whether or not she wanted an abortion, the idiot who got her pregnant was standing in front of her saying he didn't 'believe in them'? What did that mean? Quinn figured that abortions wouldn't be cheap…so even if that was the route she chose to take then she would need help paying for it. She would need his help. What if she didn't want to have an abortion? What did he mean by 'count me out'? All she could do was stand there looking up into the eyes of her 'sex buddy' as he tried his hardest not to meet hers.

Finally Finn spoke, "Quinn...I just..." he trailed off. Suddenly he stood taller as he took another step backwards. "No," his voice was strong and filled with purpose. "I'm not dealing with this. It's your thing, you figure it out. I'm just...not about that. I'm 18-"

Quinn cut him off; the anger in her had reached an uncontrollable point. "I'm 16!" She yelled at him.

Finn replied calmly, "I mean...it's your body, so..." he didn't finish his sentence.

Quinn pointed at the teenager who was now a few feet away from her, readjusting himself clumsily. "You did this to me!"

His eyes grew wide at the last statement. He took a step closer to her, his voice suddenly stronger. He didn't want his friends inside to hear what was happening out here. "Hold on. Let's get something straight...you wanted it. We talked about it." He pointed his finger in Quinn's face. "You wanted it, you said 'yes'. We've been sleeping together for a while. This isn't just on me. It's not like I raped you or anything."

The word made Quinn turn her head from his angry finger that was waving in her face. Her anger seemed to die down as worry started to spread through her swiftly. Was he really not going to help? She had to persuade him. She couldn't do this alone. She shouldn't have to. She shook her head. "I know, but it isn't just on me either...you were an active participant! Without you I wouldn't be in this problem to begin with!" she countered before she continued. "You convinced me not to use condoms. You were the one who said that the couple of days after my period ended you could finish in me and I couldn't get pregnant." Quinn wanted to kick herself for listening to this idiot's words. Why had she listened to him? Why had she let him finish in her without using condoms, knowing that she wasn't on birth control?

Finn snapped back quickly. "You agreed with me!"

"Only because you continued to pressure me! You kept saying that it didn't make such a mess! You said that it felt so much better!"

Before she could go on Finn cut her off. "It does! You know it does!" He nearly yelled. His loud voice startled himself as he looked over his shoulder to make sure that the front door was still closed.

Quinn fired off another excuse before Finn even had a chance to look at her again. "You assured me that you researched it!"

Finn looked back at Quinn. He nodded his head as he shrugged his shoulders. "I read it somewhere..." he said vaguely. "It's not my fault you got pregnant."

Quinn threw her hands up in the air as she felt her chest grow heavy. "Seriously!?" She wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but for some reason her legs remained strong and her tear ducts remained empty.

Finn shook his head at her again. "I don't know what you want me to say, Quinn...I'm just... not about that. Sorry, I mean...I honestly don't know what you expected me to do with this information...it's not like you are my girlfriend."

Quinn snapped her head up at the tall teenager. "I know. Thank you. You've made that perfectly clear." She shook her head. What was she doing still standing here? Why was she trying this hard? Was she going to bully him into accepting something that she hadn't even accepted herself? Clearly he wasn't interested. He didn't care about her in anyway other than sexual pleasure. She was just another girl who would willingly spread her legs for him and do whatever he said. She felt bile threaten to rise in her throat. She shook her head quickly to distract her mind from those thoughts. She couldn't throw up. Not here, not now. She looked back up at Finn angrily. "You know what? Nevermind. I'll figure this out on my own, you selfish asshole. Just..." she trailed off as she took a few steps backwards away from the boy. "Fuck you!" She screamed.

Finn turned quickly and opened the door to his house. He turned again to face Quinn just as she was about to back off of his porch completely. As he closed the door he nodded in her direction. "Bye Quinn," he said simply as he disappeared behind the wooden barrier completely.

The sound of the deadbolt locking is what made Quinn finally turn on her heel and storm away from the house towards her car. She had to get home. She just wanted to be home so she could get in bed. She didn't care that it was going to be dinner time in a few hours. Right now, she wasn't hungry. As soon as she slammed her car door shut and put the keys into the ignition she looked to her right. On the passenger seat sat her backpack: the bag that held the three pregnancy tests in it. Quinn couldn't control her tears any longer. She rested her head on her steering wheel and crumbled. She sobbed heavily at what her life has become. She cried out of fear and pain and regret and worry. How had this become her life? How had she screwed up this badly?

How could Finn just leave her like that? How could he simply go back into his house and continue playing that stupid game, like nothing ever happened? Quinn looked at the backpack. Why was she stuck with this when it was so easy for him to walk away? She let out a loud sob. This wasn't fair. This wasn't how things should be. Her phone suddenly sounded. Quinn drew in a shaky breath as she reached for her phone. One text message.

_Mama Lopez: Sunday dinner will be ready in 30 minutes, don't forget! Love you!_

"Fuck!" Quinn screamed at her empty car as she slammed her phone and her hands into the steering wheel angrily. She was angry at Finn, angry at the situation, but most importantly she was angry at herself. How could she have done this to Mama Lopez? Quinn wiped at her eyes furiously, there wasn't any time left for crying. She couldn't have her eyes be puffy for Sunday dinner or else there would be nonstop questions thrown her way. The blonde looked out of her passenger window at Finn's house. It made her want to vomit. She couldn't be here anymore. She was only sixteen. She couldn't do this. Quinn looked forward and started her car, putting it in drive.

As soon as she pulled her car onto the main road that lead her home Quinn knew what she had to do. The blonde instantly rolled down her window and grabbed her backpack, dragging it into her lap. Her eyes didn't leave the road as she blindly reached into the bag and pulled out the three pregnancy tests and threw them, one by one, out of her window. As the first piece of plastic left her hand she couldn't help but think about how Rachel would be so mad at her if she knew she was littering. Quinn shook the thought from her head as she released the second one from her grasp. She couldn't keep them in her car any longer. She couldn't be near them anymore. They screamed the truth too loudly. The blonde tossed the last one out of the window into the whipping wind as she continued her drive home.

As soon as the window rolled up, the sound of the rushing wind ceased and the car was encompassed in complete silence. It was in this moment that Quinn knew exactly what she was going to do. She was going to: not do a damn thing. She wasn't going to deal with this. The second the last test crashed down on the road behind her would be the last time she would think about the result it screamed at her. She was 16, she would be 17 in a couple months...she was far too young to be making decisions like this, so she simply wasn't going to do it. If Finn could do it, so could she. Why not? Quinn nodded her head and grasped the steering wheel tighter in her hands as she sat up straighter in her seat. She wiped her face. She couldn't think about any of this. Not now. Not ever.

As she pulled onto Prescott street, the street that held her new home with the Lopez's, she decided that she would forget about everything that happened today. She simply wasn't going to deal with it. No one else needed to know, because there wasn't anything to know as far as she was concerned. She nodded her head. Pretending it was all a dream would be much easier than any of the alternatives.

* * *

They were all sitting around the dining room table for infamous Sunday dinner. Shelby, Santana, Quinn and Rachel were all talking about their week collectively as they ate the spaghetti that Shelby served up on their plates. Once the laughter had died down again Shelby nodded her head at Quinn. "How did your meeting with your lab partner go today?"

Quinn felt her shoulders slump a little at the mention of her lie. She hated that she had lied to Mama Lopez and was doing her absolute damndest to forget everything that had happened earlier in the day. She immediately looked at Santana and blew out a quick breath of relief as she pulled on her mask before Santana had a chance to look up from her plate and catch her falter. Quinn looked down at her plate and chased a meatball with her fork, unable to look anyone at that table in the eyes as she continued her lie. "Turns out he is useless," she shrugged. "He isn't going to be any help...so I'll have to figure out something on my own." Quinn stabbed the meatball with her fork. That wasn't a complete lie... unfortunately.

Shelby shook her head. "Well that doesn't seem fair."

Quinn chewed the meatball as she thought of a response to Mama Lopez's statement. It wasn't fair. None of this was. "Yea...I know." She was stupid. Finn sucked. She sucked. Everything sucked. She stared at her plate quietly.

Santana watched her friend. Something was up, but she couldn't put her finger on it. "Who is your partner?"

Quinn snapped out of her miniature daze and looked up across the table at her best friend. "Huh?" She knew Santana had spoken but she hadn't heard what the brunette said.

Santana frowned. "I was asking who you got paired with for the final lab?"

The blonde quickly nodded. "Oh, right." She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her plate again. She almost forgot that they were really talking about the science lab project. She could answer truthfully now. "Uh...cotton ball head," she finally stated as she looked up at her best friend again.

Santana scrunched up her face in disgust. "Jew fro?"

The blonde felt a smile spread onto her face. "Yea."

"Yikes. Tough break on that one. At least you have a little over a month to work on the final lab project until it is due." Santana spun more spaghetti onto her fork, shoving a big bite into her mouth.

Quinn let out a small laugh as she felt the tension release from her body. She had dodged that one easily enough. "Right?"

Shelby smiled at the two older girls. Their nicknames for people were always amusing. She knew she shouldn't be enabling them but she couldn't help but chuckle and roll her eyes. She took a bite of her garlic bread and used the rest of it to scoop some more noodles onto her fork.

Rachel shook her head at the older girls' nicknames. Once their laughter died down she looked up at Quinn and studied her features. She couldn't get the weird exchange between them earlier out of her mind. She knew something was going on, her story didn't add up. Quinn never read. She hated reading, always has. As she looked at the blonde she could see that something was wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. The eight year old sat up taller in her chair. "Quinn, why were you being so weird earlier?" As soon as the words left her lips Rachel took in Quinn's fallen face.

Both Mama Lopez and Santana looked up from their plates with a questioning look. As soon as Quinn looked at the adult woman she could feel herself pale with dread at Rachel's sudden blurt. She watched as Mama Lopez's look changed from questioning to worried. That look of worry on the older woman's face made Quinn snap back into the present and pull herself together.

Shelby looked at Quinn and then looked at Santana. When she saw the look of confusion on Santana's face she turned her attention to Rachel who was intently studying Quinn. "Being weird? In what way?" she asked. She looked back at Quinn quickly.

Quinn forced her tongue to work as she avoided Santana's gaze. "I wasn't being weird." She took a deep breath and quickly took a sip of her glass of water. "I don't know what she is talking about." The blonde shrugged her shoulders as she flashed Mama Lopez a small forced smile. The smile didn't make the older woman's worry fall from her face, which made Quinn realize that she wasn't doing a good enough job hiding her emotions.

Rachel pointed at Quinn. "Yes you do!"

Santana slowly set down her fork, not taking her eyes away from her friend. Quinn was avoiding her gaze, something was up. A million thoughts ran through her head of what could have happened to her friend. Unfortunately some of those thoughts brought up awful memories for her, making her stomach churn in the process. The brunette took a deep breath as she continued to eye her best friend in order to calm herself down. "Quinn?" she asked carefully.

Quinn sighed heavily as she set down her fork with a roll of her eyes. "I was reading a book in the bathroom." She had to stick with the same lie she had told the eight year old hours earlier. Quinn avoided Santana's eyes still as she threw her hands up in the air. She was getting angry, which wasn't fair on Rachel but it also wasn't any of Rachel's business in the first place.

Rachel pointed at Quinn again as she looked over at her mother. "See!? Who reads in the bathroom?" Rachel folded her arms over her chest as she looked back at Quinn, satisfied with herself that she had caught the teenager in her lie. When her mother didn't respond Rachel looked back over at her with furrowed brows.

Santana cut Rachel off before she could speak again. Her jaw dropped. "Woah woah woah...you were reading?"

Quinn dramatically through her head back as she looked up at the ceiling with a frustrated groan. "I read!" She exclaimed to the room before she looked back at her friend.

Santana shook her head. "Since when?" she scoffed.

"No you don't!" Rachel shouted.

Shelby shook her head as she tried to understand what was going on in front of her. "Girls, stop it."

Rachel looked back over at her mom as she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Even if she did read it still doesn't make sense." She shook her head. "I just don't get why someone would read for so long in the bathroom."

Quinn rolled her eyes again as she looked at Mama Lopez who was quietly searching her face. The young girl could feel her eyes trying to figure out what was really going on. Quinn hardened her face to ensure that the older woman couldn't find anything. Quinn threw up her hands. "I got to a good part in my book. I couldn't put it down. That's all that it was. Jeez." She looked at Rachel and gave her a challenged glare. She loved the girl like she was her own little sister but right now she didn't like her very much. Her loud mouth was making things really difficult.

"What book?" Santana asked suddenly. Her tone was accusing.

Quinn looked over at her best friend. "What?"

Santana raised her eyebrows skeptically. "What. Book?" The brunette said slowly, over pronouncing each sound.

Quinn squinted her eyes at her person. She knew that Santana knew that she didn't ever read. They both had talked about how much they hate reading and how annoying it was on numerous occasions. Santana knew everything there was to know about her, pulling this over her head was going to be hard. Quinn continued to glare at her friend as she took a sip of her water in order to kill time and think of a book title. Since she never reads she didn't know what book to say she was reading. Her mouth answered before she could even process the title that was coming out. "Twilight." She inwardly groaned at herself, why did she have to say _that_ book?

Santana's head drew back like someone had slapped her, her face covered in shock and disgust. "Oh gooooooood!" she said overdramatically. "You are joining the cult? Really? Don't tell me you are becoming a twi-hard."

Shelby breathed a sigh of relief as she couldn't find anything wrong with Quinn by studying her face. She shook her head and changed her focus to Santana. "San, you guys don't have to ALWAYS agree on the same things. Leave her alone, if she likes the book then she likes the book. You should try picking up a book or two one of these days." She raised her eyebrows at her daughter.

Santana rolled her eyes at her mother. "Um, no thanks. I'll pass on that one." She stabbed a meatball with her fork. "I'd rather do real things. Reading a book just seems like a waste of time to me."

Rachel rolled her eyes at her sister. "Watching Grey's Anatomy over and over again does not count as 'doing real things'."

Both of the teenage girls objected to Rachel's statement quickly. "Hey!" Santana playfully yelled with a mouth full of half chewed meatball.

Quinn shook her head quickly. "Don't bad mouth Grey's Anatomy, Rach."

Santana quickly swallowed the food that was in her mouth. "Yea boo, it's only the best tv show that has ever graced the television."

The blonde nodded her head at Santana's statement. "You're just bitter because your mom won't let you watch it yet..."

Shelby couldn't help but roll her eyes at the older girls. She didn't understand their obsession with that show. They didn't care to talk about politics or history or any educational topics but god forbid anyone bring up that insane television show... they could go on for hours. And if someone bad mouthed it? They acted like the world was ending. Shelby chuckled at herself as she listened to the conversation continue to unfold.

Santana smiled at Quinn then focused on Rachel again. "Yea, when you are 14 we will be MORE than happy to have marathon days and watch them with you from the beginning of season 1 through the end. Your time will come, boo."

Rachel scrunched her face. "You guys will be 22 years old by that point... you'll be burnt out of Grey's by then."

Quinn put her hand over her heart, playfully acting like Rachel had just stabbed her with her words. "There is no such thing as being burnt out by Grey's, Rachel."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows at her little eight year old sister. "Wait a sec..." the girl trailed off and paused. "How did you do that math in your head that fast?"

Everyone at the table looked at Santana silently. Rachel squinted her eyes at her older sister. "...You are 8 years older than me...so I added 8 to 14... it equals 22?" She said bluntly.

Quinn and Shelby couldn't contain their laughter at the sisters.

Santana rolled her eyes and looked back at her plate, stabbing her noodles with a scoff. "Whatever. I have to use my fingers to add, so what?" The sulking brunette refocused her attention on Quinn. "So are you team Edward or Jacob?"

Somehow Quinn was able to mask her facial expressions to what she was really feeling inside which was panic. She didn't want to talk about this lie she created anymore because it reminded her of what she was really hiding. She glared at Santana, knowing that this is what she would have done had she really been interested in reading that awful book. "Shut it." she said challengingly before she forced her mouth to pull into a small grin at her best friend.

* * *

Quinn laid on her bed as the Disney channel flashed across her muted television screen. She was stuck in her head in the silence of her bedroom. Sunday dinner was always eventful, it was something that she usually loved. Tonight however, had been exhausting and trying. She just wanted to go to sleep and wake up to a new day, but for some reason her body wasn't cooperating. Suddenly her door creaked open flooding her room with the light from the hallway. Santana leaned against the far wall next to her now opened bedroom door and crossed her arms over her chest.

She smiled at the blonde. "You aren't reading more?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and turned on her side so she could face her best friend. "I'm tired San, I read a lot already today." At least half of that was true, she was tired.

Santana looked at the blonde with an unsure face. She couldn't tell if something was up with Quinn or not. They had spent such a long time bashing that book...bashing books and reading in general...it didn't add up right. But maybe her mom had been right at dinner? Maybe Quinn just had a different opinion about it now. All of a sudden? She squinted her eyes at her person. "So is Edward dead yet?"

Quinn rolled her eyes again as she turned back onto her back and stared at the ceiling again. "He is a vampire San...vampires are the living dead." She was thankful that she knew at least that much about the series.

Santana continued to look at her friend skeptically. "Uh huh... can I see the book?"

Quinn quickly turned her head to the side to look at Santana. "What?" She was so caught off guard by the brunette's request.

"Where is it? I just wanna look at something really quick." Santana said as she stepped further into Quinn's bedroom and started for the desk.

Panic seeped into Quinn's every pore as she realized that Santana wasn't going to find this book in her room. It was all a lie, a bad one. Santana was her person, she knew that she hated reading just as much as she did. She also knew what she thought of the awful gaudy teenage vampire werewolf series that everyone seemed to go bat shit crazy over. They had talked on multiple occasions about how they both would never even pick up the book let alone attempt to read it...but of course that was the first book title that came to her mind during dinner when put on the spot. Quinn squeezed her eyes shut forcing herself to pull herself together. She had to keep this lie going and in order to do that successfully she had to get Santana to forget about it.

Quinn let out a fake groan. "San, I'm tired. Come on, knock it off."

Santana turned around and faced the blonde. "What's going on?"

"What?" she looked at her friend innocently, still laying on her back in her bed.

The brunette took a few steps towards Quinn's bed. "I'm missing something here... something is going on."

Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose. She couldn't do this for much longer. Lying to her friend was painful enough in itself, but if she was going to lie to herself then she had to have Santana believe it. She sighed heavily. "Nothing is going on. I'm literally just tired."

Santana squinted her eyes as she watched Quinn closely. She treaded carefully. "You've been acting...different. I don't know what but...something is going on."

Quinn propped herself up on her shoulders as she frowned at her friend. "Different in what way?" She had to ensure that her mask was on in this very moment as she felt Santana's eyes penetrate her own.

After a few seconds of searching Quinn's eyes Santana finally sighed, throwing her hands up in the air in defeat. "I...I don't know yet..." she pointed her finger at the blonde. "But I'm keeping an eye on you, just so you know."

Quinn let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She quickly recovered by rolling her eyes and flopping down on her mattress again. "Okay San, you do that." Quinn closed her eyes as she snuggled her head into her pillow. The room was silent for a while. Quinn almost thought that maybe Santana had left the room without a fight. She was too tired to open her eyes and see for herself. But she didn't have to. Santana's voice broke the silence.

"You'd tell me right?"

Quinn opened one eye and looked at her friend. "What?"

Santana shrugged her shoulders. "We don't keep secrets, you're my person."

Quinn closed her eye again. "And you are mine, yea I know." She really just wanted to sleep. "San... I am just... tired. Honestly, I'm just super tired."

The teen stood a few steps away from her friend's bed. She continued to look at Quinn as the blonde laid silently with her eyes closed. She was trying to decide if she was telling the truth...she looked tired...maybe she was telling the truth? "You promise?" she heard herself ask.

Quinn sighed and opened her eyes again. "Promise what?"

"That you'd come to me if something was wrong."

Quinn chewed on her lip for a second. "Yes, Santana, I promise." She forced a kind smile to her face in order to reinsure her best friend but inside she felt her stomach churning. It wasn't in Quinn's character to break promises. She made it a habit to never make a promise she couldn't keep. Whenever she promised something it was always truthful, or else she wouldn't make the promise. It's part of who she is...and has been since...forever. Her best friend knew that, that's why Santana always pulled that word from her hat when she thought something was wrong. In the past..if she was lying, San would ask her to promise...and Quinn would tactfully change the sentence structure and wording to make sure she left it where she was not really promising anything. Santana of course would catch on every time.

However in this moment...Quinn wasn't technically lying, she told herself. Nothing is wrong with her because as far as she is concerned this is all a bad dream and she'll be waking up from it in a few hours. Nothing is wrong with her because the problem doesn't exist. If Finn can walk away from it, so can she. This wasn't something she was going to deal with, she'll put it on the back burner and maybe revisit it later, but in this moment...she was fine. Nothing was wrong, just like she told Santana.

Quinn noticed Santana was still eyeing her suspiciously, not completely convinced by her promise. Quinn rolled her eyes, she didn't need this right now. "I would come to you," she stated simply for her friend.

Finally the brunette sighed, a relieved smile filled her face as she released an unsteady breath. It felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. Quinn wouldn't promise something if it wasn't true. She was always honest with her promises, both of them knew that. Hearing it come from Quinn's mouth made her relax. Maybe her best friend was just having a couple of off days lately. Maybe she was reading too much into her slightly off behavior. That had to be it because in this moment, looking at Quinn's face she couldn't see anything wrong. Santana shrugged her shoulders. "Okay good. I love you." She smiled as she started walking towards the bedroom door again to leave the room.

Quinn felt her body relax completely into her bed. She had done it successfully. Santana had dropped the subject and had accepted her answer finally. She turned her head to face the brunette as Santana paused in her doorway. "I love you too."

Santana looked over her shoulder pausing with her hand on the door knob. "Even if you are a team Edward looney," she smiled with a playful wink and a small chuckle as she pulled the door closed and left for her room.

Quinn rolled her eyes and turned onto her side once the door was pulled closed, once again submerging the room in darkness save the light that shone from the TV screen. In the silence and darkness Quinn closed her eyes as her thoughts returned to what they were before Santana's intrusion. She shook her head at herself. She was going to have to go find that stupid book and read it now in order to keep up the lie that blew bigger than she had originally expected it to be.

Quinn grabbed her pillow tighter as she let out a sigh. At least it would keep her mind occupied. She was going to have to find more ways of doing that if she was going to go down this road she had begun paving. More distractions were a must. If she could focus on other things then she wouldn't have to think about herself... Quinn closed her eyes tighter willing her mind to shut off and go to sleep. Nothing was wrong with her. Nothing. Today was just a bad dream. It was all just a bad dream.

* * *

**A/N: So that is chapter 1, please let me know what you think. I do want to warn you that life has gotten pretty hectic for me, so I don't know how frequent updates will be. I do promise to work on it when I get the time, but I don't want you all to expect quick updates like my last story. Thank you for your time and reviews! A very very special thanks goes to my amazing friend Beans008. She has helped me so much with getting this story onto paper and getting it out here for you guys! She is truly the best! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed. They are so so so appreciated. Enjoy the next chapter!**

**Chapter 2**

Santana and Quinn walked down the hallway in their Cheerio's uniform with long strides as they made their way to their lockers to get their books for their first period. The hallways were always obnoxiously packed with kids in the morning; people bumped into people, others were shoved out of the way while others stood with their backs glued to the lockers to stay out of harms way or watch and laugh at those who were hassled.

One of the perks of being a Cheerio was the title that it came with. People moved out of their way thanks to the hierarchy. It made Quinn smile. Her smile instantly fell from her face as her breath froze in her chest when she saw Finn round the corner and make his way towards her and Santana. She immediately cast her eyes downward as he got closer, trying her best to act like she hadn't seen the extremely tall teenage boy in the letterman jacket. However as they kept walking, her eyes trained on the dirty tile, she realized that the hallway wasn't that long. She would have already ran into Finn by this point, or should have at least. Her brows furrowed as she looked up at the crowded hall again. Finn was nowhere to be seen. She quickly glanced over her shoulder and felt a pang in her chest as she noticed that Finn had already passed. She scolded herself, what was she expecting? Did she really think after last night that he would finally approach her in the hallway and acknowledge that she existed? He never did, why would he start now? She frowned at herself. Did she even want that? Quinn turned her head forward again as she started to chew on her lip nervously. She turned her head nonchalantly to glance at Santana to make sure that her friend hadn't seen how awkward she had just gotten. Unfortunately Santana was already staring at her with creased eyebrows. Of course she had seen.

"What gives?" Santana asked as they stopped at their locker. She looked over Quinn's shoulder towards the tall quarterback who was standing at the other end of the hallway laughing with his other jock friends. Her mouth curled up in disgust. She hated that tall monkey like boy.

Quinn rolled her eyes at her friend. "Nothing."

Santana sighed. "I know that I've said this a hundred times...I probably sound like a broken record...but I wish that you would stop messing around with him. He is such a jerk. He just point blank avoided you just now. He literally looked the other way to avoid your eyes, but you were too busy studying the tiled floors to even notice." She let out a sarcastic laugh. "The least he could do is say 'hello', I mean seriously." She stepped closer to her best friend as she continued with her rant, not caring that Quinn was rolling her eyes yet again at the topic. "I hate that he avoids you at school and pretends that you don't exist, but will sneak in through your window three or four times a week. He has no problem sleeping with you and isn't shy about calling you up for a booty call but he can't even manage a 'hi'? Seriously? He's just gross. I wish I could deliver one solid punch to his tubby gut-"

The blonde cut off her friend. "San, don't you dare."

Santana sighed. "I won't... you know I wouldn't. I just..." she groaned. "I wish you would leave him and find someone else."

"I'm not with him."

Santana put her hands up in front of her. "Oh I know. I am well aware. 'He doesn't want a label.' I have listened to you cry too many times because of that ogre refusing to take you seriously."

Quinn hung her head suddenly embarrassed of all of the times that she had cried over Finn to Santana. "I'm sorry..."

"No, Quinn. Don't apologize." Santana shook her head. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm your person, you are ALWAYS allowed to come crying to me when you need it." The brunette sighed heavily as she looked at her best friend. "I just hate the fact that Fucktard over there," Santana pointed in the direction that Finn was standing at the end of the hall before continuing, "has made you cry on so many occasions. He is a prick. You could do IMMENSELY better than him."

Quinn gave her friend a small smile, thankful to have her care so much, but this conversation was too hard to have on a normal day, not to mention the day after she found out that she was... Quinn shook her head. She couldn't let her brain or thoughts go there. This conversation was hard because she had daddy issues and that was it, she tried to convince herself. Sure she had liked Finn, sure she wanted more than what they previously had been but none of that mattered because he didn't want more. It was purely physical, and she had to be okay with that because feeling the physical at least let her feel something. Not being wanted by her father had been something that she constantly battled with in her own head. It was so easy for him to treat her like shit and to kick her out, and while yes, life now was a lot easier and better without living in his house, it was still confusing and complicated. Finn made her feel wanted, even if it was just for sex. The sex was fun. It is purely physical, or at least it was. Now it was nothing.

Quinn opened her mouth to change the subject just as Mike Chang walked up to the two girls, saving her from the conversation. "Hi Santana," he smiled at the brunette before looking over at Quinn and nodding his head politely at her.

Quinn smiled and nodded her head back as a greeting and then watched as Mike changed his gaze back to Santana. A big smile filled his face as his eyes met hers, it was adorable. Quinn turned towards her locker to pull her textbooks from it and to give the two a little bit of privacy.

"Hey Mike," Santana said simply back to the boy, her eyes were reluctant to leave Quinn's. They were not even near being done with that conversation, but of course they couldn't talk about it with Mike standing right here. She smiled at the boy.

Mike shoved his hands into his pockets nervously as an awkward silence enveloped the trio. He shrugged his shoulders. "So uh... are you having a good day so far?"

Santana shrugged her shoulders. "I guess? I mean as good as I can while still being forced to attend this lovely hell hole." She let out a small laugh. "The day just kind of started, we just got here."

Mike nodded his head. "Right..." he shifted his weight. "I guess it would be a better day if we didn't have to be here huh?"

Santana smiled. "Definitely."

"Did uh...did you have a good weekend?" Mike asked with a smile.

The brunette shrugged her shoulders. "It was fine, nothing fancy. How about you?"

Mike chuckled at Santana's answer. "My weekend was nice, went by too quickly though."

"Always does."

Another awkward silence forced Mike to run his fingers through his hair nervously. "Well..." he trailed off as he looked over at Quinn who had turned to face them again. "Alright ladies, I'm going to go...I need to uh...go to my locker before the first bell rings." He felt like his face was flushing and he was hating every second of it. He gave a small smile at Quinn.

Quinn smiled kindly back at the teenage sweetheart. "Bye Mike."

Mike turned to look at Santana again. "Well, I'll see ya in history then, Santana?"

Santana nodded her head. "Yep, definitely. See ya there."

With that the girls watched as the cute asian pulled his letterman jacket tighter over his shoulders and turned on his heel walking away from the duo down the hallway. Once he was out of earshot Quinn looked at her best friend with a large smile on her face. "San!" She squealed playfully.

Santana rolled her eyes at her friend already knowing where this conversation was going. She shook her head as she closed her locker.

"He likes you!" Quinn continued despite her friend's less than enthusiastic response.

The brunette scoffed, "Nah..." She began walking down the hallway again in the direction of their first class. "He is just nice. We have math and history together."

Quinn had to quicken her pace to keep up with her friend. The blonde couldn't get rid of the smile that covered her face. She couldn't help but feel giddy for her best friend. Mike Chang was a great guy, and totally adorable and sweet. He would be perfect for Santana, now all she had to do was convince Santana that he totally was into her. She looked directly at Santana as she walked next to her. "No. He definitely likes you, he is so sweet! Why don't you go on a date with him?"

Silence was Santana's response. She squeezed her textbook into her chest as her eyes cast downward. She looked down at the floor as her steps continued their quick pace. "I don't know..." she mumbled just above a whisper.

Quinn watched as her friend's demeanor changed instantly. Santana's face had paled and her eyes had glossed over. When Quinn looked down at her friend's arms she could see the death grip she had on her textbook and it all clicked together in that moment. Quinn felt a pang in her chest. She took a few larger strides so she could place herself in front of her best friend, effectively stopping Santana to a halt. The blonde gently placed her hand on Santana's upper arm, trying her best to pretend that she didn't notice the brunette's flinch, and she guided her over to the side alcove for a little bit of privacy. She knew that this was about Santana's rape. She could tell by her best friend's instant change in body language that Santana's mind was being occupied with Guillermo Chavez rather than Mike Chang. Quinn had to address it without wandering ears.

Once Quinn was satisfied that they were out of earshot of other's Quinn looked at her friend with a sad smile. "Santana..." she trailed off until the brunette met her gaze. "Mike is a good guy. You can go with him to Breadsticks or somewhere else public... somewhere with lots of people. It can be during the daytime..." Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "You have your pepper spray on your keychain now for when you walk to your car. -"

Santana quickly shook her head, cutting off the blonde. "I know what my triggers are Quinn, thank you very much." she huffed.

A look of hurt covered Quinn's face. "San, I'm just trying to help..." She lowered her voice, "I wasn't...I wasn't trying to be rude or hurtful or anything...I -"

Santana sighed heavily as she pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut. "I know. Sorry... that was rude." She lowered her hand and looked at her best friend. "I know you are trying to help me... I just..." she shook her head. "I don't know if I can date right now." She lowered her gaze. "I don't know about him."

Quinn was trying really hard to follow where Santana was leading the conversation but she felt like she wasn't understanding completely. She looked at her friend. "Do you not think he is cute?"

Santana looked up at the blonde. "It's not that. I mean yea, I think he is good looking. And he is nice and funny..." she felt herself smile a little as she went on. "Our conversations during history and math are always easy and fun..."

Quinn smiled at her friend as she shrugged her shoulders. "See? Then what's the problem? I haven't ever heard anything bad about him. He is super sweet."

The brunette felt her face drop. She paused trying to form the words she wanted to say. This was the part of the conversation she was dreading. This was what she was dreading in general. This was her point. Santana looked up at Quinn but then quickly averted her gaze down at her own hands, unable to hold her best friend's gaze as she said the words. "I just...I know that...once you are 'official' with someone..." Santana trailed off she willed the tears that suddenly surfaced in her eyes to disappear before clearing her throat and continuing. "the next thing is sex..."

Quinn felt like someone punched her in the stomach at her friend's words. "Oh San..." she breathed. She looked at her friend's body language and noted that Santana was avoiding her gaze, it broke her heart.

Santana blinked her eyes rapidly in order to ensure that no tears spilled over her cheeks. She couldn't cry at school. She looked up towards Quinn's face but continued to avoid her eyes. Her voice was quiet when she spoke again. "I mean... what if he asks if I am a virgin? You know?" She looked into Quinn's eyes but when she saw the sadness for her that lived behind them she averted her gaze again. "It's just so complicated that I would rather not. It would be too much for him to deal with. Besides...he doesn't like me like that."

Quinn pulled herself together for her friend. It wasn't very often that Santana would talk about her rape or anything related to it, so when she did Quinn always made sure that she was 100% there for her best friend. She wouldn't let her emotions get the best of her. At least not right now, not in front of Santana when she needed her to be strong. Quinn shook her head. "He definitely is crushing on you. His face always lights up when he sees you, it is really sweet and adorable." She let herself smile as she thought about how the teenage boy acted when he was around Santana. "Plus he gets all nervous... it is cute." The blonde looked at her friend gently as she grabbed Santana's hand forcing her friend to look into her eyes. "San, you can't decide what is too much for other people. If you know he is a good guy and if you have good conversations with him during class...then why not go to Breadsticks for lunch one Saturday? Just take one step at a time."

"I don't know," Santana sighed. She felt Quinn squeeze her hand warningly causing her to roll her eyes at her friend, a tiny smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Quinn never let her be hard on herself. Santana knew that the blonde wouldn't let the subject go unless she showed that she had actually listened to her words. "Maybe..." Quinn raised her eyebrows at the brunette. Santana corrected herself a third time. "We'll see." she let out a sigh and shrugged her shoulders as she wiped her face to ensure that there were no tears that fell. "I mean...he would have to ask me out first, and since he hasn't done that yet..."

Quinn scoffed. "We live in the 21st century Santana Maree."

"Did you just middle name me?" she laughed.

Quinn nodded her head as her smile grew wider. She linked arms with her friend and walked with her out of the alcove and back into the bustling hallway as they neared their classrooms. "You can ask him to lunch. Girl power and all that jazz."

Santana rolled her eyes at her friend again, but couldn't get rid of her smile. "Yea yea…alright. I'll see you after class." Santana pulled her arm free from her best friend and winked at her playfully. She was so grateful to have Quinn as her best friend. The blonde always knew exactly what to say, and was the best listener.

Quinn shouted after her best friend as the brunette entered her classroom. "Love ya!" She continued her walk towards her class, the door at the end of the hall. Her smile slowly melted from her face. Quinn's heart ached for Santana, she hated how much of a struggle things were for her best friend and would continue to be as different things came forward in life. That one horrible man had changed so much for the brunette. It wasn't just something that happened, it was something that Santana would have to live with for the rest of her life. It was easy to forget about sometimes. Santana had gotten so much better thanks to her therapist; those sessions really have helped her come a long way. But then a utensil would drop or a doorbell would sound and her best friend's flinch would remind Quinn that it wasn't over for Santana. It was instances like this that would happen that would remind Quinn that it wouldn't ever be over for her. She hadn't even thought about the reasons why Santana wouldn't be interested in going on a date. Now it made sense, but Quinn hated that it made sense. Dating, trusting, sex, being independent, sharing information... all of these things that everyone takes for granted have now been tainted by the monster, Guillermo Chavez.

Brittany bouncing up to her side brought Quinn out of her thoughts abruptly, which she couldn't help but be thankful for. The tall blonde smiled. "Hey Q!"

"Hey Britt."

"Did you by any chance finish that English paper?" Brittany asked with raised eyebrows.

Quinn shook her head and gave a small laugh. "Brittany, for the hundredth time, I don't have your English class. I'm in AP Lang remember?"

Brittany brought the palm of her hand to her forehead. "Oh yea! Duh! I don't know why I keep forgetting that. I get you confused with the other blonde in my class."

"Thanks?"

Brittany shrugged her shoulders waving her hand at her friend. "Well dang. I need to find that blonde somewhere before 5th period and get that paper from her then." She turned on her heel and walked away like she was on a mission.

Quinn watched as Brittany started to walk away from her but in that moment she instantly remembered something she had to talk to the blonde about without Santana present: that stupid book. "Britt!" she called out after her friend.

Brittany stopped mid step and quickly made her way back to Quinn. Quinn pulled the taller blonde to the side of the hallway so they wouldn't get trampled by the crowds. "Hey uh… Do you still have that Twilight book by any chance?"

Brittany's brows furrowed, like Quinn was asking her the dumbest question that has ever been asked. "Of course I do." she said bluntly.

Quinn rolled her eyes at herself. She hated that she was about to ask this question, but unfortunately she had to in order to keep Santana and Rachel off of her back. "Is there uh..." the blonde cleared her throat and took a second to look around Brittany to make sure that Santana wasn't there for some reason. "Is there anyway I can maybe borrow it?"

Brittany's jaw dropped dramatically. A few seconds of silence passed... a little too long of an uncomfortable silence. Quinn was about to wave her hand in front of her friend's face in order to make sure she wasn't having a stroke or something when a huge smile suddenly flashed across the tall blonde's face.

"Yes!" Brittany yelled as she pumped her fist in the air happily. The tall blonde took the next few seconds to do a happy dance to a song that only she could hear in her head.

Quinn looked around herself a little embarrassed as she noticed that there were a few students that had stopped walking or stopped talking and were frozen in place as they gawked at the two blondes. The expressions on their faces told Quinn that they were clearly eavesdropping to figure out what all the commotion was about. Brittany was doing a happy dance for crying out loud. Quinn quickly refocused back on her friend and grabbed Brittany's wrist, bringing it back down. "Don't make a scene," she hushed as she looked over her shoulders once more. Quinn let out a breath of relief as she noticed the students continuing to walk, giving up on their eavesdropping.

Brittany shrugged her shoulders. "Quinn, this is like a huge deal."

Quinn shook her head with another eye roll. "It is not."

"It is." Brittany countered.

"It is just a book." the blonde shook her head.

Brittany shot her hand over her heart dramatically. "You say that now! But once you get into this book then you will be whistling a different tune!"

Quinn stared at her friend with a blank face. "uh huh…" she seriously didn't understand everyone's obsession with these stupid books and movies. Why did she have to tell the family that she was reading Twilight? Of all the books that have ever been written...she would pick that one. Clearly she liked to torture herself. She rolled her eyes at herself. A distraction is a distraction. She needed them she reminded herself. "Anyway so when can I get that from you?"

"I have it in my locker!"

Quinn's eyebrows rose. "You STILL have it in your locker?"

"Yup," Brittany popped the 'p' at the end of the word for emphasis. "I've been waiting for this day. I KNEW that eventually you and Santana would join me!"

Quin released a nervous laugh. The warning bell sounded, signifying that the students had one minute to get to class before the tardy bell would ring. She looked at Brittany. "Alright, I'll get that from you later. I gotta go I have Ms. Decker."

Brittany scrunched her face up. "Ew. Grumpy old lady."

The shorter blonde nodded her head. "Exactly." She started to walk away from Brittany but shouted over her shoulder as she did, "I'll talk to you later!"

Brittany yelled back, "Team Jacob!"

Quinn cringed at the ridiculousness. Distractions, she reminded herself. She needed distractions. Quinn shook her head as she entered her classroom. Anatomy. Written on the front board of the room were the words: 'Reproductive system'. Quinn let out a heavy sigh as her stomach felt like it hit the ground. Did the world seriously hate her this much? She forced herself to take a few deep breaths in order to keep from running from the room and throwing up in the nearest bathroom. Distractions, she repeated to herself, she would be needing more than just that lousy book to keep her mind busy.

...

Santana was rushing down the hallway towards the cafeteria. She was late to lunch because she and Mike got caught up in a conversation about aliens after geometry had ended. For the first time in her life she was thankful for Quinn's weird obsession, and that awful show that always seemed to be on when she was around: Ancient Aliens. Apparently Mike was a closet alien nerd. Who knew? Santana smirked as she continued her brisk pace. It was kind of adorable. She didn't realize how long they had been talking until she happened to glance up at the clock and see that lunch was more than halfway over. She had waved bye to him and started on her walk down the ridiculously long hallway to the noisy lunch room. About halfway down the hall was when her anxiety kicked in. She hated walking anywhere alone since that night. Even though in the back of her mind she knew that she was at school, it was the middle of the day and she wasn't REALLY alone, she couldn't stop the tightness she felt in her chest. She knew that as soon as she got into the crowded room she would feel much better; she just needed to see her friends.

Almost there. She turned the corner sharply and just missed completely colliding with someone. Her shoulder had slammed into theirs, sending her stumbling forward a little until she was able to regain her footing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Santana realized who the letterman jacket was that she was talking to and instantly frowned. She straightened out her clothes and took a step closer towards Finn who was readjusting his jacket.

"God, you could have thrown out my arm, Santana." he huffed. "Where the hell are you running to? There isn't a fire."

Santana frowned. She really couldn't stand this kid. "Your arm is fine." She took a step closer to him."Stop being such a baby."

Finn shook his head angrily. "I am really not interested in talking to you, Santana."

Santana threw her head back in disgust. "Like I would want to talk to you, sasquach."

The brunette watched as the tall jock got defensive really quickly. The look on his face was a mixture between annoyance and anger which Santana couldn't really understand because she had used that nicknames plenty of times before only to have him laugh it off with his annoying ass smirk that said, 'I'm fucking your best friend and using her and there is nothing you can do about it.' Finn took a step closer to Santana, making her feel slightly uncomfortable. She held her ground as he opened his mouth to speak again, pointing a finger at the brunette. "Whatever. You can't be a bitch to me about this." his voice was low. "You don't have any moral high ground to stand on. You dumped your boyfriend by straight up ignoring him for over a week. That is fucked up."

Bringing up her last relationship was a punch to the gut that caught her off guard. Santana couldn't help but feel like she was caught off guard a lot since... She shook her head. Even though Finn had absolutely no idea about the events that happened on Puck's birthday...by bringing up Puck he also was bringing up her rape, only he didn't know it. She certainly did though. She had ignored Puck because she didn't know what to say to him. She had ignored him because her rapist threatened to come back for more and then kill her if she had told anyone. She couldn't tell him, so she just ignored him. Santana shook her head forcing herself to focus on the present and to breathe, like her therapist always told her to do.

She looked at the lanky teenage boy as she tried to regain her strength. "That was...that was half a year ago. Jeez. Get over it, I get that he is your best friend but it wasn't exactly like Puck was broken up over it. He was with a new girl not even a week after... so... whatever."

Finn waved his hand at her. "Don't get an attitude with me. I'm just doing the same thing you are trying to do right now."

What? Now Santana was really confused. She shook her head. "And what is that?"

"Protect my best friend."

The brunette scrunched up her face in confusion. How had this conversation turned from her apologizing for running the loser over to him being all defensive. What was she missing? His words rang in her ear causing her stomach to clench. She felt a fire begin to burn under her skin. She took a step closer to the boy, putting them so close that their fronts were almost touching. "What exactly am I protecting my best friend from?"

"Shut up Santana. I know that you know. That is why you rammed into me."

The confusion didn't leave her face. He wasn't making any sense. "I didn't even mean to bump into you, jackass. That is why I said sorry." She shook her head before looking the giant oaf in the eyes again. "I have no idea what you are talking about. What am I supposed to know?"

Finn took a step away from her as he waves his hands in front of himself. "I'm not having this conversation."

Santana squinted her eyes at him. She was completely unsure of what the hell he was talking about. Something was up, but she had no idea what it was. She was trying to piece together the random tidbits of information that he had revealed but she was quickly realizing that it was nothing. The giant wasn't making any sense. Just as she was about to open her mouth with a comeback Quinn suddenly appeared at her side.

"San?" Quinn's voice cracked from beside Santana.

The fiery brunette looked over at her best friend prepared to question her about what the hell Finn was talking about but the sight of Quinn made her freeze. Quinn was shifting her weight back and forth between her feet and had her arms folded tightly over her chest. She looked completely uncomfortable and worried. Santana noticed that the blonde's eyes were darting from Finn to Santana back and forth as if she was trying to assess what was happening. Her complexion was paler than normal and her breathing was quicker than it should be. She was nervous? Why? Santana took a moment to look at Finn. His eyes were suddenly glued to the ceiling. He was staring at it so intently it seemed as if there was a reason to believe it might fall. Santana looked back at her best friend with a completely baffled look on her face. What the hell was she missing?

Quinn cleared her throat. It felt like it was so dry that she wasn't sure any words would even come out. "What's...um...w-what is going on?" She squeezed her arms tighter into her chest nervously. She looked over at Finn again but then quickly refocused on her best friend. She tried to read Santana's facial expressions to figure out what they were talking about. Had Finn told Santana? She could feel her heart beating in her chest. Coming out of the cafeteria to find her best friend and her...Finn... standing close to each other with angry scowls on their faces wouldn't bode well for her. Finn was so annoyed last night when she had told him about the...news. He had closed the door in her face and said he wasn't interested, and then he made it that much clearer by avoiding her at school all day today. So what was he doing talking to Santana? How much had he said? Santana looked pissed.

Santana pointed at Finn. "That is what I am trying to figure out. I accidentally bumped into jolly green over here and then suddenly he is talking about how I did it on purpose because I was 'protecting you from him' and all this shit..."

Quinn felt the color drain from her face. "W-what?" She suddenly felt nauseous again. Finn had assumed that she had told Santana the same news that she told him the previous night. It would typically be the right assumption to make since they told each other everything...but not when Quinn had decided that she was going to be able to walk away from this problem like Finn was planning on doing. There wasn't any reason to tell her, since there wasn't anything wrong. Yet here they were...Finn and his big mouth. How much had he said?

Santana took in her friend's body language. "What am I missing?"

Quinn snapped out of her thoughts and reached for her friend's hand. "San, let's...let's go over here." The blonde tried to pull Santana away from Finn but the brunette quickly shrugged off her grasp. Before Santana could object she was cut off.

"I'm gonna go." Finn said bluntly, still avoiding Quinn's eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Santana.

Santana shook her head. "The hell you are." she snapped back fiercely.

"Santana!" Quinn attempted to scold her friend but was cut off by Finn again.

"Fuck you, Santana," he snarled back before he pushed past the two girls and walked briskly back into the cafeteria that he had just exited from.

Santana shook her head in angry disgust. She turned towards Quinn with a baffled look on her face. "I can't fucking believe that you sleep with him!"

Quinn shook her head slowly as she continued to look in the direction Finn had just exited. "Please stop." Tears started to fill her eyes without warning. The blonde quickly looked at her friend in hopes that she didn't see the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes, but unfortunately Santana was staring right at her.

The brunette stopped huffing immediately at the sight of her person's tears. Her heart felt like it stopped beating. Finn had said something about Quinn needing to be protected from him. That was what he had said...right? She didn't want to ask this question but she had to. "Quinn... did he...did he hurt you?"

"What? No! No... I promise. It's...it is nothing like that. Santana I swear."

Santana attempted to understand the situation by absorbing every detail about what Quinn was doing and saying and how she was acting. "You are crying..."

It was like Quinn just realized that she was in fact crying. She wiped furiously at her eyes. "I'm just emotional right now." She wasn't lying. It seemed like everything was either pissing her off or making her want to cry. Fuck these fucking hormones.

Santana eyed her friend suspiciously. "Are you on your period or something?"

Quinn let out a short laugh as she rubbed her cloudy eyes. Period? If only. The 'or something' was more like it. As Quinn wiped the rest of the tears from her eyes her mind began to work a mile a minute. She couldn't tell Santana about this. She didn't want to. She wanted to pretend that there was no problem...and by not telling a single soul it kept it nonexistant. Finn wanted to be out of her life, and as long as no one else knew then none of it would matter. She looked at her friend. Not only did she feel like she had to keep this secret for herself but Quinn couldn't bare to burden Santana with this load. She didn't want to do that to her best friend. It would just demonstrate to Santana that no man is good, and that was something that the family and her therapist had been working SO hard to prove wrong for the brunette. Starting with her father's sudden death, any guy that Santana has come across has hurt her or the people she loved one way or another: Mama Lopez's ex-boyfriend Ryan, Puck, Guillermo Chavez...even Quinn's own father, Russell. They have all been sorry excuses for men. Quinn didn't want to be responsible for adding the shit head, Finn Hudson to that list.

Quinn forced herself to focus on the present so that her friend wouldn't get too suspicious and begin to ask more questions. The blonde remembered Santana's last question and realized that Santana had given her the perfect out. "Yea... I am. You know how I get."

Santana nodded her head in understanding. Quinn was a crier when she was PMSing. It was something she'd known about the blonde for years now. Santana looked at her friend carefully. "So he isn't hurting you?"

Quinn quickly shook her head as she stood up straighter. "I pinky swear on our friendship." She didn't want Santana's mind going there. San obviously knew everything about what happened under the Fabray roof, because of that she was always protective. Quinn had a feeling she always would be, since her best friend knew how little Quinn thought of herself. Quinn frowned inwardly... she was sure that she wasn't anything important, and most of the time she had deserved the treatment her Father had given her but...that was a different subject. Another one that the blonde tried really hard to erase from her memory bank. Santana brought Quinn out of her thoughts.

The brunette nodded her head. "Then.. then what was all that about?" She nodded in the direction that her and Finn had just been bickering. "What did he mean?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "We just got into another dumb fight... it's fine." She wasn't lying completely.

Her best friend shook her head. "It's not...but..." Santana chose to trail off instead of pursuing this argument again. She knew she wasn't going to convince her friend that she deserved better right now in the school hallway minutes before lunch ended. She looked at Quinn and straightened her posture. "If he talks to me like that ever again I will punch his lights out. He better not talk to you like that." She pointed at the blonde.

She shook her head wishing that that was the only problem that she had with the boy. "He doesn't."

Santana paused, a silence passed between the two friends. "So...all his huffing and puffing and the weird looks... was because of a small fight you two had?"

A voice in Quinn's head answered her best friend silently. Small? No. Somehow Quinn managed to nod her head. "Yes."

The brunette eyed her friend suspiciously. She was trying so hard to read Quinn's facial expressions in this moment but she wasn't able to tell one way or the other if the blonde was telling the truth or not. "I don't know if I believe you," she said bluntly.

"San," Quinn sighed as she rolled her eyes. "You've yelled at him before because of his whole lack of wanting to be a boyfriend thing."

"That is what it was about again? Well yea, because it is ridiculous and completely-"

Quinn put her hand up in front of her friend, effectively stopping Santana mid rant. "Need I say more?" She raised her eyebrows at her, showing her best friend that she had just proved her point for her. "I mean you know how he gets about it... so just...drop it okay?"

"Well excuse me for caring." Santana said sarcastically; although both of the girls knew it wasn't just sarcasm behind that statement. The brunette waved off her friend as the two begun to make their way towards their classrooms. Lunch period would be over soon, there was no point in them even attempting to go back into the crazy crowded lunchroom.

...

Quinn and Santana were leaning against the lockers after school as they waited for Brittany to meet them. The three girls always walked to Cheerios practice together; their final classes for the day were all in the same hallway so meeting up to walk to practice was always quick and easy. However, today for some reason Brittany was straggling.

"How was Marine Bio with Mike?" Quinn asked nonchalantly as they waited.

Santana squinted her eyes at her friend, knowing exactly what she was doing. "First of all I have Geometry with Mike, not Marine Bio. Second of all, why are you suddenly SO interested in me and Mike? I mean, he has talked to me before. So why today are you all 'go jump his bones'."

Quinn shook her head with a small laugh. "Alright Ms. Attitude. First of all," she mocked her friend, "I never said to go 'jump his bones', no one says that these days and I wouldn't ever say that to you." Quinn noticed Santana's eyes dart to the floor as the conversation suddenly felt too heavy for the brunette. The blonde decided to keep it light instead as she continued, "Second of all, we have nothing else to talk about right now so why not talk about him?"

Santana shrugged her shoulders with a small smile. "I mean... I don't know. He is just Mike. We talk."

"So are all the conversations you have as awkward as the one this morning was?" Quinn joked with her friend.

The brunette rolled her eyes. "No, thank you very much. We always have something to talk about."

"Like?"

Santana glared at her friend playfully. "Well today we did a lot of talking about aliens..."

"Aliens?!" Quinn basically jumped up and down with enthusiasm.

Santana laughed at her friend's excitement at the mere mention of the subject. "Yea," she laughed again, rolling her eyes at her best friend's weird obsession. "Who would have thought your silly Ancient Aliens show would have helped me with a boy."

"Oh my gosh. He is so perfect. San, if he likes aliens then he already has my permission to take you to lunch."

"Oh, because I need your permission to go to lunch with anyone?" Santana couldn't help but smile.

Quinn winked at her best friend. "Obviously, Hoes before bros."

Santana scrunched her face up. "I don't think that is how the saying goes -"

The girl's laughter was cut off by Brittany suddenly joining them at the lockers. The tall blonde skipped up to the duo with a big smile on her face as she held something behind her back, out of eyesight from the friends. "Hi guys!"

"Hey Britt, what do you have there?" Santana asked lightly.

Instead of answering the question with words, Brittany dramatically pulled her arm from behind her back and revealed that she was holding a book in her hand. Not just any book, but _Twilight._ "Tadaa!" Brittany shouted happily. "Just for you Q!" Brittany smiled brightly at the blonde.

Santana's brows furrowed in confusion. She instantly looked up at Brittany who still had a ridiculous smile on her face before she quickly darted her eyes at Quinn. The blonde was already looking at Santana with wide eyes. As soon as their eyes met, Quinn averted her gaze back towards Brittany. Santana watched as her best friend started chewing her lip nervously. What the hell was happening?

Santana looked back at Brittany. "Is that the second book or something?"

Brittany rolled her eyes at her friend. "No San. The first one is _Twilight_," she shook the book in her hands causing the brunette to eye it suspiciously before the tall blonde shoved it into Quinn's shaking hands. "Then it goes: _New Moon, Eclipse _and then_ Breaking Dawn," _Brittany continued listing off the titles in order on her fingers. "Stephanie Meyer, that's the author, also wrote another book that's related to the saga called _The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner_ too...but you read that one after you finish all the other ones. So Quinn will have to start with this one." She finished with a smile.

Santana was only halfway listening to Brittany. She was more focused on watching her best friend become more and more on edge as the conversation went on. Quinn was refusing to meet her eyes as she now clenched the book tightly to her chest. Santana's eyes were now squinted in accusation as she continued to stare at the shorter blonde. None of this made sense. Quinn had lied? Why? Why would she say she was reading a book if she hadn't even gotten it yet? Santana watched Quinn chew feverishly on her bottom lip. It was a nervous habit that Quinn hadn't been able to kick. Why was she so nervous? Was it because she knows that she was caught in a lie? Santana shook her head. Why did she lie? She asked herself again. This wasn't adding up. Quinn's guilty demeanor was adding to her suspicion and worry.

Brittany's voice broke through the awkward silence. "Am I missing something?"

"No." Quinn answered almost too quickly. She refused to look at Santana. She couldn't look her friend in the eyes right now because she didn't have a plan. She couldn't look at Santana because she didn't want to see the hurt that she knew covered her friend's face. The entire lie that she had built last night was now in pieces all over the floor thanks to the stupid book that was currently clutched into her chest.

Brittany saw the tension between the two girls but decided to ignore it. She shrugged her shoulders. A smile spread on her face as she looked at the brunette. "San, now that Quinn has 'joined the dark side' as you call it...you really should read them too! They are great books. I'm team Jacob all the way."

Santana didn't even answer the tall blonde, her eyes hadn't left Quinn's nervous form since the book was first brought to her attention. She raised her eyebrows at her friend. "What team did you say you were Quinn?" Santana was pissed. They were each other's persons. They didn't keep secrets from each other. Quinn had promised that nothing was wrong, yet here she was caught in this huge stupid lie.

Brittany gently and playfully pushed Santana with her hand. "She hasn't started reading it yet silly...but when she does she should totally be on team Jake. That Taylor Lautner kid is a hottie..." Brittany didn't notice that as she talked Santana was too busy glaring at Quinn and Quinn was too busy avoiding Santana's eyes for either of them to hear what she was talking about.

Quinn had had enough. The inside of her mouth felt dry, she felt nauseous and it felt like her eyes might start to water if she remained here with the book in her arms. If she stayed under the scrutiny of Santana much longer she knew her dam would burst and she would break down into a puddle on the floor. She shook her head. She didn't want that. She didn't want any of this. Quinn had to get out of here. "Um alright well thanks Britt..." the shorter blonde suddenly started backing away from the other two girls. She still refused to look over at her best friend as she took a few more steps backwards.

Brittany scrunched her eyebrows, beating Santana to the punch, "Where are you going? Practice is this way?" The blonde pointed over her shoulder, the opposite direction Quinn was heading.

"I'm...um... gonna stop by the yearbook room really quick."

"Why?" Santana asked harshly. "You quit that club like half a year ago."

Quinn looked in the direction that her best friend was standing in but didn't really quite look at her. She finally acknowledged Santana as she pointed over her shoulder in the direction she was trying to disappear in. "Yea...I...I just want to see if they need extra help finalizing the layout and stuff."

Santana continued to glare at her friend. Of course she would bail instead of explaining what the hell was going on. "Why now?"

Brittany nudged Santana gently. "Well because this is their busiest time of the year San, duh. Yearbooks!"

Santana's eyes hadn't left Quinn's. The blonde finally let her's meet the brunette's. She could see how angry Santana was, she was all but shooting steam from her ears. It made Quinn's heart ache. She hated that she had made her that mad. She hated it even more because behind Santana's apparent anger were many insecurities, hurt and betrayal. The blonde couldn't look at her friend anymore, she looked back down towards the brunette's feet and shrugged her shoulders. "I've been thinking about it...I don't know... I just think it might be something I might want to pick up again. I love taking pictures and whatnot."

"Awesome," Brittany smiled. "I wish I was good at that stuff."

Quinn just nodded her head simply as she turned away from her friends. "I'll see you guys later for practice." She began walking down the hallway slowly with the book still clutched tightly in her hand. She just needed to get to the yearbook room. She wasn't really lying about that. She really did want to join yearbook again. Anything to keep her mind busy. She needed it.

Santana's voice suddenly shouted down the hallway at her friend. "Don't lose that book!" she sneered as she watched Quinn continue to walk, pretending that she hadn't heard her last comment at all. Santana shook her head angrily. She caught Quinn in a lie point blank and here she was just running away from it instead of owning up to whatever it was she is lying about. It didn't make sense. Santana wanted to kick herself, she should have pushed to see the book more last night. She had had a feeling that the blonde was lying...she should have followed her gut. But then Quinn had made a promise...and so Santana had chosen to drop it. The brunette felt like a fire was being lit in her chest. Quinn had made her feel silly for even thinking that something was wrong, and yet she was lying, the WHOLE time. As much as Santana wanted to be purely angry, she couldn't help but feel worry and dread. Why had Quinn lied about something so trivial? Santana thought back to where the lie first started. Rachel.

Boo had said something about Quinn taking forever in the bathroom, and that is when Quinn said it was because she was reading that stupid vampire book. Clearly that couldn't have been true, Santana scoffed at herself. She had just seen the exchange of the book right before her eyes in the hallway minutes ago. Santana squinted her eyes as she tried to piece everything together as her and Brittany began to walk to Cheerios practice in silence. If Quinn wasn't reading in the bathroom then what was she doing? Why was Rachel concerned with how long Quinn had spent in the bathroom? Was it really that long of a time? What was happening? What was Quinn hiding? She was missing something.

Santana felt the confusing mixture of anger and worry fire within her with every step she took away from her best friend towards the practice field. She was missing something, but she sure as hell was going to figure it out.

...

**A/N: Thank you all again for your continued support. I will try my best to update as soon as I am able to. With the holidays coming up I'm not sure if I will get to post or not before so HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone! I absolutely LOVE when you leave your thoughts...so please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello! I wanted to give a quick shout out to Croque, tinygleek, and CarmellaD'Winter for your reviews for the last chapter. It means a lot. After working so hard on these chapters it is great to get some feedback and hear your thoughts. I appreciate it tremendously! You guys rock! Thanks to all my readers! Sorry ahead of time if there are any typos! I'm posting this as I run out of the door to work so that you all can have a new chapter for your Saturday! Thanks again!**

Chapter 3

Quinn was sitting at the kitchen island when Santana got home from picking Rachel up from school. The blonde pretended to be absorbed in her Anatomy textbook when the sisters entered the kitchen.

"Hi Quinnie! Look what I got today!" Rachel said skipping up to the side of the island Quinn was sitting at.

The blonde hesitantly looked up from her book towards the eight year old. She let her eyes nonchalantly glance over to where she knew her best friend was standing to see what type of mood she was in now. All throughout practice Santana's body language had told her that she was infuriated. Now wasn't any different. Santana slammed her backpack down on the chair with a thud. The girls hadn't exchanged words since Quinn ran off to join the yearbook team again. The brunette met Quinn's eyes with her unsubtle glance causing Quinn to quickly dart her vision towards the smaller girl at her side.

Quinn forced a smile to her face. "What is it boo?"

Rachel shoved a piece of paper into the blonde's face with a big smile. "My project on Abraham Lincoln got me accepted into Young Authors!"

Quinn's smile became genuine as she looked at the certificate. She didn't really know what Young Authors was, if it was a club at school or a nationally recognized award or an after school program, but she didn't really feel like asking the young brunette because she didn't really feel like talking. "That is awesome, Rach. Good job." Quinn handed the paper back to Rachel. The blonde refused to look away from her pseudo little sister because she could feel Santana's eyes practically burning a hole into her skin.

Rachel beamed up at Quinn. "I think I'm going to become an author when I grow up."

Quinn looked back at her textbook and picked up her pencil to act like she was going to be enthralled with her studies. "Do it," she responded to the younger girl with a shrug as she squinted at the ridiculously tiny print the book had. Quinn looked up at the top of the page and frowned. She wasn't even looking at the right chapter. The book was open on the endocrine system. She shrugged her shoulders at herself. Did it really matter? She wasn't really reading it anyway.

"If I write a book will you read it Quinnie?" Rachel asked innocently.

The question made Quinn cringe. The slamming of the refrigerator door made both of the girls jump. Quinn looked up from her book towards the refrigerator. Santana was shaking her head back and forth as her breathing intensified with loud sighs. "Right," the brunette sneered sarcastically.

"Why are you in such a bad mood today? Jeez!" Rachel scoffed at her sister.

Santana's eyes didn't leave Quinn's. She wanted her best friend to know how mad and upset she was at her. She wanted Quinn to know that she was hurt by the fact that she had lied straight to her face. "Ask Quinn," she told Rachel icily as she squinted her eyes at the blonde.

Quinn's shoulders slumped at Santana's angry tone. "Santana..." she said softly, silently begging her friend to not bring up everything with Rachel in the room.

Rachel turned towards Quinn. "What did you do?" she asked innocently as she watched the two older girls continue to glare at each other.

Quinn hesitantly looked away from her best friend and down at Rachel. She began to chew her lip. She didn't know what to say. All throughout practice she had tried to come up with a valid reason to back her lie that she had started the previous night at dinner. She tried to think of something that would make everything add up, but she had failed. The blonde shrugged her shoulders at Rachel who was waiting patiently for an answer. "I didn't do anything, boo -"

Santana cut Quinn off when she slammed her hand down on the island. "Fine, Quinn. Fine." She began to storm out of the room as she felt tears form in her angry eyes. She shouted over her shoulder. "I'll be in my room."

Quinn watched her friend disappear out of sight and heard her harsh footsteps on the stairs finally fade away before her bedroom door slammed shut. Quinn closed her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose. The blonde had no idea how she was going to get out of this one. Eventually Santana's anger would subside enough for her to come bombard her with questions demanding to know the truth. Whenever that happened she had to be ready with an excuse, and a damn good one at that.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked with an unsure voice.

Quinn opened her eyes and looked at the young girl. She sighed. "It's okay, Rach. We just...got into a small fight at cheerleading..." Quinn trailed off. That was enough of an excuse right? Quinn wanted to kick herself...here she was lying again about a lie so that she wouldn't have to admit that she lied. Quinn pinched her nose again. Even her thoughts were confusing her.

"Small?" Rachel mumbled carefully.

A loud crash followed by multiple curse words could be heard from upstairs. Rachel jumped at the sudden noise before she looked at Quinn questioningly. "Rach..." Quinn started as she looked past the short girl towards the direction of the stairs. The blonde knew that she needed to go check on her friend, but she couldn't make her feet move. Another loud bang could be heard. It sounded like Santana was upstairs destroying her room. Shit. Quinn looked back at the eight year old. "Just sit here and finish your homework okay?"

Rachel looked at Quinn before slowly nodding, deciding that now wasn't a good time to ask anymore questions. She hadn't seen her sister this mad since that time she let...the bad man...into their house. "Okay," she said simply as she pulled herself up onto the stool and swung her backpack around onto the island's counter. Rachel sighed heavily. She hated when she thought about the bad man. It always made her feel crappy. She hated him for what he did to her sister. She hated him for making her sisters life harder even know that he was in jail. The eight year old watched silently as Quinn took a few deep breaths of her own before walking calmly out of the room towards the front stairs.

...

Santana angrily slammed her frames back onto her nightstand. Her toe was pulsating. She had stormed into her room so fast she somehow rammed her foot into the night stand that laid beside her bed which sent it toppling over along with everything that sat on top of it. Her breathing was heavy. She slammed another frame onto the flat surface. The brunette shook her head at herself. "Stupid ass fucking piece of shit."

"What did the frame do to you?" Quinn's voice suddenly filled her room.

Santana's hand froze on the last frame that she had put down. She took a deep breath in attempt to calm her emotions since they were currently all over the place. "Get out, Quinn," she spoke sharply at the blonde without even turning around to face her.

The room was met with silence. No one moved. No one spoke.

The door finally shut. Santana let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She attempted to relax her shoulders only to feel an ache in the muscles in her neck. She had been gripping her muscles so hard that she had crazy amounts of tension there now. "Fuck," she breathed out quietly as she rolled her head in circles to ease the tension in her neck.

The brunette stood up from the kneeling position she was previously in and turned around to sit on her bed. She froze when she saw her best friend leaning against the closed door. Santana let out a heavy sigh as she sat on her bed. "I thought I told you to get out."

"San..." Quinn pushed off the door and took a few steps closer to her best friend.

Santana shook her head. "If you aren't going to tell me the truth, then I am not interested in hearing anything you have to say."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Why am I being like this!?" Santana mocked her friend. She stood up from her bed quickly, she had too much adrenaline running through her veins to sit down right now. "You've got to be freaking kidding me, Quinn." Santana through her arms up in front of her. "You lied to me!" Santana knew that the words sounded ridiculous coming out of her mouth. If she took a minute to step back and think about how she was acting in this moment, she would feel immature and insane. But she couldn't take a step back, not right now. Her emotions were in charge of her right now. This type of thing seemed to happen when she would get worked up about anything since she was...raped. She shook the thought from her head quickly and focused on her best friend again. "You are supposed to be my person. You promised!" She pointed at Quinn. "You...you..."

Quinn stared at her best friend. She could see the anger loud and clear...but the hurt was slowly making itself known as well. Quinn waited for Santana to continue.

Santana shook her head and slumped back down to her bed as she rubbed her forehead. "I told you. I told you everything about..."

Quinn furrowed her brows. Santana was talking about her rape. Yes she had eventually told Quinn everything...but she had lied at the beginning too. Quinn took a step towards her friend. "San, you only told me everything because I had to pull it out of you." Quinn was feeling slightly annoyed. She couldn't believe her friend was trying to compare their situations. Especially because somehow Santana must have gotten her memory of how everything came out distorted.

"That is so not fair.-"

Quinn shook her head as she stood in front of her best friend, her voice growing stronger. "I told you about my dad. You knew...you knew everything." She shook her head again. "You wouldn't have told me if I didn't continue to push you for the real answer that night."

Santana threw her hands up in the air, choosing to skate over the topic of her rape. They weren't here to discuss that. This was about Quinn. This was about Quinn hiding something and lying about it. "So what? I have to keep pushing you until I get an answer? Is that what you are saying?"

The blonde felt like the wind was kicked from her lungs harshly. She couldn't talk about this. She didn't want to. She couldn't even think about it. "It's not...it's not the same thing..." her voice was quieter than it had been previously. "Don't you dare." She couldn't believe that Santana was comparing... she shook her head as she looked down at the carpeted floor. "I wanted to do this. This was MY bad choice. YOU didn't have a choice. I did. It was me. It was ALL me." Quinn couldn't control the tears that fell down her cheeks at her admission. She felt herself falling into the hole that she had tried so hard to avoid since buying those goddamn tests at the pharmacy. She looked up and remembered that Santana was standing there.

The brunette was eyeing her friend curiously. Santana was studying the words that had just fallen from her best friend's mouth. She was trying to piece them together so they would make sense, but the blonde was being so cryptic. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something she was cut off.

"The answer to your question, Santana, is: no. You don't need to push me to get my answer." Quinn pulled herself together as best as she could. She refused to fall into that endless pit. She wiped her face with the back of her hands as she continued to talk. "I don't need to tell you anything because nothing is wrong."

Santana's jaw dropped open. Quinn was pulling on her infamous 'mask'. She had started to open up and say whatever it is that she was going to say and then it was like the car hit a brick wall. Quinn was picking up her shoulders, standing taller and wiping her face of any evidence of tears. It was what the blonde had always done to hide her pain and sadness from Shelby year after year in order to keep her father's abuse a secret. The brunette couldn't believe that she was putting the mask on with her, her best friend.

Santana wasn't going to have it. She picked up her own shoulders. "What were you doing in the bathroom then?"

Quinn let out a frustrated groan. "Nothing! Jesus!"

The brunette scoffed. "I find that hard to believe."

"I don't understand why all of a sudden my time in the bathroom is being monitored and timed." Quinn shook her head as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Santana pointed at Quinn angrily. "It's not! But the number of times you've been lying to me lately, sure as hell are being monitored."

Quinn felt her shoulders sag. She could see how upset her best friend was. She hated herself for making Santana so worked up. It wasn't her intention to have Santana find out that she was lying in the first place. She hated it. "San -"

"No!" Santana snapped cutting off her friend. "I want an answer. Something is up. I deserve a straight answer."

Quinn quietly shook her head. "I don't have one for you..."

"Bull shit!"

"Santana -"

Santana cut Quinn off again, knowing that she was just going to give another cryptic saying about how nothing is wrong and she lied for no reason. It was bull shit and she wasn't going to deal with it. The angry brunette took a step closer to her person. "It has to be something. I get lying to my sister and my mom to cover up something...but you lied to ME!" Santana pointed harshly at her own chest. "Your person. We never lie to each other... or at least I thought that we never did...but clearly I've mistaken on that one."

Quinn's brows furrowed. She didn't want Santana to think that she had lied about a lot of things before, because it simply wasn't true. She didn't mean to do any of this. "I didn't mean to lie to you."

"Well, you did," Santana snapped back harshly. "I came up to your room and asked you about that stupid ass book and you looked me in the eyes and told me that you were reading it and that nothing was wrong. But then today...Brittany enlightens me that you haven't even started reading it!" She shook her head and gave a sarcastic laugh as she felt angry hurt tears prick at her eyes. "So that brings me back to the part of last night where you told my mom and sister that you were in the bathroom for so long because you got caught up in a good part in your Twilight book." The brunette pointed at Quinn. "The book you didn't even have in your possession until today. So... if you didn't have the book then what were you doing in the bathroom that was so secretive that you had to lie to ME about it?"

Quinn sighed. She knew that Santana would tie everything together. Her silent anger during practice and the ride home had given her plenty of time to think everything through. The blonde felt her eyes water as her shoulders deflated. Her mind traveled back to the previous day when she was sitting on the cold bathroom floor staring at those three positive tests. She slowly shook her head. She couldn't. She couldn't say it because it wasn't really happening. Not to her. This wasn't going to be another thing that happened to her. She couldn't tell Santana because doing that would make it real, and she didn't want it to be real. It wasn't an option. She wanted very much for all of this to just go away. It was so easy for Finn to walk away... it should be like that for her too. It isn't fair. It needs to be fair.

Quinn's complete silence and introversion forced Santana to sigh heavily in frustration. the brunette felt crazy. She felt completely crazy right now for digging her nose this much into her friend's life. Santana paused her thoughts before shaking her head. This wasn't just any friend, Santana corrected herself. It was her best friend. Her person. Quinn was family to her, and something was wrong, the brunette just knew it. She had to know why. As she looked at the blonde standing distraughtly in front of her she couldn't help but feel the worry in her expand through her body.

"Did you pass out in the bathroom?" Santana asked calmly, breaking the silence.

Quinn rolled her eyes as she was snapped out of her daze. "No." Her voice was quiet.

"Well then was Finn in there or something?"

"God. No." Quinn sighed as she wiped her eyes to prevent the tears from falling.

Santana frowned as she thought of more of the scenarios she had thought of earlier during practice as to why her best friend could have possibly lied to her. "Were you doing drugs? Are you taking drugs now?"

Quinn's head snapped up. "Absolutely not." She shook her head strongly.

Santana eyed her friend cautiously. She thought about what she wanted to ask next and as soon as she did she could feel her heart begin to race in her chest. She didn't want to ask the question but she felt like she absolutely had to. It was the only thing left that she could think of that would explain Quinn's odd behavior and her spending a long time in the bathroom. It was the only explanation Santana could think of that would be something Quinn would lie about directly. The brunette bit her lip then took a deep breath. "Are you...are you... cutting?" Santana looked down at the blonde's uncovered wrists. She let out a small breath of relief when she didn't see anything, only to have her next breath freeze in her chest as soon as her next thought hit her. She could be cutting somewhere else. Quinn is a smart girl, if she was hurting herself she would do it somewhere she knew wouldn't be seen. Somewhere she knew her clothes would hide.

"Cutting?" Quinn asked the now silent room. She repeated Santana's word out loud to no one in particular. She was trying to get her brain to wrap around the concept of her best friend's question. Quinn furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the brunette. She saw that Santana was focused elsewhere and followed her friend's line of vision down towards her own wrists.

She shook her head violently and crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. "Seriously? No way, San. You know I would never!" Quinn pointed at her best friend. "I would NEVER," she repeated with more emphasis as she looked Santana square in the eyes. She couldn't believe her best friend's accusation. It was making her heart pound angrily in her chest.

Santana put her hands up in front of her and quickly shook her head. "Then what is it Quinn?" She angrily smacked herself in her forehead with her open palm. "I've been wracking my brain all practice AND the ride home!"

"You should know more than anyone that sometimes feelings are beyond words..Or does that just apply to you?" Lion Quinn was out and roaring, the blonde thought internally. She shook her head. "God, San. I thought you knew me. We've known each other basically our entire lives. My life is a never ending sequence of events that reminds me that I suck. I don't need to cut myself to ease that pain. It's dull and it will never go away." She shook her head. "But thanks for thinking that I would need something else."

Santana deflates. "That's not... I didn't..."

Quinn felt raw and out of control in that moment and for the first time the thing she never talked about became an excuse … to camouflage the real elephant in the room. "I can't talk to you about how my feelings make me feel! Oh poor, Quinn, her parents kicked her out and her mother chose her husband over her daughter. Not for love but because of a twisted allegiance." The blonde put her hands in the air. "I'm hiding in the damn bathroom because if I'm in my room or wanting to curl up and hide, I can't. I spent my life alone, San. I've always had you, yes, but sometimes I just need space to sort through things... And... And... I just need space... So... I hid in the bathroom because I thought it would be better than hiding in my bed..."

Quinn was breathing heavily unsure of why she said what she said and she couldn't even come close to grasping the feelings that she felt. They felt like they had exploded from her like a volcano and now the lava was destroying the village people... or in this case her words were destroying Santana.

The blonde pinched the bridge of her nose. "I …. I'm sorry, San. I just... You know me. I love you and you love me but you know that I came to you in pieces. Let me be in pieces for a bit before we put each other back together." She sighed and could feel her breath shaking. "I …. I don't ever want you to compare what happened to you …."

Santana's head suddenly shot up and met her eyes with a glare. "We're not talking about that. You can't..." She bit her lip. "You're right. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said quickly. It felt like the right thing to say.

Santana shook her head. "Don't... I just... I'm sorry too... I didn't know." The brunette shook her head. She wanted to kick herself for being such a pushy bitch. She looked at her best friend's face and saw the sadness that covered it since her outburst. Santana let out a heavy sigh. "I didn't know that you were feeling this way again...about... everything." Santana internally rolled her eyes at herself. Why couldn't she think of the right thing to say in this moment? Quinn's feelings about her homelife, her parents...her dad especially, were very complicated. Santana knew that.

"I always feel this way, San." Quinn suddenly felt so full and tired as she talked about one of the things that she rarely ever discussed. Bringing it to the forefront meant thinking about every single insult her father had ever thrown her way. It brought up every punishment she had to endure and every cruel word she heard him speak about her. The feeling was almost as bad as her secret she was hiding from everyone. "A dad is supposed to love you... unconditionally... not just toss you out like yesterday's newspaper."

"Quinn..." Santana started but was quickly stopped.

Quinn shook her head. "It's fine, San. I just...I'm gonna go lay down for a little." Quinn started to turn around but then paused as she looked directly into her best friend's eyes. "I am sorry for lying to you Santana." Quinn's apology meant so much more than Santana knew. She knew that her best friend would take that statement as something that was in the past. Santana wouldn't know that what Quinn really meant was that she was still lying to her and for that she was truly sorry. It made the blonde feel horrible so with that she turned on her heel and exited the room. She had to lay down. She had to escape to a dream world because this one was full of too many things that she didn't want to think about.

...

A few hours later Santana entered the family room to find her little sister sprawled out on the couch with a bag of carrots resting on her stomach. The TV was on and the tiny brunette seemed to be lost and enthralled in whatever educational history show that was on it as she absentmindedly chewed on a carrot. Santana couldn't help but smile at her little sister.

She walked up and plopped down on the opposite end of the couch near her sister's feet and looked at the television screen. It was talking about Christopher Columbus and the Bermuda Triangle. Santana rolled her eyes. What eight year old would willingly choose to watch this crap over regular TV? Only her sister. She chuckled at herself and looked over at the zoned out brunette.

"Ma is gonna be mad when she finds out you were eating in here. You know the rules, boo."

Rachel turned her head away from the television to look at her sister as she stuffed the rest of the carrot into her mouth. "Mama isn't home...she won't know."

Santana smiled at Rachel. "In theory you would be right with that statement... the only problem is..." Santana pointed at her sister. "There are carrot chunks everywhere on your shirt and I'm guessing on the couch cushions under you too."

Rachel furrowed her brows at her sister before looking down at her shirt. "Aw maaaaan!" she sighed as she sat up and watched all the carrot splinters that had somehow missed her mouth fall onto the floor and the couch. She looked back up at the TV before looking back at the now crumb filled carpet. "Now I'm gonna miss my show!"

Santana chuckled at her sister. She stood up from the couch just as Rachel did. "I'll help ya out."

Minutes later the two girls were done picking the orange pieces out of the carpet and the two of them were now sitting in the kitchen at the island. Santana had gotten a paper plate and put ranch dressing on it as she plopped the ranch covered carrot into her mouth she heard her sister make a noise.

"Gross." Rachel said with a face as she watched her sister eat.

"You are such a weird kid. Who doesn't like ranch?"

"Me," Rachel stated simply. "It defeats the purpose of eating the carrot. You cover the healthy snack with fattening sauce."

"But it is delicious."

Rachel made another face in response as she ate another carrot. A few minutes of silent munching went by. "Hey, sissy?"

"What's up Boo?" Santana looked over at her little sister.

"Are you still mad at Quinn?"

Santana sighed then turned on her stool to face Rachel. "I'm sorry I was in such a bad mood earlier, Rachel. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. It was the wrong thing to do."

"It's okay." Rachel shrugged. "But...are you still mad at Quinn?" she asked again.

Santana let out a sigh. "No... I shouldn't have been mad at her either. I messed up."

"How did you mess up?"

"I jumped to a conclusion about something... well kind of..." Santana shook her head. "Anyway, I was really wrong and I upset her."

Rachel cocked her head to the side, attempting to understand her sister's response. "Wait, so Quinn is mad now?"

Santana shook her head again and let out a small groan. She was confusing her little sister with her halfass replies. Get it together, she scolded herself. "She isn't mad. Nobody is mad at anybody anymore."

"Then how come she isn't down here eating carrots with us?"

Santana turned on her stool back to face the counter. She sighed at her sister's 21 questions.

"Rachel..." Santana reached for a carrot and started flipping it between her fingers. "She just wanted some time to herself so she is going to be in her room for a while."

"Oh." Rachel replied quietly, still not 100% sure if she really just got any straight answers to any of her questions she had just asked her sister.

Santana finished chewing the carrot before looking at her little sister who seemed to be lost in thought. "Hey, the next time Quinn is in the bathroom for a long time...don't make a big deal about it okay?"

Rachel made a weird face at her sister. "But it was weird -"

Santana cut off Rachel before she could continue. "It might seem weird to you now but trust me it isn't okay? It's just a girl thing...when you are older you will understand."

Rachel let out a huff. "I hate it when you guys tell me that I need to be older to get things. I get things now."

Santana felt a small smile tug on her lips at her little sister's miniature hissy fit. She reached over and ran her fingers through Rachel's hair. She pulled the younger girl's head closer to her and planted a small kiss on the top of the eight year old's head. "I love you, boo." Santana pulled away and reached for another carrot, dipping it in ranch dressing before popping it into her mouth. Silence encompassed the room again.

"Hey sissy?" Rachel asked breaking the silence yet again with the same two worded question as before.

Santana let out a small laugh. "Yes Rach?"

"You think maybe me, you, Quinnie, Mama and maybe even Woowoo could go to the bounce house again soon?"

Santana furrowed her eyebrows. "You mean the place we had your last birthday at?"

"Yea. Remember when Quinn worked there? We went all the time!" Rachel's face lit up with a huge smile at the memories of the trampoline clad building and the many visits they made.

Santana watched as her little sister's face lit up. She didn't understand how jumping on trampolines for hours at a time was considered fun for the eight year old but she could tell just by the look on her face how much it meant to her. Santana smiled. "Sure, boo. Even if we can't get Ma and Woowoo to go...me, you and Quinn will make it a point to go this weekend. How does that sound?"

"Awesome!" Rachel jumped up and down on her stool with excitement.

"Only under one condition." Santana interrupted her little sister's joyous dance.

Rachel froze and looked at Santana with a frown. "What...?"

Santana smiled then looked down at the plate that held the puddle of ranch dressing on it. "You have to eat ONE carrot with ranch!"

...

Shelby walked into the back door of the house with her best friend and co-practice owner, Ruth. The two women had arms full of groceries that they struggled with all the way to the kitchen's island.

"I love how you always leave out the part that you need to go grocery shopping before you kidnap me and tell me there is going to be a home cooked meal." Ruth said as she unloaded five bags full of food from one arm.

Shelby rolled her eyes at her friend. "I hardly kidnapped you. You drove separate and followed me to the store."

"It should tell you how much I really want some of this home cook meal you promised. Either that or how great of a friend I am." Ruth smiled as she winked and started unloading the food from the bags.

"Yea yea yea," Shelby laughed.

As Ruth unloaded the boxes of cereal from the bags they got stuck on the handles. With a frustrated sigh she tore the bag away from the box and threw it on the ground. "I can't stand that you use those stupid recyclable reusable bags! They are so annoying!"

Before Shelby could answer Rachel cut her off as she walked into the kitchen. "Woowoo!" The eight year old smiled brightly as she ran up and gave her godmother a big hug. As soon as Rachel saw that there was a reusable bag tossed onto the floor she frowned and pulled away from Ruth. "Did you get in a fight with the bag again?"

Shelby couldn't help but laugh out loud, getting a deserved playful glare from her friend in response.

Ruth stood up straight from the hug she was previously in as she grabbed another box of food and placed it in the cabinet. She turned around and faced her youngest god daughter. "I'm not a fan of those bags. I prefer plastic, boo."

"You aren't a fan of saving the environment?" Rachel asked bluntly, not noticing her mother's big grin and silent laugh at the question.

"I save lives. It washes out in the karma scale." Ruth smiled then ran her fingers through Rachel's hair before grabbing an arm full of fruit to put in the refrigerator.

Rachel frowned. "That is not how it works. Did you know that plastic bags take 15 to 1000 years to break down -"

"Rachel where the heck do you learn all these things from?" Santana asked as she walked into the room. She walked past her sister and gave her mother a kiss before walking over to her godmother and wrapping her in a big hug.

Rachel frowned again with her sister's sudden rude interruption. "Google," she answered honestly.

Santana rested her head onto Ruth's shoulder as she stood next to the woman. "Mom, I told you we need to put blocks on the computer she uses. She is probably watching birds and fish being suffocated by plastic bags."

"No I don't!" Rachel said with a stomp of her foot.

Shelby turned around from the now full fridge. "Girls," she warned. "Let's not get into this again please. Santana, stop antagonizing your little sister. Rachel, don't stomp your foot at your sister. Let's be civilized please."

Santana picked her head up from Ruth's shoulder and walked to one of the stools, pulling herself up onto it and resting elbows on the island's countertop. She watched as her little sister did the same thing, plopping down next to her. Santana smiled and then looked at her mother. "So what is for dinner?"

"That's what I'm sayin'!" Ruth said with a laugh as she looked over at her best friend waiting for her response.

Shelby smiled at her two daughters and then her friend. "I was thinking that I would make chicken parmesan. Is that good with everyone?"

"Yum!" Rachel said as she bounced on her stool with a smile.

Shelby laughed. "Okay, good. I'll start that now, it should be ready in 45 minutes if no one bothers me."

"Are you saying we are bothering you right now?"

Shelby playfully glared at her oldest daughter. "Santana," she warned.

The young brunette put her arms up playfully defending herself. "I'm kidding. I'm kidding." She laughed at the look on her mother's face.

Ruth joined in the laughing as she walked around the island and stood directly behind Santana. She pulled her goddaughter into a hug and rested her head on Santana's shoulder as they watched Shelby turn toward the fridge and pull out the ingredients needed for dinner.

Santana tilted her head and leaned into the comforting hug. Since her attack, her godmother had become more touchy feely lovey dovey when it came to her than she had been previously. At first it annoyed the teenage brunette but now it was something she had grown to absolutely love and even need. Being wrapped in her godmother's arms was something that let her feel completely safe and loved. It reminded her that even after learning of all the details of that night and then the second attempted attack, that nothing changed how the older woman felt about her and that was something she would love until she was old and wrinkled.

Shelby broke Santana's thoughts. "Where is Quinn?"

Santana felt herself deflate as she thought about her and Quinn's "fight" that had taken place hours ago upstairs. She felt guilty for pushing Quinn so much and making her so upset. The blonde hadn't left her bedroom since they had finished talking. Santana sighed. "She's uh...she is in her bed."

Shelby frowned as she looked at her daughter. Something wasn't being said. She could tell by the look on her face and her sudden change in body language. She looked over at her youngest daughter who was remaining silent on her stool. A silent Rachel wasn't ever good news either. "She is in her bed? Sleeping already?" Shelby looked at the time. It was only seven o'clock. Her frown deepened.

Ruth unwrapped her arms from around Santana and stood up behind the girl. "Is everything okay?"

She didn't bother turning around to acknowledge her godmother's question. Santana slowly shrugged her shoulders as she looked down at the counter top instead of at her mother's questioning eyes.

Santana's silence made Shelby's heart begin to race. She couldn't read the face of her teenage daughter and that was scaring her even more. Her mind suddenly raced over, what felt like, hundreds of bad scenerios that Quinn could have been caught up in. Was she hurt? Did someone hurt her? Did she get into trouble? Shelby forced her brain to stop thinking the worst possible situations and focused on her youngest daughter who was sitting quietly on the stool staring at her with big eyes.

Shelby looked back at Santana and saw the sadness and worry that seemed to be seeping from every pore. She looked behind her daughter at her best friend who was nodding her head in Rachel's direction. Shelby frowned but then instantly understood what Ruth was silently saying. Clearly something was wrong, something that they needed to discuss with Santana. By the look of Santana's body language and face it probably wasn't something that her eight year old should be in the room for. Shelby forced herself to continue to breathe. Was something horrible happening to her family again? She shook her head. Stop it, she scolded herself.

The mother looked at Rachel as she pulled herself together. "Rachel?" The eight year old nodded at her waiting patiently for whatever she was going to say. "Can you go into the next room for a minute please baby? I need to talk -"

Hearing the worried tone in her mother's voice forced Santana to snap her head up and look at Shelby. She frowned as Shelby began to talk and instantly shook her head. She could tell where her mother's mind had instantly gone and she had to stop it before it grew any more darker. "No mom," she interrupted her mother. "It's nothing like that." Santana looked at Rachel who was now looking at her. "She can stay."

Ruth walked around the island so she could stand next to Shelby, in front of Santana so she could look at her as she spoke.

Santana gave a small sigh then continued. "Quinn has just been thinking about her family a lot again... I guess." She looked down at the granite counter tops and let out a deep breath. "I...I didn't know...and I pushed her too much and so she got upset earlier. She's been in her room ever since."

Before anyone could speak Rachel interjected. "I don't get why Quinn gets sad about her mean daddy." The eight year old pointed at Santana as she looked at her mother and godmother. "And her sister isn't like Santana... she hasn't talked to her in months. And her mama doesn't care... so why should Quinn?"

The kitchen was silent for a few long seconds as everyone in it tried to process Rachel's outburst. Ruth was the first one to find her words. She looked at her youngest goddaughter with a sad smile. "Rachel, you are lucky enough to have a mommy who loves you very very much and would do anything for you.-"

Rachel tilted her head and cut Ruth off. "But Quinn has my mama too. She has all of us."

Santana shook her head. "It's not the same, Rach."

"Yea huh," Rachel said as she nodded her head.

Ruth sighed. "Boo, Quinn knows that she has all of us. We all love her very much just like we all love you very much, but... I'm sure Quinn wishes sometimes things with her own mommy and daddy worked out differently."

The eight year old shook her head. "But then she wouldn't live with us if they were nice."

Santana sighed. She could see that her sister wasn't understanding what they were saying. Which was understandable since she was only eight. Santana gently placed her hand on her sister's shoulder. "It's complicated, Rachel."

"It always is," Rachel grumbled

Shelby nodded her head as she backed away from the island. "I'm going to go check on her."

"Mom," Santana protested as she looked away from Rachel and followed her mother with her eyes. She shook her head as her mother paused at the archway leading out of the kitchen and into the hallway. "She...she just wants some time alone. I...I don't think her mom has returned her call in over a week either so I'm sure that has added to it. She just wants to have some 'me' time. Just...just give her a little space...Please?" she begged her mother.

Shelby tilted her head as she looked at her daughter. She understood the importance of their secrets between the two best friends and she was very proud of Santana for confiding in her and telling her the truth that Quinn was having a hard time; however, she couldn't not go check on Quinn. Not when the young girl clearly needed to hear that she was loved. Shelby shook her head with a sigh. "I'm sorry Santana but I love her too much. I am her legal guardian now. I'm going to go check in on her. I can't leave her be when I know she is upset. You know that."

Santana sighed. "I know..."

Shelby looked at her deflated daughter. She walked back over to her and gave her a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "Thank you for telling me," she whispered quietly to the teenager before turning on her heel and quickly exiting the room in the direction of the stairs.

Santana turned around on her stool and propped her elbows up on the countertop again to rest her chin in her hands. She heard Rachel sigh next to her and saw out of the corner of her eye that she mimicked her movements. She forgot that she always had an audience when her sister was around. Santana looked up at Ruth who was still standing across the island from the two girls. She gave the older woman a weak smile then shrugged her shoulders. She hated that she had upset Quinn. She hated that Quinn was upset to begin with. All of this sucked.

Ruth looked at the quiet girls sitting across from her. She hated the silence that coated the room. The older brunette cleared her throat as she looked towards the clock again. "Well, I'm thinkin this means we are having sandwiches for dinner girls, because that is all I am up for making. Grilled cheese sound okay to everyone?" She smiled at her goddaughters. She needed to get them fed. Life goes on.

...

Quinn sat at her desk staring at the blank surface numbly. She had been sitting here like this for at least an hour. She had sat down in the desk chair after her legs got tired from standing by her door for over an hour. Quinn was feeling full from her unexpected rant to Santana. The blonde's confession of her feelings about her family had been hard to say aloud, let alone hear and process. Her family had so easily gotten rid of her, and everyday was a battle living with that knowledge. However, it was a silent battle. One that she tried really hard not to bring up, one that she tried to snuff out as much as she could by surrounding herself with the Lopez family that so openly welcomed her and loved her year after year, and now on a more permanent basis. Still, knowing that Mama Lopez didn't have to fight that hard to get her father to sign over legal guardianship made her constantly question why she wasn't good enough.

Typically it was something she could mute. Typically she could focus on conversations about Grey's Anatomy or life and their hopes and dreams with Santana or Sunday dinner conversations with the family or Rachel's rants about being Green and saving the extinct animals or Ruth's sarcastic jokes and 'back in my day' stories. All those things usually kept her mind from wandering too deeply into her personal sorrows surrounding the hell that was her family life. But somehow, that thing that she could typically mute came out on full blast when she yelled at Santana. Her best friend kept pushing and pushing and was getting closer and closer to figuring out the real truth about the newest shame in her life, she had to say something. It was like someone unclicked her mute button and it all came falling out extremely loud.

Now all she felt was full. It was exhausting. Memories of her father filled her mind. The fact that she had tried on numerous occasions to get her sister to meet up with her only to be blown off each time stabbed at her heart. Her own mother seemed to be too busy cleaning the house to even return a simple phone call. It hurt. But what hurt most of all was that that wasn't her only problem. There was another problem now, one that she couldn't wrap her mind around. One that was so bad, she had to unleash her inner woes about her family life in order to cover up. This problem was so big that she would rather think about her terrible childhood than contemplate what the next step should be. It was easier to lie to her Lopez family than to tell them the truth because she couldn't even accept the truth herself.

Turns out that her father had been right all of those years. She was a disappointment. She was stupid and she was going to amount to nothing. A sudden knock forced Quinn to be pulled from her loud thoughts.

Shelby knocked gently on Quinn's closed door, after waiting for a beat she opened the door gently and stepped inside the dimly lit room. As soon as she saw Quinn sitting at her desk she could see the hurt that covered the poor girl's entire being. Shelby felt her shoulders drop at the sight, but she quickly pulled herself together and approached the silent teen.

"Hey sweetie," Shelby kissed the top of Quinn's head.

"She told you." Quinn said, refusing to look up at Mama Lopez. The statement wasn't really a question, it was more of an assumption. The look on her best friend's mother's face told her that Santana had told her why she was closed off in her room.

Shelby squatted down next to the teenager. She nodded her head simply and gave the girl a small sad smile. "You okay?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders and looked away from the woman's face. She couldn't continue this lie, that wasn't really a lie that covered up the real lie that she was lying about. Quinn sighed. What? Even her thoughts were confusing her. All Quinn knew was that the answer to Mama Lopez's question was: No. She was not okay. She had been okay for a few months since getting in the swing of things living at the Lopez house permanently... but now that she had an even bigger problem? No. 'Okay' was nowhere near what she was.

Quinn sighed. "Yea," she lied. Quinn paused as she quickly wondered how many lies she had told to the people she loved most the past two days. Mama Lopez cut off her internal monologue before it could carry on.

"I love you very much. I always will." Shelby said to the blonde sincerely. When Quinn didn't respond Shelby continued. "You can talk to me. You know that right? Always and about anything."

Quinn closed her eyes. Mama Lopez might as well be stabbing her repeatedly with a knife straight through her heart at this rate. Her sincerity was killing her. She didn't deserve it. Quinn looked at her best friend's mother. "I think I just need something to keep my mind busy."

Shelby nodded her head, understanding what the blonde meant. "I used to go on early morning runs in college when I was stressed out and needed to 'get away'..." Shelby trailed off as her mind caught up to her. She didn't want Quinn running by herself all the time. She looked at the blonde. "Maybe you can convince Santana to join you."

Quinn looked over at Mama Lopez with a frown. "San hates running."

Shelby couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the teens blunt statement. She nodded her head. "This is true. But I know she loves you like her own sister. She would do anything for you." At the last sentence she watched as Quinn suddenly hung her head, it tugged at her heart. The older woman continued. "It would be good to get her out of the house too. Plus...if she says 'no' then I'll kick her butt."

Quinn looked up at the adult again, this time a small smile on her face at the image Mama Lopez just put in her head. She knew the woman was kidding. Shelby would never touch one of her kids in that way. Quinn paused to consider what was suggested. Running could be good. It clears people's minds...and that is exactly what she needed. She nodded her head. "Ok...yea... maybe that is a good idea."

Shelby planted another kiss on the top of Quinn's head as she stood up. "I just want you to be happy, hunny."

Quinn starred back down at her blank desk. "I am...I mean... it's not like I'm not happy...I just..." The blonde trailed off for a few seconds before looking up at the woman who took her in. "It's complicated."

Shelby nodded her head slowly. "I understand."

...

**A/N: Alright folks. That's the chapter. I worked really hard to get this finished and up for you in a timely manner. :::pats myself on the back:::: I hope you all enjoyed it. PLEASE let me know your thoughts. If anything confused you then dont hesitate to ask! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to: beaner008, val-cb, CarmellaD'Winter, croque, Dogluvertoo, cyteach, edilsdnal, and guest. I love all of your feedback and the love that you left via reviews. They mean so much to me and even give me a few ideas here and there. **

**Alrighty gang. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update, but I hope that this long chapter was worth the wait. Please let me know what you all think.**

**Chapter 4**

The two teenage girls were sitting at the island in the kitchen before school. Quinn was finishing her last homework problem for Precalc just as Santana was slurping the last of her cereal from her bowl. The blonde looked over at her friend with a glare. "Santana."

"Hm?" Santana said as she brought her bowl back down to the counter and wiped her face with the back of her palm.

"Are you done?" Quinn pointed with her pencil at her friend's nearly empty cereal bowl.

Santana shrugged her shoulders. "Almost."

Quinn gave an audible groan. "You are ridiculous, do you HAVE to slurp your milk like that when you know I'm trying to finish this homework?"

Santana pulled her head back swiftly and gave her friend a look of disgust. "Ok, woah. Someone totally woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You have a room that has a big desk for you to sit at where you can do homework in peace. This is the kitchen. I sit here and I slurp my milk, and it is allowed BECAUSE this is the kitchen."

Before Quinn had a chance to snap back Shelby entered the kitchen with Rachel right on her tail. "Actually sissy, Mama has asked you a lot of times to not slurp your milk," Rachel quipped as she walked up to Santana and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Santana playfully glared at Rachel before turning back to her bowl of cereal and drinking the rest of the milk from the bottom of the dish. "Whatever."

Shelby rubbed Santana's back lovingly before moving to Quinn and planting a simple kiss on the top of the blonde's head on her way to the coffee pot where she poured herself a cup. The mother turned back around and watched as Santana helped Rachel open a granola bar. Shelby turned towards Quinn and watched as she closed her textbook and put it in her backpack, the older brunette noted that there was no empty bowl in front of Quinn like there was in front of Santana. She frowned. "Have you eaten breakfast Quinn?"

Quinn looked up from her backpack with a frown. She simply shook her head as she opened another compartment to put her pencil and calculator in. "I'm not really hungry."

Shelby raised her eyebrow as she took a sip from her coffee mug. "Didn't you and San wake up early and go running this morning?"

The blonde nodded her head as she met Mama Lopez's gaze. "Yep, we did two miles."

"She is insane, Mom." Santana groaned next to her best friend as she leaned her head onto Quinn's shoulder.

Rachel's mouth dropped open. "You got Sanny out of bed early to go running BEFORE school started? Again?"

Quinn looked over at her pseudo little sister with a smirk. "I sure did, boo." Her smile grew as Rachel's mouth opened further in shock.

"Woah... that is impressive. It is like...a miracle."

Santana rolled her eyes at her eight year old sister before turning back to her best friend. "This is the 8th time that you've woken me up for running."

Quinn laughed at Santana. "Are you seriously keeping count?"

"Uh...yea." Santana stated as if it was the most obvious thing to do in situations like these. Quinn rolled her eyes in response.

Shelby smiled at her girls. She knew her eldest brunette was not a morning person. She loved messing with her about it. "Eight times now huh?" She asked the room playfully. "Quinn how many times have you been?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I don't keep count," she smiled at her best friend. "I go every morning before school. It's been what...three weeks now?"

"Whatever," Santana sighed as she playfully rolled her eyes. "Over achiever crazy girl."

Rachel interrupted the teenagers. "Seven days in a week for three weeks..." she trailed off as she looked up at the ceiling, her sudden random outburst made everyone else in the room look at the young girl. Rachel nodded her head, "So seven times three..." The room watched as a smile brightened her face. She gave a small squeal of excitement. "Quinn has been running every morning for 21 days in a row now! Because seven times three is twenty one!"

Shelby laughed at Rachel's enthusiasm. "You are absolutely right sweetie. Good job, Boo."

Quinn forced a smile to her mouth, which thankfully no one noticed was fake. She couldn't manage to smile for real when Rachel's statement echoed in her brain. Had it really been that long? That much time had passed? Running really did help clear her mind just like Mama Lopez had said it would.

Santana's voice brought Quinn from her thoughts. "I don't understand how you are so smart. You are in second grade. How are you doing multiplication already?"

Rachel shrugged as she smiled at her sister. "I'm advanced."

Shelby smiled proudly at her youngest and then let out a small laugh as she looked at Santana playfully roll her eyes as she picked up her bowl and brought it to the sink to rinse out. The mother looked back over at Quinn suddenly remembering where this conversation had originally started. She straightened her mouth, "Quinn, you really should eat something."

Quinn looked at Mama Lopez before quickly looking away towards Santana and Rachel who were still quietly bickering about Rachel getting the better genes. She didn't want to eat. She couldn't bring herself to. She didn't want to risk getting nauseous, nor did she want to gain any weight. Quinn made sure she ate enough to get by, but breakfast was not something that she saw as a necessity. Not anymore. She ate when she couldn't bare the hunger pains any longer. Right now she felt fine, so there wasn't any need for food. However, the look in Mama Lopez's eyes told her that she needed to pretend to want to eat or else the older woman would become suspicious. She couldn't have anyone in the family be suspicious...not again. Lying was not something she enjoyed doing.

Quinn grabbed at the box of granola bars and pulled one from it. She waved it in the air as she pulled her backpack onto her back. "I'll eat this on my way to school." She turned towards her best friend. "San, we gotta get going. I don't wanna be late for early morning practice."

Santana rolled her eyes, "God forbid." She let out an exaggerated sigh as she pulled her backpack on and tightened the straps. "Yay more running!" she cheered sarcastically before turning towards her mother and little sister. "Alright, love you Ma! Love you Rach."

Quinn bent down and kissed the top of Rachel's head as she turned to follow Santana out of the kitchen's side door. Mama Lopez's voice rang out stopping them in their tracks. "Wait, girls! Don't forget your lunches!"

Quinn turned around in time to see the two brown paper bags that were perched on the countertop next to the key jar. How had they missed those? She watched in horror as Mama Lopez reached for the two bags. Quinn bit her lip as she watched everything pan out like it was in slow motion. She watched Mama Lopez pick up the two bags and turn towards her and Santana. Then she watched as Mama Lopez's face contorted into a frown. She watched as Santana grabbed her lunch sack from her mother oblivious of the issue that was about to arise and began to exit the room again. Quinn walked up to Mama Lopez but just as she reached her hand out to grab her bag, the older woman brought the bag into her own chest and unrolled the top to peek in to see the contents it held. Quinn wanted to smack herself for forgetting the sack. She wanted to smack herself twice as hard when she saw Mama Lopez's face as she looked up from looking into her lunch bag. She was not happy.

Shelby opens the bag to see one apple and one string cheese. She frowned. What the heck? She looked up at Quinn who was shifting her weight back and forth on her feet. "Quinn, you don't have a sandwich?"

"Oh... ya..." Quinn picked her hand up and smacked herself on her forehead. "I forgot to make one last night... I got...distracted. Crap." Quinn wanted to smack herself again. That was the lamest excuse ever. She didn't even believe in her lie but she was on the spot...and couldn't think of anything better. She sighed as she continued to look into Mama Lopez's skeptical gaze.

"Quinn?" Shelby started slowly but was quickly cut off by the young blonde.

"Crap look at the time," Quinn pointed towards the small kitchen clock in attempt to distract Mama Lopez. She didn't want the woman to start thinking about the past meals they've eaten together nor did she want her to think about how little Quinn had been eating the past couple of weeks. Quinn shook her head as the mother looked back at her. She shook her head, "I don't have time to make one..." Quinn trailed off and looked at the kitchen counter. "Can I just take the jelly and peanut butter with me? Along with a couple pieces of bread? I'll make one during lunch?"

Quinn figured that Mama Lopez wouldn't go for that and that she would just leave her be with her apple and string cheese for the day. She figured the woman would understand that the girls needed to leave or else Sue would make them run extra laps; although, Quinn wouldn't have minded. Quinn knew that the mother wouldn't let her bring the entire peanut butter and jelly jars to school. It was just a quick suggestion the teen could come up with on the fly in order to make it look like she was honestly trying to eat and had genuinely forgotten to make the sandwich. However, Quinn didn't expect Mama Lopez to respond the way she did.

Shelby shook her head. "No... here, hold on a minute." The older brunette reached for her purse and shuffled through it until she pulled a $10 from her wallet. She held her hand out to quinn. "Just buy the school lunch today okay? I want the change back, it's only $3 right?"

Quinn slowly nodded her head. Shit. "Yea...it's only three dollars."

Shelby watched as the blonde hesitated before slowly taking the bill from her hand. "You can get a drink too. Bring me back six dollars." She eyed Quinn suspiciously.

Quinn nodded her head as she looked at the bill in her palm. "Are you sure? You don't have to-"

Shelby cut off the teen and nodded her head in the direction that she knew Santana was waiting in the car. "You are going to be late if you don't go on. Bring me back the $6 tonight when you get home."

Quinn sighed as she put the ten dollar bill into her backpack. She hated taking money from Mama Lopez. The woman had already done more than enough by giving her a place to live and making her feel loved and wanted. Taking cash and extra incentives always made her feel like shit, especially now with her own predicament. Quinn shook her head and turned to leave the room quietly.

Shelby watched as the girl paused, clearly having a conversation with herself in her head. The older woman sighed as she wished she could hear even half the things that ran through the young blonde's head on a regular basis. As Quinn started to leave the house, Shelby called out after her one last time. "I love you Quinn. Have a great day."

Quinn waved over her shoulder without looking back. "Love you too."

...

Brittany was chewing the end of her pencil staring blankly at the covered whiteboard that sat in the front of the classroom. The teacher's handwriting was crap. How was anyone supposed to be able to read that nonsense? The tall blonde suddenly furrowed her eyebrows and leaned forward in her chair, taking a closer look at the board.

"When did math start to use the alphabet too? Has this been like this the whole year?" Brittany heard herself ask no one in particular. "Shit." No wonder she couldn't understand what the teacher had written: it was a combination of letters and numbers. This was bullshit. Out of the corner of her eye Brittany saw someone waving. She took the pencil out of her mouth and looked in the direction of the classroom door. Quinn was standing just outside the opened door waving her over. Brittany felt the smile grow on her face as she stood from her desk and walked quickly over to her friend.

"What's up?" Brittany asked Quinn as she walked outside the classroom to find the hallways nearly cleared out. There was only a few more minutes until the first bell of the day would ring, so nearly all the kids were probably already in their classrooms. Brittany frowned. "Wait. You aren't in my math class. Aren't you in special ed or something?"

Quinn frowned at her friend. "Advanced placement," she corrected. "I'm in AP…not special ed. Those are two completely different things."

"Whatever. I meant what you knew." Brittany waved off her friend's smart fancy sounding class names. The tall blonde looked at Quinn. "So what's up?" she asked again.

Quinn looked over her shoulder at the almost cleared out hallway before looking back at Brittany. "Do you have change for a ten?"

Brittany frowned. "Change?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. She didn't have time for this, class was about to start and she still had to get to her classroom. "Like a five dollar bill and a few ones?"

"Oh!" Brittany smiled as the shorter blonde's request suddenly made sense. "I might," she looked back over her shoulder into her classroom at her backpack that was sitting next to her desk on the floor. She shrugged her shoulders before looking back at Quinn. "Why?"

Quinn groaned internally, why couldn't this just be a no questions asked type thing? She shook her head as an excuse tumbled from her mouth. "I want to get a drink from the vending machine." Quinn nodded her head. That was a good one. Totally believable and legitimate.

Brittany frowned again. "You need it now? Class is about to start." She stated the obvious as she pointed to the nearly empty hallway.

Quinn felt the anxiety building in her chest. She just needed a few ones to give back to Mama Lopez so that she would think she bought herself a lunch at school. Why was this so hard to do? She needed the ones and she needed to get them without Santana knowing. Because although Santana hadn't been in the house while Mama Lopez had given her the money and given the direction to bring change home, Santana would most definitely pounce on Quinn in an instant if she saw her getting change and then later found out why she was getting change in the first place: to lie about eating to Mama Lopez. It would bring up questions, ones that Quinn didn't want to think about let alone attempt to come up with lies for answers again. She needed change for this ten dollar bill and she needed it now.

Quinn nodded her head at her friend. "I'm parched from the early morning run."

The shorter blonde nearly let out a breath of relief as soon as Brittany nodded her head. "Oh sure, duh." Brittany laughed at herself. "Let me go check."

Quinn watched as Brittany walked to her desk and dug through her backpack to find her wallet. The shorter blonde felt herself smile as she saw Brittany nod her head and begin to pull loose bills from the purse. A few seconds later, the tall blonde was handing Quinn the cash.

"I only have eight dollars." Brittany stated.

"That's fine," Quinn nodded with a smile as she handed Brittany the ten. She smiled up at her friend. "Thank you so much Britt, you are a lifesaver!"

"Well I wouldn't want you to die from thirst."

Quinn gave a small chuckle before waving at her friend. "I gotta run or else I'm gonna be late. Thanks again Britt!"

With that Quinn turned on her heel and made her way to her classroom, tucking a five dollar bill and a one dollar bill into a separate compartment from the other two bills in her backpack to give to Mama Lopez tonight after practice. Quinn let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. It felt like a tiny weight was lifted from her shoulders and she couldn't be more thrilled. The blonde was glad she got that out of the way early today, with it behind her it didn't have to haunt her all day. At least she could be thankful for that.

As if she jinxed herself, Finn Hudson came around the corner. He was laughing at something some nameless jock had said. Of course he would be one of the only students still not in their classrooms. His eyes caught hers and they paused for a moment. She couldn't read them completely. She suddenly heard the voice in her head whisper something about "doing the right thing." She glared at Finn Hudson. There was no such thing when it came to him.

She finished zipping her backpack shut and walked down the hallway with a greater purpose. Perhaps one day she will think back on this moment. Perhaps hiding money from her... she shook her head again. Who was Mama Lopez to her? She frowned. She wasn't going to dig that hole now. As if she threw in the shovel, she pulled the spare two dollars that Brittany had just handed her and shoved it at a nameless freshman. She wasn't going to use the money to buy lunch like Mama Lopez had ordered, nor was she going to buy a drink like she had told Brittany. She had no need for the money because she had no appetite. And she had no appetite because of the asshole known as Finn Hudson.

She didn't even meet the random freshman's eyes because she didn't care. She didn't care about the two dollars. She didn't care about Finn Hudson. All she cared about was getting through this day and apparently the fates thought it would be funny to throw it back in her face.

...

Shelby walked into Ruth's office to find her friend sitting at her desk with her nose buried in a patient's file. Shelby leaned against the open door and waited for Ruth to look up at her and acknowledge her looming. She had only been at work a few hours this morning but something was on her mind and she couldn't quite seem to shake it. Shelby knew that the only way she would feel better was if she talked with her best friend. When Ruth didn't look up from the file or the desk, Shelby crossed her arms over her chest and looked over her shoulder to make sure the hallway was still in fact empty before she spoke up.

"Hey..." Shelby trailed off.

Ruth briefly looked up from the file and acknowledged her friend. "Hey." She replied shortly before looking right back down at the manilla envelope in her hands.

Shelby begun to chew her lip as she squeezed herself tighter.

The awkward silence filling the air made Ruth snap out of her work focus and look back up at her best friend. She took in Shelby's stance and frowned. "Hey?" Ruth asked as her eyebrows furrowed at the frown that covered Shelby's face. Ruth put down the file in her hands and waited for Shelby to start talking, it was obvious that her best friend had a lot on her mind.

Shelby slowly shrugged her shoulders as she made eye contact with her best friend. "I...uh..." Shelby cleared her throat and then pushed herself off the door frame and took a few steps into Ruth's office, closing the gap between them. "Have you noticed..." Shelby shook her head. "Or has she said anything to you..."

Ruth shook her head as she scooted her chair back from her desk and crossed her legs. "Shel, you are making zero sense. Use your words. Have I noticed what? Has who said what to me?"

Shelby scolded herself, for being all over the place. She uncrossed her arms from her chest and stood up straighter. "I'm worried about Quinn."

Ruth pulled her head back. She wasn't expecting that one. "Why? She seemed fine to me this weekend?"

"She uh...she hasn't said anything to you about wanting to lose weight or anything... right?"

Ruth slowly stood from her chair and walked around her desk so she could be closer to Shelby. She stood next to her best friend. "No..."

Shelby shook her head as she looked down at the carpeted floor. "I just...I know she feels more comfortable talking to you about certain things rather than talking to me. So...I wasn't sure."

Ruth sighed. She felt like she had had this conversation with her best friend at least twenty times. "Shel. Quinn loves you. You are like a mother to her. I'm just the quirky godmother-type woman who is like a crazy cool aunt." Ruth paused when she saw the small smile find her friend's lips. She let out another sigh as she returned to the point of her preaching. "Quinn does come and talk to me about certain things, but that is only because that girl is so obsessed with not disappointing you-"

"She could never disappoint me." Shelby interrupted her best friend.

Ruth shook her head. "I know that, sweetie, and I've told her that. Just like I've told you time and time again that if something serious comes up in conversation between me and Quinn, or any of the girls for that matter, that I of course would tell you. I already tell you just about everything we talk about when the girls do come to me for something. I mean I don't quote them word for word or anything-"

Shelby waved her hands at her friend, suddenly feeling foolish for her misplaced jealousy. "I know. I know..." she sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you tell me. And I love that the girls, especially Quinn, feel comfortable to come talk to you when they need to, and I am so thankful that you report back to me and fill me in along the way as well...I just...sometimes I feel like I'm on the outside." Shelby shook her head and looked away from her friend again as she let out a breath. "I'm being silly."

Ruth didn't hesitate, she reached for her friend and pulled her into a tight hug, resting her chin on Shelby's shoulder. "You aren't, silly. Stop that." Ruth sighed as she pulled Shelby away from the hug and looked into her friend's eyes. "I can tell you are worried, and when you worry you go to that place where you start to blame yourself for things that are beyond your control. Talk to me. What is this about Quinn wanting to lose weight?"

Shelby sighed. "I just have this feeling that she is up to something...and everything is starting to point towards that. I mean, you and I both know that her father was always on her about her weight."

Ruth nodded her head. "That bastard." She let out a sigh as she started to now shake her head. "I will never understand that. Her and Santana both have killer bodies. There isn't an ounce of fat on either of them with all their muscle tone."

"I know," Shelby said nodding in agreement.

"So did Quinn say something about dieting or anything?"

Shelby shook her head. "Not exactly," she started. "Today she wasn't eating breakfast when I came downstairs...and when I went to hand her her lunch bag there was only an apple and a string cheese in it." Shelby watched Ruth frown. "She said that she forgot to make a sandwich...so I gave her a ten and told her to buy lunch and bring me back change."

"Well maybe she honestly did forget to make a sandwich. She has been so busy the past few weeks with school and cheer and all the extra running she has been doing."

"And then there is all the extra running." Shelby pointed at her friend as she added the other point to her others.

Ruth sighed. "Well...Shel... she isn't running because she wants to lose weight. She is running to keep her mind clear and free from thinking about her good for nothing 'parents'." Ruth put finger quotes over the last word. "I mean... you used to run in college to clear your head too."

"I know. I did." Shelby nodded her head slowly. "I was the one who got her started on this running kick almost a month ago. I told her about my college running days."

"See? Then I doubt you have anything to worry about. I'm sure she is ok. She probably did just honestly forget to pack a sandwich this morning. I wouldn't jump to a conclusion just because of those couple of things, Shelby. I mean...wait and see if she brings you change tonight after you get home from work...and if need be I can always ask her if something is going on if you really want me to?"

"No. You're probably right. It's probably me just over thinking it all. I just...the look in her eyes..." Shelby trailed off as she shook her head. "It's so hard to read her. She always seems to be happy but then when you look at her when she thinks no one is looking...you see all the sadness she carries around. It kills me."

"She's had a rough go of things with everything that was happening at home when she lived with those awful Fabrays." Ruth paused as she felt the anger within her suddenly rise at the mere memory of Quinn's scarred backside. She shook her head. "She was dealing with that physical and emotional abuse for years and hiding it from the both of us...from everyone." Ruth shrugged her shoulders. "But Shelby, she has come a long way. You can't fault her for being sad. She isn't sad because of anything you are doing or not doing...she's just trying to work through her stuff and figure out who she is on her own. She's trying to get her father's voice out of her head."

Shelby sighed. "I know..." The mother shook her head and paused as she studied the carpeted floor in her friend's office. "I wish that she would just let me get her a therapist again..."

"We've been over this. She hates 'taking money from you'. I wish she would go talk to someone too. I felt like it helped her a lot when she was going to the therapist after Santana's attack, it's really a shame she didn't want to keep up with it."

The mother sighed again. "I kick myself everyday for leaving that stupid therapist's bill on the kitchen counter. I really wish she hadn't found that. I know that she swears that that isn't the reason why she wanted to suddenly stop going but you and I both know that it completely is."

Ruth nodded her head remembering that day clearly. It was a couple months after they all had received the news that Santana's rapist was in police custody. All three of the girls had been going to a regular therapist twice a week, and it was doing wonders. Then suddenly one day Quinn had busted into Ruth's office as she was working and declared that she was healed and didn't need therapy anymore. Ruth remembered trying to talk her out of it, and questioning why the sudden change but it didn't matter. Quinn had made up her mind and was refusing to return to therapy.

Once she had sent the teenager home, Ruth had called Shelby, who was picking up Rachel from school at the time, to fill her in on what had happened. Later that night, Ruth received a call from her best friend about how she had come home to the therapists bill open and on the kitchen island, in plain sight for anyone to see. The therapist they had chosen for the girls was a pricey one; however, she specialized in trauma cases and family counseling so every penny was worth it. The two older women had connected the dots and realized that Quinn must have seen the cost and didn't want anything to do with adding another bill to her guardian's name in her expense. While Shelby had the money and didn't mind whatsoever spending it on a therapist for Quinn's benefit, no one was able to talk Quinn into returning to therapy. She never went to another session again.

Ruth sighed again. "Don't kick yourself. What's done is done...it's been months since then. All I can tell ya Shel is to just keep an eye on her. She's doing the best she can do. I'm sure nothing is wrong...she is just trying to figure herself out. She is sixteen... seventeen in nearly two months."

Shelby listened to her friend. She nodded her head quietly as she absorbed everything that the two of them had just talked about. Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out a groan. "Alright. You are probably right -"

"I'm always right." Ruth smiled.

Shelby let out a small laugh and rolled her eyes at her best friend. "Anyway, I'll just keep an eye on her eating habits, just in case and just be there for her in the meantime."

"That's all you can do." Ruth nodded. "If you notice her cutting back on eating then you can cross that bridge...but don't worry yourself or work yourself up about something that might not even be happening. That will get you nowhere... then you'll turn into one of those super lame moms who are all up in her daughters' businesses for no reason. Worry only if there is a reason to worry. Capeesh?"

Ruth was probably right...she was probably overthinking everything again. Shelby felt herself relax a little more. "Capeesh," she replied with a smile.

...

Santana and Quinn were walking towards study hall together, the school day was nearly finished and for that they were both thankful. As they walked to the back of the school where the library was located and study hall was held, Santana tried to read Quinn's demeanor. She couldn't. It was weird but Santana quickly attributed it to the fact that Quinn must be as exhausted as she was. All the early morning running before the early morning practice and then the school day proved to be tiring.

Santana looked over at her friend as they continued to walk. "So during lunch, while you were with your new yearbook friends -"

Quinn rolled her eyes as she shot her gaze in Santana's direction. "Why do you have to keep giving me such a hard time with this yearbook thing?"

Santana put her hands up playfully. "Woah there kujo, relax. I actually wasn't planning on giving you a hard time this time."

Quinn shook her head and then looked back in the direction they were walking. "I've told you this already... I have to go to the yearbook room during lunch so that I can help with the finishing touches on the yearbook order. The year is almost over, we have to get this book finished and sent out so we can get the copies made."

Quinn focused on the hallway in front of her as she felt a twinge of guilt in her stomach. She wasn't lying. Technically. However what she was leaving out was the part where she had volunteered to work through lunch in order to get all of those things done. The head of yearbook was surprised that a student would willingly give up her lunch period in order to work on the yearbook but Quinn didn't have any interest in being in the cafeteria. Sure she missed talking and being with Santana and Brittany, but she knew that if she attended lunch and didn't eat a full meal then her best friend would be on her like white on rice. Quinn couldn't bring herself to eat that much food in a day. Suffering through dinner was plenty. Not to mention, lately her sense of smell had seemed to be on high alert. Being in a crowded cafeteria with sweaty jocks and slimy food was not something she was interested in putting her nose through.

"Alright, alright. I get it." Santana waved her arms at Quinn. "Anyway," the brunette shook her head. "Back to what I was originally going to say before I was so rudely interrupted." Santana gave a sly smile at Quinn only to get a playful punch in the arm in return. She was glad that Quinn was smiling and not biting her head off for the smart remark.

Lately, she couldn't be too sure which reaction she would be getting from her best friend. It seemed like one minute Quinn would be in one mood and then it was like a flip switched and then she would be in a completely opposite mood. Santana smiled and continued, "Brittany and I were talking about going to the arcade this Saturday. You should definitely come. That one band I was telling you about is going to be performing there, it should be lots of fun. Plus I think Mike is gonna be there...he actually is the one that invited us all out there. I thought it would be something cool for all of us to do together."

The two girls turned the last corner as they neared the library. Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "I wish I could but I can't. I picked up a couple shifts at the Bounce House on Saturday." Quinn said casually.

The casual tone in Quinn's voice made Santana stop dead in her tracks. She watched as her friend continued to take a few more steps before realizing that Santana was no longer walking beside her. Quinn suddenly stopped then turned around to look at Santana. Santana felt herself frown. "The Bounce House? When did you start working there again?"

Quinn frowned. Had she really forgotten to tell her best friend? Where has her mind been lately? Quinn shrugged her shoulders as she refocused on Santana. "I called earlier in the week and asked if I could have my job back."

Santana's jaw nearly dropped. "But why? You hated that place."

Quinn shook her head as she took a few steps back towards Santana to close the gap between them. "I didn't hate it-"

Santana made a face. "You had to supervise children as they bounced around on trampolines for hours at a time after they ate pizza and soda. You always had at least one pukey kid per shift. I remember pretty clearly that you did not like the job."

The blonde sighed. "I mean...it's not like it is my dream job. But I am 16... they are the only place that will hire me...and the pay wasn't too bad. Tips were great."

"But you don't really need the money...and..." Santana trailed off as she bit her lip and shook her head quickly.

"What?" Quinn could see the frustration covering her person's face. Quinn looked harder and realized that it was a mixture between confusion and frustration, it made her feel like shit.

"The only reason you got the job in the first place was to have something to occupy your time and keep you out and away from your dad's house as much as possible." Santana stated bluntly. She paused for a second as she studied Quinn's face. It fell at the mention of her father but the blonde nodded silently, letting Santana know that she was correct about her last statement.

"I know..." Quinn said just above a whisper as she thought back to that time in her life when she was desperate to find a job in order to avoid her father's house at any cost. She would have rathered worked than be home with her father. How pathetic is that?

Santana cut off Quinn's train of thought. The brunette opened her mouth to talk but no words came out, something that Quinn was not used to happening with her best friend. Santana didn't want to ask the next question that her brain came up with...but she had to know the answer. "Are you... are you trying to do the same thing again? Are you not happy with us at my house?"

Quinn pulled her head back. "What?" That was not what she was expecting at all. She frowned at her best friend. "San... it's not that at all. I love it there. You know that. I am... I am beyond grateful to have that place...to have a real home... I love living with you and Rach and your mom. I pinky swear."

Santana released a breath of relief as she felt like a weight was lifted from her chest. She nodded her head and the two of them began walking towards the library's doors again slowly. Santana looked over at Quinn. "Then what is it?"

Quinn sighed. She couldn't tell her best friend that she needed something extra to do on her time off in order to keep her brain from thinking about something she was refusing to accept. She couldn't tell Santana about any of it because then it would make it real...and right now she was enjoying this fake cloud that she had perched herself on. Quinn shrugged. "I just want to be able to pay for things...like my gas and new clothes and makeup you know? I hate that your mom buys me that stuff...I feel bad."

Quinn looked ahead as they approached the closed library door. It wasn't a complete lie...she did hate being so dependent on Mama Lopez. But the real reason she called her old job was to keep her mind busy. If she was busy she wouldn't have to think about anything else.

"She doesn't mind." Santana said quickly.

"I know she doesn't, and I am grateful. I just, want to be able to help out a little at least." When Quinn saw that her best friend wasn't totally accepting her answer, nor was she understanding the fact that Quinn didn't want to be a freeloader off of someone who helped her life tremendously, the young blonde rephrased it. "It will make me feel better."

Santana looked sideways at her friend through squinted eyes. She was still skeptical. "Okay..."

Quinn couldn't help but roll her eyes as they both paused outside of the library door. "It's not like I'm working every day. My boss is only giving me call in shifts...so whenever people call out or are going to be on vacation or something is when I'll work."

The brunette nodded her head. "Okay good. Because I mean...final exams are going to be here before we know it, and competitive cheerleading starts right before then, not to mention the end of the school cheerleading season...and you've joined the yearbook committee, and are busy with Key club now too-"

"I'm just the treasurer of Key Club, San." Quinn cut her best friend off on her rant. It was true what she was saying...all of it was true. She was super busy and she had made her schedule like that on purpose but she didn't need Santana questioning why she had made things like that. She had been invited to join Key Club at the beginning of the year. She had won the officer role of treasurer...but the officer role was so lame that even though she hadn't been to any of the meetings throughout most of the year...they still let her return to that title no questions asked two weeks ago.

"Yea but doesn't that mean you count money or something? You have those meetings all the time." Santana waved her hands. "Anyway my point is...with all that and now work...your schedule is pretty freaking jammed pack."

Quinn rolled her eyes again. "I'll be fine San," she said with a sigh. "I still have some free time, we still get to hang out."

It was Santana's turn to roll her eyes. "I'm not saying we don't hang out. I mean you live one room down from me and across the hall, it would be kinda hard for us NOT to hang out. I'm just concerned about you is all."

Quinn reached for the library door and swung it open then ushered her best friend in through the entrance. "Well, don't be. I'm fine... I am not taking on anything I can't handle..." Quinn trailed off as both her and Santana waved at lady who was in charge of study hall, notifying the woman that they were here. Once they were a few steps away Quinn continued. "You are blowing this way out of proportion."

Santana and Quinn walked to the back table that they usually sat at together. Brittany was already there doodling on a blank piece of paper. Santana sighed as they approached the table. "Fiiiiiine. Okay," she declared. She wanted so desperately to believe Quinn and to a certain extent she did. Santana knew that there was no reason that her best friend would be lying to her either; however, deep down she had this weird feeling in her gut and no matter how hard she tried to get it to disappear it seemed to stay. Santana plopped down in her chair next to Brittany. She guessed it was just something she was going to have to get over on her own.

...

The rest of the week had crawled by at what felt like a snails pace, but it was finally over. It was Saturday now and Brittany and Santana had met up with Mike at the arcade and spent nearly the entire day together there. The band was amazing. The concert that they gave was so much fun and filled with great music and songs. When they had finished performing, Brittany and Santana along with Mike decided to order pizza and then spent the next few hours playing different arcade games.

Once they had all just about run out of money for tokens they decided that it was time to head home. Santana and Mike walked next to each other toward their cars, Brittany followed behind them as she pulled apart pieces of cotton candy and shoved it into her mouth.

"It sucks that Q couldn't come out today. I know she woulda loved the band." Brittany said, her mouth full of pink cotton candy.

Santana turned and looked over her shoulder as Brittany caught up to her and Mike. The brunette nodded. "Yea, she had to work at the Bounce House."

Brittany looked over at her friend with a frown. "She's working there again?"

"Apparently." Santana was short as she thought back to the conversation her and Quinn had held earlier in the week when she first discovered that Quinn was starting her job again.

"Since when?"

Santana shrugged. "Who knows."

Brittany's frown grew deeper as she pulled off another piece of cotton candy. "What do you mean 'who knows'? You guys are roommates. Shouldn't you know when she got a job?"

The brunette let out a sarcastic laugh. "You would think." Santana looked over at her tall friend, they had arrived at Brittany's car. Brittany had driven her to the arcade so the blonde climbed into the passenger seat without another word. Santana turned to face Mike as she stood outside of the closed passenger side door. She suddenly felt nervous. It had been her Brittany and Mike all day...and now it was just her and Mike. She didn't know what to say.

Mike smiled at Santana before he bent down to look into Brittany's car. He noticed that Brittany was looking at her teeth in her rearview mirror as she held her cotton candy in the other hand. He stood up straight again and shrugged his shoulders. "So..."

"So..." Santana mimicked back as she looked away from his gaze bashfully.

Mike ran his hand through his hair nervously as he tried to think of a small conversation. "So you and Quinn live together?"

Santana looked back at the taller boy. "Uh, yea. She moved in with me and my mom and sister at the beginning of this school year."

Mike nodded his head. "That's cool," he said with a smile.

Santana let out a breath of relief once she realized that Mike had no intention of asking why Quinn lived with them. It wasn't something she wanted to talk about. It was too private of a matter and wasn't her story to tell regardless. She smiled. Mike really was a nice guy. Most guys would have taken Santana's vague answer and ran with it to get some juicy story from it, but not Mike. "Yea, it's nice." she admitted.

Mike smiled at Santana's smile. "Yea I would think it'd be awesome to live with your best friend. It's basically like college life."

Santana let out a small chuckle. "Yea…kinda sorta. I don't know if I would say its like college life…my mom is very much in charge of everything, and my little sister is always up in our business. But living with my best friend is pretty awesome." She shrugged her shoulders as she looked at Mike. "She's been really close to my family for years." Santana shook her head and corrected herself. "She is family. I don't care what our blood says, to us she is just as much a Lopez as I am."

Mike felt his smile spread as he watched Santana talk about her family. "That's really nice." He shoved his hands in his pocket. "I mean I had heard rumors about you two living together and stuff but…I try not to get involved in drama. I don't believe everything I hear at that school because things can get preeeeetty twisted away from reality."

"That is definitely true," she nodded. "The rumor mill is ridiculous."

"That it is." Mike nodded again. An awkward silence seemed to blanket them. Mike shifted his weight on his feet nervously. He bent down to look into Brittany's car again. The tall blonde was now pretending her steering wheel was a drum as she blew extremely large bubble gum bubbles simultaneously. He looked back up at Santana and smiled. "So uh... listen, I had a lot of fun today."

Santana smiled in return. "I did too. The band was awesome."

"I told you they would be," he nodded his head. "And playing arcade games with you was so much fun too. I had no idea you were so good at pacman."

The brunette laughed in response. "That game is the shit. I love that type of thing." Silence followed her statement. She felt her smile start to fade but then as she looked back up at Mike's light brown eyes she felt herself smile again. "I um...I had a really nice time hanging out with you too."

"Yea?" His smile lit up his face. Santana nodded her head and continued to smile bashfully. He cleared his throat. "So, I was thinking...I know that weekdays are pretty hectic for you with school and cheerleading and I'm sure you have a family life, I mean you said you had a mom and a sister and a Quinn..." Mike trailed off as he mentally kicked himself for his rambling and poorly phrased words.

Santana wanted to laugh at how adorable Mike's rambling was but she couldn't do that to the poor sweet kid. She smiled and nodded her head. "Yea?" She urged him to continue.

Mike ran his hand through his hair as he laughed at himself nervously. "Anyway...I was wondering if maybe...you would maybe be interested...on like...a weekend...like next weekend..." He cleared his throat nervously again. "Saturday, if you don't already have plans... Would you want to maybe get a bite to eat? Just the two of us?"

Santana froze. Was this really happening? She wanted to hit herself, she should have seen this coming. She looked up at Mike who was smiling down at her kindly. "...like a lunch?" she asked hesitantly, forcing herself to smile and breathe.

"Lunch would be fine with me. A lunch date?"

"Date?" She felt the last breath freeze in her chest as her smile instantly fell from her face. She felt like she was on the verge of a panic attack. Was she really ready to go on a date? She didn't want to have to deal with all of the things that entailed. Wait...what exactly did that entail? Shit.

Mike's smile faded from his face instantly when Santana didn't answer. "If that's ok with you... I mean...if it isn't then we don't have to call it that?" He was trying to retrace his steps quickly. He didn't know what he said wrong...but judging by Santana's silent reaction clearly he had done something.

Santana was snapped out of her panic by Mike's sincere voice. She looked up into his eyes and saw that he was doubting himself. She looked down at his hands, they were stuffed into his pockets as he shifted his weight nervously. Suddenly she found strength somewhere within her that she didn't know she had. Seeing that Mike was just as nervous as she was gave her a strange sense of calm.

The brunette stood taller as she wiped the concern from her face and felt her cheeks tighten with a smile. "No...no. I...we can call it that." Her smile grew as she finished saying the sentence.

Mike face instantly brightened up. "Yea?"

Santana swore she was blushing now as butterflies seemed to fill her stomach. "Yea," she answered.

The tall teenager nodded his head as his smile grew from ear to ear. "Awesome."

...

The remainder of the weekend, Santana had done nothing but tried to convince herself that going on a date with Mike Chang was a good thing to do. She tried really hard to convince herself and her family that she was excited about it. She pretended that the thought of going alone somewhere with the boy didn't make her nauseous. She even lied to her therapist and told her that she was ready for this step. It wasn't Mike that made her nervous. It was the whole aspect of a date. She knew that the date could mean two completely different things to her and Mike. Was he expecting to extend the date past lunch and go somewhere else after Breadsticks? Would he try to kiss her? Would he ask about her sex life? What were his expectations? All of those questions plus more had been ringing around in her head since she agreed to the date two days ago.

Santana leaned back and looked away from her book. She was sitting at the table with Quinn and Brittany in the library for study hall. She blinked her eyes as she realized she had just been staring at the open textbook for nearly twenty minutes without even flipping the page. Had she even blinked? The brunette shook her head. She needed a distraction. Santana looked around the table at Quinn and Brittany. She felt herself frown when she noticed that Quinn was staring off at her own textbook silently, her eyes glazed over. The blonde was there...but her mind was clearly somewhere else. Santana's frown grew deeper as she thought back to the day up until this point. Quinn had been acting strangely for most of the day before and during school. What gives?

"Did you hear about Kristy Dunn?" Santana asked quietly attempting to start a conversation.

"What?" Quinn asked not looking up from her textbook.

Brittany straightened, eager to have this conversation. "Apparently last Friday, Drew Murphy had a party because his parents were celebrating their anniversary in Prague and he convinced his older sister that an impromptu visit to Vegas was important -"

"Wait who went to Vegas? What, Prague?" Quinn asked looking up.

"No, Drew Murphy convinced his sister to go to Vegas so he could have the house to himself to throw this huge party! Anyway, Kristy, you know Kristy..." Quinn nodded slowly and Brittany went on. "Anyway, she went to the party and hooked up with Finn and well since then she's been all over him like white on rice. I mean it's Finn you know? Why did she set her expectations so high?"

Santana threw a glance slowly in Quinn's direction attempting to read her and she couldn't. Their friend knew that Quinn and Finn had hooked up, but didn't know the extent of it all. As far as the tall blonde knew: Quinn and Finn had only had sex a few times. Santana was the only one who knew how much that loser frequented her house and how often he texted her for booty calls.

"I mean I get where she's coming from," Brittany continued but put her hands in the air as if she were looking for guidance. "But at the same time, really? Really? It's Finn. Expecting him to be boyfriend material is like expecting gourmet from McDonald's."

Santana kept her eyes subtly trained on Quinn. She couldn't read her at all. However, Brittany interjected.

"I mean you never thought that when you hooked up with him, right, Q?"

Quinn looked straight at Brittany and Santana couldn't help but feel that she was being blatantly ignored.

"I mean I didn't expect miracles from him but he's not as bad at first as he really is," she said. "But I think you're right, Kristy is an idiot."

Santana continued to watch her best friend silently and couldn't help but wonder if Quinn was really talking about herself.

"I think that Kristy will have to just learn the hard way," Quinn went on. "We all do."

Santana arched her brow. "Well, aren't we full of sunshine today?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and finally looked back at her. "It's true."

"I know," Santana said with more raw emotion than she intended and the conversation became silent again.

"Shit, I grabbed the wrong book again. I hate that they don't make all books different colors," Brittany said grabbing her history book. "I hate math too. BRB!"

"Did you really just say 'brb,' Britt?" Quinn asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup!" she replied as she exited and went on her task.

Quinn smiled and shook her head and went back to her work. However, Santana couldn't help but stare at her. She was sure that there was something going on and now more than ever, she was determined to find out what it was.

Santana watched as her best friend went to zone back out while staring at her book. She squinted her eyes at Quinn. "So you knew that Finn was sleeping with other girls too?"

Quinn didn't bother looking up from her book. "I didn't know that until Brittany told us about Kristy." She said bluntly.

Santana's jaw nearly fell open. How was her person being so calm and collected about this? This new little fact had made her want to go find the tall ogre and kick him in the balls...why wasn't Quinn reacting the same way? "And hearing that doesnt make you want to go rip his face off?"

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut for a split second as she let out a sigh. She opened her eyes again only to keep them low and focused on her textbook. She couldn't look Santana in the face as she talked about Finn Hudson. "We weren't ever exclusive..." she breathes quietly.

Santana leaned back in her chair abruptly as she crossed her arms harshly over her chest. "Jeez Quinn. You can't feed me his lines and expect me to accept them." Her voice was louder than she had originally thought. The brunette looked around to make sure no one at the nearby tables was listening to their conversation. She then looked back at Quinn who still had yet to remove her eyes from her textbook. Santana shook her head and leaned back into the table. "He's a pig. That's disgusting." Her voice was quieter now but had a rush of power behind every word. She could feel her heart beating strongly in her chest. "I mean if you are gonna sleep with someone on a regular basis, the least you can do is not sleep with anyone else. He is so not worth your time, Quinn."

Quinn squeezed her eyes tightly shut again. "Here we go again..." she said barely above a whisper.

Santana heard her best friend but chose to ignore the comment as she proceeded with her rant. "I mean...why Finn? Out of allllll the guys you could choose from."

Quinn opened her eyes again, her head still bowed down. As she looked at her textbook page she noticed the font became blurry, the tears began to sting her eyes. Quinn forced herself to take a deep breath in order to keep them from falling. She wished now more so than ever that she hadn't ever gotten involved with Finn Hudson. If she could go back in time that would have been one of the things she would have made herself change. She opened her mouth to answer Santana's question. "I didn't want to just do one night stands anymore. I didn't want to sleep around like that, I was trying to grow..."

"But...Finn?"

The blonde finally looked up from her book to look her best friend square in the eyes. "I slept with him because it made me feel better about myself, Santana."

"No." Santana said harshly as she pointed her finger at Quinn. "He treats you like you are recyclable trash. He uses you for sex over and over."

Quinn shook her head quickly as she felt the tears still burning in her eyes, threatening to fall. "No, I used him for sex, it wasn't the other way around."

Santana through her arms up in the air as she leaned back in her chair. "You can't lie to me about this Quinn. I saw what you were doing." Santana paused as she took in the look on her friend's face, her eyebrows softened. "Or did you really not see what u were doing yourself?"

Quinn rapidly blinked her eyes under her best friend's starre and quickly wiped away the lone tear that made its way down her face. "Whatever San," she said harshly as she looked back down at her book and flipped the page.

Santana continued. "You didn't sleep with him to feel better about yourself...well maybe a small part of you did. But you slept with him because he treated you like garbage and it solidified how you felt about yourself. For the first time in your life you were living with people who truly love you for everything you are and ever will be, and that scared the shit out of you because you weren't used to it. You didn't have that asshole of a father of yours belittling you every chance he got and you weren't being abused."

Quinn quickly opened her mouth as she shot her hand out to stop Santana's rant and object, but she was instantly stopped as Santana waved her off and continued.

"And because you weren't having someone treat you terribly you were questioning the love that my family brought to you." Santana took a breath as she continued to look Quinn straight in the eyes. "You started sleeping with Finn because you needed him to prove to yourself that you are in fact garbage because that's how you were used to being treated and that is how you see yourself."

The table was quiet after Santana finished her rant. Quinn felt like she was crumbling under Santana's gaze and it quickly became harder and harder to keep it. Finally Quinn had to look away; the brunette won the intense staring contest they had just been having. Quinn looked down at her textbook again. "I'm not the only one who thinks that," she whispered.

Santana shook her head angrily. "See, and this is why I hate that tubby ass piece of lard. Both him and your dad are wrong, Quinn." Santana tried to bend over the table to meet her best friend's gaze, but wasn't successful. "You're wrong," she reiterated again.

Santana sighed as silence consumed her table again. She looked around the room to see the other students all doing their own thing: gossiping, texting, doodling... doing normal teenage things. Santana shook her head, her and Quinn were so much different from normal teenagers in so many ways. They both were forced to grow up so much quicker than either of them would have liked. It sucked. Santana's eyes fell on Brittany who was across the library flirting with some random boy, her history book still in her hand. The brunette looked back at Quinn to see that her best friend still had her head bowed down. Santana sighed, suddenly thankful that Brittany had to leave the table so she could have this conversation with her person.

The brunette opened her mouth slowly. She couldn't believe she was about to admit this to her best friend. "At first...I have to admit...when you told me about you and Finn having sex when it first happened...I felt...relieved."

Quinn suddenly brought her head up from her book. Her brows furrowed. "Relieved?"

Santana nodded her head. "I didn't want..." the brunette lowered her voice as she looked over her shoulder before looking back at Quinn, "my rape... to effect your life. And after...after my attacks you changed your sex life drastically because of me." Santana swallowed the lump that was in her throat.

"It wasn't because of you," Quinn countered. "I didn't want to have sex and be a slut anymore because of me. I didn't want that image anymore. Seeing the look on your mom's face when she found out that I had had sex with numerous guys was almost enough to make me celibate on its own."

"'Almost enough'. Key words." Santana caught her friend and continued. "The other reason was because you felt bad for me."

"I-" Quinn shook her head.

Santana silenced her friend. "It's ok. I get it. Anyway...when you first started sleeping with Finn I was glad because it showed me that I didn't fuck everything up for you by my attack."

"You didn't mess anything up -"

Santana cut Quinn off again. "I was glad that you were able to go back to normal. But then as time went by and I found out more and more about that selfish jerk... and seeing how much you liked him and then seeing how shitty he treated you? I should have stopped it a long time ago." Santana let out a sigh. "I wish I had."

Quinn heard the voice inside her head agree with Santana. She wished that Santana would have stopped her too. But just as she started to think that she quickly stopped herself. She straightened in her chair. "San, u aren't my mom. You couldn't have stopped me. Besides you let me know what you thought about it. It's not like you stayed quiet."

"Yea but I shoulda done more. You are so much more than what you think you are worth."

Quinn didn't like where this conversation was going so she decided to turn it around. "We can do the 'shoulda coulda woulda' game all night San. You know just as well as I do that there are things in life that I would take back in a heartbeat if I could."

It was Santana's turn to drop her gaze from the blonde's. She knew that Quinn was talking about her rape. She knew that her best friend still had a part of her that blamed herself for Santana's attack, and that made the brunette feel guilty. Quinn had mentioned before that she wished that she had just insisted that they don't go to the party to begin with, or that she didn't leave Santana to find Puck on her own, or that Quinn walked to the car with her to put her purse away and so much more. She had heard Quinn blame herself for everything too much, especially the first few months following her attack. It ate away at her.

Quinn noticed her best friend was going elsewhere in her mind. She saw the glazed over look that Santana instantly got in her eyes and knew that she needed to pull her back to the present. Quinn reached across the table and grabbed her best friend's hand. "But the point of the matter is you can't go back in life, unfortunately. You can only move forward. So all the should have, could have bullshit is useless and I know you know that just as much as I do."

Santana looked into her person's eyes and saw that Quinn wasn't just talking about Santana's rape. She saw that she was talking about much more and Santana assumed it had to be about the blonde's father as well. The brunette gave her friend's hand a squeeze. "You are right. Shoulda coulda's are pointless." Santana gave a small smile.

Quinn looked over her shoulder to see that Brittany was on her way back to the table. The blonde quickly added, "Don't worry. I'm not sleeping with him anymore, so this conversation has hit a moot point."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Yea ok. I've heard that one before…" Santana thought about all the times that her best friend had claimed that her and Finn were 'completely done' over the past months. She knew every time it was because it was Finn's decision. However, it was always short lived. That selfish prick couldn't help himself when it came to Quinn...and unfortunately he must have realized that Quinn would always let him come back to her so he always took full advantage of that. "I'll believe it when I see it," she added just as Brittany pulled her chair out and joined them at the table again.

Quinn shook her head and then looked back down at her textbook. She zoned out just as Brittany started telling Santana what the cute boy on the other side of the library had said to her. Quinn's mind automatically went back to that night where she was standing on Finn's front porch, it was the last time she had spoken to him. She thought about everything that was said that night. Then she remembered the door shutting in her face. "He doesn't want anything to do with me now..." Quinn numbly whispered to herself.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you liked the chapter. Things are building, so please be patient and enjoy the ride. Please leave any thoughts or comments or critiques. I love reviews!**

**-E**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello all! SO I worked really hard to crank out this next chapter. My final semester of college starts tomorrow so things might be a little more slow at updating than I would like. But I wanted to get out one last chapter before school started, so I hope you are pleased with the quick update and the new chapter. As always I love hearing your thoughts so please please review if you have the spare minute to do so. Thanks for reading.**

Chapter 5:

The week seemed to fly by, yet again. Cheerleading was coming to an end as final exams neared, calling for more excessive practices to prepare them for summer intensives. Teachers were assigning study guides and extra homework left and right in order to prepare their students for the end of the school year. The Bounce House was picking up business as other extra curriculars were ending with the end of the school year, leaving kids with more free time and parents with less patience. Time seemed to fleet by without any apologies, much to Quinn's satisfaction. She had been so busy with everything that she hadn't had any spare free minutes to dwell on the fact that it had already been a few days over a month since finding out that she was pregnant. The thought didn't even cross her mind. Sure, the subject was thought of off and on when something would remind her of it, but so far she had been able to make it through a month after her first missed period without having to do anything or say anything about it. It was working. The problem was basically non-existent.

It was Saturday morning again and the Lopez house was out of milk. Quinn and Santana both jumped at the opportunity to make the trip to the grocery store, knowing that if they had stayed at home then they would be forced to help Shelby with the annual spring cleaning frenzy. Since they were almost entering the month of June, it was time to rid the house of all the excess junk that seemed to build up over the year. And just like every year around this time, Shelby seemed to go crazy while doing it.

The coasters were brought out and expected to be used. The fans were dusted. The curtains taken down to be washed. Everything that was underneath any bed was pulled out and piled inside the individual's room in order to be sorted through, given a place and put away properly. Walls and windows were wiped down. Furniture was moved to clean behind. The house became one big sterile zone thanks to all of the intense cleaning, which was nice to live in...but the process was a bitch and not something any of the girls enjoyed being a part of.

"So how long until you think mom is gonna be blowing up our phones?" Santana laughed as they pushed their practically empty cart around the grocery store for another lap.

Quinn smiled at her friend's question as she looked into their cart. It had two gallons of milk, a pack of bacon and a box Cheese-Its. "I'm surprised she hasn't already. She sent us to the store for milk and we've been gone..." Quinn looked at the time on her watch. "Almost forty five minutes."

Santana felt her eyes bulge. "Shit it's been that long?"

The blonde nodded her head as she pushed the cart around the corner again, getting yet another weird look from one of the cash register people. "The guy working aisle two probably thinks we are staking out the place to rob it at this point."

Santana let out a laugh as she looked over her shoulder at the worker that they both talk about every time they walked by him. "We are literally walking laps around a grocery store. I would be sketched out by us too." She returned her focus forward as she walked next to the cart and shrugged her shoulders. "If he knew what we were avoiding at home then he wouldn't be giving us those weird looks every time we passed."

"So true." Quinn laughed. "I hate June 1st because it requires crazy ass cleaning the week before it in your family."

"Tell me about it."

Quinn had been close to the family for so long she hadn't been considered a "guest" in years. Since she was included in the family that meant she wasn't able to avoid the annual cleaning frenzy. Unfortunately chores came with being included, even before she moved into the house permenantly. She had been a part of 'spring cleaning' for many years, it was not one of her favorites. Although now that she thought about it, it did give her a strange sense of belonging.

Quinn shook her head and focused on her best friend. "At least you get to get out of it today with your date."

Santana looked over at her person in time to see a huge goofy grin consume her pale face. She rolled her eyes at Quinn. "Stop being obnoxious."

"I'm not. Can't I be excited for you? And maybe even a little jealous?" Quinn playfully elbowed Santana as she pushed the cart through another aisle.

The brunette shook her head. "I was actually thinking about calling Mike and telling him that today wasn't the best day."

Quinn stopped walking causing the cart to come to a halt, sending the box of Cheese-Its onto its side. "What the heck? Why? No. Don't do that."

Santana rolled her eyes and turned to face her best friend who was looking at her with a confused stare. "Well I mean it is spring cleaning...I would feel like a total bitch if I left you and boo to do all the work while I was out eating lunch at Breadsticks."

Quinn shook her head. "Santana shush. It literally is just a lunch. You are being ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous? You are the one who is getting all huffy-puffy with me because I said I was thinking about postponing MY date for another time."

Quinn felt a small smile perch on her lips. "'Huffy-puffy'? Seriously?" She quoted her friend.

Santana couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "I have no idea where that came from."

Quinn shook her head and then looked back at her best friend. "Anyway, back to the point. You are full of poop."

"That was your point? That I am full of poop?"

The blonde nodded as she continued to explain herself. "Yes. Full of poop. Because we have currently been walking around a grocery store for forty five minutes in order to avoid the crazy cleaning queen, also known as your mother, so that we don't have to clean. Not a single second of these forty five minutes that have passed have either of us felt bad about the fact that we left Rachel at home with the spring cleaning naize. Now, all of a sudden, you are going to cancel your date with Mike because you would 'feel like a total bitch' if you left all the cleaning to me and boo while you were at lunch? Either you are full of poop or you like me better than your sister."

Santana shook her head. "Don't make me pick between my person and my baby sister. That's not fair."

Quinn rolled her eyes at Santana. "That is not what I'm doing. Don't be dramatic."

The blonde pushed the cart around the corner and was instantly met with a person. When the cart ran into the person, Quinn immediately shot her head over to apologize for the accident but when she saw who it was no words could come out of her mouth.

Russell Fabray was standing in the middle of the aisle rubbing his leg where the cart had just ran into. He was mumbling words under his breath that Quinn knew were not nice from experience. Quinn suddenly let go of the cart and took a step away from it as she looked over at her best friend. She could feel her own face pale just as she saw her best friend's light up with an angry passion.

"How did you not see me standing -" Russell started as he finally looked up away from his leg and at the two teenagers standing in front of him. He sighed and rolled his eyes before looking directly at Quinn. "Oh. It's you." His voice sounded like it was full of disgust.

"Hi," Quinn was able to squeak out. She lowered her head so that her gaze wouldn't meet her father's. This was the first time she had ran into her father, no pun intended, since the night he kicked her out. She had seen him months ago from afar as she waited with Ruth in the courthouse while Shelby and him and her mother had gone in to sign over custodial guardianship, but no words were shared.

Santana watched as her best friend started to fold into herself. The brunette shook her head and took a step forward as she inflated herself. "Mr. Fabray," she greeted him strongly, not backing down from his gaze.

Russell peeled his judging eyes away from Quinn long enough to look Santana up and down before finally speaking. "Hello Ms. Santana." The older man looked away from the brunette back at the blonde and with a curl in his lip he nodded his head. "Quinn," he said with a fake sense of politeness.

Quinn couldn't bring herself to look up at her father. She knew that he thought that people who wouldn't make eye contact with others while they were being spoken to were rude in his book...but she just couldn't find the strength in her to lift her head and meet his gaze. She gave a subtle nod as she continued to study the tiled floor. Out of the corner of her eye she could see her best friend looking back and forth between her and her father. She was watching the silent exchange.

Russell looked Quinn up and down and finally let out a hefty sigh. "Looks like we've gained a bit of weight haven't we Quinn?" He looked over into the cart that the blonde had previously been pushing and saw the box of Cheese-Its, bacon and gallon of whole milk. When he looked up he noticed that Quinn was finally looking directly at him. Her face had the expression of shock and worry on it. He smiled. "A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips."

Santana's jaw literally dropped open because of Russell's words. She couldn't believe the audacity he had. She looked over at Quinn and noticed the tears that were instantly forming in her widened eyes. Santana let out a huff as she took a step forward, her movement finally breaking Russell's judging eyes away from his daughter to focus on her. "How dare you," the brunette spat venomously. "You can't talk to her like that -"

Quinn snapped out of her trance when she heard the shaking anger that was coming from her best friend. She felt her stomach flip as she realized that Santana was talking to her dad, to Russell Fabray, in that tone. Nothing good would ever come from talking to him like that. It made Quinn's heart race at the thought of what he might do. She felt herself reach out and interrupt Santana by grabbing onto her best friend's shoulder. "San," she pleaded.

Santana shrugged her best friend's hand from her shoulder and took another step closer to the asshole that was known as Russell Fabray. Her best friend was an amazing person and yet EVERY DAY she battled with herself because of the things her father had done and said to her her entire life. It was disgusting. She looked up at his grinning face and felt her anger reach a boiling point. She was going to let him have it. Santana continued her rant. "You can't talk to her like that. Not anymore. She-"

Russell put up his hands and began to shake his head, cutting Santana off before she could even really start. "You are absolutely right. Let me finish that sentence for you young lady. She is not my problem anymore. She's your mother's problem now. I shouldn't even be wasting my time." He nodded his head. "Good day ladies." And with that the man walked right past the two teenage girls, making sure to brush against Santana's shoulder as he breezed by her towards the registers.

Santana felt herself shaking. "Oh hell no!" She started to move to chase after the evil man when she felt a hand on her upper arm stopping her. Santana frowned as she looked over at Quinn, whose face hadn't changed since Russell had started speaking. She saw the sad numbness that covered her person's face and the tears that brimmed her eyes and in that moment Santana knew that she had to do something about it. She couldn't let him get away with making Quinn feel like that.

Santana tried to yank her arm free from her best friend's grip to no avail. "Let me go, Quinn. He can't talk to you like that and just get away with it. It is bullshit."

Quinn shook her head silently as she bit her lip. She felt the anxiety building in her chest. She had to get away from here. She released Santana's arm, pivoted on her heel and began walking in the direction they were originally going in, away from where her father went. She left the cart behind her, not caring about it or the contents it held anymore. She began to pick up her pace, walking quickly, not knowing where she was walking only knowing that she needed to walk away from where her father just was. Her thoughts were screaming loudly in her head. She couldn't hear anything but her father's voice echoing in her ears. She was gaining weight and she knew why. She was gaining weight because there was...a parasite in her. Something that needed to be fed and cared for. Something she had been neglecting profoundly the past month. Quinn shook her head. It had been over a month that that...thing...had been inside her. She was one month late on her period when she first took the tests...so it had really been two months. In that moment Quinn walked briskly past the seafood section in the grocery store and suddenly felt a surge in her stomach. The blonde broke out into a run towards the front of the store, despite Santana's protesting yells behind her.

"Quinn. Hold up! Quinn!" Santana yelled for what felt like the hundredth time. She ran out of the big front doors and around the corner of the store just in time to see her best friend throw up against the side of the building.

Quinn closed her eyes as she gagged on the putrid smell and the burning sensation she now felt in her nose and throat. She forced herself to take a deep breath and suddenly felt a million times better. The blonde pulled herself up straight and took a few steps away from her vomit just as her best friend approached her side.

"Here, sit down over here," Santana pointed away from the now dirty cement as she reached to help her friend steady herself. Santana was prepared to have to act as a crutch to help her person walk the few steps away from the vomit. She knew how Quinn got when she threw up, especially when it was caused by anxiety. Santana had seen it many times thanks to Russell Fabray in the past eight years they had been friends.

Quinn waved off her friend as she stood on her own and walked away from the puddle on the ground. "I'm fine."

Santana frowned. What? The brunette looked back at the throw up on the ground and then looked back at Quinn who was redoing her ponytail and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked a little pale but other than that she looked fine. This was weird. Usually when Quinn threw up because of over anxiety she was weak and shaky. Typically, Quinn wouldn't be able to stand on her own and she would burst out into tears before throwing up a few more times. However as she looked at her best friend right now, she wouldn't be able to tell that she had just gotten sick if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes.

Quinn caught Santana's strange gaze. Her own brow furrowed as she saw Santana quietly assessing her. "What?"

"You are fine?" Santana questioned her person. "You just threw up all over the side of the grocery store because your father was a dick."

Quinn closed her eyes. That wasn't what made her throw up. The damn fish smell was what did her in. As soon as she started to think about the reality of her situation tears instantly sprung to her eyes without control or warning. The blonde leaned against the brick wall as she felt her chin quiver. "I... I'm..." Quinn trailed off as a sob left her mouth. She sucked in a gust of air sharply as she bit her lip in attempt to control her crying. She couldn't bring herself to say it.

Santana watched as her friend began to crumble. This was what she was expecting. Santana sighed as she closed the gap between her and Quinn. She reached out and grabbed her friend's hand, causing Quinn to look directly at her.

"I'm..." Quinn tried again but then failed as she tore her watering eyes away from Santana's. She felt the brunette squeeze her hand but she couldn't look back into her best friend's eyes again. Tears begun to roll down her cheeks. She didn't even bother wiping them.

Santana saw the off look in Quinn's eyes. She assumed it was because her mind was flashing back to every awful encounter she had ever had with her father. She looked at the blonde as tears made their way down her face. Santana squeezed her friend's hand again, when Quinn still refused to meet her eyes Santana knew what was happening. She shook her head. "Quinn, you can't be serious."

Quinn snapped her head over at Santana instantly. She searched her best friend's face and couldn't figure out what Santana was thinking. Had she put two and two together? Did she not have to say it out loud? Was it that obvious that she was preg- Quinn shook her head again quickly dismissing the word from her thoughts.

Santana gave a heavy sigh as she looked at her person. "You go running every single morning and you always go hard core at cheer practice."

A frown immediately covered Quinn's face. What? What was her best friend talking about? The blonde wiped the tears from her cheeks as she continued to look at Santana questioningly. "What?" She heard herself ask.

Santana nodded her head. "There is no way you've gained any weight, he is just absurd. He always has been. Don't let him get in your head like that."

Quinn stood in front of her best friend without any words to respond. She had to control her jaw from dropping open. A mere minute ago, the blonde was just about to confess her dirty secret to her best friend. A minute ago, Quinn was trying to get her tongue to work to say the word aloud. Half a minute ago Quinn's heart had leapt into her throat as she thought that her best friend had figured it out on her own. But now here she was…staring at her best friend with a blank look on her face because she realized that Santana had no clue. No clue at all. The brunette had assumed the freak out was because of everything with her father. Sure, it had started that way but then her brain took off and had to think about everything. Then the smell of the damn fish… Quinn shook her head. No. This would be easier to deal with if it was just her typical daddy drama. It was sad, but true. She was going to let Santana be right about this. She forced herself to nod her head.

Santana sighed heavily. "I'm gonna call Mike and cancel my plans with him. I'll stay home and we can have a Greys marathon."

Quinn quickly shook her head. "No. I'll be fine, San." She didn't know who she was trying to convince more: herself or Santana. She continued anyway, "You can't cancel on your first real date with Mike."

"You are more important than Mike. Plus, he'll understand."

Quinn shook her head again and then pushed herself off of the wall and wiped at her mouth again. "Don't be silly."

Santana straightened up next to Quinn. "I'm not."

"Santana. Go on your date." The blonde looked her best friend directly in her eyes. "Stop looking for excuses to get out of it."

"Well this is a legitimate excuse..." Santana offered.

Quinn shook her head sternly. "It's not. I'm fine."

The shrill ringing of Santana's cellphone cut the conversation short. Santana rolled her eyes then pulled her phone from her pocket. It was her mother. She sighed then looked back up at Quinn as the ringing continued she flipped the screen towards her friend to show the blonde that it was her mom calling. "Guess she finally realized how long we've been gone for our milk run."

Quinn nudged her head in the direction of the front of the store. "Let's go get our cart and get out of here."

...

Santana sat across from Mike at Breadsticks. They had finished eating and were waiting on their checks. The meal had gone smoothly, they had plenty to talk about and while Santana's mind was somewhat preoccupied on Quinn, she was able to still enjoy dinner and not have any anxiety attacks.

Mike smile up at Santana as she slurped her empty glass of soda. "Do you want a refill?" He chucked.

Santana frowned then looked down and realized she had been slurping her straw again. She pushed the glass way from her quickly. "No, I'm good. Sorry about that...bad habit." She laughed nervously as she looked down at the table.

Mike shrugged his shoulders as he continued to smile at the girl across from him. Silence overtook the table. Mike cleared his throat. "So what are your plans after high school? What do you see yourself doing?"

Santana looked up at Mike. She hesitated before answering. "Um... to be honest...I don't really like to think about the future..."

It was true. She used to be a dreamer. She used to plan everything out. But now since the night of the party...the night she was raped by a stranger... that was all taken away from her. It was hard to plan for something when she knew first hand that your life could be thrown completely off course by someone you dont even know. She didn't like thinking about the future because sometime in her future she was going to have to face her rapist again at the trial...the thought of it made her nauseous. Now, when she thought of the future it made her stomach twist into knots.

Mike waved his hand in front of Santana. "San?"

Santana shook her head and refocused on the boy across from her. She looked into his light brown eyes. "Hm?"

Mike smiled kindly. "Where'd you go?"

"Sorry," Santana apologized quickly with a small shake of her head. She hasn't realized she just zoned out for so long in front of him. She forced a smile to her face in attempt to make her seem normal. "I just uh... I like living day by day. So I haven't put much thought into the future." That was somewhat honest...kind of. She shrugged. It'll have to do for now.

Mike slowly nodded his head as he began to mull over what Santana had just said in his head. "I like that..." he finally stated. "That makes sense. Cherish each day you have type of thing?"

Santana lifted one shoulder, "yea something like that."

Mike smiled and nodded again. "Cool."

Santana smiled but soon her smile started to feel fake as she realized there was too much silence between the two of them again. She looked over her shoulder at the other tables as she spotted their waiter bringing drinks to another table. She frowned. How long was it going to take to get their checks? She looked back at Mike and gave a nervous smile as she tried to think of conversation. "So uh...what about you?"

"Me?"

Santana nodded her head. "Yea...any future plans?"

"Oh well...I don't know..." Mike looked up at the ceiling as if he was contemplating the question. He finally looked back at Santana with a shrug. "I mean, I suppose... after I graduate highschool I'm going to discover a new planet and then become rich and be deemed ruler of Miketopia," Mike paused before he clarified, "that's the name of my future planet." He nodded his head as Santana felt a smile begin to creep onto her face. He continued, "once I'm ruler of the newly discovered planet I will hire the smartest engineers and scientists in the world to find a way to move me and all the cool people that I want in my life out to Miketopia so we can live there and not have to worry about all the over crowding, melting glaciers, crazy republicans and pollution." The teenage boy shrugged his shoulders as he took a sip from his water glass. "Nothing too major," he added nonchalantly.

There was a beat of silence that overcame the two teenagers before Santana started busting out laughing. Mike's smile spread along his face until he finally joined in on the laughter. Once their laughter had died down Santana looked up at Mike. "Well that hasn't been thought out at all or anything," she said sarcastically with a huge smile still on her face.

"Nah," Mike laughed. He looked at Santana's face and couldn't help but smile even brighter. She was so beautiful when she was laughing.

"So Miketopia?" Santana interrupted Mike's trance.

The tall boy nodded his head. "That's the winning title so far..." He winked his eye at the girl across from him. "You'll obviously be invited."

Santana felt herself blush.

...

Shelby walked down the upstairs hallway with Santana's letterman jacket in her hand. She shook her head. Why couldn't, at seventeen years old, her daughter learn to put her things _in_ her room rather than on the floor right inside the front door downstairs? Here she was slaving away this entire week for the annual spring cleaning and Santana couldn't even manage to walk up the stairs to put the jacket in her closet. Shelby chuckled to herself; she had to just accept that at this point some things were never going to change. She knew that her daughter had been distracted and in a rush to get ready for her date. Shelby felt herself smile at the thought. She was so proud of how far Santana had come the past six months.

As the woman made her way out of Santana's room she heard a muffled moan come from the hallway bathroom. She paused her footing and strained her ears to pick up the sound again. The sound of vomiting meeting the toilet suddenly filled her ears. Shelby's brow furrowed instantly as she quickly walked to the closed bathroom door. She swung the door open swiftly to find Quinn grasping the ceramic bowl as she simultaneously emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Quinn's body was violently shaking with every heave. From the door Shelby could see the beads of sweat that glistened on the young girl's neck and arms.

Shelby quickly sprung into action as she grabbed a hair tie from the bathroom counter and moved to stand over the young blonde. She gently pulled Quinn's hair into a loose ponytail to keep the girl's hair out of her face and the toilet. Shelby reached over and grabbed the hand towel that was hung on the wall and gently began dabbing it along Quinn's neck as she cooed comforting nothings into the girl's ear.

Once the wave of vomiting stopped she felt Quinn's body instantly relax. Quinn rested her head on her arm that she laid across the toilet bowl as she took deep breaths to slow her heart rate. She didn't care that her face was practically laying on the toilet seat. With all of Mama Lopez's "spring cleaning" it was probably so clean she could practically eat off of it if she really wanted to. Right now the surging in her stomach took over any other care in the world. It had hit her so suddenly, she had barely made it to the toilet in time. One minute she was absolutely fine dusting the fan in her room... then the next thing she knew she thought throw up was going to go all over the carpeted floor Mama Lopez had just steam cleaned. She didn't have her father's mean words to blame on this rush of sickness...she knew exactly what it was from.

Shelby gently sat herself down next to the blonde and began to rub comforting circles into the girl's back. She leaned her head down to meet Quinn's gaze to find that the girl had tears in her eyes. The mother's heart ached. She hated when any of her kids were sick, it made her feel helpless. Being violently ill like she just witnessed Quinn being was especially hard. Seeing the tears in the young girl's eyes made her heart ache more. Shelby continued to rub Quinn's back, "You are okay." She told the girl gently.

Quinn closed her eyes and nodded her head taking in a deep breath to will the tears back into her eyes. She didn't want to break down in front of Mama Lopez. Her being caught throwing up was bad enough. She couldn't break down and be completely vulnerable…she couldn't afford slipping up here. Not when so much was at stake. Her secret had to remain just that; a secret.

"I didn't know you were feeling sick, you should have called me, Quinnie." Shelby's voice was soft and sincere.

Quinn shook her head along her arm as she opened her eyes to meet Mama Lopez's stare, "I'm okay." She said quietly.

Shelby sighed. Quinn was a very independent girl, and she understood out of habit that she had to be that way when she lived at her parent's house. However, that didn't stop the woman from wishing that Quinn would open up more to her, or come to her when she needed things. She understood it, but she shook her head as she forced herself to focus on the sick girl sitting in front of her.

Shelby reached her hand out and felt Quinn's forehead with the back of her hand. She held it there for a few seconds and then moved her hand to the teen's neck, "Hmm…you don't feel very warm."

All Quinn could do in reply was shake her head. She knew she wouldn't feel warm. She didn't have a fever or anything she was just… she shook her head again as more tears filled her eyes.

"Oh baby," Shelby watched as the teens eyes clouded with tears again. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I feel..." Quinn shook her head. "I feel... dumb." She did. She felt incredibly dumb. All of this was her fault. Her last statement was barely above a whisper, but Shelby had heard.

Shelby gave the blonde a small smile as she reached over and stroked her fingers through Quinn's hair. "There isn't any reason for you to feel dumb, sweetie. You are anything but."

Quinn couldn't control the sob that left her mouth after hearing Mama Lopez's words. Her emotions were all over the place. The older woman was going to hate her. She was going to be so disappointed and disgusted with her when she learned what was really causing Quinn to throw up. Mama Lopez had too much confidence in her, none of which was deserved. She had been sneaking Finn into the house behind Mama Lopez's back. She got preg- Quinn couldn't finish her own thought. Thick tears burst from her eyes as she began to cry heavily. The blonde felt herself being shifted away from the toilet and into the comforting arms of her best friend's mother. It made her cry harder. She clung onto Mama Lopez's shirt and sobbed into her neck.

"Woah there. You are okay, hunny. Shh..." Shelby hushed into Quinn's ear. She rocked the young teen back and forth. "What is going on?" Quinn only cried back in response. "Hm?" Shelby tried again. Quinn's tears were dampening her shirt. Shelby sighed as she squeezed Quinn tighter in her arms. She had a feeling of what this was about so she started talking to the crying girl. "Quinn I wish you weren't so hard on yourself. Final exams are coming up, but sweetie, I don't expect you to get 100% on all of your finals. You put too much pressure on yourself. You don't have to worry about the consequences anymore. Nothing bad will happen to you if you happen to bring home a B." She felt the teenager began to cry less frantically. Shelby started rubbing circles into her back. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't study and try your hardest... but running yourself into the ground, and staying up all hours of the night reading your textbooks and notes isn't necessary, darling."

Shelby knew how intense Russell had been about Quinn's grades. The girl wasn't allowed to bring home anything less than A+ grades. Shelby frowned and then kissed the top of the blonde's head. The older woman shook her head, she didn't know how intense Russell really had been, she corrected herself. Not really, at least. Not until 8 months ago. The thought of what the younger girl probably had to suffer through if she brought home a 90% made a fire burn in Shelby's stomach. No wonder Quinn was in here throwing up. Quinn was so nervous about getting the perfect grades to please her, out of habit. She was so nervous and stressed it was making her physically sick.

Quinn listened to Mama Lopez's words as she sniffled and tried to calm her breathing. She hadn't been talking about school. Not at all. One of the worst things about her whole predicament is that she was considered, by the average person, to be a smart girl. She had always gotten straight A's in school and was in the top percentage of her class academically. How then, if she was so 'smart' had she made such an incredibly stupid mistake? Quinn let out a quivering breath into Mama Lopez's now damp shirt. That is what she had meant when she told the older woman that she was dumb. She wasn't referring to her final exams... not in the least.

Nonetheless, Quinn couldn't bring herself to correct Mama Lopez. The woman was rubbing reassuring circles into her back. She couldn't tell her now. Not like this. She was going to let the mother think that she was in here getting sick because of the stress with final exams. She felt terrible about all the misleading lies she had been feeding the family...but deep down, the blonde knew that it was better than the alternative. Quinn shook her head into the woman's chest. Nothing was wrong, nothing was wrong, nothing was wrong. She was trying to chant to herself in order to make herself believe it again.

"Why don't you go lay down for a bit, sweetie." Shelby spoke again as she heard the teen start to cry again softly.

Quinn picked herself off of Mama Lopez's embrace and sat up straight as she wiped at her eyes. She didn't want to be pitied. She didn't want to have anything wrong with her. "I didn't get to finish dusting my fan."

Shelby let out a small chuckle as she looked lovingly into the blonde's eyes. "I will finish that. You need to go lay down and relax for a while. At least until Santana gets back home from her lunch date. Ok?"

...

Santana paused just outside the front doors to Breadsticks. Mike had paid for their meals and now the two of them had finished another conversation standing by the doors. Santana looked over at her car, his was parked right next to it. She looked over at Mike and felt herself smile away the worry that was in her gut.

"Well, let me walk you to your car?" Mike asked with a smile as he reached his hand out for Santana to take. He could see his hand trembling a little and cursed himself internally to get his nerves under control.

Santana looked down at the kind boy's hand and paused. It was early in the afternoon still, the sun was still above their heads and was shining brightly. There was a constant flow of people walking in and out of the restaurant. She looked up at the light brown eyes she so easily got lost in. This was Mike's hand. She knew Mike. He was kind and gentle and funny. He wouldn't hurt her. Santana let out a deep breath and grabbed his hand in hers. Once she saw the smile that enveloped his face she let out a breath of relief.

As they walked the short distance to their cars hand in hand Mike broke the silence. "I uh..." The boy trailed off as he looked over at the girl's hand he was holding. He smiled at Santana and found his words just as they paused outside of her driver's side door. "I like you a lot Santana."

Santana felt herself blush. She couldn't find any words to say back. She felt the most comfortable with Mike than she had felt with anyone outside her family since the attack. He was the one thing she looked forward to at school every day besides Quinn and Brittany, and that was because he didn't make her feel weird or nauseous. She never felt threatened or was worried that he might try something when she would sit next to him in her classes. He was just Mike and he made school a little easier day by day.

Mike continued despite Santana's silence. "But because I like you I wanted to tell you something and be upfront with you."

Santana felt her smile falter. She nodded her head slowly.

"I...don't want to rush into anything..." He trailed off and then saw the confused look that Santana held on her face. He clarified. "Call me old fashion...but I like...taking things slow. I want to go on more dates with you before...I don't want there to be any pressure to make things physical or move things along quickly." Mike took his hand from Santana's and then shoved them in his pockets nervously. He shrugged. "I know that makes me a dork to some or a loser to others but, it is who I am...and if that isn't what you are looking for...then that is totally okay...I just...I wanted to be upfront with you. I respect you too much to move too fast."

Santana stood silently trying to take everything in that the boy had just said. He was referring to sex right? He was saying that he wanted to get to know her better before they got involved physically? That was what old fashioned was right?

Mike continued again. "I just...I really like you. And I like you too much to mess things up with the pressure of other things too soon. I'm looking for something more than just a physical fling."

"I..." Santana tried to speak. She tried to find the words to tell him how relieved she felt in this moment while still being struck with incredible fear. She didn't want to talk about sex because it was way too complicated of a subject...but that wasn't what he was doing. Not really. He was talking about not talking about sex...which is what she wanted...right? Santana looked up at Mike and she felt herself smile. "I really like you too," she concluded as she felt the nerves in her stomach settle.

...

It was finally dark outside. Mama Lopez's cleaning frenzy had slowed down and all the kids were dismissed to do as they pleased. Santana had opted to go to Brittany's house for a while, something about game night or another. Rachel had chosen to alphabetize her movies and books in her room while Mama Lopez sat down to watch a movie. Quinn had taken the opportunity to go on a night run through the neighborhood. Sitting in her room alone wasn't an option, and while Santana had invited her to Brittany's, the blonde had sensed that Santana needed some time alone with her friend which worked out well because Quinn wasn't really in the mood to play games. Today had been such a long day between running into her father and having the close call with both Santana and Mama Lopez nearly finding out her secret. She needed this time to herself, she needed to go on this run because it was the only thing she could count on to keep her sane and keep her mind busy enough to not think about what she was hiding.

Quinn turned the corner and started to jog down the familiar street that intersected the one her new home resided on. As she ran down the length of the street she spotted a girl up ahead of her walking at a steady pace. The blonde frowned. Other people run at night too? As she kept up her pace she noticed that the girl's form looked a lot like Santana's. She furrowed her brows, EXACTLY like Santana's, she corrected herself. She almost stumbled on her feet. That was Santana. What the hell?

Quinn put a fire in her stride as she ran to catch up to her best friend. "San?" She called out as she neared the girl. Santana didn't turn around at her name. "San!" Quinn tried again. Still her friend didn't look. She must have earphones in, Quinn concluded. The blonde slowed her run as she zeroed in on the walking girl. She tapped the brunette on the shoulder as soon as Quinn was within arm distance as she came to a stop.

As soon as the blonde made contact with the brunette, Santana let out a blood curdling scream. She dropped her ipod and fell to the ground, pulling her knees into her chest as quickly as she could.

"NO! Please! Don't!" Santana screamed at the unexpected touch from the unexpected person who was now standing shocked and silent in front of her. She kept her head down as she swung her arm out in a feeble attempt to protect herself before burying her head behind both of her forearms and waiting for a blow. "Please!" She begged again. Santana had heavy tears rushing down her cheeks as she sobbed out her pleads.

Quinn felt her heart rip in half as she watched her friend cry and beg from the cement sidewalk as she shielded herself from her. Quinn wanted to kick herself. She slammed her open palm into her forehead as she collected a breath of her own to ease her rapidly beating heart. She was so stupid. She lowered her hand from her head as she looked at her best friend again. "Santana," her voice was gentle, trying to break Santana out of the hellish fear she was responsible for throwing her in. Santana didn't hear her call. The blonde slowly walked closer to her sobbing best friend and knelt down in front of her cautiously. "San?" she tried again. "San, it's me."

"No..." Santana begged again as another hysterical sob left her lips.

"Santana, it's me." Quinn repeated gently. "It's Quinn." She watched as her friend suddenly looked up from behind her forearms shakily. Quinn watched as Santana took in her face and recognized it was indeed her. She watched as Santana's face went from complete fear to relaxed sorrow. Santana released a heavy breath as her chin quivered. Quinn noticed relief start to take over Santana's facial features, but as quickly as they reached her face they faded into anger.

Santana angrily wiped at the tears that continued to fall from her eyes. She lowered her knees from her chest as she sat up taller and glared at her best friend who was still squatting in front of her. Her heart was beating so quickly and she had been sobbing so heavily that it took her a moment to catch her breath. When she finally did she looked at Quinn straight in the eyes as she threw her hands up angrily. "God damnit Quinn! You can't DO THAT! You can't do that to me!" She screamed angrily. She knew her anger was misplaced but in this moment she didn't care. She needed to take it out on Quinn for making her flashback again.

Quinn could see that behind her friend's anger was her fear, but she wouldn't call her out on her misplaced anger. In all honesty, she shouldn't have came up from behind on the unsuspecting girl. She knew first hand what Santana was dealing with, even still: over seven months after the fact. Her rapist had been caught and was in jail as he awaited his trial. Unlike _Law and Order_ had led her to believe, apparently the court systems took forever before they finally saw cases all the way through. It wasn't the next day like the show had led its viewers to believe. Santana's lawyer was 100% confident that the disgusting scum who ruined their lives would be put away for a long time, if not the rest of his life... but it was going to be months before the trial even started. So all they could do was wait. Even though Guillermo Chavez was off the streets it didn't mean that everything went back to normal. Santana still had scars from the attack, physically and emotionally. Quinn was aware of her triggers and should have known better than coming up behind her like that. But Santana should have known better than being out alone at night.

Quinn frowned as she stood up and looked down at her friend. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" She challenged Santana in a strong voice. "You said you were going to hang out with Britt tonight! You shouldn't be out here alone at night, Santana. I mean..." She shook her head as she felt her own anger rise in her chest. "You lied to us so that you could come walk the streets at night? What the hell were you thinking?!" She screamed at her friend. She felt a bit like a hypocrit as the words left her mouth but she didn't care. This was Santana she was talking about, not her. Her sudden raise in volume made Santana jump slightly from her seated position on the concrete, but Quinn couldn't control it. The picture of her friend bruised and bleeding was running through her head. She was suddenly so mad at her person for being out here alone at night. She couldn't bare to have anything happen to Santana again. She knew that her friend wouldn't be able to survive it. The thought made her stomach churn.

She breathed a deep sigh when she looked back down at her silently crying friend. The guilt for yelling was finally kicking in. Quinn slowly lowered herself down to the ground next to Santana and scooted close so that their arms were touching. She looked out into the dark sky in front of them as she began to speak again. "Sorry..." she trailed off and sighed. "I'm sorry I yelled I just..." Quinn shook her head. "God, the thought of something happening to you again?" She changed her focus to her best friend who wouldn't meet her gaze. She sighed again. "You shouldn't be out here alone. What is going on? Why did you lie?"

Santana looked forward into the darkness as she answered numbly, not bothering to wipe her cheeks anymore. "I don't wanna be this person forever."

"Be who?"

"The girl who can't go anywhere alone at night." Santana's voice was barely above a whisper.

Quinn sighed. "San, no one expects you to-"

Santana snapped her head over to look at Quinn directly. "I do. I expect myself to be able to. I mean...if I can't do this..." the brunette shook her head. "Then how am I supposed to...be able to do other things..."

When Santana trailed off and looked away from the blonde, Quinn knew what Santana was referring to. Quinn nudged her best friend with her arm, but the brunette refused to look at her again so Quinn began to talk anyway. "You don't have to sleep with him right away San... you told me that he said he wanted to take things slow..."

Santana shrugged her shoulders as she wiped away her tear stained face. "He did say that. But I'm not just talking about physical stuff Quinn. I mean, that is included too but...I'm talking about the fact that me and him can't go out on a real date..." She looked over at the blonde. "We can't go to dinner or a movie...because I'm too terrified of being alone outside of my house when the moon is out. It's pathetic."

"That's not true." Quinn frowned. "We've been out of the house at night San."

"It's not the same, Quinn. I won't be able to be just me and him at night, I mean..." Santana trailed off as she shook her head and felt her lip tremble. "Just the thought of me having to walk to my car with him at night after a late movie..." She bit her lip and took a deep breath before looking over at Quinn. "It makes my palms sweat and makes my head go back to that place in the woods..."

"Sweetie, you are rushing yourself." Quinn looked into her best friend's eyes as she spoke. The look in Santana's eyes told Quinn that she wouldn't win this battle with the brunette right now. Especially not sitting on the sidewalk outside at night. Quinn gave a heavy sigh as she leaned her head onto Santana's shoulder. The two teenagers let the silence overcome them as they listened to the grasshoppers chirping in the distance. Finally Quinn picked up her head and stood up, dusting off her shorts before extending her hand out for her best friend to grab for assistance.

"Let's go get your car. I'll walk with you."

Santana looked up at her person who was standing over her, then she looked at Quinn's extended hand. She shook her head. "That defeats the purpose."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders as she bent down and forced Santana to a standing position. "Well...tough shit. I'm not leaving you. You are my favorite person in the whole world. I'm not chanceing anything."

Santana sighed knowing that her best friend wasn't going to back down. "Fine." She nudged her head in the direction she had parked her car nearly a half hour ago. She stuffed her hands into her hoodie pocket and the two of them slowly made their way back in the direction of her car. After a few silent steps, Santana looked over at Quinn. "So what were you doing out here anyway? Mom let you out of the house alone at night?"

Quinn looked over at Santana before changing her focus back to what lied ahead of them. "Not exactly..." she trailed off.

Santana gave out a scoff. "You snuck out to go running? Man... you really do need a life."

"Oh shut it," Quinn laughed as Santana simultaneously let out a round of laughter.

The two girls walked a few more steps in silence before Santana looked over at the blonde again. Quinn had that off look in her eyes again. "What are you running away from?" She asked bluntly.

Quinn nearly tripped on her own feet at Santana's question. She shook her head as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I wasn't...I wasn't running away. I was completely planning on coming back home." The blonde looked at her friend. "It wasn't like that."

Santana arched her brow. "That's not what I was saying and you know it." Santana knew that Quinn knew she had meant that question figuratively. "What are you running from?"

Quinn steeled herself away in order to make sure that Santana didn't dig into this topic much longer. She couldn't have her person questioning her newfound love of running. She needed it too much. "Nothing. I just felt like running. It's not like that."

Santana looked at the girl with a skeptic frown. "Well it sure seems like it lately... with your sudden interest and borderline obsession with running."

A heavy sigh passed through Quinn's lips. She didn't want to talk about running. It was the only thing that cleared her mind. She waved at Santana. "I love you but I'm fine."

Santana gave up. "Okay," she stated flatly.

As they continued to walk in silence, Quinn decided she couldn't handle the awkward tension that seemed to be growing between them. She kenw that her best friend wasn't buying her lame excuse and she could tell by how Santana was huffing silently that she knew something was wrong. Quinn saw Santana's car in the distance. She felt herself smile as she looked over at her best friend. "Wanna race?"

Santana made a face of disgust. "Do I ever?" The answer was no. Santana hated running, racing especially. There was no joy that came from it. Without a warning she watched as her best friend took off from beside her and began jogging towards her car. Santana felt herself groan.

"Last one to the car does the other ones chores for the week!" Quinn shouted over her shoulder.

"Aw shit." Santana sighed. She shook her head and then started running after her friend towards where her car was parked, knowing full and well that if Quinn did win that she really would have to do the blonde's chores for a full seven days.

**AN: Thanks for reading. Reviews are loved. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chpt 6**

Quinn and Santana were at their lockers before school started when Brittany came skipping up to them with a bright smile on her face. Santana couldn't help but groan. Quinn had made her get up early again to go running, so on top of her usual unpleasant morning demeanor Santana reaaaaally wasn't in the mood for bright and shiny smiles this morning nor skipping. She definitely wasn't in the mood for skipping. She rolled her eyes at herself before she managed to find a smile and turned to face Brittany.

"Guess what I found out?" Brittany said as she jumped up and down in place.

"Britt...how are you so hyper...and happy right now?" Santana moaned earning herself an elbow in the side. The brunette shot a glare over at Quinn as she rubbed where her best friend had just jabbed.

"Sorry, Britt, Santana is just annoyed because I made her go running this morning." Quinn apologized to their friend with a smirk.

Brittany simply nodded her head as she looked back at Santana. "Well when you hear what I have to say, you'll be in a good mood too!"

"Doubt it," Santana mumbled under her breath.

"What's up, Britt?" Quinn asked with a smile.

"The hockey team's annual party is this Friday night!" The tall blonde squealed as she clapped her hands together enthusiastically.

Quinn felt her smile wipe suddenly from her face. Shit. She looked over instantly at Santana, whose face was now somber as well too. Neither of them had been to a party since Santana was attacked. Santana couldn't bring herself to make that step, and Quinn had no interest in going since that night either. Parties were just a reminder of everything that was ruined by that night. Parties reminded them both of guilt, pain, suffering, sadness, terror and so many other mixed confusing emotions, so staying clear from them has been both of their number one priorities.

Brittany frowned at her friend's silence. "Come on! This is the party of the year! You can't miss this one. You guys haven't come with me to a party in forever! I feel like all of a sudden you two just fell out of it. What gives?"

Quinn continued to look at Santana as Brittany spoke. She felt her stomach churn as she watched the brunette's eyes glaze over and her body tensed. Quinn knew just by looking at her that Santana wasn't really with them anymore. She knew that her best friend's mind was elsewhere, and it made Quinn's heart ache as she thought about where her mind could have been.

The blonde turned her head to face Brittany as she cleared her throat. "It's actually been my fault, I've been pretty lame lately..." She shrugged her shoulders. "I haven't really wanted to do much of anything but sit at home and watch TV."

Hearing her best friend's voice made Santana shake her head to free herself of the images of his golden tooth reflecting in the light from her mind. She folded her arms across her chest in order to hide the trembling of her hands that was brought on by the thought of his rough hands groping her body. She released a breath as she looked over at Quinn and gave the short blonde a grateful smile. She was so glad that Quinn always had her back, she honestly wouldn't know what to do without her. Santana looked up at Brittany as she cleared her throat.

"Yea...sorry, Brittany. We uh...we don't really go much of anywhere these days." She was telling her friend the truth without giving any reason behind it. It was enough for the tall blonde, no detail was really necessary. The best friends knew the real story. They hadn't been to a party since Santana had been attacked and raped. Even more so, no one outside of the family and her therapist other than the cops and lawyers knew about what Guillermo Chavez did to her. Over half a year later and the brunette still hadn't found a way to tell Brittany. She had eventually reached the conclusion that her friend didn't really need to know.

Brittany nodded her head. "Oh...alrighty. Well..." the tall blonde sighed before giving her friend's the 'puppy eyes'. "I really want you guys to come with me to this one...please? Even if it is just for a little bit? I just want to hang out the three of us...like we used to, and what better way than to do it at the hockey teams' annual party?!" Brittany smiled.

Quinn looked over at Santana again nervously, she was eyeing the brunette to figure out which move she wanted her to make. In all honesty, Quinn wasn't up for much partying. She was exhausted and didn't want to run the chance of running into Finn. She felt her stomach drop at the mere thought of it. Not only did Quinn not want to go to the party because of everything it reminded her of with Santana...but now she had a whole other reason why she wasn't in much of a party mood these days, only no one but her knew about it.

Quinn's ears perked up as Santana interrupted her thoughts. "Okay... yea... you know what? Let's do it." Quinn frowned. This is not what she was expecting Santana's next move to be. She watched her friend closely. Santana was now looking at her with a small smile on her face.

Quinn raised her eyebrows. "What?"

Santana let out a short nervous laugh as she attempted to keep herself together since she was in the middle of the school hallway standing in front of Brittany. She nodded her head at her best friend's question, hoping that Brittany didn't notice the shock that was in Quinn's voice. Santana clenched her fists as she pulled her arms tighter around her chest. She had to put herself out there more. She had to become a normal teenager again, and normal teenagers went to parties. She didn't want Guillermo Chavez to ruin everything about her life. Besides...it was time for her to grow up. It had been nearly 8 months since... and Quinn was going to be there, so it wasn't like she would be alone. This was something she could do. Maybe... She nodded her head again. "Yea."

Quinn had to control her jaw from dropping to the ground. This was NOT what she was expecting at all. She looked at Santana with a furrowed brow. "Are you sure?"

"Yea I mean...it'll be us three together again." Santana looked at Quinn with a plastered smile on her face that Quinn couldn't quite read. "It shouldn't be a big deal. Right?"

Quinn sighed as she realized that Santana was silently pushing her to stop acting so shocked by her wanting to go to the party. Quinn looked at Brittany before looking back at her best friend. She knew that Santana didn't want Brittany to start questioning the subject further so she knew that she had to get her act together, but could Santana really blame her? This was huge. Just the other night Santana had a meltdown on the sidewalk because Quinn had came up from behind her...and now she was agreeing to go to a party. The place that all of it had began. Quinn sighed. Not only that but she really honestly didn't want to go to the party...but of course she would never let Santana go alone. If Santana insisted on going, then she would be at her side the entire night. She wasn't making that mistake twice. "Right..."

Brittany shot her hand up in the air. "Yes! I'm SO excited! You just made my day!" The tall blonde looked at Quinn with a small frown. "Come on Q stop being lame, we are young! Get excited!"

Quinn continued to eyeball Santana who just nodded her head in response, urging Quinn to get her shit together. The blonde managed to peel her eyes from Santana finally as she let out a nervous laugh and looked at the tall blonde. "Yea... ok. Yea this...this will be fun...?"

Brittany turned on her heel and started to walk next to Santana as they all headed down the hall towards their first classes. As soon as Santana and Brittany got into conversation, Quinn couldn't help but be sucked into her own thoughts. She was so unsure about all of this. It was all stressing her out already. She knew that Santana wanted to 'get better', as she phrased it, but throwing herself into a party situation was not a small step like her therapist had suggested she do. This was an epic olympic leap and Quinn didn't know how she was going to be able to pull herself together well enough to be there for Santana if she missed the landing of this massive jump. She had no choice but to figure it out though. This was her person she was talking about. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her. Quinn yawned. Fuck. How the hell was she going to get through a party? She felt like her eyelids were already fighting to stay open and they hadn't even started school and it was only Wednesday. Why was she so goddamn tired?

...

Santana pulled her car onto Prescott street as she snuck a glance over at her best friend. The ride home from school had been relatively silent between her and Quinn. Santana didn't want to bring up the fact that she had said yes to going to the party and Quinn was too tired to do so either. Santana didn't want to tell Quinn that she was pushing herself because she expected herself to be 'normal' again. She didn't want to have that conversation because she knew that her best friend could already tell why, and she knew that Quinn didn't really approve. Nonetheless, it was her decision and she had made up her mind about it. There was no going back now, so why even talk about it? Ignoring the elephant in the room seemed like the way to go.

She pulled her car into the cul-de-sac and suddenly frowned as she parked into her driveway next to her mother's SUV. The brunette looked over at Quinn as she shut the car off. "That's weird…Mom is home…"

Quinn simply shrugged her shoulders as she pulled her backpack onto her back and exited the car. It was strange that it was the middle of the day and Mama Lopez was already home. Typically Wednesday nights had been her late nights at the practice for the past few weeks. Usually, Mama Lopez was never home this early, even on an early night. The two teenagers entered through the front door.

Santana frowned at her mother as they both entered the kitchen. Her mom was reading the newspaper as she leaned onto the counter. "Hey mom, you are home early. Like…really early..." Santana trailed off as her frown deepened. "Is everything okay?"

Shelby looked up at the girls with a smile as she stood straight. "Hey girls, how was school?"

"Fine... what's wrong?" Santana asked again skeptically as her and Quinn both sat at the stools at the island.

Shelby shook her head with a smile. "Nothing is wrong. I took the afternoon off because I am going to bring you girls to the doctor in an hour and a half after picking up Rach, for your physical and urine test so we can get your paperwork turned in for competitive cheerleading on time."

Quinn swore that her heart stopped beating for a split second. "W-wait...Today?" She managed to choke out the two words as she suddenly felt her heart racing in her chest. She looked over at Santana nervously then back at Mama Lopez who had turned towards to refrigerator. Quinn gulped the ball that was forming in her throat.

Shelby had her head in the fridge as she pulled the mayonnaise and cheese from it, prepared to make tuna sandwiches for the girls. " Yes, your appointments are set. We are already cutting it extremely close. I told you girls this, remember? Cheer camp starts the Monday following final exams...you dont get a break this year. So we need those papers turned in ASAP. The next two weeks will be over before we know it." Shelby closed the fridge with her hip as she laid the contents in her hands on the counter and then searched through a few drawers to find the can opener.

Quinn couldn't believe this. There was no way she could do the urine test. If she did it then everyone would know. If the doctor found out then it would be real. She couldn't have that. Quinn felt her heart racing and felt her breathing growing more labored at the thought. She looked over at Santana, unsure of what she wanted her friend to do but all she knew was she needed Santana to do something. When Santana frowned at her in response it forced Quinn to remember that Santana was included in the list of people that she couldn't have know about her secret. The blonde suddenly looked back at Mama Lopez, forcing herself to focus on keeping her breathing calm.

"Is that really necessary? Can't you or Ruth just sign off on it?"

Shelby sighed as she turned around to face the teenagers while simultaneously mixing the contents together in a bowl for the sandwiches. "You know that that isn't how this works, Quinn. Why? Do you have plans for later that I don't know about yet?"

Quinn frowned. Shit. Lie, lie lie lie... "No. I was just going to go for a run..."

Santana looked at her friend skeptically. Was Quinn paler than usual? The brunette watched as the blonde's eyes shifted back and forth nervously. Why was she so nervous? Since when has Quinn cared about going to the doctors? This was something they did every single year for...Santana had lost track of how many years. She squinted her eyes at the blonde. "You can't do that after? The sidewalk will still be there."

"I mean….I can…."

Santana looked back at her mother before looking back at Quinn. "Then what is the big deal? We do this every year." She eyed her best friend again as she realized that Quinn wasn't really looking at anyone in the room. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Quinn snapped quickly. "I know we do this every year but… it is just annoying." The blonde wanted to kick herself. That was the best she could come up with? Seriously?

Santana slowly nodded her head. That made sense. Going to the doctors every year to do a stupid physical and pee in a cup was quite ridiculous, especially when neither of them had ever done drugs or were ever planning on doing them to begin with. They were both healthy and participated in seasonal cheerleading every year...so obviously they were fit enough for summer intensives, so why all the fuss about the stupid doctors? Quinn was right. Santana looked at her mom. "True."

Shelby rolled her eyes as she turned around and set plates in front of the two girls with tuna sandwiches and chips on each plate. "Annoying or not…if you want to participate in competitive cheerleading this season then the paperwork has to be filled out and completed by your physician." The mother looked at Quinn skeptically as she noticed the young girl's pale complexion. "It will be an hour tops for us to get you both in and out. Then maybe we can go out to dinner afterwards."

Quinn looked around the room nervously. What the hell was she going to do? Shit. "What about Rachel?" Quinn had no idea why she asked the question but she felt like she had to stall...or change the subject...or anything.

Shelby furrowed her eyebrows as she took in Quinn's body language. Something was up. She arched her eyebrows. "She'll be tagging along too of course. What's going on Quinn, darling?"

"Nothing. Nothing is going on. It just….It's just that it is our day off of cheer practice and now we have to go to the doctors."

"Yea mom, she has a point." Santana chimed in. "I do like having my Wednesdays off to do nothing after school."

Shelby continued to keep her eyes on Quinn as she spoke. "Well I'm sorry girls. Today worked in my schedule."

"We could have driven ourselves?" Quinn offered up as a not so worked out plan ran through her mind. It was instantly shot down.

"You two are 16 and 17, I'd like to be there. This isn't up for discussion. Appointments are set. Now go on and change, come back and eat your snack then both of you start your homework…we leave in a little over an hour."

Santana nodded as she climbed off her stool and began in the direction of the stairs to go change into something more comfy. She wasn't freaking out about going to the doctor's because this was the same doctor she had been to since she was really little. She knew how the routine went for this Cheer evaluation so she wasn't going to have any surprises. The brunette knew that she didn't have to even get undressed for this appointment and that was something that was calming her nerves immensely. She had scars on her stomach, ones that she hated, ones that made her sick if she looked at for too long...so she didn't want other people seeing them. She was glad that the physical was generally really quick and could be completed with them in their street clothes. This eased her panic a great deal. She couldn't help but think about how there was no reason to get so worked up over this visit as she climbed the stairs to her room. She didn't really understand why Quinn was getting all nervous and sweaty about it.

Before Quinn could disappear from sight, Shelby quickly stopped her. "Quinn?" She watched as the blonde paused and then watched as Santana continued on her way to her bedroom. Once she knew that Santana was out of earshot the mother began to spoke. "Is everything okay?"

Quinn continued to face away from Mama Lopez as she answered slowly. "Yea…"

Shelby raised her eyebrow as she took in Quinn's tense body language. "You sure?"

"Yea, I am sure." Quinn said all too quickly. The blonde sighed as she slowly turned around to face Mama Lopez. "Sorry. I didn't mean to give you an attitude…." Quinn looked up to meet the woman's gaze but then quickly looked at the tuna sandwich that was sitting on the island countertop instead. It was easier to look at than the woman who had given her everything as she lied. "I was looking forward to my run."

"Ok, that is understandable. I just..." Shelby opened her mouth to say something as she looked at Quinn but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Something was off about the young girl and she just couldn't place her finger on it. She had taken Quinn to the doctors for this typical physical so many times over the past 8 years that she has known the girl. Quinn's parents were either too busy or didn't want the 'burden' so Shelby hadn't minded bringing her along with Santana. This was the first time that Quinn had ever made a big deal about it and it was eating away at Shelby. She couldn't figure out why, and Quinn seemed to be sticking with her running story. The woman slowly shook her head as she looked at the young girl who was avoiding her gaze. "...Nevermind. You know that you can come to me if anything were ever wrong or upsetting you, right?"

Quinn's face faltered. She paused. "I..." she trailed off as the overwhelming sense of being caught off guard seemed to stop her tongue from working. Quinn managed to bring her eyes up to meet Mama Lopez's. She watched as the woman raised her eyebrows, waiting patiently for the young girl to continue. When the silence lasted longer than considered comfortable Quinn watched as the mother's face slowly turned to a frown with worry etched along her brows. Quinn quickly shook her head as she managed to find her mask and pull on a subtle smile. She couldn't do it, she had to change the subject. "I'm gonna go change clothes," she quickly stated.

Just like that, Quinn turned on her heel and began out of the room. "Quinn." Shelby called for the blonde to stop walking but to no avail. "Quinn!" Shelby yelled again after the girl who was already out of the kitchen and out of sight. Shelby sighed as she shook her head. What was going on?

...

An hour and a half later, Quinn, Santana, Shelby, Rachel and Ruth were all sitting in a row waiting in the doctor's office for the teenagers appointments. Much to Quinn's dismay, Ruth had been waiting at the office for the rest of the family to arrive when they had pulled up. The ride to pick Rachel up from school and then the ride to the doctor's office had been a fairly silent one, and now as they all waited for their names to be called it remained that way.

Quinn shook her head with frustration as she leaned forward in her seat to look a few chairs down where Ruth was currently sitting with a magazine in her lap. "Why is this like...a family deal?"

Ruth and Shelby exchanged a silent glance, which didn't go unnoticed by the blonde teen. Quinn suddenly put two and two together. Mama Lopez must have called Ruth after she fled from the room earlier. Clearly the two adults were worried about her, which didn't bode well with Quinn. She wanted as little attention on her as she could possibly get, yet here she was with the entire family waiting with her in the waiting room for a standard physical; something she should be fine with getting without any problems, something that she was terrified of doing in this moment in time for a reason that only she knew.

Ruth looked away from Shelby and back at the young blonde with a shrug. "Shel called and told me that you four were gonna get chinese after this visit...I couldn't pass up that opportunity obviously." She smiled kindly before looking back at her magazine.

"So you came to the doctor's with us too?" Quinn asked skeptically. She could tell that the woman was lying. She knew that the only reason Ruth came to the doctor's office was because she was expecting Quinn to pull her aside and talk to her about 'whatever was wrong with her', because that is most certainly the reason Shelby called Ruth away from work. It wasn't going to happen.

"We've been waiting forever!" Rachel suddenly whined. She looked next to her at her godmother, "Woowoo, can we leave?"

Before Ruth had a chance of answering her youngest goddaughter, Shelby beat her too it. "Boo, honey, once Sissy and Quinn go in it will only take 10 minutes before they are done. Just hold your horses okay?"

Quinn looked around the doctor's office and realized that her and Santana were most certainly going to be one of the next names called. The butterflies in her stomach started to fly around like crazy. She couldn't have everyone here. This wasn't going to work. She didn't want to pee in the cup...she couldn't. She needed Mama Lopez and Ruth to go somewhere else...and Santana and Rachel... Quinn shook her head as she sunk in her seat and began to pout. She knew that that would never happen. She was running out of time before her entire world was going to crash on top of her.

She started playing with the hem of her t-shirt as she focused on the perfectly sewn hem. "Don't you have like...patients and paperwork to get done? How does the practice run without either of its two owners there in the middle of the day?"

Santana looked next to her at her best friend. "Quinn, what's with all the questions? Ruth can be here if she wants to be here, leave her alone."

Quinn looked up at Santana and saw that the brunette's face had a weird look on it. She could feel Santana trying to read her own facial expressions to try to gauge what was going on but Quinn quickly shook her head and looked back down at her shirt before Santana could see anything at all. "I'm just saying..." Quinn said quietly.

"We have multiple doctors that work at the practice...you know that Quinn. They are more than capable of handling things so that Shel and I can get chinese." Ruth answered the surly teen.

Before anymore conversation could be said a lady clad in scrubs walked into the waiting room. "Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray?"

Quinn suddenly grasped the armrests of her uncomfortable chair strongly in her hands. What the hell was she going to do? She felt nauseous all of a sudden as Santana stood next to her and began to walk towards the nurse. Quinn felt like she was outside of her body as her body seemed to take a mind of its own and follow Santana's motions. The two girls walked behind the waiting room door to a long hallway where they paused at the nurses station. The nurse handed them both a small plastic cup and pointed to two separate doors, which Quinn assumed were the bathrooms. She wasn't listening. All she could hear was the inner voice inside her head, and it was yelling: Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Once inside her own bathroom she locked the door and sat on the closed toilet lid as she stared at her plastic cup. Every fiber in her being hated this little plastic cup. For some reason all she could think about was how much waste this doctor's office probably attributed to every single day...every year. The amount of plastic cups that got thrown in the trash were probably beyond ridiculous. She paused with a frown. Do they even throw them in the trash? No. They have special bins for biohazardous things...that's what this cup would be considered once urine was in it, right? Were there special landfills for bio-hazardous things to go to? Quinn nodded her head as she continued to study the cup. This doctors office probably has its own bio-hazardous dump site, filled with tiny plastic pee cups. Or do they burn it all? Maybe they burn everything, like a big bonfire... No. That was a dumb thought, she scolded herself. That would smell way too disgusting to do. Melted pee cups? Gross. Where do they pour the pee that they don't use? Does it just get poured down the sinks or does it too get poured into bio-hazardous jars that then go to the official special landfills with all the pee cups?

Quinn's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. The blonde dropped her cup onto the floor as she shot up into a standing position from the toilet. "Y-y-yea?" she stuttered as she looked at the locked door handle.

"Quinn? Is everything alright in there?" Mama Lopez's voice rang through the closed door.

Quinn frowned. What was Mama Lopez doing back here? The blonde quickly bent down and picked up her cup from the floor. How long had she been sitting there staring at it? "Uh...yea I'm good." She tried to answer as casually as she could.

"Open the door, sweetie." Mama Lopez called again.

Quinn hesitated as she looked at her empty cup. Shit. She slid her feet forward and unlocked the door, opening it slowly. As soon as the door was opened all the way, Quinn shoved the empty cup forward as she shook her head. "I don't have to go..."

Shelby frowned at the teenager. Santana had already finished her physical and the urine sample, they were all waiting on Quinn. Now she was finding out that the entire time the girl had been in the bathroom she hadn't even filled up the cup? She shook her head. "Quinn." The mother warned. "Come on, the quicker you do this the quicker we can leave."

Quinn shook her head now as she threw her hands up in the air. "Well I don't know what you want me to tell you, I don't have to pee. I tried. I just don't have to."

Shelby sighed as she looked to her side at the nurse who was standing within earshot for guidance. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Quinn lean forward out of the bathroom to see who the woman was looking at. The nurse shrugged her shoulders. "Dr. Lacey is ready for her now... she has a busy schedule, I don't know how much longer she'll be able to wait."

Shelby shook her head as she looked back at Quinn with a raised eyebrow. "Let's get you in for your physical at least...and maybe afterwards you can come back to that cup." Shelby pointed at the plastic that was still in Quinn's hand.

"Fine," Quinn stated with a huff. The strong surly attitude was just a cover. Deep down Quinn was shaking in her boots, so to speak. She felt her heart racing and had to work incredibly hard to keep her eyes from tearing up. Quinn shrugged her shoulders before following Mama Lopez down the hall to the room where her childhood doctor was waiting patiently.

As soon as they entered the room, Dr. Lacey stood with a bright smile on her face and gave the young girl a strong handshake. "Quinn, it's so good to see you again. It's already time for Cheerleading summer intensives again huh?" The doctor gave a light laugh. "Time sure does fly!"

All Quinn could do was nod her head with her fake smile plastered across her face as she watched the door close and Mama Lopez take a seat in the empty chair just inside the room.

"Well, let's start by getting you up on the scale shall we?" the doctor said with a cheery tone once everyone was settled. "We'll have you out of here in a jiffy."

...

Had she really gotten out of that without having to do the urine test? Quinn was now sitting at the chinese restaurant with the rest of the family as they all waited for their food to be brought to them. Everyone else at the table was deep in conversation about something or other, but her mind was racing on its own on what had just happened at the doctor's office. Once the simple physical was done, Quinn had just insisted that she didn't need to use the bathroom once more and the doctor waved it off like it was nothing and signed the paper anyway. Maybe it was because Quinn had been polite about it the second time around? Or maybe her innocent looking face made the doctor believe that the young blonde couldn't possibly get involved in things that would come back from a urine test like drugs or pregnancy? Or maybe it was simply because Dr. Lacey had been her doctor for so many years now, she knew that she could trust Quinn. Who knows, all Quinn knew was that she somehow managed to get out of it without raising even the slightest suspicion.

The blonde sat in shock and awe as she thought about it all. She had gotten away with it yet she couldn't bring herself to be happy about it because nothing about her situation that she was in was happy. She was lying...to everyone she loved. She was lying to herself. She hated it. Not having to do the urine test only reminded her that she had this huge thing she was hiding. It was too much to handle.

Suddenly she felt a nudge in her side, bringing Quinn back to the present as she shot her head over to look at her best friend with a frown. "What?" Quinn asked quickly.

Santana gave her a weird look, one that Quinn couldn't quite read but before the blonde had a chance to ask what was going on Santana turned to face the two adults that were sitting across the table from them. The brunette cleared her throat. "So, Quinn and I had a question for you Ma."

"You did?" Shelby replied with raised eyebrows.

Quinn raised her own eyebrows as she waited to hear what the question was that 'they' had to ask Mama Lopez. Santana continued, "Yea uh...we were wondering...this Friday... can we go to a party?"

The table was silent. Quinn watched as Ruth and Mama Lopez both exchanged a silent glance before looking back at the two teenagers. Quinn looked over at Santana again and just when the brunette was about to speak again, the eight year old on her other side cut her off. "You can't go." Rachel said bluntly as she looked up at her sister.

"Rach-"

"No!" Rachel said louder than anyone expected, earning a slight jump out of Santana. Rachel shook her head furiously. "You can't go!" she repeated. Her eyes begun to water as she looked across the table at her mother. "Mama, tell her she can't go. She shouldn't go."

Quinn looked at Santana's face and saw that her strong determined drive to go to this party was slowly melting away. She didn't want to really go to this party herself, but she knew deep down that Santana wanted to go in order to prove to herself that she was at least trying to get 'back to normal'. Her little sister was suddenly making her doubt herself; no eight year old should be able to do that. Quinn shook her head and leaned forward, looking around her silent best friend at Rachel.

"Rach, I'm gonna be there too..." Quinn offered. "And Brittany. You know Brittany. We'll be okay. Nothing is going to happen."

Rachel looked Quinn straight in the face as she shook her head, tears now falling down her cheeks. "But...but we thought that nothing would happen the first time and...and something did happen. Something really bad." Rachel shook her head again as she looked up at her sister, who was refusing to look at her. "I don't...I-I...Sissy. You can't go. Please." When the eight year old realized that Santana wasn't going to meet her gaze she gave up and looked across the table again. "Mama? Tell her no."

Shelby looked at Rachel sadly, unable to think of what to say. This was all a shock for her too. She hadn't imagined that Santana would want to go back to a party, not this soon after... The woman trailed off as she corrected herself. It had been over half a year, there wasn't anything 'soon' about it. Deep down she never wanted Santana to ever go to another party again, but she knew that was selfish of her to want. She wanted her daughter to enjoy a normal high school and college experience, and unfortunately parties here and there were always included in that. Shelby opened her mouth to finally speak but Rachel cut her off again.

The eight year old saw that her mother wasn't objecting along with her so she turned her head to look at her godmother with one last glimmer of hope. "Woowoo? Woowoo, please...she shouldn't go. right?"

Ruth sighed heavily as she stared at her crying goddaughter. "Boo-"

Rachel could hear the tone in the older woman's voice. "No!" Rachel screamed out as she slammed her open palms onto the table as hard as she could. The slam shook the table along with all of their drinks on it and made so much noise that those people in the restaurant that weren't already looking in their direction were now.

Santana gingerly pulled Rachel into her chest and hushed her as she planted a kiss on the top of her head. She looked around at the people who were looking at their family like they were all animals in an elaborate exhibit and shot them a warning glare to look away. When a few people complied Santana looked down at the crying eight year old in her arms. "Rachel, I'm fine sweetie. I'm going to be okay. I'm okay."

Shelby looked around their table and watched as people slowly went back to their own meals and stopped focusing on them. She sighed then looked at Rachel sadly before looking up at Santana and Quinn. The mother shook her head slowly and with a quiet voice she replied. "I don't know if it is a good idea girls..."

"I understand." Quinn said quickly, trying to mask the relief she felt for not needing to go to this party, even though a part of her was sorry for Santana's efforts being shut down so quickly.

Santana suddenly shook her head. She ran her fingers through Rachels hair once more before she gently pushed the younger girl off of her. She had to go to this party. It is something she needed to do. She needed to prove to herself that she is getting better... She didn't want what that man did to her to effect everything about her life. Her and Quinn had already told Brittany that they would go, so it needed to happen.

Santana nodded her head and sat up taller. "No. I'm the one that this happened to. I'm the one..." Santana trailed off as she looked her mother in the eyes directly. "You all have to trust me. I'm okay. I want to go to this party. Quinn and I will go together and it will be fine. I don't..." The brunette took a deep breath. "I don't want him to ruin everything. I'm 17. I'm supposed to be going to parties and have fun with my friends. I need to get out of the house. We don't have homework and exams start next monday. We both," Santana pointed to her best friend and herself, "always do our chores and we help out with Rachel's homework. We have good grades... We deserve to go to this party. I think we've earned it." She turned to face her little sister. "Rach, I'm going to be fine. This is something I want to do. Nothing is going to happen, I promise. Would I lie to you?"

Rachel hesitated. "No..." the eight year old finally mumbled.

Santana nodded her head. "Okay then." The brunette turned back to face her mother. "Ma, can we go to the party on Friday night then?"

Shelby hesitated as she chewed nervously on her lip. She turned and looked at her best friend for an answer. Ruth simply shrugged her shoulders in response to the silent question. Shelby sighed before looking back at her daughter and Quinn. "If you girls are sure..."

"We are sure." Santana said sharply.

Quinn didn't answer. Shelby frowned. "Quinn?"

Quinn shook her head as she reminded herself to stay focused, she had heard Mama Lopez ask her something but she didn't know what it was. "Hm?"

The mother raised her eyebrow as she looked at the young blonde. "Are you sure you want to go to this party?"

"I mean...yea...if it means this much to San...I will go." Quinn turned to look at her best friend and she was met by Santana giving her a weird look. She quickly adjusted herself and plastered a small smirk on her face so she could be more convincing. "It should be fun, it's just the hockey team's end of the year get together, so it will be them and then a few of the girls from the squad. Pretty low key." Quinn let out a small breath of relief as Santana nodded her head in agreement.

Shelby nodded her head slowly as she continued to bite her lip. She did realize that she had to trust her girls. They are smart and old enough and have been so great this year... they do deserve to have some fun. It was just hard to trust them when it wasn't really them that needed her trust...it was everyone that would come in contact with them that night that she was worried about. But if San was saying that she was ready then she had to trust that. "Okay... you two can go. Under a few conditions..." The mother looked back and forth between the teenagers. "You must stay together at all times."

"Definitely," Quinn agreed with a short nod of her head. That was not a problem at all.

Shelby continued, "You will call me when you arrive at the party and you will both have your cellphones on you at all times so that I can contact you if need be. You both have to promise me that if either of you want to come home, or need me for any reason: that you will call me."

"Or me." Ruth interjected.

Shelby agreed, "Or Woowoo." The mother paused as both of the girls nodded their heads, signaling that they understood the terms and that there wasn't any problem with what she had said. Shelby added one last thing: "And you have to be home no later than 11 p.m."

"That's more than fair. Thank you Ma, thank you so much." Santana said with a smile. Deep down her insides were doing flips, but she knew that it was something she had to do. If she forced herself to stick out this party then maybe she could get over her ridiculous triggers and fears...maybe she could be normal again.

...

**A/N Thank you all for your reviews and kind words. I really appreciate it. As most of you have pointed out...there has been a decent amount of time that has passed and I know that you all are getting frustrated with Quinn. But please keep in mind that she is a 16 year old girl who got impregnated by someone who barely anyone knew she was even sleeping with and that same jerk doesnt want anything to do with her now. On top of all of that, she is living in a house with a family that isn't obligated to love her, and since she was raised in an environment that made her feel like she was unloveable ...it only makes sense that Quinn wouldn't want to ruin the only happy home that shes ever known.**

**However! Obviously...a pregnancy is a pregnancy. Please don't get too frustrated with me because I promise I have a plan! Things are building. I would love to hear your thoughts, as always...so please review! Thanks again!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow! Thank you all for the reviews. I'm so grateful to all of you. It definitely helped put a fire under my butt to get this next chapter out! So get ready...this chapter is a doozy. **

**Chapter 7**

The week had passed and Friday was upon the teenagers. Suddenly the girl's found themselves at the party surrounded by music and a lot of large drunk hockey players and equally drunk cheerleaders. Everyone was laughing and having a great time. Everyone but Quinn and Santana...only they were so busy trying to convince everyone that they were fine that they didn't even admit it to each other.

Santana felt her heart racing in her chest and she was trying to convince herself that she was okay standing in the middle of this crowded room with all the yelling and blaring music. She was trying incredibly hard not to let her mind go to that dark place it constantly went to: the woods. She was trying really hard not to think about the reason why no one could hear her screaming for help that night: the blaring music. The brunette wanted to be able to enjoy this party. She wanted to be here because it was something she would have wanted to do before that awful night. She used to live for these things, yet in this moment every blood vessel in her body wanted to run out of the front door and not stop until she was home underneath her covers behind a locked front door. Nonetheless, she had an appearance to keep up. She had to be here because she wanted everyone to see that she was the same Santana she had always been...even though she really wasn't.

Quinn felt so exhausted she felt as if she could barely keep her eyelids open. She wasn't sure why she was so tired. Today had been a normal day just like every other day, she hadn't done anything special. She had even gotten a decent night sleep the previous night and everything, but for some reason here she was at not even 9:00 p.m. on a Friday night masking the fact that all she could think about was how the couch in the corner that three couples were using as a makeout area would make a wonderful bed.

Quinn looked over at Santana. She was swaying back and forth to the music as she grasped her cup of soda in her hand firmly. The brunette's knuckles were white, she was holding onto the cup so tightly, Quinn didn't even think that Santana realized she was doing it. The blonde noticed that Santana was zoned out staring off into the crowd as well. She looked over her shoulder to see if her best friend was looking at something or someone in particular but saw nothing noteworthy, which led her to conclude that Santana was lost in her own head.

"Puck! Puck! Puck! Puck!" Finn and a group of other guy's voices could be heard chanting suddenly from the other room. Quinn immediately looked in the direction that the noise was coming from with a scowl. She hated that even in a group of male voices she could still distinctly pick Finn's voice out from the crowd.

The blonde looked back at her best friend. Santana seemed oblivious to the fact that her ex-boyfriend's name was being chanted throughout the house. Quinn could only assume that he was doing one of his infamous keg stands with all the excitement and ruckus that was coming from the kitchen. The thought of it made Quinn roll her eyes. Thankfully the two of them had somehow managed to avoid both Puck and Finn for the most part since arriving an hour prior. Quinn wasn't sure if the boys had stayed out of the room on purpose or if they had just been lucky enough to not have a run in.

She sighed. Once all the cheering finally died down, Quinn turned her head back towards the couch. Regardless of all the people that were on top of it, it still looked completely welcoming and inviting. The blonde paused. Was that...? She nodded her head at herself. Once the blonde finally tore her eyes away from the couch and began to look at the people that were making out on it, she noticed that Brittany was one of those people. The girl had already been really drunk when her and Santana had arrived to the party...it didn't shock Quinn that Brittany had already found a guy, nor did it shock her that she was already on top of him making out on a sofa. It was the end of the school year, today had been the last day of real classes and they were all teenagers. Everyone was celebrating and having fun, which in this day and age meant booze and sex...for everyone but Quinn and Santana.

When Quinn finally looked back at her best friend she noticed that Santana was focusing on her. Quinn forced a smile to her face even though she felt as if the energy used to do it should be saved for something more important...like standing. "What's up?" she offered nonchalantly.

Santana shrugged her shoulder slowly. "Why do you look so tired?" Santana felt like she was shouting in order for her best friend to be able to hear her question.

Quinn felt her smile fade. "I don't know..."

Santana frowned at her best friend's sudden change in demeanor. "What is it?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Quinn said quickly as she looked away at Brittany and her guy friend again.

"Quinn?" Santana shouted to get her attention again.

Quinn reluctantly looked back at her best friend. "Yea?"

"What's going on with you?"

Quinn shook her head as she brought her cup up to her lips and took a sip of her soda. In this moment she couldn't help but wish that there was liquor in the cup as well. She sure as hell could have used it. As she brought her cup down, with an excuse of 'being fine' ready on the tip of her tongue to tell her best friend she felt everything start to play out in slow motion. The blonde watched as one of the nameless jocks from the hockey team stumbled over behind Santana, without the brunette's knowledge. Before Quinn could say anything, a blood curling scream ripped through the room as the guy had wrapped his arms around Santana from behind in attempt to pull her into him for a quick sloppy dance. Everyone in the house seemed to go silent as all their eyes scanned and searched the room for the origin of the ear piercing scream; however, all anyone could see was a blur that was once Santana as she ripped herself from the boy's arms and sprinted out of the room and out of the front doors of the house. "What the helllllllll?" Quinn could hear the hockey player slur just before she took off after her best friend.

The blonde was so thankful that she had chosen to wear flats to the party as she ran down the street after Santana at full speed. She ignored the wet spot on her shirt from where she had splashed her soda when Santana's scream had erupted through the room as she continued to chase her friend. Suddenly, Santana stopped running causing Quinn to nearly topple over her. The brunette hunched over with her hands on her knees as she panted harshly in attempt to slow her heart rate. Quinn slowly approached her best friend as she watched the brunette battle with herself. It looked like Santana was trying extremely hard not to throw up all over the sidewalk, the sight of her friend's struggle made Quinn's heart ache.

"San?" Quinn offered quietly.

Santana shook her head as she clung onto her knees in order to keep herself on her feet. All these images of the night in the woods, and the night her rapist broke into her house were rushing through her mind. She could feel his hands all over her and she could hear his voice in her ear. The brunette swallowed the harsh lump that was in her throat as she felt her mouth run dry. She didn't want to throw up. She couldn't. "Damn it!" She suddenly screamed as she let out a small sob.

"Santana... it's okay..." Quinn attempted calm down the brunette but was quickly cut off.

"It's not! It is NOT OKAY!" Santana shot up to a standing position ignoring that her world was still spinning slightly to catch up with her. She looked her best friend deeply in the eyes. "It's not."

Quinn nodded her head. "You are right. It isn't okay. You shouldn't have to feel like this, you did nothing wrong. You don't deserve-"

Santana quickly shook her head, not wanting to hear anything that Quinn was about to say. She already knew. Her mom had told her, Quinn had told her, her therapist had told her, all the cops and detectives and lawyers and doctors have told her... 'this wasn't her fault', 'she shouldn't be mad at anyone but Guillermo', 'things will get better'. Santana continued to shake her head. She didn't want to wait for things to get better she just wanted to BE better.

"I can't...I can't be here. I thought I could. I thought..." Santana let out a small sob again. She looked over her shoulder at the house down the street. All the people in that house were probably talking about how much of a freak she was right now. "Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!" The brunette smacked her forehead with her open palm. "So stupid! I-I s-screwed up!"

"No, San, you didn't."

"I need to leave." Santana suddenly said quickly. "I need to leave right now."

Quinn looked at her best friend sadly. Sure she had been wanting to go home since they arrived at the party...but she didn't want this to be the reason they had left the party. Quinn understood, she nodded her head, "Come on. I'll drive us home."

...

Shelby heard keys jingling at the front door from where she was sitting in the den. She looked at the clock and frowned when she noticed that it was only a few minutes past 9:00 p.m. The mother slowly set down the magazine she was reading as she stood up from the couch and made her way to the front door. She had given the girls an 11:00 p.m. curfew… Being home two hours early wasn't like them at all. Shelby shook her head as she corrected herself. It wasn't like how they used to be…before everything got flipped upside down thanks to that awful man.

Shelby was met with the two teenagers walking slowly through the front door just as she approached it. Her heart was already pounding in her chest with anticipation. She had been worried about how tonight would go for the two girls seeing as how it was their real first night out since Santana's attacks. Seeing the looks on both of their faces made her stomach drop. Something had happened, it was written all over their faces.

"Is everything okay?" Shelby asked as she greeted Quinn with a kiss on the cheek. The woman went to kiss Santana the same way, but the brunette's head was so bowed down she had to kiss her on the top of her head instead. She took a step back and frowned at the silence. "Girls?"

Quinn looked over at Santana sadly. Her best friend hadn't said a word during the entire ride home. Sure Quinn had spoken a great deal… the blonde had offered reassuring words left and right but it was like she was talking to a zombie. Santana just wasn't really there. Quinn looked away from Santana and up at Mama Lopez. When she saw the worry begin to grow on the older woman's face she was reminded that she had asked them a question. Quinn knew that she had to answer the question in order to ease Mama Lopez's anxiety, but she also knew that her question was a tricky one. Everything wasn't okay, not even close.

"We are fine…. We just…" Quinn trailed off as she looked over at Santana again who was still standing silently next to her with her head hung extremely low. The blonde didn't know what to say to the mother because she didn't know what Santana wanted her mom to know and what she didn't want her mom to know. Was she supposed to lie? Quinn inwardly rolled her eyes at herself…Santana looked like someone had killed her dog….lying wasn't an option. It was obvious that something was wrong and that something had happened… but Quinn didn't want to be the one to break the news to Mama Lopez. It wasn't her story to tell. So she remained silent.

Shelby looked from Quinn over at her daughter and waited for Santana to speak. When the brunette didn't, Shelby gently reached out and lifted her daughter's chin in order to meet her gaze. She noticed that the young girl's eyes were puffy. She had been crying. The sight of it broke Shelby's heart. "Oh baby…" she said sadly as she cupped her chin in her hand. "What happened?"

Santana licked her lips slowly as she opened her mouth to answer her mother. "I just…had a meltdown." Her voice was low. "It was stupid."

Quinn shook her head strongly. "It wasn't stupid. Stop saying that. It is understandable Santana." The blonde repeated again, something she had said over and over on their journey home.

Shelby dropped her hand from her daughter's face as she took a step back so she could look at both of the girls. "What happened?" she asked again with a sigh.

Santana remained silent, forcing Quinn to answer for her person. She sighed, hating to be the one to tell, but knowing that it was what her best friend needed. "This guy who is on the hockey team came up behind San and… kinda wrapped his arms around her." She saw Mama Lopez's questioning gaze. "He was going to hug her or dance with her or something…" she clarified with a shrug before continuing. "Anyway…San, wasn't expecting it… so it shook her up a little."

Santana scoffed next to her best friend. "A little?" She finally lifted her head and looked at Quinn and her mother before shaking her head. "God. He is going to think I am such a freak... it is going to be all over school. I-"

Quinn shook her head strongly, cutting off her best friend. "No it isn't San, stop freaking out. He was so drunk he probably didn't even know it was you to begin with. He won't even remember."

Shelby lifted an eyebrow at the girls. "Drunk?" she asked with a warning tone as she took in the teenagers appearances again.

Quinn wished she could have smacked herself but that would have been a dead give away. "I mean..." she was trying to quickly come up with a way to rework the last thing she had said but was failing miserably at coming up with something that made sense that didn't dig her hole deeper. When she looked up at Mama Lopez's face she noticed the challenging look she was giving her then the blonde noticed the older woman had her hand on her hip. This was the 'I-mean-business' stance. Shit. Quinn slowly hung her own head with a shrug, knowing that there was no way getting out of this one. "There was drinking," The blonde truthfully acknowledged before quickly looking the mother in the eyes and continuing. "But San and I didn't drink any alcohol at all. I promise. Not even a sip."

Shelby continued to hold Quinn's gaze to see if she would back down and change her story again, but when the blonde didn't the mother instantly felt a sense of relief. She looked over at Santana who was again hanging her head... The mother wondered if the teenager had even heard her friend admit that there had been underage drinking at the party they had just come from or if she was too much in her own world to even care. She took in the sight of the two girls and could clearly see that the two of them had not been drinking. Shelby looked back at Quinn and gave a small nod, signifying that she believed her and that it was okay.

With a sigh Shelby looked back at her daughter. "San, hunny, it is okay to have triggers."

Santana looked up at her mom with angry furrowed brows. "Someone putting their arm around me shouldn't be one."

Shelby slowly shrugged her shoulders as she slowly reached out and stroked her daughter's cheek. "Well it is, and you are working on it with therapy so for the time being don't beat yourself up over it. You made a huge step tonight by even going to that party in the first place, and for that I am extremely proud. We all are."

Santana couldn't look into her mother's sincere eyes anymore, not when she felt so disgusting and stupid again. She looked over at Quinn who was nodding her head in agreement and couldn't help the heavy sigh that was released from her lungs. After a beat of silence all the brunette could do was agree in order to get out of the situation and be allowed to go to bed. "Okay..."

...

Santana stomped into Quinn's room as she plopped down on the blonde's bed. She had just arrived home from her 'emergency' therapist appointment and was not in the best of moods. She knew that if she went to any other room in the house she might be responsible for destroying something or maybe even murder. She was pissed that her mom made her go to her therapist, but most of all she was pissed at herself for needing it. Today wasn't a scheduled therapy day, yet here she was just after 2:00 p.m. on a Saturday arriving home from what felt like the most useless therapy session in the world. Santana huffed as she shook her head at herself. She couldn't deal with another talk with her mother right now, and she most certainly couldn't deal with Rachel's millions of questions. Quinn was her person...she knew exactly what to say or what not to say and so for that reason as soon as she had gotten home, Santana had chosen to storm up the stairs and directly to Quinn's bed and now here she sat.

Quinn looked over her shoulder from her desk at the brunette who was slouched over on the edge of her bed. The blonde had been sitting in her room lost in thought, thinking about how she had almost made it through the end of the school year without any more bad run ins with Finn. As she sat in her quiet room and thought about this she couldn't help but feel thankful once she realized that once this next week was done...she wouldn't have to see him ever again since he was scheduled to graduate this year. Santana barging in had definitely interrupted her thought process, but it was something Quinn was also grateful for. She really shouldn't be thinking about that asshole, he didn't deserve it.

As Quinn took in Santana's silent form she could tell by her heavy breathing and body posture that the brunette was angry. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Santana was angry at herself, more than she was angry at any one person or thing. Quinn hated that, but she understood it. Hell, she hated herself for so many things, a lot of which Santana had tried time and time again to reassure her wasn't something she should hate herself for. But words only went so far. She knew it, and Santana knew it. That's why sometimes...the best thing to say...was nothing at all. Quinn knew that Santana just needed her to be here for her in this moment and time. She could see that her best friend just needed silence, and that was something she would give her.

Finally Santana looked over at Quinn, deciding to break the silence. "Listen to this bullshit," Santana said as she opened up the pamphlet her therapist had handed her at the end of her latest session. It was titled: _Being a Survivor._ She began to read. "It says:_ 'to be a rape survivor suggests that one is in control and that the rapist, the criminal justice system, and the public have not succeeded at totally demolishing one's self-concept.'_" Santana scoffed as she tossed the pamphlet over her shoulder onto Quinn's bed. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest as she looked back at her best friend. "That is so enlightening. I am so glad my therapist had me read that." The brunette said sarcastically.

Quinn raised her eyebrows. "...Have not succeeded at _totally_ demolishing one's self-concept..." she repeated what Santana had just read aloud.

"At least they included the word 'totally'. Because he..." Santana trailed off suddenly losing her fire. She shook her head. "All of this...this whole thing, the whole process... along with him... and even my stupid therapist... it has definitely taken a toll on my 'self-concept'." Santana weakly put finger quotes around the last phrase as she spoke it. She looked down at the bed behind her where the pamphlet was with a heavy sigh.

Quinn just watched her friend silently as Santana seemed to get lost in her head again as she stared at the tossed pamphlet.

"I just want to be normal." Santana said weakly, breaking the silence.

"Don't we all..." Quinn nodded in agreement quietly.

Santana looked back up at her best friend. "How do I get my self-concept back? I want it all back..."

Quinn tilted her head and gave her best friend a sad smile. She hated seeing her like this, but unfortunately it wasn't too rare so Quinn was beginning to get used to it. Sadly. "San...I..." Quinn trailed off as she thought about her own 'self-concept'. Her own perception of herself had been in the garbage for years. The blonde had never thought much of herself thanks to growing up in a household that reminded her of how useless and unimportant she was everyday. It was why it had always been so hard for Quinn to accept compliments from others. It was why it has always been so hard for her to accept the Lopez family's love without question. And now, even more so than ever...with everything she was trying so hard not to think about... Quinn shook her head. The secret she was hiding only justified every negative thing that she thought about herself. "I wish I knew."

...

Somehow it was Sunday afternoon. This weekend had seemed to fly by, even with all the drama. Santana couldn't help but feel thankful that her, Rachel and Quinn were all huddled on the family room couch watching a movie together while her mom was at work. A movie meant that Rachel would be quiet and wouldn't be asking a million questions about the party and if she was okay, like she had done the entire day prior. She understood the eight year old's worries but hated that her little sister knew all that she did because of her. A movie was just what she needed.

Santana looked next to her at her baby sister who was wrapped around her right arm as she zoned out at the TV screen with an open mouth. Rachel had also been extremely clingy since finding out about the party and especially after finding out that her big sister had to go to therapy the morning after the party as well. Again, Santana couldn't blame her... but it still was something that she wished she could make the eight year old stop. With a roll of her eyes, Santana looked over at Quinn and then immediately frowned. Quinn was fast asleep and according to the puddle of drool taht could be seen on the pillow, she had been for a while. Santana shook her head. Maybe if her best friend wasn't running herself into the ground then she wouldn't be so tired all the time.

Rachel's voice suddenly broke Santana's thoughts. "Do you know what Mama is going to be making for Sunday dinner when she gets home from work?"

Santana peeled her eyes away from Quinn to look down at Rachel who was now looking up at her. "Not a clue." she shrugged simply.

Rachel nodded as she nuzzled her head back into Santana's arm. "I hope its something good," she said as she looked back at the TV screen.

"It's always good, boo."

"Yea..." Rachel agreed before suddenly pulling herself away from Santana and looking up at her sister with a huge bright smile on her face. "I hope it's something like...grilled cheese!"

Santana frowned at her little sister's obnoxious smile. "Grilled cheese?" Seriously? That was something that deserved such a big smile and all that excitement? Santana shook her head. "No Rach...that's not something we have for Sunday dinner. It'll probably be something like Chicken Parm or Lasagna or something with fish..."

Rachel frowned. "But grilled cheese is really good too."

Santana couldn't control her laugh. She rolled her eyes and started to respond to Rachel's last statement but was cut off by the shrill sound of her cell phone ringing. The brunette instantly paused and gave a small frown as she dug in the couch cushions for her phone. Her frown faultered into a smirk when she found it and saw who was calling. It was Mike. Santana instantly stood from the couch as she looked away from her phone at her kid sister with a smile. "I'm gonna take this call but then afterwards... how about I make us all grilled cheese for lunch?"

"YES!" Rachel exclaimed as she bounced up and down on the couch with a huge smile.

Santana let out a small chuckle again as she began to walk away to the front room. "Okay I'll be right back," she called over her shoulder as she made her way to the library for some privacy.

"Hello?" She answered as she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Santana? Hey!" Mike's smooth voice rushed through the phone.

"Hey Mike...what's...uh what's up?" Santana asked as she took a seat in one of the chairs.

"Oh nothing...I was just thinking about you so I figured I'd give you a call...and see how your weekend was going?"

Santana looked around room she was in at the moment as she thought about a good answer for the boys question...but again her pause made Mike nervous so he continued talking.

"Okay...that was lame...honestly I just wanted to hear your voice." Mike said with a nervous laugh.

Santana gave a small laugh in return. "That's really nice. Um well my weekend has been...alright." She shrugged her shoulders at herself.

"That's good to hear." Mike responded. Silence overtook the call so Mike decided to speak again. "So uh...did you end up going to the hockey team's party Friday night? I heard it was party of the year."

Santana froze a little at the cute boy's question. She cleared her throat as she reminded herself that he was waiting on the other side of the line for her to answer. "Um...yea I went for a little. It was alright. Were you there?" She waited nervously for his answer. She was hoping that he hadn't been there...or heard of the crazy girl who ran screaming from the party. She was hoping that somehow that wasn't being talked about among everyone in the school, but more than anything she was hoping that no one knew that it was her if they were talking about it.

"Nah...that's not really my scene. I prefer a night in to a crazy wild party any night."

Santana let out a breath of relief. She was starting to like Mike too much to already scare him away with all of her... complications. "Yea?"

Mike quickly responded. "Yea...something about loud awful music and needing to scream at the top of your lungs in order to communicate with the person standing 2 feet away from you...doesn't appeal to me too much."

Santana nodded her head as she held the phone against her ear. She felt relief and for the first time began contemplating something that the "old her" wouldn't have even thought was possible. Maybe she could be someone like Mike. She shrugged her shoulders. She really should just come to accept that this "new her" doesn't like parties anymore. Mike reminded her that there really were teenagers out there, awesome ones, who don't like to party. He reminded her that it is acceptable to feel that way and still be a "cool" person. She felt a smile creep onto her face.

Mike hit his palm of his hand to his forehead. Santana's silence was interpreted incorrectly by the boy. He quickly covered himself. "But I mean, I could definitely see how people would think that would be fun..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to come off like I think anyone who goes to parties are stupid..because I obviously don't feel that way. I just mean that-"

Santana smiled at Mike's rant and finally cut him off. "Mike, Mike. It's okay," she gave a short laugh. "I didn't think you meant that at all. I'm sorry I just got distracted, I'm back now though."

"Whew. Santana Lopez you don't know how nervous you make me." Mike stated bluntly.

"Me?" Santana asked as she felt butterflies flutter in her stomach. "Why would you feel nervous around me?"

"Are you kidding? You're... gosh. You are so smart, and witty and funny...and you have this mysterious side about you. You are in your own head a lot...and I respect people like that so much because it means you have a lot to say but you choose to think it over rather than just blurting out your every thought and feeling. I mean...I'm constantly wondering what is going on in that beautiful head of yours but I know that if or when you decide to open it and share it with me...it will make me feel that much more special, because you are really private. You protect yourself and I think that is admirable. Then on top of that you are an absolutely stunning person, inside and out." Mike took a deep breath as he realized he hadn't breathed through that entire last rant. Once he let out a deep breath he smiled into the phone. "So for all those reasons and more...I..." he chuckled at himself. A bad nervous habit he had. "I was wondering if maybe you'd wanna go on another date with me?"

Santana felt herself smile as all the kind words that Mike had just said settled in her head. She felt her pulse racing at the thought of going on another date with Mike...but for the first time in a long time...it wasn't in a bad way. Her increased heart rate was because she was more than excited to hold hands and hang out with the cute teenage boy again. Her smile grew even wider as she responded. "I would like that a lot."

...

Quinn wasn't feeling good after the grilled cheese...something about the melted cheese oozing onto her plate made her stomach churn. She shook her head. The thought of it was making her nauseous all over again. The blonde sighed as she looked back down at her study guide. Exams started tomorrow. One more week and school would be done for the year. Thank god. Quinn looked up and noticed that it was nearly 5:00 p.m. already. Had she really spent the majority of her Sunday hidden away in her room after that grilled cheese incident? She shook her head at herself. Time flies... in a few hours Mama Lopez would be home...and Sunday dinner would be served and she would be expected to sit and eat and pretend everything is just fine and normal. She felt herself sigh. Wearing her mask was getting more and more tiring. She shook her head, she had no other choice. As soon as she picked up her pencil and looked back down at her study guide there was a knock at her door.

Santana walked in and noticed Quinn sitting at her desk. Had she really been studying all this time? Jeez, no wonder why she got straight A's. When the brunette noticed that Quinn was looking at her with a raised eyebrow, she took another step into the room. "Hey," she said quickly.

"What's up?" Quinn asked.

"Are you seriously studying this much for exams?" Santana asked with a smile.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Some of us aren't as naturally smart as you are San, some of us actually have to study."

"Yea yea yea..." Santana shook her head as they both smiled quietly. They always got into these play 'fights' about how the other person was smarter. The truth was they both were on top of their class and they both got straight A's... they were just competitive with each other, and always had been. It was a playful competition, year after year.

Santana looked back at her best friend. "Anyway," The brunette pointed over her shoulder. "I ran out of tampons, can I grab some of yours? I know mom got you one of those gigantic boxes a while ago."

"Of course, knock yourself out," Quinn said quickly, making sure a fake smile was plastered across her face.

The fake smile worked. Santana smiled gratefully. "Thanks!" she shouted before quickly exiting the room to make her way to Quinn and Rachel's bathroom that they shared.

As soon as her best friend was out of sight, Quinn felt herself deflate. She slumped over in her chair and laid her head on the desk with a thud. The shame and guilt of her secret was eating away at her, soon there would be nothing left of what was once Quinn Fabray. She had been trying to stay distracted for so long that she had been almost able to forget about it on a daily basis. It wasn't something that was always on her mind...even though deep down Quinn knew that it should be. It was only something that she would think of off and on, and that was working for her. However, the 'on' times had been more frequent lately as she began to get sick more often and feel exhausted more and more.

The blonde hit her head on the desk again with another thud. Tampons. She hadn't needed those in a while… she shook her head. Pregnant woman don't need tampons..because they don't have periods….because they are pregnant. Quinn felt tears begin to sting her eyes so she quickly shook her head in order to attempt to shake the whole thought process out of her mind. She finally picked up her head and looked down at her study guide solemnly. She needed to focus on this study guide, if she could do that then she could mute out any other thoughts about... The blonde shook her head again. Focus, she told herself.

At that moment Quinn heard her bedroom door shut quickly. The blonde frowned and turned in her seat prepared to yell at whoever had shut her door but then immediately froze when she saw Santana leaning against the now closed door. She raised her eyebrows and was about to ask what the brunette was thinking when suddenly she couldn't find any words. Quinn's eyes darted down to the unopened box of tampons that her best friend was holding. She felt her face falter as she forced herself to meet Santana's gaze. The brunette's face was full of confusion as Quinn felt her best friend's eyes piercing her own.

"Mom bought these for you…like…two periods ago..." Santana suddenly stated.

"What?" Quinn asked simply. It had been that long, really?

Santana's eyes grew wide. "Don't do that….don't do that thing."

Quinn's eyes darted back and forth between Santana and the box in her hands. "What thing?"

Santana pointed at Quinn. "THAT THING!" She yelled out louder than she had realized. The brunette felt her heart racing. She shook her head and crossed Quinn's room quickly. She stood right next to Quinn's chair and set the box of tampons on top of the papers that were on the blonde's desk. She lowered her voice, "The thing you do when…you pretend that you didn't hear something and answer with a question in order to buy you more time to think of an answer."

Quinn felt her own heart racing as she stared at the box that now was sitting in front of her. "What?"

"Quinn." Santana scolded strongly.

The blonde shook her head and forced herself to focus. She let out a quivering sigh, one that she hoped the brunette standing next to her didn't hear. She sat up taller in her chair. "San…I'm trying to look over this study guide. Take the tampons. Take the whole box it's fine."

Santana's eyes grew wide. "No, it's not. Because those are the only ones in your bathroom."

Quinn reached over and pushed the offending box to the edge of her desk as she picked up her study guide with her other hand and pretended that it was the most interesting thing in the world. "I'll get more. It's not a big deal, jeez."

Santana felt her heart beating fast. Her best friend was acting strange...she wasn't meeting her gaze...She shook her head. "What is going on?" When the blonde didn't answer, Santana tried again. "Quinn?"

Quinn refused to look at Santana because she could feel the tears in her eyes again. This couldn't be happening. She looked at the paper in her hands as she spoke, thankful that her voice wasn't cracking. "Seriously Santana, I don't know if your period hormones are making you crazy right now or if there is a weird phase of the moon tonight but just drop it…you are being weird." Quinn bit her lip as she felt her heart racing beyond control.

"No Quinn." Santana said strongly as she swatted the papers that her best friend was holding back down to the desk. Quinn still didn't look up at her. "I'm not the one being weird. You've been….off lately. Different." She shoved the box of tampons back in front of Quinn again. "I know for a fact that mom bought those for you two periods ago because I was with her when she bought them." She looked intently at Quinn, "Why aren't they opened?" she asked again bluntly.

"I...I don't know..." the blonde muttered quietly. She couldn't think of anything else to say. Quinn squeezed her eyes shut at the lame answer.

"You don't know?" Santana's voice was laced with attitude, but it was only because she was starting to feel sick to her stomach. She needed her best friend to look her in the eyes and tell her a legitimate excuse why those tampons weren't open. She needed an answer because her mind was racing. "What...what does that mean?"

Quinn let out another quivering breath as she tried incredibly hard to keep it all together. "Santana...I..." the blonde trailed off as she looked at the box of tampons intently...hating them with every fiber of their being.

Santana suddenly gasped. "Oh my God, Quinn...are you late? Have you even realized?…." Santana trailed off as she thought about how busy Quinn had been lately. Her eyes grew wide as she took in Quinn's demeanor. Her best friend still wasn't meeting her gaze. Her heart felt like it was in her throat now. "Quinn…Ma bought these two times ago." she pointed again at the tampons.

"I know, you said that." Quinn suddenly snapped at Santana.

"Oh. My. God." Santana whispered.

Quinn finally looked at her best friend. She didn't want to do this. She couldn't do this. "San-"

The brunette cut her off as she took a step back. "Quinn…we… we need to get you a pregnancy test."

Quinn felt her breath freeze in her chest. "No..." Quinn shook her head slowly as she somehow managed to choke out the word. "No-"

"Yes Quinn!" Santana cut her off again. "Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my..." Santana begun pacing around the room as she started chanting the mantra. All Quinn could do was stare with wide tear filled eyes. Santana suddenly stopped her pacing. "Ok. Don't freak out." She wasn't sure if she was telling Quinn or herself in this moment. She walked back up to the chair Quinn was sitting in. "We can go get one after exams tomorrow-"

"San no, I can't..." Quinn could barely see through the tears that brimmed her eyes and threatened to spill as she shook her head slowly. Everything was tumbling apart...but it was like it was happening in slow motion which was even worse.

Santana saw the tears in Quinn's eyes and knelt down next to her friend as she grabbed her hand. "Quinn, I know this is scary but I'll be there the whole time. Maybe it's just because you've been so stressed running yourself so thin with all the extra cheer practice and workouts you've been doing, and all the homework and projects you've volunteered to do…"

Quinn couldn't help the sob that was released from her mouth as she begged her friend. "San please-"

Santana cut her friend off again with a squeeze of her hand. She forced a smile to her face in attempt to calm down the blonde. "Quinn you probably aren't. You are probably right…its probably me just being crazy because of my period…but you haven't opened the tampons and maybe it's because you've been so busy, your body has been thrown off...but maybe-"

Quinn suddenly pulled her hand free from Santana's. "Stop." she said fiercely.

"Quinn. You need to take a test." The brunette said as she stood up again. Santana wasn't backing down from this. "We can do this and then once you get the answer you can know and then we can go from there."

She shook her head quickly. "No.…I'm not gonna do that…"

Santana looked at Quinn seriously. "Quinn, you have to know. This isn't something that's just gonna go away. If it's negative then great, you can make fun of me then...but if it's positive…." Her momentum slowed at the mere thought. "Then….you need to know because you have to start figuring out what you are going to do. It won't just go away." she said again.

Quinn had had enough. She slammed her hands down onto the desk and snapped her head at her best friend. "I know that!" She screamed. Once the shock of her loud outburst had faded from the room, Quinn lowered her voice as her eyes began to glaze over. "I...I...I know that..."

The blonde felt the tears that had previously brimmed her eyes begin to fall down her face. She quickly wiped away the wetness as she zoned out while staring at her desk top. Santana had been right. She could try to run from this problem all she wanted...but the fact of the matter was...that this was a part of her and she wouldn't ever be able to get away from it. She let out a small sob. Santana was right, she repeated in her head. This wasn't just going to go away. She had made the stupid decision and now she was stuck with the consequences. She just didn't know how to face them. Time had flown by so quickly and she had almost been able to pretend it didn't exist... She shook her head as more tears fell. Pretending was easier. She wasn't able to face the facts just yet. Her birthday was in less than a month. She would be 17. She couldn't be 16 and pregnant... that was the title of that dumb ass MTV show... Quinn wiped at her tears again. Maybe if she just...if she just waited a month...then she could accept it. Then she would...deal with...it.

Santana watched her best friend start to tear up and zone out as she stared off into space at her desk. She watched Quinn closely as she started to piece together the puzzle for herself. Santana felt the color drain from her face. Suddenly it was like she was smacked in the face with the answer to Quinn's unusual behavior for the past... how long had it been? She felt her eyes grow wide with realization. Quinn wasn't freaking out because she was nervous about taking a test...she was freaking out because she had already taken one. "Oh my god, Quinn-" The words flew from her mouth before she could control them.

Quinn snapped her head over in her friend's direction instantly. She cut Santana off before she could go any further. She couldn't hear her person say the words. "Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up." She was shaking her head as she spoke rapidly.

Santana's jaw dropped as she took in the look on her best friend's extremely pale and tear stained face. She swore that her stomach had dropped into her intestines, as she realized that she was right. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at the blonde. "Are you-"

Quinn stood up from her chair quickly, again cutting Santana off with her words. "Don't you dare say it." She snapped fiercely. "Don't you dare." She warned.

Santana felt her own eyes sting with tears as she took in her friend's stance. Quinn was speaking venomously, but it wasn't out of anger like one would think. She was speaking out of complete fear and panic. Quinn's eyes were wide as she was watching her. The blonde's chest was moving heavily up and down as she breathed out ragged breaths. Her eyes were lined with fresh tears that were threatening to spill at any moment. Santana swore that the world had stopped spinning. Everything felt frozen in place as they looked at each other. The truth and realization of the situation was standing right in front of her. "Quinn…" She breathed her best friend's name out so quiet that it was barely a whisper.

Quinn shook her head as the tears that were previously brimming her eyes again begun to fall. "Please," she begged her friend quietly. "Please..."

"Oh my God..." Santana heard herself breathe slowly.

The brunette stood awkwardly straight in front of her best friend as she searched Quinn's eyes. She looked deep into them silently asking the question that Quinn didn't want her to speak aloud. The brunette's heart felt like it ripped in half when her best friend answered with a slow nod; her lip trembling as tears rushed down her face. All Santana could do in response was slowly shake her head as she felt her mouth drop open with realization and shock. Even though Quinn's nod was small, even though no words were spoken, it felt like the blonde had screamed it from the rooftops.

Quinn Fabray, her best friend, her person...is pregnant.

...

**A/N: Dum dum duuuuuum. So a couple of you picked up on the fact that Quinn's period cycle would obviously be off...or non existent rather. Yes. It was bound to be discovered one way or another, and a couple month old unopened box of tampons is a dead give away.**

**I love the feedback I receive from all of you. It is much appreciated. Sorry for any grammar mistakes or typos! I'm posting this just as I run out the door for class! Hope you enjoyed it. Have a great day.**

**-E**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey everyone! Oh my goodness! Let me just say that I was overwhelmed with all the reviews I received last chapter. They all meant so much to me. Thank you all so much! Yes, now the secret has been revealed!**

**I wanted to apologize for the length of this chapter and how long it took me to post. I have a lot going on in my personal life that isn't so fun at the moment and it has consumed a lot of my time. I wanted this chapter to be longer and wanted to get it posted awhile ago, but life seemed to have other plans for a loved one of mine. So I have been busy with that. I hope you all do enjoy this chapter nonetheless. Sorry for any typos I have missed. **

**Chapter 8**

Quinn is pregnant. Quinn is pregnant. Quinn is pregnant. The thought kept repeating itself in Santana's head over and over as she felt the tears that welled in her eyes slowly drip down her face. She slowly looked down at Quinn's stomach before looking up at her silently crying friend. Was this really happening? How the hell was this happening right now? Santana finally found her words. "I...I thought that you and Finn don't see each other anymore...I thought...I thought that was done?" Santana heard herself ask.

Quinn darted her eyes down to the carpet at her best friend's sudden question. The realization that her secret she had kept hidden for so long had been discovered was making her heart race. "It is. We haven't... he hasn't..." Quinn looked over at her window silently unable to finish the sentence. The tall jock hadn't climbed through it in months. Quinn squeezed her eyes shut. She shouldn't have let him climb through it at all. If she hadn't then she wouldn't be standing here in this position.

"You've...you've been sleeping with someone else?" Santana asked innocently, trying to understand as best she could with her friend's few words.

Quinn opened her eyes and looked at her friend again. She bit her lip to keep from sobbing out as she shook her head. She swallowed her sob and responded, "No... no it was only him since..."

Santana's eyebrows creased together. She couldn't understand what her friend was saying. If Quinn was only sleeping with Finn since moving into her house, but they had been over for a while...then how?... She found her words as she met Quinn's eyes again. "I thought you said that you stopped seeing him in like...the beginning of April?"

Quinn's sob wasn't able to be controlled any longer. It ripped through the room. She instantly put her hand over her mouth as she felt more hot tears rush down her cheeks. All she could do was nod her head.

Santana was already worried, but now she was beginning to feel terrified for her best friend. Her loud sob had felt like it ripped through her own heart. She remained standing feet in front of Quinn. She wasn't able to move, as she tried to piece together the small amount of information. This wasn't making sense. "But tomorrow is June 1st..." she heard herself ask.

"I know..." was Quinn's muffled reply from behind her hand.

"So that is two months unaccounted for then?" Santana saw her friend's tears continue. She heard her sob being muffled by her hand again. She shook her head. "I'm sorry...I just...I'm confused?"

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut as she lowered her hand slowly back to her side. She drew in a deep breath and released a quivering one from her lungs moments later. "They aren't unaccounted for..." she trailed off. When her best friend couldn't be heard, when Santana didn't say anything, Quinn opened her eyes slowly and nervously.

Santana's jaw dropped open as the words Quinn had said soaked in. She looked into her best friend's eyes as tears fell down both hers and Quinn's. She refused to drop her gaze because she was silently begging the blonde to say that this was all a bad joke. However the longer she looked into her eyes the more and more she felt her stomach tie into knots as she realized the reality of the situation.

Santana heard herself speak. "That would mean..." The brunette shook her head as she kept her eyes glued to Quinn's. "That means that you are..." she trailed off again not knowing how to ask what she wanted to ask. "So you are like...two months...?" Santana held her breath as she waited for her best friend to answer.

Quinn looked at her best friend. She wanted to look away, hell she wanted to run out of the house and down the street, but she couldn't make any of her muscles move. She was frozen in her shame. She looked Santana square in the eyes as she finally took a deep shaky breath. This was the exact moment she wanted to avoid but now it was even worse than she had expected because now she had to own up to the fact that she's been hiding this awful thing for so long. When she opened her mouth the words came out barely above a whisper. "I think I'm...two and a half..." She trailed off unable to say the word out loud. The words she had spoken were hard enough to say. Those words had made even more tears fall from her eyes.

"You've known...?" Santana frowned. "You've known for two and a half months?" They both continued to stand awkwardly the same distance away from each other. Neither of them could do much of anything, neither of them could think about anything because their minds were racing.

Quinn nodded her head slowly, causing Santana to gasp. Quinn closed her eyes as she found her words. "Well...I-I've known for two months... my...my p-p-period was...really...really late...so...I figured... so I've known for two..." Quinn stuttered out her words as she hiccupped her sobs softly in between them, unable to control her crying any longer.

"Why didn't...why didn't you tell me?" Santana wondered out loud as she felt a sense of hurt and betrayal rush through her. She knew that she shouldn't feel betrayed right now...this most certainly wasn't a time to be selfish... but she couldn't help but wonder why her person...the one person in the entire world who she never could keep a secret from would keep one so big from her. Especially after everything that they've been through together.

"I-I didn't know how..." The blonde shook her head. "...I still don't know how to say...it."

Santana scoffed. "How about 'Santana, I'm pregnant'." As soon as the words left her lips, the brunette instantly felt guilty as the sound of Quinn's sob echoed through the room. She watched as her friend covered her mouth with her hand and began to cry harder into it, muffling the sound only slightly. Santana felt her own stomach churn at the phrase, and watching her sobbing best friend only made it worse. She took a small step forward towards the blonde. "I'm sorry. God. I'm sorry. I just...my head..." Santana ran her hands through her hair as she shook her head and continued, "is all over the place I just...shit Quinn. This...this explains...the lying, and the running, and you being weird...I didn't even think that this..." The brunette pointed at her best friend softly. She then wiped her face to clear some of her tears. "I didn't think that this could happen. I mean I know how it happens...I just...you're Quinn." She knew she wasn't making complete sense...but she also knew that Quinn knew what she was trying to say, and knew that both her and the blonde had way too many thoughts and emotions in their head right now all at once to process it all separately.

Santana looked over her shoulder at the closed door and couldn't help but be thankful that Rachel was downstairs at the moment. She took another step closer to her friend as she focused back on Quinn. "What... what are you going to do?"

"I...I don't know..." Quinn managed to choke out honestly. She wasn't able to look into Santana's eyes so she focused on the things around her room, right now the clock by her bed held all of her focus.

"Does Finn know?"

Quinn watched as the numbers on the clock became only a blur as more tears filled her eyes as she was reminded of Finn. She bit her lip as she slowly nodded her head. She couldn't answer her friend with words right now.

"What...what did he say?"

More tears fell down Quinn's cheeks as she quickly shook her head side to side. Her chin was quivering as she thought about what happened on Finn's front porch that night.

"What is it?" Santana asked her best friend. Quinn wasn't talking and it was beginning to scare her. The brunette closed the gap between them even more by moving closer to Quinn, she was now an arms length away from her best friend.

Quinn finally peeled her eyes away from the clock and looked down at Santana's feet. "He..." She somehow managed to bring her gaze up to look at Santana's face for a split second. However, when she saw all the concern and tears that covered the brunette's face she immediately shifted her gaze back down to Santana's feet. "He doesn't believe in abortions..." Quinn wiped at her tears as she started to quote the asshole that helped her get into this predicament. "And he doesn't want to be a dad... he said...he said to count him out."

Santana's jaw dropped as her blood began to boil. "He doesn't believe in abortions?" She requoted what Quinn had just said aloud. "What the fuck does that mean?" Her voice was growing stronger now, she wiped away at her tear stained face as a different emotion took over her body. "They aren't magical creatures or anything... it is a procedure and...they exist. You can't _not_ believe in something when it exists. You can choose not to support it...but you can't not believe in it. Dumb bastard." Santana shook her head angrily.

Quinn let out a small breath. "That's...that's what I said." A very tiny part of her felt relieved that it wasn't just her who thought that... a very tiny part of her was glad that she wasn't alone in that aspect of things; at least she hadn't been wrong in that part of this whole ordeal. Quinn sighed... the part of her that felt relieved was so miniscule that it seemed to vanish in an instant as she remembered that it didn't matter what Finn had believed or not believed... the fact of the matter was that she was pregnant and now Santana knew.

Santana shook her head as she thought about the asshole, Finn Hudson. Suddenly she froze as everything started piecing themselves together in her head. She looked up at Quinn sharply. "He thought that I knew..." She trailed off as she remembered her and Finn's interaction a few months back in the hallway outside of the cafeteria. He had been acting weird and was telling her that it was none of her business... Santana shook her head. He was talking about the pregnancy. He had assumed that she knew about it...he had assumed that if he knew, then obviously Quinn would have told Santana as well. "He thought that I knew and he was being an asshole about it...that one time in the hallway. You had told me that you two just got into a small fight..." Santana trailed off as she remembered her best friend's lie. "Small," she scoffed to herself as she realized now what the situation included. There was nothing small about it, other than the fetus itself.

The last train of thought sent shivers down Santana's spine. Fetus. The brunette looked at her best friend. How the hell was this happening right now? How was this happening to Quinn, of all people? As she looked at her best friend she could clearly see the heartbreak that was written all over her face. She could easily tell that Quinn's mind was on Finn Hudson and was thinking about everything that he said and did...or didn't do for that matter. Santana sighed. She couldn't be mad at Quinn right now...it wasn't fair to her best friend. Sure, she wished that Quinn had come to her about this instead of lying over and over again...but a part of her understood the urge to need to keep something as private as that a secret...especially when it was embarrassing.

Santana had to direct her anger elsewhere and she had the perfect outlet. She stood up straighter. "You know what? This is bullshit. He's known this whole time. He's known and he's avoided you at school? And hasn't spoken a word to you since? Fuck this." The brunette threw her hands up in the air as she took a step back towards the door. "I'm going to talk to him and-"

Quinn snapped out of her daze and took a step towards her friend. "No! Santana, you can't." She shook her head and lowered her voice. "Please...you can't..."

"But why not?"

Quinn shook her head. "I...I just... I can't."

"I mean..." Santana shook her head as she looked back at her best friend. "God I can't believe this is really happening." The brunette took a step back closer towards Quinn. "Well..are...are you going to tell my mom now? or...or Ruth even?"

"No." Quinn said sharply.

Santana's shoulders slumped as she let out a heavy sigh. She saw the glazed look her friend had in her eyes. She shook her head and with a soft voice she attempted to talk some sense into the blonde. "Quinn... you... you have to tell them. They...they will start to...to notice soon..." Santana hated to have to say this out loud but she needed to get Quinn to understand this.

"I know... I just... I can't..." Quinn said barely above a whisper.

"I can help." Santana quickly offered. "I can...I will be there, we can tell my mom together."

"No! Please...please don't."

Santana didn't think it was possible for her heart to break anymore than it already head but Quinn's broken voice tore away at her. "Quinn..."

Quinn shook her head as she looked down at the floor. "She is going to be so disappointed in me..." she mumbled. "She's given me everything. She's given me so much...and this is how I repay her? I just..." Quinn trailed off as she looked back up at Santana and shook her head.

Santana slowly nodded her head. She understood where Quinn was coming from. Not that she agreed with it in this moment but something else came to the brunette's mind, something that would make sense for Quinn not telling the adults. "Are you... is it too late..." She couldn't figure out how to phrase the question she wanted to ask. Santana sighed and decided to just rip off the bandaid. "Do you want to have an a-abortion?"

Quinn felt her heart race at Santana's question. "I-I..." The blonde stuttered and trailed off. She wasn't able to use words. The thought of abortion suddenly horrified her. All she could do was quickly shake her head 'no'.

Santana slowly nodded. "Are you going to keep it?"

Quinn felt the tears sting at her already puffy eyes again. "San... I..." She shook her head again.

Santana nodded her head yet again. So if abortion was out and keeping the baby was out then there was only one option left. "So...adoption. You...you've been thinking about adoption?" Quinn didn't respond. She didn't shake her head or nod, all she did was stare at Santana through her tear filled eyes. The look in Quinn's eyes made Santana gasp as she came to yet another realization. "You haven't thought about it at all...you haven't thought about any of this..."

"I can't..." was all Quinn could muster.

"Quinn, you have to do something." Her voice was stronger now. "You can't...you can't just keep ignoring this."

"I know... I know but...I..." She shook her head and wiped at her tears, slowly pulling herself together. "I will." Quinn finally stated as she looked Santana directly in the eyes. "I will do something...just...not right now."

"Quinn-"

Quinn cut off her best friend before she could protest again. "I will Santana. Just... can you just...give me some time? I just need time..."

Santana bit her lip. She didn't want to point out the obvious but from what Quinn was saying she felt like she had to. "You don't really...have much time Quinn."

Quinn darted her eyes to her best friend's as she lost whatever little bit of cool she had managed to hold onto prior. "I know!" She screamed. "Okay! I know! I..." The fire in her seemed to completely vanish as she trailed off. The blonde shook her head and felt herself fall to the ground numbly. She tucked her knees into her chest and started to stare out in front of her at nothing in particular. Damn Santana and her truthful words. Damn it all. What was she going to do? What the hell was she going to do?

Santana hesitated, awkwardly standing by her now slumped over best friend. She stared down at the blonde who was hunched over her knees on the carpeted floor. Should she go sit by her? Or stand here? Should she say anything else, or had everything pretty much been said? Quinn, her best friend, her person...was pregnant. That was all the brunette could think of. The sound of Quinn's quivering breath broke Santana out of her stupor and forced her body to finally react. She silently walked over to Quinn and plopped down in front of her best friend, pulling her own knees up to her chest as she rested her chin on them and looked at the blonde. Even though she was sitting in front of her, Quinn wasn't really looking at her...it was like she was looking through her. Santana knew that look very well. It meant that Quinn was stuck in her head, in her own thoughts and not really there in the room. Santana watched as a few more tears slipped from her best friend's eyes. The sight of how distraught and vulnerable Quinn looked in this moment ate away at Santana.

"Your mom..." Quinn finally broke the silence as she began to speak numbly. "She's going to be...SO disappointed in me. I never wanted to disappoint her. Not ever... I... God." The blonde slammed her face into her hands as she shook her head and closed her eyes with a sob. "I screwed up. I s-screwed up s-s-so bad." With that Quinn finally felt the dam burst within her. She started sobbing heavily into her hands. How has life gotten to this point? How had she been so stupid? What was she going to do now?

As soon as Quinn started hysterically crying Santana moved from in front of the girl to next to her. She felt tears rushing down her own cheeks as she wrapped her arms around her person and pulled her into a tight one sided hug. Quinn continued to cry into her hands, not even acknowledging the comfort that Santana was trying to offer, but that was understandable to the brunette. She hugged the blonde tighter in response as she laid her head onto Quinn's shoulder. She knew there wasn't anything left to say.

...

Rachel flipped through the channels for what felt like the millionth time. With a heavy sigh she finally turned off the tv and threw the remote onto the couch next to her. As she pouted against the couch she suddenly got an idea. Santana and Quinn were in the house! They could drive her somewhere! Then she wouldn't be bored anymore. She shot up from the couch and ran up the stairs towards her sissy's room. They could go to the park, or a movie, or maybe they could go to the art store and find a craft that they all could do together! The more and more options she came up with the more and more excited she was becoming.

Rachel swung open Quinn's bedroom door and ran inside. A frown quickly replaced her smile as she came to a halt. "What's going on?" She asked as she looked at her sister and Quinn who were sitting curled up on the floor.

Santana snapped her head over at her sister. "What do you want Rachel?" Her tone came out snappy but she couldn't control it. There was too much on her mind...and having her kid sister barge into the room was not something she was able to handle right now.

Rachel shifted her focus from Santana to Quinn. She watched as the blonde quickly wiped at her cheeks before looking at the wall away from her. Rachel frowned again. Why was Quinn not looking at her? The eight year old looked back at the older brunette. "What's happening?"

Santana shook her head. "Rachel..." she said in a warning tone. She was the one asking the questions, not her. She needed Rachel to say what she wanted so she could get her to leave the room. When she noticed Rachel eyeing Quinn again, Santana instantly knew that she had to distract her little sister in order to rush things along. "Rachel?"

Rachel snapped her head to Santana at the call of her name. When she watched her sister raise her eyebrows and let go of Quinn she refocused on her original intent for coming into the room to begin with. "I um... I want you and Quinn to take me somewhere. I'm bored." She spoke quickly, "I was thinking the art store, then we could come home and do a craft project... or we can go to the park..." As she thought of the possibilities again she felt a smile grow on her face.

Rachel's smile quickly vanished at Santana's response. "No Rach. Get out."

"What? Why?"

Santana shook her head. "Because I said so." Out of the corner of her eye she could see Quinn looking away from Rachel, trying her hardest to hide her face from the eight year old so she wouldn't be able to see that she had been crying. "Get out," Santana said again quickly, knowing that Quinn couldn't handle this right now.

Rachel made a face. "Ok fine you don't have to take me to the mall but can you at least walk me to Chelsey's so I can play with her?"

"No Rachel the last week of school starts tomorrow, you aren't going anywhere. Now I mean it, get out of the room." Santana pointed towards the door.

Rachel studied her sister's face then looked at the back of Quinn's head. The blonde hadn't said a word to her since she came into the room...she hadn't even looked at her...the eight year old felt like she was missing something. "What's going on?"

"Rachel Barbara," Santana snapped.

Rachel stomped her foot and mocked back, "Santana Maree."

Santana sighed as she heard Quinn sniffle next to her. She glared at her sister. "Rach, seriously..."

Rachel looked at the blonde on the floor. "What's wrong with Quinn?"

"Nothing," Santana replied heavily. "Please get out of here, Rachel."

Rachel squinted her eyes at her sister. "This is Quinn's room. You can't kick me out of it."

Quinn shook her head, still totally avoiding the general direction Rachel was standing in. "Rach..." Her voice was low.

"Yea?" Rachel's voice perked up.

The blonde sighed. She hated this. She hated all of this, but right now she couldn't deal with Rachel. She couldn't even look at the young girl she'd come to accept as her little sister...there was no way she would be able to go anywhere with her. She wasn't up to going anywhere with anyone. She felt like the world had just collapsed on top of her now that her secret was out. She was just faced with the reality of it all, and forced to realize that it was only a matter of time before more people will have to know how much of a screw up she really is. She couldn't do any of this. She let out a long breath. "Please leave..."

Rachel frowned. "But-"

Santana cut off the eight year old's attempt to protest. "You heard her. Now. Vamanos."

Rachel shook her head again. "Quinn looks...weird." She looked at her sister and noticed for the first time that her sister's face was off...were her eyes puffy? "You look weird too. Why do you both look weird?"

Santana couldn't control it anymore, she was beyond annoyed and angry. She needed Rachel out and she needed her out now. "Rachel I swear to God if you don't get out of this room right now-"

Rachel stomped her foot against the floor again. "Fine!" She yelled. "God! This is so unfair!" With that Rachel turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, angrily slamming Quinn's bedroom door closed behind her on her way out.

...

Shelby sat down in her chair at her desk and let out a sigh as she rested her head back against the headrest. She had been nonstop from one patient to the next since she arrived at the practice earlier in the day. All these parents were bringing in their kids who mostly turned out to be lying about ailments in order to get out of final exams. This rush always seemed to happen every year before exam time and it was always exhausting. Shelby barely had a chance to breathe before her phone started ringing.

With a heavy sigh she answered it. "Shelby Lopez?"

"Mama?" Rachel's young voice rang over the line.

Shelby instantly sat up straighter in her chair at her youngest daughter's voice. "Hey boo, is everything okay?"

"No." Rachel hiccuped into the phone.

Shelby's heart began to race once she realized that the eight year old had been crying. "Rachel, hunny, what's the matter?"

"Santana is being mean."

The mother instantly relaxed as she flopped back into her desk chair again with a breath of relief. "Baby, you worried me."

"Why?" Rachel asked simply, slightly annoyed that her mother didn't respond the way she wanted her to to her statement about her sister.

Shelby shook her head as she grasped her phone. The millions of things that could have been wrong that were previously flipping through her head were not G rated, none of them would be appropriate to share with her eight year old. Ever since Santana's attack, Shelby was forced to face the fact that bad things happen. They don't just happen to other people...they can, and in her case have, happen to you or the ones you love. Since the attack anytime any of her girls called her crying her mind automatically starts to race with horrible possibilities as to what could be wrong or what could have happened...whereas in the past she used to assume it was a silly bickering match or a broken fingernail or a ripped new shirt.

She shook her head again as she forced herself to answer her daughter. "Nevermind. So you said Santana is being mean? What happened?"

"I asked her and Quinn if they would take me to the art store because I'm really bored and they said no. Then I asked if they could walk me to Chelsey's house and Santana kicked me out of Quinn's room." The eight year old gave a quick recap of the events that just occurred.

"Well Rach, they are trying to study. They have final exams tomorrow." Shelby said as she reached for a stack of files on her desk.

"They weren't studying."

This made the mother stop what she was doing. "What were they doing?" She asked as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Just sitting on the floor."

"They were on the floor?"

Rachel nodded. "Mmmhmm. They looked weird too. But Santana didn't need to yell and kick me out, she was so mean for no reason. It isn't fair mama."

Shelby paused at Rachel's words. They looked weird? What did that mean? The mother knew that she couldn't ask the eight year old so instead she decided to just agree, knowing that her youngest needed to hear her mother agree with her. "She shouldn't have yelled, but baby you do have to find something in the house to occupy your time tonight okay? I'll be home from the practice in a couple more hours. What if we went to get ice cream tonight after dinner? Does that sound alright?"

Rachel let out an exaggerated sigh. "I guess so."

Shelby smiled at Rachel's response. "Alright sweetie. Can you bring the phone to your sister please?" She needed to check in with Santana and figure out what Rachel meant by her and Quinn being weird. She needed to know what they were doing on the floor and why they yelled at The eight year old.

"Fine." Rachel said with a huff as she stomped her way back up to Quinn's bedroom. She was hoping that her mom would yell at Santana for being mean. It wasn't fair because she didn't do anything wrong to be yelled at. She had asked the older girls nicely and they responded by yelling. It wasn't her fault that they were being weird.

As soon as Rachel swung open the door to the bedroom with the phone in hand, Santana turned to face the young girl angrily. She stood up from the floor and stormed over towards her sister angrily, being sure to block a crying Quinn from Rachel's view. This wasn't a good time for her sister to act her age. This wasn't a good time at all. "Rachel Seriously, get out of the room! How many times do I have to tell you!" She ushered her sister towards the door.

Rachel shrugged her sister off of her shoulders harshly as she spun around and shoved the phone into her sister's hands. "Mama wanted to talk to you! Don't yell at me!" With that Rachel turned on her heel and stormed out of the room again.

Santana looked down at the phone that was in her hands. Shit. Shit. Shit. She looked at it like it was something she had never seen before. The phone was on, her mother was waiting for her to say something. Shit. How was she supposed to talk to her mom right now? What was she supposed to say? The brunette looked over her shoulder at Quinn who was silently crying into her hands again. She felt her stomach churn as she slowly brought the phone to her ear. "Ma?"

Shelby's eyebrows were raised at the commotion she had just overheard over the phone. "Santana? What's going on?"

Santana turned around and started to walk back to her best friend. "What do you mean 'what's going on'?" She asked carefully as she looked at Quinn who met her gaze at her question.

"Rachel called to say you were yelling at her."

Santana paused. Quinn shook her head quickly as her chin quivered and more tears ran down the sides of her face. Santana looked into Quinn's worried eyes and understood that the blonde was silently asking, no begging, her not to say anything to her mom. "Uh yea...because she wants us to take her somewhere...I told her we couldn't...she wouldn't leave us alone."

Shelby nodded her head, that is what she thought had happened. "Are you two studying?"

"We were studying...but..." The brunette trailed off again as she maintained eye contact with her best friend.

"Please..." Quinn pleaded barely above a whisper with a shake of her head.

Santana continued to look down at her friend who was still sitting on the floor. The blonde looked so broken, it was tearing her heart. What was she supposed to do? Quinn was begging her not to say anything but her mom was literally pressed up against her ear... Santana felt like she was stuck. She didn't know what to do.

"Santana?" Shelby asked.

Her mother's voice broke her thoughts as she shook her head and grabbed the phone tighter in her hand. She couldn't tell her mom over the phone. She couldn't do that to Quinn, especially not when Quinn looked the way she looked right now. She honestly wouldn't even know how to say it even if she really wanted to. Now wasn't a good time. Santana cleared her voice and continued, "We were studying but...we are taking a break and just talking."

Shelby frowned. The silence had been long and awkward over the phone. "Everything alright?"

Santana answered quickly. "Yea..."

Shelby slowly nodded her head. She decided that she wouldn't push the issue now, not when she had so much to finish before she could go home for the night. "Ok. Well I'm gonna be a few more hours here then I'll be home in time for Sunday dinner, sound good?"

"Sure thing Ma." Santana said.

"Alright sweetie. Please don't yell at Rachel anymore for me. I love you all. I'll see you later." Shelby hung up the phone with a small sigh. She was tired and really wishing that this day would end so she could go home to her girls. But she was reminded again that going home was just like another job. She was going to need to cook Sunday dinner, check Rachel's homework, pick up the house, and make sure that the older two don't kill Rachel along the way. Being a single mother of three was extremely tiring.

Ruth broke Shelby from her daze. "What's up?" She asked as she leaned on the door frame into the mother's office. She saw the look on her best friend's face as she was walking on the wy to her office and wanted to stop in to make sure everything was okay.

Shelby looked up at her best friend and gave a small smile. She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing...typical sisterly fight going on at home."

Ruth rolled her eyes as she leaned back out of Shelby's office. "Oh my goddaughters. Gotta love them." She said over her shoulder with a smile as she headed back to her office with a smile.

...

Santana walked next to her best friend through the hallways at McKinley. She was at school for the first of her final exams but her mind was in a million other places. She had no idea how she managed to avoid her mother for Sunday dinner and the rest of the night. She had no idea how her mother believed her and Quinn's bullshit excuse of them being stressed about exams as to why they were acting so strangely. She didn't understand how Quinn could hide something so big from everyone for so long, and she certainly didn't understand how Quinn could drop such a big bomb on her and then expect her to forget about it.

After they had finished their nearly silent Sunday dinner, Quinn had quickly excused herself to take a shower and then explained to Shelby that she was going to go to bed early so that she was well rested for her first exam. Her best friend had cut Santana off before she could say anything else regarding the topic with a quick "let's not focus on this right now since exams start tomorrow", before she closed her bedroom door in the brunette's face. Well now here they were...heading to their first exam and Santana couldn't help but shake her head at the ridiculous idea of being able to focus on the school stuff when so much more was happening with her person. There was an awkward silence that encompassed the best friends as they walked down the hallway; neither of them knew what to say to the other so silence seemed to be the best way to go. With the extremely awkward silence, Santana felt like her eyes were being drawn to Quinn's stomach. She was trying her best to look away, but seconds later she would realize that they were glued to her best friend again.

"Stop staring at my stomach." Quinn's voice growled lowly, startling Santana and breaking her train of thought. Quinn spoke without turning her head. She continued to stare ahead of her in the direction they were both walking in without so much as a glance at her best friend. She didn't have to look at Santana to know that her best friend was staring at her...she could feel it.

Santana quickly averted her eyes to the tile as they kept up their brisk pace towards their first exam. She sighed before quietly speaking, "I'm sorry -"

Quinn didn't let her friend finish her sentence. She shook her head strongly. "No," she growled again. Her voice was strong and serious while being low all at the same time. She didn't need the small amount of people that were still in the hallways to overhear their conversations. She shook her head without looking at her best friend. "Don't apologize just...don't do it."

Santana paused her walking causing Quinn to slow her pace to a near stop. The blonde refused to turn around and look at her. "Quinn," she pleaded with her friend.

Quinn looked straight ahead down the hallway, refusing to acknowledge her best friend's call. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and to keep herself from even thinking about crying. With a firm shake of her head Quinn began to walk forward again. "Santana. No. We aren't talking about this." She said loud enough for the brunette to hear over her shoulder as she powered forward with longer strides.

Santana bit her lip as she watched Quinn walk ahead of her. The brunette slowly nodded her head with a sigh as she jogged lightly to catch back up to her best friend. They began to walk in silence again but Santana couldn't help it...her eyes traveled back down to her friend's barely swollen stomach. It was barely noticeable. She hadn't ever noticed it before...but since last night... since she learned about...everything... it was like she could notice that it wasn't as flat as it normally was, or was that just her mind playing tricks on her?

Without warning Santana felt the wind being forced from her lungs. She felt her back being slammed against the lockers as a few locks dug into her back. The brunette had to blink her eyes in order to get them to focus and to see past the stars that temporarily impaired her vision. When she was able to catch her breath she was able to get a grip on the situation she was now in. Quinn had pushed her into the lockers and had a firm grip on her upper arm as she held her other arm across the brunette's chest keeping her planted against the lockers without apologies. Santana took a deep breath to calm her shaking nerves as she reminded herself that it was Quinn that was holding her against the lockers and not...him. She was completely shocked by her best friend's sudden physical outburst and was unable to find words to speak so she just continued to stare into the blonde's eyes as she tried extremely hard to force the tears that instantly stung her own to disappear.

Quinn leaned her head in close to Santana's as she breathed heavily; ignoring the random few students that were now staring at the duo in the hallway. She saw that her best friend's eyes were glazed over in fresh tears but then quickly noticed that those tears disappeared. She couldn't think about her actions in this moment, she couldn't think about how much this could be freaking Santana out... she was too freaked out on her own to be able to process anything other than the fact that she can't acknowledge her secret. Not to anyone, not to Santana, not here, not now. She so desperately wanted the freedom that Finn Hudson had in this scenario...and Santana reminding her by her simple eye gaze was not helping in the least.

When the blonde opened her mouth to speak, her voice was low so no one else would be able to hear. She tightened her grip on Santana's upper arm as she spoke quickly. She could feel the anger flowing through her veins. "Knock it off," she snarled. "I didn't stare at you after your -"

Quinn instantly cut herself off. She bit her lip and quickly shook her head as she loosened her grip on her best friend. She refused to say the word knowing how much it hurt for her to say and how much it hurt for San to hear. Seeing Santana's face falter told her that she didn't need to finish the sentence, her best friend knew exactly what she was referring to. She shook her head. "So just stop. Stop it." Her face remained close to Santana's as they were both silent for a moment; the only noise between them was Quinn's heavy rapid breathing. She felt Santana slump against the lockers away from her grip once the words Quinn had just spoken finally sank in. The blonde let go of Santana's arm and took a step away from her best friend, still refusing to break eye contact. "Ok?" she finally asked.

Santana stared into her friends eyes a moment longer as she pushed herself off of the lockers, ignoring the small ache in her back. She could see right through the angry front Quinn was putting on. She saw the fear and panic that really consumed Quinn's whole being. She wanted to tell Quinn that it would be okay. She wanted to tell her that it was okay to be scared... but she focused on the angry mask Quinn had on and reminded herself that in the middle of the school hallway before final exams was certainly not the time or place to do any of that. She nodded her head slowly. "You are right. I'm sorry." She let out a deep breath, her nerves were still shot. Her hands were still shaking so she crossed her arms tightly over her chest in order to get a grip of herself. This was about Quinn...not her. She looked Quinn deeply in the eyes, "I really am."

Quinn shook her head, suddenly dropping her gaze from her friend's eyes. She couldn't hold it any longer. "Don't be sorry for me. There isn't anything to be sorry about." Quinn said quietly and quickly as she focused on the tile floor beneath them.

Santana nodded her head again. "Okay." She breathed as she looked around and noticed that the last couple of kids who were looking at them were finally giving up and walking in the direction of their own final exams. She looked back at the blonde. "Okay, it won't happen again."

Quinn nodded her head and pulled her shoulders up straighter. She let out a heavy breath. "Thank you." She looked up and met Santana's eyes. "Thanks," she repeated again in a more sincere tone to her person.

Santana shrugged her shoulders, knowing that Quinn needed a change of subject. They both did. "So exam time?" She decided that the best way to approach the topic of what just happened would be to pretend it didn't happen... at least in this moment in time.

Quinn nodded her head slightly. "Yea," she responded as a very small smile pulled on her lips. She let out another exaggerated breath as her breathing rate struggled to get back to normal.

Santana smiled at Quinn and nodded her head in the direction they were previously walking in. "Alright, let's go kick some ass and show em' we can pass!" The brunette's smile grew at her own silly rhyme.

Quinn rolled her eyes at her friend. "You are so ridiculously cheesy," she chuckled as she turned and joined Santana as they began walking in the direction of their first exam. Quinn looked over at Santana briefly as they walked. "I'm sorry," she said just above a whisper. She didn't want to bring up the subject but she couldn't not say sorry for how she reacted. Santana didn't deserve that, and she needed her best friend to know that she felt bad about it already.

Santana just smiled at her best friend and shrugged her shoulders. "Don't be," she said simply. With that, the friends returned to walking in silence as they approached their classroom for their first final exam of the school year. The brunette continued to force her smile that was on her face to remain. Her cheeks were starting to ache from all the fake happiness. Inside she was burning up with worry and stress. Putting her own insecurities and triggers aside, she had just found out last night that her person's life was completely in shambles and had been secretly for two months. Then she was told minutes later that there couldn't be anymore conversation about it. Santana had spent the entire night lying awake in her bed wondering what her next move should be, and now after the altercation in the hallway that just took place she couldn't help but think about it all over again. Not that it had ever really left her mind since finding out the news to begin with. She shook her head. Should she tell her mom or respect Quinn's wishes and trust that her best friend will tell her herself like the blonde had said she would? Would getting an adult involved be the right thing to do, even if it was behind Quinn's back? Quinn had done that for her after she had been attacked...She had told her mother even after Santana had begged her not to. She shook her head again. That was different though, right? It wasn't the same situation of course... but did that mean that she shouldn't tell an adult for her best friend? Or should she wait a little while longer and help her best friend prepare to have that conversation on her own? The brunette let out a sigh. This was a mess. It was all such a huge mess.

...

**A/N: Thank you all for continuing to read. Again, I'm sorry it is a shorter chapter, and I'm sorry for the delay in the update. I'd like to say that I will get the next one up more quickly, but I can't make that promise with everything that is going on at the moment. I will do my best to work on it when I have the free time. Please let me know what you all think! Reviews are so much appreciated. Thanks again!**

**-E**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Thank you for your reviews. I loved each and every one of them. Sorry for any typos. **

**Chapter 9**

Santana and Quinn were being forced to spend quality time with Rachel since final exams were finally over. Shelby had to work and left specific instructions to make sure that the older girls got Rachel out of the house for the day. It wasn't that Santana didn't want to spend time with her sister, she of course loved Rachel...but this was the first opportunity that her and Quinn were alone and Quinn didn't have the excuse of studying for finals since the beginning of the week.

The girls had decided to start their day off at the mall. Santana shook her head, really she had been the one to take both a protesting Rachel and Quinn to the mall. The other girls had zero interest in being at the mall, but Santana had insisted that the trip wouldn't take too long. If she had to spend the day doing things that the eight year old wanted to do then Rachel could deal with thirty minutes at the mall. So far, Rachel had spent the entire trip to the mall and the ten minutes that they had been there complaining and whining every minute on the minute. Santana looked next to her at Quinn. The blonde had been exceptionally silent since leaving the house this morning. With a heavy sigh Santana shook her head and looked ahead of her as they entered a store.

She needed Quinn to come to terms with the fact that she was pregnant and understand that ignoring it wasn't going to make it go away. She wanted Quinn to tell an adult but she couldn't bring herself to do it behind her friend's back. The only other option she had come up with was trying to get Quinn in a position where she was comfortable to tell either her mom or Ruth. However, spending the day with Rachel in tow wasn't allowing the conversation to be brought up easily.

As they walked through the department store, they walked past the baby clothes section to make it to the junior's clothes. Santana bit her lip and decided to dive into the conversation in the most nonchalant way she could think of. She looked at her best friend who was walking with her eyes glued to the floor. Santana pointed at a wrack that was filled with really tiny baby outfits.

"You know I'm surprised Ruth never had kids...she was always so good with us. Then when you joined our clan she loved you right away too. Remember how she used to braid your hair in pigtails when you were little?" Santana paused as she waited for Quinn to respond. When the blonde didn't even nod her head Santana continued nervously. "I know Ruth would love to have another baby around." Santana shook her head at herself. So much for being nonchalant.

"What are we looking for here again?" Quinn asked as she changed the subject immediately. She couldn't even respond to how ridiculous Santana was being by attempting to bring up the subject that she refused to talk about.

"Quinn we need to talk about this." Santana tried again.

"What are you looking for in this store Santana?" Quinn pressed, blatantly ignoring the question again.

Santana sighed at her failed attempt. "I have nothing to wear when I go out with Mike," she muttered as she started to flip through the clothes that hung on the nearest wrack.

"Seriously?" Quinn groaned. She was with Rachel on this one. She didn't want to be here either. She wanted to be in her bed... or … anywhere that wasn't as busy as the only mall in Lima. For some reason it was always busy and bustling. She didn't want to be here at all. A part of her suddenly felt strange for longing for isolation. Santana's voice broke her train of thought.

"Rachel, we're going to go in here, okay? And then I promise we'll go where you want to go." Rachel didn't respond and Santana rolled her eyes. "Rachel, don't sulk. I promise -"

Santana turned to scold her little sister. They were trying to encourage her into not whining as much when she didn't get her way. They had been catering to her too much or spoiling her according to Ruth.

She froze. She couldn't see her.

"Rachel?"

She looked around anxiously. She was suddenly kicking herself. Her mother always had Rachel walk in front of her and never behind her. Rachel had a tendency to wander. Why did she let Rachel sulk behind her? In a crowded mall? Damn it!

"Rachel!" she shouted this time.

The mall looked so busy. She could barely see anyone in front of her. How was she going to find a tiny child? She reached out and grabbed Quinn's hand for support.

"RACHEL!" she screamed, not noticing or caring that she was drawing attention to herself. "Where did we last see her? When was she making a noise?" She made eye contact with Quinn. "Where did we see her?! When did she last complain?"

Quinn stared back at her best friend. She didn't know. She felt a surge in her gut. She didn't know! Rachel complained all of the time. She was supposed to remember where they were when Rachel complained last? Quinn didn't know. She had babysat Rachel numerous time before but for the first time she realized that she had never watched Rachel in the mall, not without an adult's help. She never had to pay attention as much. Suddenly every episode of Law and Order and CSI and Criminal Minds started to echo in her head. 99% of children who are kidnapped are killed within the first 24 Hours.

"What?" Santana snapped at her with wide eyes.

Oh, god, did she say that outloud?

Santana stared at her in shock and devastating fear. "What did you say?" She shook her head almost angrily. "No! She's not going to be dead." Her voice suddenly wavered weakly. "Oh my god." Santana suddenly stopped moving as her eyes glazed over in tears. "What if he got out of his cell somehow? What if he's been following us and he took her?" Santana let out a panicked sob. "What if he is hurting my baby sister right now! Oh god!" She suddenly shook her head again and grabbed Quinn's hand forcing the tears to stop flowing down her own face. "No! No! We're going to find her."

Quinn felt herself being pulled along out of the store to the middle of the mall. She followed Santana silently as the life in her hand was being squeezed out. Quinn didn't have to ask Santana who she was referring to because she could see by the worry that was etched across her face that Santana was talking about Guillermo Chavez. There was no other person in this world that terrified her best friend like the man that changed her life forever.

...

Rachel frowned. She didn't like the mall. Why did they think that she would like the mall? She wanted to do something fun. This is not what she wanted to do. Not at all. She wanted to go to Bounce House and then the park. That is what Santana had promised...not the stupid mall where she wouldn't even get anything. She frowned and looked up at her sister and froze.

The woman next to her was not Santana or Quinn. She looked behind her. They weren't there either. Where were they? Did they leave her because she had whined? She looked around her frantically and the mall suddenly felt too big to comprehend. She felt tears instantly sting her eyes when she realized that she had forgotten everything that she had learned. Was she supposed to stay put or ask for help? Was she supposed to talk to a stranger? Was she supposed to go into a store? Her mama told her what to do but she couldn't remember what she had said. She slowly backed up and jumped when she ran into something. She turned, it was just the wall. Her cheeks were wet with tears. She didn't know where to begin.

Her chest hurt. It was like there was a brick on it... or like that time when her big sister sat on her chest. Her mama had yelled at Santana for doing that. She said Rachel couldn't breathe. Was she not able to breathe now?

She let out a small sob of worry and concern. What was going to happen?

"Are you okay?" A male voice suddenly asked her. She looked at the man and jumped back as she felt another surge of worry in her chest. She didn't know this man...Should she go with him?

…..

Santana was squeezing the life out of Quinn's hand as the two of them were now standing in the office of mall security. The brunette was just asked to describe her sister so that the guards could check over the videos they had running or something or other along those lines. She shifted her weight back and forth on her feet nervously. "Um... She's eight years old but she … She looks um... six? I don't know... She's the smallest one in her class," Santana rambled to the clueless looking security guard. "Her name is Rachel. Rachel Barbara Lopez. She knows her address and phone number. Oh god, should I call my mom?"

Quinn suddenly realized that Santana was looking at her for an answer. She didn't know. She didn't know how to do this. Shelby was the mother not... Her thoughts suddenly froze as she felt her stomach twist in a knot. Wasn't she supposed to be … responsible... now too? She quickly shook her head, she couldn't do this.

"And how long ago was the last time you remember seeing her?" The fat rent-a-cop asked impatiently.

Santana left her focus on Quinn...she was begging her silently to help her out and to answer her questions but for some reason it was like Quinn was in another world. The brunette shook her head and changed her focus back to the man asking the questions once she realized her friend wasn't going to answer. "I …. I... don't know." Tears ran down her face. "I probably haven't see her for …" Santana shook her head quickly. "I-I don't know...I have no idea how long it's been..."

"Wonderful." The cop murmured under his breath sarcastically. It was loud enough for Quinn to hear which caused the blonde to shake her head. She was about to open her mouth and yell at the grumpy asshole but a loud ring interrupted her before she got a chance.

Santana's phone suddenly rang in her pocket. She frantically pulled it out hoping that it was Rachel. Maybe the eight year old found a nice old lady who let her use her phone? Please please please. The brunette almost threw her phone when she saw that it was only Mike calling. She couldn't talk to him now. Didn't he understand that? She thrust her phone in Quinn's direction, not even bothering to make sure her friend had her phone safely before turning back to face the man asking the questions.

"What is she wearing today? Or do you even know?" The man asked with a sigh as he looked down at his clipboard.

Santana refocused on the mall cop as her phone was silenced by Quinn. "Um... she is wearing... um... Jeans... I think... yeah. And Uggs... and... um... a pink jacket. A zip up..." Santana searched her brain. What was she missing? What else did she need to say? "She has brown hair... and she talks...she talks a lot..."

The cop rolled his eyes at the young girls before quickly scribbling on to the paper he held in front of him. "Do you know if there are stores she likes to go to in particular?"

"She wanted to go to the... the science store. What's it called?" Santana asked looking at Quinn.

Quinn stared back at her. She didn't know where it was let alone what it was called. She knew it was kind of near Sears...or was it? Shit. No clue. She should know this...shouldn't she?

Santana shook her head. "Um...if not that store...then she likes going to the Gap. She doesn't really like the mall but she likes those two stores...but that's it really."

"She doesn't even like the mall?" The man asked as he looked up from his clipboard at the two girls. He rolled his eyes again. Stupid irresponsible teenagers like them make his job so annoying.

...

Mike hated the mall. He hated the mall more than most men. He shook his head, he was sure that he hated them the most. Too many people. Too much stuff. Too expensive. Too much everything.

Suddenly, a tiny hiccup caught his ear. It was such a loud busy place, but that tiny hiccupped sob made him pause. He turned and saw a little girl with her hair pulled back into pig-tailed french braids crying quietly in the corner. He watched her carefully. His little cousin loved her hair like that. He knew it took time and patience. Someone cared about this little girl and must surely be panicking. He walked toward her carefully.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up at him with dark unsure eyes that reminded him of someone and he couldn't help but smile. He knelt down in front of her.

"Hi," he said softly.

She continued to cry silently. "... My sissy..." she said quietly.

"You lost your sister?" he asked carefully.

She nodded and wiped her tears.

"Okay," he said softly. "My name is Mike. I can help you find her. What's your name?"

"R-r-rachel," she whispered. "I have to find my sissy."

"Okay," he smiled, sitting on the floor next to her. He remembered volunteering with kids at the YMCA and the coordinator told him to get on their level. "What does she look like?"

"She's...s-she's tall and t-tan. She h-h-has brown eyes and dark h-h-hair," she said shakily.

Mike looked around, trying not to look frustrated. This kid just described 85% of the people in the mall.

"Do you know your sister's phone number?" He tried a different tactic.

"I think so..." she said wiping her tears again.

He smiled. "What's her name? Do you just call her sissy?" he asked praying that she knew her name.

"I call her Sissy," she said quietly biting her lip. "But her name is Santana."

Mike paused. That name couldn't be common right? He looked at the young girl in front of him, and for the first time he could see that there definitely could be a resemblance. "Rachel, what's your last name?"

She bit the inside of her lip unsure if she should tell him.

"It's okay, you can trust me," he said quietly.

"Lopez," she said quietly, still unsure.

"Is your sister Santana Lopez? Does she go to McKinley High School?" he asked trying not to get too excited and scare her.

She paused and looked at him carefully. What if he knew the bad man that hurt Santana before? Would he hurt her sister again if she told him? Would he hurt her?

"Rachel, I go to school with Santana," he said seeing her worry. "She and I are friends."

Rachel nodded slowly. "Yeah, her name is Santana Lopez. My friend Quinn lives with us too. Do you know her, too?"

He smiled realizing that he had identified the right person. "Yeah, I sure do."

...

Santana's phone rang for a third time in Quinn's hand.

"Santana, he's calling for a third time," Quinn stated. "Maybe we should pick it up."

"I don't care!" Santana shouted at her person, but Quinn thrusted the phone into her hands anyway. Santana let out a frustrated groan as she quickly brought her phone up to her ear. "Mike, sorry but now really isn't a good time. I-" The brunette pushed the phone to her ear as she listened to what the boy on the other side of the line had to say. She darted her eyes over to Quinn who was silently begging her to use her words and tell her what the boy was saying. "Rachel is with you?"

Quinn felt herself frown as she listened to the words coming from her best friend's mouth. How was Rachel with Mike? None of this made sense. She continued to stare at Santana and listened to the rest of the girl's phone conversation.

"Oh thank god," Santana breathed into the phone as she felt her shoulders instantly relax. She put her free hand on her chest over her heart as she blew out another breath of relief. She could feel her heart nearly pounding out of her chest as the tears began to form in her eyes. "Ok, I'll meet you there. Thank you so much, Mike."

Quinn raised her eyebrows, "What happened?" She watched as Santana slowly lowered herself down onto the nearby desk chair across from the good for nothing mall security guy. The brunette rested her head into her palms instead of answering the blonde's question. Quinn frowned again. It was like Santana hadn't even heard her speak. Her own heart was still racing in her chest, she needed to know. "Where are we meeting Mike? How is Rachel with him? Is she okay?" Still no answer. "San?" she tried again.

Santana blew out another breath as she was able to feel her heart rate slow down. She wiped her eyes free of the tears that were lingering there before looking up at Quinn with a small smile. "Mike is here. He found Rachel and they are going to be in the food court waiting for us."

Quinn felt herself breathe out her own breath of relief at Santana's words. "Thank god." She took a step backwards as she shook her head at herself. She should have been more responsible. If she wasn't stuck in her own head as much then she would have noticed Rachel wandering off in the first place. How did she let this happen?

"Come on let's go. We gotta go." Santana said quickly as she rushed by the blonde and out of the mall security office without even looking behind or thanking the officer for his time.

Quinn watched the door close behind her best friend, leaving her alone with the mall cop in his office. The sound the door made broke quinn from her trance. The blonde collected herself quickly and took a step forward and opened her mouth to apologize for the inconvenience but the man beat her to it.

"So we don't need to do this report anymore I am assuming?" He had an attitude in his voice.

Quinn forced a polite smile to her face even though deep down, smiling was the last thing she wanted to do right now. "No, I'm sorry, apparently our...friend found her. Thank you for your time."

The cop lazily threw his clipboard onto his desk with a heavy sigh and a roll of his eyes. "You girls are too young to be in charge of someone so young." He mumbled loud enough to ensure that Quinn heard. He looked her straight in the eyes with a shake of his head. "Mothers these days...I tell ya."

Quinn felt like his comment was a direct punch to her gut. His words echoed in her mind. He was right. Even though he didn't really know how his words had changed in meaning when the blonde heard it, she gave him credit that he was completely right. She is far too young. She shouldn't be in charge of an eight year old. She shouldn't be in charge of anyone...especially not a...Quinn shook her head as she looked down at her stomach and ran her hand lightly over it numbly.

She shook herself back to the moment and looked at the mall cop who was now looking at her with a weird confused look on his face. Quinn cleared her throat, "Sorry. Thank you for your time." With that Quinn quickly exited the room to follow her best friend.

...

Rachel sipped at the drink that Mike just bought her. He was very nice. He was actually listening to what she was saying rather than just nodding his head and saying "yea" every couple of minutes like her sister or Quinn usually did. She smiled at Mike...she really liked this guy.

"Rachel!"

Rachel looked up and saw Santana and Quinn on the other side of the food court. She slid off of the chair and sprinted toward her sister, who pulled her up into her arms with a relieved sob. Santana pulled back immediately and cupped her face with her hands.

"Don't ever do that again, Rach," she said softly as she combed Rachel's hair from her face.

"I'm sorry. I thought that I was walking next to you," she sobbed.

"I know," Santana said gently rubbing her back and holding her close again.

All Quinn could do was just watch the exchange between the sisters. She smiled weakly and tearfully at Rachel but she felt a strange feeling in her gut. A strange feeling of failure. She zoned out into her head of thoughts as she saw Santana stand.

"Thanks for finding her," Santana said standing up and holding Rachel close to her side as Mike approached the three of them. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem," he smiled. "I would have done it for anyone. It was so crazy that it turned out to be your sister."

"We were definitely very lucky that you were the one to find her." Santana said honestly. She turned back towards her little sister and looked down at her. "Rach you can't ever do that to me again. You scared me so much."

Rachel frowned as she took in her sister's face. For the first time she noticed that Santana had puffy eyes from crying. The eight year old looked over quickly at Quinn and her frown grew even deeper. Quinn had her head bowed slightly and her eyes were glazed over. The look of the older two girls whom she loved so incredibly much made her heart feel heavy. They both looked so sad...and she had caused that.

Rachel looked back at Santana before she lowered her head in shame. "I'm sorry." She mumbled quietly.

"I know you are Boo," Santana started. "I just need you to think about things like this more. I need you to be more careful."

Rachel nodded her head as she looked up to look her sister in the eye, forgetting about Quinn and Mike's existence in this moment. "I don't mean to make you scared. I've been trying to be really good ever since-"

Santana quickly finished Rachel's sentence in her head and felt her heart race at where the eight year old was about to go. The older brunette frantically looked up at Mike before she pulled Rachel closer to her side as she cut the eight year old off. "Okay Rach. It's okay, I'm sorry. I should have been watching you better anyway. I should be the one apologizing, not you baby."

She had to cut off her sister because she could see that Rachel was going to bring up _his_ name. Her heart was racing from the mortifying thought of Mike asking what and who Rachel would have been talking about had the eight year old finished her last sentence. Talking about her rape and rapist with someone outside of the family was not something she was ready for. She didn't even like talking about it with her family. She couldn't fathom sharing the horrifying story with just anyone, let alone Mike... the only guy she could let herself smile while being with. She didn't want to ruin this happiness she felt when she was with him by opening up and revealing the truth. Not yet. She just couldn't.

Rachel reached out away from Santana and hugged Mike as tightly as her little arms could, bringing Santana out from her own thoughts. "Thank you for helping me find my sissy and Quinn." Rachel said innocently with a squeeze as she smiled.

"Sure thing, kiddo," he smiled down at Rachel again before he looked up and let out a small laugh as he met Santana's eyes. Her smiling at the young girl hugging him made his heart melt. He loved that smile.

Quinn continued to watch with a heavy heart as Santana and Mike talked about how Mike had found Rachel. She stood by as Mike retold the story of how he figured out that the lost child he found in the corner crying was in fact the littlest Lopez. She was standing with the other three people but she wasn't really in the conversation. Not really.

All of a sudden all Quinn could hear was the mall cop's words echoing in her ear. She felt her chest get tighter as she thought about how seriously bad this day could have turned out if it wasn't for Mike. Quinn chewed on her lip as she realized how stupid she had been to let an eight year old out of her sight. All of this happened because she was so set on avoiding the topic that Santana had slyly attempted to bring up, again. She was too busy thinking about her own life failures to realize that she was failing Rachel by not looking out for her in the crowded mall. The cop had been right. She shouldn't have been trusted to be responsible for the eight year old. She couldn't be responsible when it came to taking care of someone else, not when she was too messed up to begin with.

Quinn felt her chest getting tighter and tighter as all of these thoughts flashed across her mind. She looked up at Santana and saw her laughing at something Mike had just said. Quinn noticed the smile that was on Mike's lips and the happy look that was on Rachel's. She couldn't be here right now. She couldn't do this. She couldn't do any of this. Quinn turned on her heel and quickly headed for the bathrooms. She needed to get some space. She felt her breathing getting shorter and she felt her heart racing as the tears begun to sting her eyes. She couldn't break down in front of everyone in the middle of the food court...she had to get to the bathroom. Quinn picked up her pace as she started jogging to make it to the restrooms and to get out of the crowded public place.

Mike finally tore his eyes from Santana as he noticed a familiar looking blonde walking away from them at a fast pace in the other direction. He frowned as he looked over next to Santana where Quinn had previously been before he looked back at the now jogging blonde. Why was Quinn running towards the bathrooms? What happened?

He cleared his throat. "Uh...is everything okay with Quinn?"

Santana frowned at Mike's random question. Of course everything was okay with- Santana's thoughts froze as she realized that her best friend wasnt standing next to her anymore. She looked at Mike with a questioning gaze and then followed his pointing finger and looked over her shoulder just in time to see Quinn disappear into the hallway that led to the bathrooms.

"She just headed over there..she didn't look too well."

Mike's words brought Santana's focus back to the cute teenage boy. She shook her head as she looked down at Rachel who was now looking up at her with the same questioning gaze. Santana reached out and grabbed her sister's hand as she looked back up at Mike.

"I uh...I should go check on her. I don't know..." Santana shook her head, unsure of what to say. She cleared her throat as she took a few steps backward away from the boy. "I'll uh...call you later?"

"Yea, sure." Mike corrected himself nervously, "i mean, that would be great. I look forward to it." He said with a smile.

Santana couldn't help but smile at him in return she nodded her head and turned to walk away only to quickly stop and turn around again. She looked down at Rachel before meeting Mike's eyes again. "Thank you again. For everything...really. Thank you."

Mike shrugged his shoulders as he blushed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Really it was nothin' she's a great kid." He smiled at the eight year old.

Santana felt her smile grow as she squeezed Rachel's hand in her own. She nodded her head. "Talk to you later," she said quickly. With that she turned on her heel and headed in the direction she saw Quinn disappear in minutes prior with Rachel in tow.

...

Santana walked into the women's restrooms with Rachel's hand held firmly in her own. She walked up and down the long corridor, looking underneath every stall, but there was no Quinn in sight. She furrowed her brows. "Quinn?" she hollered out into the bathroom which echoed her call back. No one answered, but a toilet suddenly flushed a few stalls down from where her and Rachel had been standing. Santana took a few long strides as she held onto Rachel's hand towards the stall that flushed.

"Excuse me?" A tall red headed lady said as she opened the door to the two girls.

"Sorry," Santana quickly mumbled as she yanked Rachel and herself out of the woman's way.

"QUINN!" Santana tried again louder this time and then paused for an answer. She was met yet again with silence.

"Why was Quinn running to the bathroom to begin with?" Rachel asked from Santana's side.

The older brunette looked down at her little sister. "Um..." She began as she bit her lip. She didn't have time to come up with a lie for Rachel. She had to find Quinn. Her heart was racing. She had just lost her sister and now minutes later she had lost her best friend? She was never coming back to this mall ever again.

"Maybe she had to pee really really badly." Rachel offered in her sister's silence. "OR!" Rachel blurted suddenly which caused Santana to look down at the little girl with raised eyebrows, hopeful that Rachel had seen where Quinn had gone since it obviously couldn't have been the women's restrooms. "Maybe she got mud butt!"

Santana scrunched her nose. "Rachel," she scolded. "You know you aren't allowed to talk like that."

"You and Quinn call it that. I don't see why I can't." the eight year old countered back. "It's better than the real word. Diarrhea is just gross."

"Rachel I'm not having this conversation right now. Please stop." Santana begged as she gripped her kid sister's hand tighter and began to walk back to the bathroom's entrance again, checking underneath each stall one more time before exiting.

She frowned as she walked briskly out of the girl's restrooms. She was sure that she was going to find Quinn in there. The only reason she could think of for Quinn to have been running to the bathroom was morning sickness. But it was the afternoon...She shook her head. She remembered an episode of Grey's Anatomy had explained once that morning sickness could really last all day. Grey's Anatomy was legit right? They have real medical people help write and direct the show didn't they? Santana's frown grew. What other reason could she have for running to the bathrooms? She did go to the bathroom right? But...the bathrooms were empty. No Quinn.

The brunette paused only for a second before she noticed the family bathroom door closed across the hall from them. Santana pulled Rachel along as she reached for the large door. As soon as she swung open the door to the stroller waiting area she could hear muffled sobs. The brunette pulled her little sister along as she opened the other door which led to the actual bathrooms only to be greeted by the noise of loud sobbing. She didn't have to call out. Santana knew that that was the sound of her friend's cries, but the brunette bent down to verify that it was in fact Quinn who was crying in the closed stall. As soon as she saw the shoes that Quinn had chosen to wore that day, Santana stood up straight and pulled Rachel with her out of the bathroom back to the stroller waiting area. The teenager let out a heavy breath as she looked down at her little sister who was already looking up at her with a frown.

"Is Quinn crying?" Rachel asked honestly.

Santana sighed as she walked with her little sister hand in hand to the plush chair that was set up in the corner of the tiny room. She sat her sister in it and crouched down in front of the youngest brunette. "I'm going to go talk to Quinn okay Rach? I need you to stay here."

"But why is Quinnie crying?"

Santana looked into her little sister's eyes and saw that Rachel was genuinely worried about the blonde. As Santana thought of the only reason that Quinn could be crying it made her heart ache even more knowing that it was something she couldn't tell her sister. Quinn hadn't told any of the adults yet...she sure as hell wasn't going to explain to her baby sister that Quinn had her own baby in her stomach. The pregnancy talk was not something Santana was ready to do with the eight year old. Santana shook her head. "I'm not sure," Santana lied. "I gotta go check on her though."

"Can I help?"

The brunette smiled at the eight year old softly. "No, baby. Just sit here and relax okay?"

"I can help! I make Quinn laugh a lot." Rachel insisted.

"I know you do, boo. But now isn't the time." Santana pushed.

"But-" Rachel attempted to protest.

Santana shook her head. "Here," she pushed her cellphone into her little sister's hands. "Play a game or listen to music...We won't be that long. I promise."

Rachel looked at the phone in her hands and then sighed. "Okay..." she said sadly.

The teenager stood up and kissed the top of her kid sister's head before she walked to the large entry door to the family bathroom. She turned the lock on the door and then looked back at Rachel. "I'm locking the door so no one can come in okay? That way both you and I know that you are safe. Okay?"

Rachel simply nodded her head and then watched her sister walk back across the small room to the other door that she knew Quinn was crying behind. Once she noticed her sister disappear behind the door, the eight year old looked down at her sister's phone. With a heavy sigh she opened up her favorite app. Usually she would be more than thrilled that Santana let her play on her phone since it wasn't too often that she got the opportunity... but right now, as she listened to the muffled sounds of Quinn's cries she wasn't really in the mood to play any games.

...

Santana walked back into the bathroom portion of the family bathroom and locked the door behind her to ensure that Rachel wouldn't come barging in at any point. She let out a sigh as the sounds of Quinn's sobs seemed to swallow her in the small bathroom. With that, Santana walked towards the stall that she knew Quinn was inside of, thankful that the bathroom had been empty to begin with. Santana let out one more breath before she pushed open the stall's door, sending a quick thanks for not letting it be locked, and entered the space she knew Quinn was occupying. Santana froze when she saw her best friend. Quinn didn't even react to her re-entry. The blonde was huddled in a small ball next to the toilet, not caring that she was resting on a public mall's bathroom floor. Her hysterical crying was interrupted occasionally by heavy sobs which each time made Santana have miniature heart attacks wondering if her friend had stopped breathing.

Santana couldn't move. She had never seen her best friend like this. In all the eight years she had been best friends with the blonde she had never ever seen Quinn this hysterical. She didn't know what to do, it scared her to see Quinn like this. It also made Santana pause and think about how she must have looked similar the night that she had confessed what had really happened in the woods during the party. The night she was raped, she had confessed it finally to her best friend and had been this hysterical herself once the words had left her lips. Thinking of the memory snapped Santana into action.

She lowered herself down onto the nasty public bathroom's floor and put her arm around her best friend, pulling the blonde into a hug. As Quinn cried into her chest she felt her shirt become wet with the girl's tears and she felt Quinn grabbing onto the fabric strongly as if she was grabbing onto it for life. Santana simply rested her chin on the top of Quinn's head and rubbed small circles into her person's back as she whispered small nothings in order to calm and hush the sobbing girl.

"I can't do t-this. I...I can't." Quinn finally began to speak through her sobs.

Santana frowned. She had no idea where this had came from. One minute they were all excited and happy and relieved to have found Rachel and the next Quinn was running to the bathroom...to sob on the floor. The brunette obviously knew this had to be related to the pregnancy but she didn't understand how. Quinn had spent so much time avoiding the topic that Santana had found herself unsure of what exactly Quinn was referring to in this moment.

"I...I can't even k-k-keep track of a freaking eight year old." Quinn sobbed into Santana's chest again. "H-how the hell am I s-s-upposed to be a moth-" Quinn cut herself off with a loud sob and cry as she shook her head and began to hyperventilate into Santana's chest.

Santana let out a breath. Now she understood. Her heart ached seeing her best friend like this. Santana squeezed her arms tighter around the blonde once she felt Quinn's breathing becoming more sporadic. Quinn needed to calm down or else she would pass out. Being like this wasn't good for anyone...especially not Quinn...especially not in her situation. Santana nodded her head at herself as she kissed the top of Quinn's crying head.

"Breathe Quinn... just breathe. In through your nose out through your mouth. Breathe with me..." Santana started as she held her best friend close.

Quinn started to breathe better but before Santana could let out a breath of relief, the blonde started crying heavier again. "I'm sixteen. I'm s-s-sixteen San... This...T-this can't be happening..." Quinn shook her head into her best friend's damp shirt as she squeezed the material she had gathered in her hands even tighter. "Please tell me this is a d-dream. I n-need it to be a long long d-dream. I'm r-r-ready to wake up now. Please...Santana please...wake me up."

With that Quinn started sobbing even heavier than she had before. Santana could hear that she was having a hard time breathing because of her now stuffed nose. Santana started breathing heavier herself, unsure of what to do. This was tearing her apart inside but in this moment she needed to force herself to stay together and be strong. Quinn needed her to be strong.

"Hey...sh... Quinn...It's going to be okay. It'll all be okay I promise." Santana said above the blonde's sobs.

Quinn suddenly pushed herself away from her best friend and looked into the brunette's eyes as she gave her a look that read 'how the hell could you say that.' Quinn quickly shook her head. "It's not! It won't be!"

Santana took in the puffiness and wetness of Quinn's face. The amount of tears that had just come from her best friend were record breaking. She looked past the physicality of it all and then took in the sadness and hurt that covered the blonde's face as her brown eyes pierced her own. Santana sighed as she reached out and ran her hand through her best friend's hair gently. "We'll figure this out Quinn...the world isn't over it's just changed-"

Quinn shrugged off Santana's hand. "Santana. My world? It IS over." She said strongly cutting off her best friend as she began to wipe the never ending trail of tears from her face.

Santana leaned forward. "Quinn. I know what it feels like to think that the world is over. I know that feeling." Santana watched as Quinn's eyes continued to stare into her own, making it impossible to maintain eye contact as she spoke about her rape and attack. The brunette shifted her eyes to the toilet next to them as she continued. "I understand being so scared that you can't even bring yourself to want to breathe. I even understand what it's like to make up a lie to yourself and for everyone around you in order to make living easier..."

Santana trailed off as she thought about the first few hours that followed her rape. She had lied to everyone and had even tried to lie to herself but unfortunately the pain had been too great to let her forget what had happened in the woods. The brunette had told her mother and best friends that she had gotten into a fight...that was easier to tell them than it would have been speaking the truth. She shook her head finally bringing herself back to look Quinn directly in the eyes. "But you have to believe me when I tell you that this isn't the end. I'm always going to be here for you, and so is Rachel and my mom and Ruth-"

All of this was too much, and with the mention of Mama Lopez and Ruth, Quinn suddenly felt her stomach lurch. "Oh god!" she exclaimed before spinning around and emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet violently. As the putrid smell burned her nose all she could think about was standing in front of Mama Lopez and saying the words out loud to her face. The thought made her vomit some more as she clenched the side of the toilet in her hands. Seeing Santana's face was hard enough when she realized what was happening with everything...when her best friend had put two and two together, but seeing Mama Lopez's? The woman who has always been there for her and given her so much more than she deserves? How the hell was she supposed to do this?

Quinn finally sat back from the toilet and slowly shrugged off her best friend's hand from her back as she wiped her mouth with a paper towel that Santana had given her. Tears began to fall quickly again. "I can't say the words out loud. I can't..." Her voice was so much more quiet than it had been previously. The blonde shook her head slowly as she looked at Santana before looking down at her lap. "Can't you see how much of a failure I am? How stupid?"

Santana grabbed her best friend's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You aren't either of those things."

Quinn looked at the brunette's hand numbly as it continued to squeeze her shoulder. "I let my dad verbally tear me down day after day. I let him hit me so hard that I would bleed or bruise for days time and time again-"

Santana removed her hand from the blonde. "Quinn you didn't LET him-"

Before the brunette could continue Quinn cut her off. "And now I let some...dumb, good for nothing asshole..." Her voice cracked as she spoke. "I let him...cum inside of me time after time after time... because he swore that I c-couldn't get..." Quinn cut herself off with a shake of her head. She couldn't say the word. "Yet here I am..." She pointed down at her stomach with a short inappropriate laugh. "I'm such a pathetic idiot."

Santana was staring intently at her best friend as the words she had just spoken seemed to rattle around in her ears. She had to do everything she could to keep her jaw from dropping open in shock. "You let him..." Santana shook her head, "...inside of you?" She didn't know this. She didn't know this at all. How was this the first time this was being talked about?

"Santana..." Quinn's quiet voice broke through to Santana's thoughts.

Santana looked up slowly at her best friend and saw that she needed her to say something else than what she had just said, but the brunette couldn't quite yet."I'm sorry...I'm sorry I just..." Santana tried to put a sentence together as she looked at Quinn but she couldn't. Not with this new bit of information. All Santana could think about was that night in the woods. Suddenly it hit her, she squeezed her eyes closed as the memory flashed through her mind.

_Santana's back arched and a muffled cry turned into a long loud moan. It was happening. It was like all the pain she was feeling had been forgotten for this split second. Her body was betraying her. Spasms ran through her body as she gripped onto him harder. Then she felt him release as he moaned loudly into her neck._

_Once she felt the fluid stop rushing from him inside of her, once the euphoric feeling of pleasure quickly was replaced with the return of all the throbbing pain all Santana could do was hold her breath. He pulled out of her slowly, she could feel his and her wetness seep out along with him. It was done. He was lying on top of the young brunette trying to catch his breath as she try to hold as still as she could in order to protect herself from further pain and further disgust. _

Santana shook her head in order to get the images of him finishing inside of her after he was done raping her out of her mind. She looked up at Quinn with watery eyes as she quickly wiped it away before they could turn to tears. She could see that Quinn was trying to silently beg her to say something but the brunette couldn't. All she could think about was how none of this made any sense. Quinn used to lecture and preach about condoms. She was basically the queen of condoms. She always made every guy she had ever slept with wear one, every time...no matter what. The blonde had always told her that when Santana was ready to have sex, she needed to make sure that the guy used a condom, EVEN if he didn't want to. _'No condom? No sex. We don't want STDs...or any of that baby bullshit.'_ Quinn had said on more than one occasion.

Thinking back to that Quinn made Santana's heart ache. The thought of how low Finn must have made Quinn feel in order to get her to throw out her number one rule made her stomach churn. Somehow Finn had gotten her to not only forget about using condoms but he convinced her to let him finish inside of her? On multiple occasions? Her blood was boiling. She was going to kill him. Finn Hudson was as good as dead.

"Santana...say something..." Quinn's cracked voice finally broke through to Santana.

The brunette refocused on her best friend, trying her best to pull herself together. "Why didn't you use a condom?"

Quinn lowered her head slowly. "I told you...I'm an idiot..." her voice was barely above a whisper.

Santana shook her head. "He didn't want to use one did he? He pressured you to forget your number one rule?"

Quinn avoided Santana's questions. "We both didn't want to use one." Quinn said simply.

Santana could see that Quinn was lying. She could tell by the look on the blonde's face that Quinn needed that statement to be true. Santana shook her head as she let out a sigh. It didn't matter anyway...what was done was done. That wasn't the problem she should be focusing on now. She would beat Finn's ass for it later, but right now she needed to get her best friend off of the bathroom floor and convince her that it was time to go home.

...

Quinn, Santana and Rachel were all walking towards the car. Quinn was a few strides ahead of Santana and Rachel who was holding onto her sister's hand firmly. They had been silent since leaving the bathroom as they all walked, but the eight year old wasn't comfortable with the silence anymore. She looked up at her big sister with a frown. "Sanny?"

Santana looked away from the back of her best friend's head down to her little sister. She gave Rachel a small smile as she gently squeezed her hand. "What's up kiddo?"

"Why is Quinn sad?" Rachel asked bluntly.

Santana had to focus in order to keep a calm smile on her face so that she wouldn't raise any suspicion in her little sister. "Don't worry about it boo."

"No. I wanna know." Rachel ripped her hand from Santana's quickly.

"Rach!" Santana called to protest as her sister ran to catch up to Quinn.

"Quinn?" The eight year old asked innocently as she grabbed the blonde's hand. She looked into Quinn's eyes as the teenager attempted to smile at the eight year old. "What's wrong?" As soon as the words left Rachel's lips she noticed the blonde's face fall. Rachel shook her head and continued. "You were so sad...I could hear you crying through the door... I...are you okay? Did something happen to you?"

Quinn tried her hardest to put her mask back on while talking to Rachel. She couldn't let the young girl see that she was on the brink of falling apart again. Quinn took in a breath. "No sweetie..nothing happened to me." Quinn sighed as she gave Rachel's hand a squeeze. She knew that Rachel always assumed the worst now since Mama Lopez had explained what had happened to Santana to the young girl. Rachel was only eight. She couldn't wrap her mind around what rape was, and she shouldn't have to, but because of her age and because she had seen how Santana acted after hers...Rachel automatically assumed that when someone was crying that they were hurt by someone. Someone like Guillermo Chavez. That wasn't Quinn's case at all. She had caused her own pain.

Rachel frowned and thought for a moment. Quinn almost thought she had convinced her by how long her silence was but the eight year old shook her head suddenly. "But you were crying," Rachel said again.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about it. It wasn't really a big deal."

"What was it?" Rachel asked as she looked over her shoulder at her sister who was shaking her own head, silently asking Rachel to stop.

"My head just hurt." Quinn lied quickly.

Rachel looked up at the blonde who was avoiding her eyes as they approached Santana's car. "Really?" she asked.

"Yep," the blonde said casually seeing if she could distract the child with lies. She had become good at distracting with lies. Quinn opened up the back door for Rachel to climb in so that she could avoid Santana's gaze from across the car.

"Oh," Rachel said with a pensive stare. "Okay..."

...

**A/N: I am SO sorry this has taken so long to post. I have had so much going on. Life has not been too kind to a group of my loved ones and it has taken a toll on my wanting to write. I do want to thank Beaner008 for all her help with this chapter. You are a wonderful friend and I love you so much! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter...please let me know what you think. I have most of the next chapter written out already so it shouldn't take too long to post at all. I promise. Reviews are so much appreciated. **


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: My birthday is tomorrow, and call me unconventional but I'm not really a fan of receiving gifts. I am much more of a giver...SO in honor of my birthday, I decided to give you readers the next chapter. I worked really hard to crank this out so I could finish it prior to my birthday. I would like to promise to get the next chapter out to you quickly but I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. While things should be slowing down in my personal life, I now need to play catch up with school. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

Chapter 10

Santana sat on the edge of her best friend's bed. She had been up all night thinking about Quinn's situation, about the secrets and the lying, and about her breakdown. She shook her head and corrected herself. She had been unable to sleep well since Quinn's breakdown at the mall a few days prior. Quinn had actively avoided her since they arrived home after the mall that day...Santana had finally had enough. So now here she was, sitting on the edge of Quinn's bed trying to figure out the best way to go about all of this.

She had so many things in her head that she wanted to say to her best friend, but she didn't know how to start the conversation. She didn't know how to wake Quinn up. Santana felt a small pang in her chest. She had never ever had a problem waking her best friend up in any of the years that she's known her. Nor had she ever had a problem talking to her person. Quinn was the one person in the entire world that she could talk to about anything and everything...and yet somehow in this moment her tongue felt as if it were tied in knots and chained down to the bottom of her mouth.

Quinn turned her head with a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head. When she opened her eyes she yelped out, "God!" The blonde let out a breath and felt herself relax when she focused her disoriented sleepy eyes enough to put together the fact that the person who was sitting on the edge of her bed watching her sleep was none other than Santana. "What the hell?" she asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up. "Good morning, creeper." Quinn smiled at her best friend gently as she brushed the hair out of her face.

Santana watched as the small smirk that was previously on Quinn's face quickly fell when the blonde took in her somber and serious body language and facial expression. Santana looked her best friend directly in the eyes. "When are you going to tell my mom, Quinn?"

Quinn immediately frowned. "Seriously?" She looked at the clock and saw that they had nearly 45 minutes to get ready before they would have to leave for the first day of Cheer intensives. Santana's voice brought her attention back to her.

"Yes seriously. Quinn this is not going away. You need to tell her." Santana pressed.

Quinn sighed heavily as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Not this again, Santana."

"I thought after your breakdown in the mall that you were going to..." Santana trailed off as she watched her friend stand up from the bed and cross the room to sit down in front of her vanity mirror.

Quinn picked up her brush only to slam it down a second later. She looked into the mirror and met her best friend's eyes via the reflection. "Santana. I literally just woke up. Can we not?" With that the blonde quickly picked up the brush and begun untangling her hair.

Santana left the bed and walked across the room to stand directly behind her best friend's chair. She shook her head as she continued to talk to Quinn in the reflection of the mirror. "It's been a week since I've known... and a lot longer since you've known."

Quinn paused her strokes as she suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of how long it had been. "I know how long it has been." Her voice was suddenly a lot quieter than it had been previously.

"Do you? Do you really?"

Quinn gave up at brushing her hair in this particular moment. She put her brush down and turned in her chair to face her friend. "What is up with you today San? Can we just drop this? I literally just woke up and I'm trying to get ready so we can leave on time."

"No. I'm sick of dropping this." Santana stepped to the side as her best friend quickly walked past her to the other side of the room where her closet was located. The brunette continued to talk even though the blonde disappeared inside the closet. "I haven't told my mom anything...I've kept this from Ruth-"

Quinn popped her head out of the closet with her Cheerleading uniform in hand as she cut her friend off. "And I'm thankful for that." Quinn begun to go back into her closet but was abruptly stopped.

"I wasn't done speaking." Santana said strongly as she placed her hands on her hips angrily. "I'm pissed off at you, Quinn."

Quinn took a few steps out of her closet as she held the uniform in front of her. She let out a breath as she felt her heart rip at her friend's words. She had no intention of making Santana mad. She had no intention in her best friend finding out about this whole ordeal to begin with. Hell, she had no intention in getting into this predicament in the first place. It's been one fuck up after the other. Quinn looked down at her uniform as she spoke slowly. "I'm sorry that I've disappointed you-"

Santana shook her head as she cut off her best friend. "Cut the shit. That isn't what I mean and you know it." The brunette sighed before looking her best friend in the eyes again. "You know...I thought that we don't keep secrets from each other. You...you came barging in my room and yelled at me when you found out that I was hiding a secret from you the last time I tried..." Santana trailed off.

Quinn squinted her eyes at her best friend as she thought about what Santana was referring to. It clicked instantly. She knew exactly what her best friend was talking about. Santana's rapist... that pig of a man had managed to get Rachel to let him in the house. He had convinced the eight year old that he was friends with Santana and had her bring him to the kitchen where he waited for the older brunette to find him alone with the young girl. Guillermo Chavez had enjoyed the fear that took over Santana when she walked into the kitchen to find him having a conversation with her baby sister. He had come to show Santana that she better keep her mouth shut. He came to prove that he knew where she lived and that he hadn't forgotten about her. He came to put even more fear in the sixteen year old than he had already done by attacking and raping her via reiterating her need to remain silent. However, the main reason that asshole had showed his face in the house? To threaten Rachel. He had told Santana that if she spoke about what had happened...that he would come back again and do the same to her eight year old sister, make her watch and then do worse to her.

As Quinn thought about that instance it made the fire in her stomach burn harsher. Santana hadn't called her after he left. She hadn't called her at all, and she knew that her best friend wasn't planning on ever calling or telling her what had happened that night. Santana was planning on keeping the fact that her rapist had been INSIDE her house while her mother was at work a secret from everyone. The only reason Quinn had found out was because Rachel had talked about 'Santana's creepy guy friend' being at the house and making Santana angry and weird. Santana was trying to keep the fact that her rapist knew where she lived a secret. That was different. Way different than Quinn's situation. Santana's secret was a dangerous one, one that could have...and did...get her hurt. Quinn's secret was something that when discovered was just going to have people be disappointed with her. This was all on her, she couldn't blame anyone else. There was no one else to blame.

Quinn suddenly shook her head as she felt herself begin to get even more angry. How dare Santana compare what happened to her to what was going on with her situation. Santana was innocent, she on the other hand was SO not. "That is so different." Quinn snapped as she hid behind her closet door in order to get dressed in the uniform that was in her hands.

Santana's brows furrowed. She was attempting to piece together in her head how the hell her best friend could think that what she was referring to was different than what was happening now. She was almost too distracted with that thought that she barely had time to realize that Quinn, who was typically the least shy person alive, was hiding behind her closet door to change clothes. Now not only was the blonde hiding secrets from her, she was hiding her body too? Santana focused on the topic at hand as she shook her head. Secrets. Yes, the situations between what she had been through and what Quinn was currently going through were not similar; however, the lying and secrecy of it all definitely was. Quinn had been SO angry at her for not telling her the truth that day. She had lectured her for what felt like an hour about how they were each other's persons and that meant never keeping secrets... Santana shook her head as she felt herself get angrier. "It is not different at all."

Quinn emerged from behind the closet door clad in her cheerleading uniform. "Santana...it is. You were in danger. Actual danger." The blonde walked past her best friend again back to her vanity and began to brush her hair into a ponytail.

Santana stood up straighter. "And you are pregnant."

Quinn turned on her heel at the speed of light, her hands frozen in place mid-styling. "Keep your voice down!" She hissed quickly as her eyes darted towards her bedroom door. She perked her ears up as she strained to hear if anyone was outside her door who could have heard Santana's loud mouth. The blonde finally was able to move again when she realized that she was the only one who could have heard Santana's outburst. She quickly finished putting her hair into a ponytail.

Santana looked from the door back to her friend as she shook her head. Her statement had been a lot more blunt than she had intended it to, and wasn't really thought out. She hadn't planned on saying it, nevermind saying it as loud as she had. She fidgeted with her own cheerleading uniform before sighing and lowering her voice again. "I'm sorry but you need to hear it Quinn. You are pregnant and you aren't facing it. You hid it from me and lied to me...lied to my face time after time after time again. It is complete bullshit that you yelled at me about keeping a secret only to turn around and do the same exact thing...except worse." Santana let out a sarcastic laugh. "I thought we didn't keep secrets anymore."

Quinn felt Santana's words dig deep into her heart. She sighed as she bent down and picked up her sneakers from the floor. "Things change." She said quietly and simply as she sat down on her bed and began to put her shoes on.

Santana raised her eyebrows at her friend's explanation and response. "Oh, so our friendship changed?"

The blonde quickly darted her head up to look at her friend as she paused putting on her second shoe. That wasn't what she had meant at all. "No-"

Before Quinn could continue, Santana cut her off. The brunette looked at the blonde seriously. "You are my person. You are my person and you hid this from me for TWO MONTHS Quinn." She felt tears begin to sting her eyes. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

Quinn saw the tears. She had no idea how her heart was still beating from how many times it felt like it had been torn by the brutal truth her best friend was laying on her. "I..." Quinn began to answer but then realized that she didn't have an answer.

Santana shook her head as she blinked her eyes rapidly in order to keep from crying. "Because since you are STILL avoiding the fact that you have yet to tell an adult... that leads me to believe that you weren't ever planning on telling me, where you?"

Quinn looked up at her best friend. She didn't have anything to say. She had no idea if she was ever going to tell Santana or not. It wasn't something she liked to think of herself...so how could she have had time to think about whether or not the time was right to tell Santana? It wasn't that she had been lying to her best friend... the blonde instantly stopped her thoughts as she frowned at herself. She had lied to Santana, time and time again...but it wasn't because she didn't want to tell her...it was because she didn't want her problem to exist. There was a big difference. Wasn't there? Quinn slowly slid on her other shoe.

Santana shook her head at her person's silence. The silence gave her her answer. The answer was no, Quinn had not planned on telling her. "Thats what I thought."

Quinn looked up at Santana as she sighed. "I'm sorry..."

"No you aren't." The brunette replied quickly.

Quinn could see that Santana wasn't just angry. She was clearly hurting on the inside as well. It all sucked...everything about this sucked and it was all because of... Quinn shook her head. "I don't know how to say it Santana. I..." The blonde trailed off. She looked down at her self as she sat on the edge of her bed then she looked over at the clock that was on her nightstand. Why was she having this conversation so early in the morning? Why was she having this conversation at all? She suddenly couldn't control how angry she was beginning to feel towards her best friend. The fact that Santana had woken her up with this and attempted to get into this issue before she even had a chance to go to the bathroom was beginning to make her blood boil. She hadn't even brushed her teeth yet for goodness sake.

The blonde suddenly stood up from her bed and looked Santana directly in the eyes with an equally as challenging glare. "You know what? We arent having this conversation. I'm ready, lets go. We can't be late for cheer camp." With that the blonde brushed by her best friend, leaving Santana standing alone in her bedroom as she headed towards her bathroom so she could brush her teeth before they left for intensives.

...

Santana ran down the stairs with her tote in hand. She had forgotten it up on her bed with all the chaos of the morning. Quinn was already waiting in the car with it running, desperately trying her best to flee from the house. She wasn't too happy about having to drive to intensives together but Shelby had insisted on it. Santana rolled her eyes at herself, and since Quinn didn't want to cause any suspicion she hadn't really put up a fight. Instead the blonde had just grabbed her tote with a huff and slammed the front door on her way to her car.

That was when the brunette realized that she didn't have her tote ready and with anger and annoyance lighting the fire beneath her feet she climbed the stairs two at a time in order to throw together her bag of necessities so she wouldn't have Quinn waiting in the car too long alone.

She nearly knocked her mother over when she turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs.

"Woah, San. Calm down, you two won't be late." Shelby said with a smile at her daughter. When her daughter simply rolled her eyes with a hawty sigh in response Shelby's smile quickly faded. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Santana asked back with attitude. "Quinn...she's so..." Santana trailed off and gave a frustrated groan. She felt like she could strangle her best friend right now. The young brunette focused her eye's on her mother's and saw that the older woman's was full of confusion.

Santana finally let out a sigh as she felt her body release some of its tension as the realization of why she was mad at her person finally caught up to her. She looked her mother in the eyes and gazed into them. "Mom...I need..." Santana trailed off slowly.

She needed to tell her mom. She needed to tell an adult. Things were getting out of hand with Quinn, she was worried about her best friend, yet somehow she couldn't make her tongue function to push out the words. The last time she had told Quinn's secret to her mother it ended up hurting Quinn. When she had finally confided in her mother about Quinn's father's abuse... things had gotten really bad for the blonde that night. While she was thankful to have Quinn living with them, and the brunette knew that it was because she had finally spoken and gotten her removed from the abusiveness, deep down she still felt bad for turning Quinn's life upside down. Perhaps if none of this had happened then Quinn wouldn't be in the predicament she was in now. She certainly would have been in a better place to tell Finn to shove it when he attempted to go bareback. If she didn't think so little of herself after her father and mother gave her up so easily than her and Finn would have used a condom, or she wouldn't have slept with him at all... Santana shook her head... but that would mean that she would still be living in an abusive household. The thought of which side of the situation would be better made Santana's eyes sting with tears. Abusive household versus teen pregnancy. She absolutely hated that this was what Quinn's life had come to and in this moment the brunette felt an extreme anger at life for giving her person the world's shittiest hand of cards.

"San?" Shelby asked cautiously as she attempted to bring her daughter back from wherever it was that her mind had just gone.

Santana focused on her mother again. She cleared her throat. "Mom...I need-"

Suddenly a car horn sounded out front. It was Quinn. She was getting impatient waiting in her car.

Shelby turned back to her daughter just as Santana met her eyes again. The brunette readjusted her bag on her shoulder as she looked down at her feet. She couldn't tell her mom. Not here not now, not like this. Standing on the stairs, not knowing whether or not her eight year old sister was in earshot while Quinn sat outside in a running car was not the way that this news should be given or received.

Santana sighed. "I need a few dollars so we can buy water refills. We only had two bottles here." Her excuse was legitimate...but it wasn't nearly what she wanted to say.

Shelby eyed her daughter suspiciously as she handed over the five dollar bill she was planning on giving to Santana or Quinn for that very same reason. "You sure everything is okay?" She asked skeptically.

"Yea, I really gotta go... Thanks Ma." With that Santana kissed her mother on the cheek and breezed by the woman gripping the five dollar bill in hand as she rushed out of the front door. This sucked. this all sucked.

...

Today was Day One of Cheer Intensives and it was kicking everyone's ass, but as Quinn looked around the field...it seemed that she was the one who was suffering the most. She felt completely exhausted. Coach had already made a comment about them needing to get more sleep when they know they have intensives the next day, which Quinn knew for a fact was aimed directly at her. But how was she supposed to get a full nights sleep when she couldn't get comfortable or when her mind was racing so much? It felt like the only time she could actually get to sleep was around 5 a.m., which didn't leave a lot of time for deep sleep seeing as how they seemed to always have to wake up early for something or the other: final exams, Rachel's early as hell internal clock, or like today's Cheer intensives. On top of that she had to deal with her best friend's concerned glances every other minute. She knew that Santana was just worried about her but it didn't annoy the blonde any less. Besides the blow up from her best friend this morning, Santana had also continued to pressure Quinn into telling Mama Lopez or even Ruth the past few days every chance she got... but Quinn couldn't bring herself to do so. Not just yet at least. Soon, she had promised her person. In the meantime she was determined to lead a normal life, and her normal summer included Cheer Intensives.

"Take a two minute break and get some water! Stop panting! These are called INTENSIVES because they are INTENSE! If you can't handle it then mommy and daddy should have paid for the Cheer cubs!" Coach suddenly yelled over her megaphone.

"Cheer cubs would be SO much easier right now." Santana murmured under her breath. She turned to face her best friend. "Remember the good ol days? Oh to be nine years old again..."

Quinn forced a smile to her mouth. She was glad that Santana was talking to her again. The car ride here and the first half of the warm up her best friend had been pissy and silent...so having her talk to her was a nice change in tone and was much appreciated; however, smiling meant using energy that she didn't exactly have. She didn't want Santana to know how tired she was because that would bring up the situation...which would mean more fighting and again...she didn't have the energy for that either. She felt the fake smile pull on her lips as she answered Santana's comment. "Yea, right?"

It must have worked because Santana playfully nudged her in her arm. "Come on, water time." The brunette said as she started jogging towards the benches where Brittany and the rest of the cheerleaders from camp already were.

Quinn bit her lip as she suddenly felt another twinge of pain come from her lower back into her side. She gently placed her hand on her side and stretched over in attempts to get the pinching feeling out. After a few seconds of stretching, it seemed to dull the weird pain, but it didn't help her racing mind. What was happening? The blonde shook her head and started to walk towards Santana and Brittany only to be stopped yet again by the aching pain that returned to her lower back. This stupid pain had been coming and going for the past hour. At first it had been something she could easily push through but all of a sudden it seemed to literally stop her in her tracks as it slowly progressed worse and worse.

The blonde winced as she pushed through the pain in order not to attract attention and reached for her water bottle as soon as she reached the bench. She was thankful that Santana and Brittany seemed to be in mid-conversation. Maybe she was just dehydrated? Quinn went to take a sip of her water but as soon as she lifted the bottle to her lips the pain shot through her back again. She coughed and sputtered the water out of her mouth as the shock made her choke on the liquid.

"Woah, slow down there, hun." Santana said as she turned away from Brittany and began to lightly tap her person's back.

The pain seemed to radiate in Quinn's abdominals as she took a few deep breaths in order to stop choking on the water. The deep breaths weren't making the pain any better. Quinn looked up from the spot on the ground she was just staring at with her hands gripping her own hips. She noticed that Santana had her water bottle in her hands. How did that happen? She must have dropped it. When the brunette offered her water bottle over all Quinn could do was shake her head as she continued to breathe deeply.

"I think...I think I need to go home." The blonde heard herself say as she finally met Santana's eyes.

Santana nodded as she tilted her head back. "Yea today's practice is brutal. I hate agility practice." She shook her head as she recapped her water bottle and set both hers and Quinn's on the bench. "So dumb. And on the first day back too..." She shook her head again with a groan. The brunette looked over at her best friend and paused. Quinn was chewing her lip nervously as she zoned out into the grass again. "You look weird," she blurted out to Quinn. "Why do you look weird?"

Quinn looked up from the grass at Santana again. "I... I need to go home." This time she said it more strongly. She really was starting to feel worse and worse. This weird pain was growing.

Santana's eyes widened as she realized that her friend's statement meant now as opposed to later. Quinn wanted to go home now, and the look on her best friend's face was off... something was wrong. She instantly felt worried. Santana took a step closer to Quinn. "Is everything ok?"

Quinn could only really focus on the pain she felt. It was quickly growing from a dull ache to a sharp shooting pain. She answered Santana's question honestly with a shake of her head. "I don't know." She gripped her hip bones more tightly with her hands as another wave rushed through her body. "I need to go." she said quickly.

"Is it because of..." Santana said lightly as she leaned into Quinn.

The blonde squeezed her eyes shut. "Shut up," she snapped at the brunette sharply. Quinn took another deep breath before finally opening her eyes. She saw Santana's worried face staring back at her and guilt instantly swept through Quinn's being. She knew Santana was just concerned, and was just trying to figure out what was happening...but Quinn didn't even know herself so she wasn't in the mood to hear Santana's rant about needing to tell an adult again. She didn't want to hear what she knew she eventually would have to do, especially not when this pain was making her want to throw up. "Sorry..." she finally breathed to her best friend.

Santana slowly nodded her head, signifying that she accepted Quinn's apology. "There are 4 more hours of cheer camp... do you want me to go with you to tell coach?"

Quinn shook her head again as she bit her lip. "No... I just...No I'm just gonna go home." The blonde took a few steps away from the bench heading towards the exit slowly.

"You aren't going to tell her?" Santana's question made Quinn stop and turn around.

"I can't -" Before Quinn could continue she sucked in a breath of air sharply. The pain had made her cut herself off.

"Quinn?" Santana watched as Quinn focused on her slowly as she started to take another step towards the exit at the same time. "Is everything ok? You are worrying me." Santana said honestly.

"Stop... it's...it's fine." Quinn managed to get out strongly. "I think," she whispered under her breath so Santana couldn't hear. The blonde shook her head, "I'm gonna go... cover for me?"

"Sure..." Santana answered but Quinn had already turned around and started towards the parking lot. As she watched Quinn walk away she noticed that her best friend's normally strong stride was weak and shaky. Santana frowned and jogged to catch up to the blonde. "Are you okay to drive? Tell me what's going on."

Quinn kept her eyes trained on her car, thankful that she was the one who drove today. She just needed to leave this place. She needed to get to her car or somewhere secluded by herself so she could let herself crumble into the pain she felt. Trying to hold it together was becoming increasingly harder and harder to do. The blonde shook her head as she continued to walk. "Santana. I'm fine. I just need to lay down. Go back..." Quinn winced audibly at the pain but then forced herself to continue. "... to practice."

Santana stopped walking as Quinn walked away from her again. She saw her best friend wince and it made her heart skip a beat. "Call me if you need anything. Anything at all." She responded back so that Quinn could hear. She watched as her best friend nodded her head and waved over her shoulder signifying that she had heard what the brunette had said.

"Your two minutes is up! Let's go ladies! Five laps! Go, go go!" Coach's voice rang over her megaphone, breaking Santana's focus away from her best friend and back towards the field. The brunette hesitated before finally sighing and giving in. If something was really wrong then Quinn would call her. Santana nodded at herself before turning to jog back towards the rest of the cheerleaders.

As Quinn walked to her car she felt her heartbeat intensifying with every step. What the hell was going on?

...

Shelby peaked her head into Ruth's office and noticed her friend was scratching her head as she was looking intently at a pile of paperwork. "Hey..."

Ruth looked up from her desk and smiled at Shelby. "Hey you, what's up."

Shelby walked into Ruth's office completely, letting the door swing all the way open. "Let's go grab sushi or something for lunch today."

"You mean...leave the office?"

Shelby smiled at her friend. "Yea, I desperately need sushi."

Ruth shook her head as she looked down at her desk and around her office. "Shel... have you seen my desk? It looks like a hurricane had a baby with a tornado and the whole happy windy family played on my desk."

Shelby looked around her best friend's office and noticed all the piles of paperwork and boxes of supplies and junk that were stacked everywhere. On her best friend's desk she had loose papers mixed with folders mixed with trays of envelops...all things that needed to be looked at and put away. The older brunette nodded her head at her best friend. "It does kinda look like that. Do you need help?"

Ruth sighed. "No... believe it or not there is an order to this madness, I just have to spend some time to get through it all." The woman looked up from her piles and piles of work at her best friend. "But raincheck on the sushi?" she smiled.

Shelby forced a smile to her mouth. "Yea.. no that's fine." With that Shelby found her eyes looking back over Ruth's messy office as she dazed out.

"Hey, space cadet." Ruth said to get her friend's attention.

"Hm?" Shelby shook her head to look back at Ruth and force herself to focus.

"Is everything okay?"

Shelby put a smile on her face again. "Yea..." she trailed off and then gave a loud sigh. "No." She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

Ruth frowned at the three answers her best friend just gave her. She nodded her head to her sofa signaling Shelby to take a seat and have a breather so they could discuss whatever was on Shelby's mind. "What's going on?"

Shelby sat down on the plush couch and grabbed a pillow, bringing it to her lap as she played with the fringed edges idly. "Nothing really but it's just...everything all at once."

Ruth furrowed her brows as she slowly nodded her head...attempting to understand what the hell Shelby had just said. When she couldn't figure it out she finally spoke. "Ok...sooo that didn't really make sense."

Shelby looked up at her friend with a small smile but her smile finally faded as she focused on why she was sitting here talking to her best friend to begin with. She sighed. "I'm just tired. It's summer now you know? That means business picks up here...I've been running around this practice all day getting things organized and picked up and restocked. I've barely had time to sit down at my desk." Ruth nodded her head at her best friend to show she was listening. Shelby took another breath and continued. "And you know, Rachel has to be dropped off and picked up at her dance camps and her vocal classes...And the girls have Cheer intensives during the day, but then I have to make sure they don't kill their little sister at night when I'm at work late. Plus I think Quinn and Santana are fighting-"

Ruth cut Shelby off. "They are fighting?"

Shelby shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really know. They have been kinda weird lately, but when I try to talk to them...it's like they shrug me off so I'm not really sure what is going on, all I know is that this morning there was a lot of slamming of the refrigerator door and bowls before they left for their first day of intensives." The mother sighed as she leaned back further into the couch. "So I'm gonna need to deal with that too... Like I said...It's just everything at once. I just want a break."

Ruth nodded her head. She understood where her friend was coming from. She idolized her best friend so very much for everything she gets accomplished in a day. She tries to help Shelby out with as much as she can, but it never feels like enough. Shelby is the world's greatest mother, and she is a single mother at that. Of three girls. Not only that but she is a co-owner of a successful Pediatric Care Private Practice and still finds time to keep a kept house. Ruth constantly catches herself wondering how the hell Shelby pulls everything off so wonderfully, but she knows that the answer is simply because Shelby Lopez is a one of a kind amazing woman.

She nodded her head again at her best friend. "Well our family vacation is in..." Ruth lifted a few papers off her desk so she could see her big desk calendar and begun counting. "Five weeks," she concluded as she looked back at her best friend with a smile.

"34 days." Shelby said with a nod.

"Woah...alright countdown machine. You really are ready for a vacation."

Shelby let out a sarcastic laugh. "No kidding." Shelby absolutely looked forward to their summer vacation every year. Every single summer her, Ruth, Santana, Rachel and Quinn would go to a different place and spend two weeks at the location relaxing, having fun and spending time together as a family. Her late husband and her started the tradition the year after they got married and they always brought Ruth along. Then when she had Santana, the baby came along as well. Unfortunately Rachel never got to go on a vacation with her father since he passed right after her birth, but just like how Sunday dinners were her husband's tradition she vowed to continue Summer vacation as well. Once Santana met Quinn, the young blonde started to join them on their vacations also and it had been the five of them traveling together ever since.

Ruth gave her friend a kind smile. "Alright well listen... stop stressing so much. Rachel always has her dance and singing over the summer just like she does during the year and between the girls and you and me we always make sure she gets picked up and dropped off on time. As for Santana and Quinn, I would say as long as it doesn't seem to be anything serious...just let them be teenage girls. They'll come to you if it is important. And the practice? We are doing well...busy means we are being successful and that is not a bad thing."

Shelby rolled her eyes. "I know but-"

Ruth shook her head and cut off her best friend. "No buts." She continued with a breath. "So just keep on being your crazy self...and finish your running around the practice putting things away and doing your ordering and filing and all that jazz... and while you do that I'm going to order some Sushi to be delivered for us and we can eat it here."

Shelby shook her head as she frowned at her friend. "You don't have to do that."

Ruth ignored her friend's statement. "Sound good?" She said with her eyebrows raised waiting for an answer.

Shelby sighed heavily as she stood from the couch and tossed the pillow onto it lazily. "Fiiiiiine."

"Alright now get out." Ruth said with a smile as she motioned her head towards the door. "And close my door. I need to tend to my tornicane baby's mess."

Shelby paused at Ruth's office door. She frowned. "Tornicane?"

Ruth nodded her head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Or...Huricado..."

Shelby frowned even deeper for a split second before she realized that her friend was referring to the analogy she had used earlier to describe the mess that was her office and desk top. She smiled and let out a laugh as she rolled her eyes at her friend's ridiculous play on names. She couldn't even come back with a response to the silly statement so instead she just blew her best friend a kiss and closed the door behind her as she walked away from Ruth's office with a smile on her face.

...

Quinn parked her car in the familiar lot. She had been to Mama Lopez' practice countless times. Only this time her goal was not to run into her, she was here to see Ruth, and Ruth alone. As soon as she turned the car off, she was met with another wildly painful cramp. The pain seemed to radiate up her back and wrap around her barely noticeably swollen stomach. This one made her eyes water. All Quinn could do was grab onto her steering wheel tightly as she bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain. Since leaving cheer camp the pain had increased more and more. It was almost to a point where it felt unbearable, so the young teenager didn't know what to do other than seek help from one of the only people she felt she could confide in. All she knew was that this pain had to stop and it had to stop now.

She sat like that for a couple minutes in her car in the parking lot. Finally she reached her shaky hand out to open her car door and gently pulled herself to a standing position. It wasn't comfortable to stand up straight any more she realized. How had things progressed this quickly? She looked at the building; it seemed so far away even though she knew it really wasn't. The entryway looked daunting in this moment. She tried to force herself to stand up straight again, only to quickly flinch back down. Quinn felt like the only way she was going to be able to walk was if she hunched her upper body over slightly, so that is just what she did.

She gently walked down the familiar hallway, having to stop twice to grip the wall for support as her body seemed to fight itself. Breathing heavily Quinn made it to the main elevator and pushed the 4th floor button. She was hit with another wave of pain as the elevator slowly moved up to the practice's floor. Quinn couldn't bite back the pain this time; she let out a small sob and clenched her stomach as she was doubled over in pain. As the elevator slowed to a stop, Quinn forced herself to stand up as straight as she could, leaning into the elevator walls to keep her upright. She was almost there. Before the doors opened she gave a silent prayer for her not to run into Mama Lopez. She just needed to turn the corner and Ruth's office was the first door on the left….but she had to make it there without running into Shelby. Her eyes watered but she forced the tears back down.

...

Santana and Brittany were fast runners. Santana hated running so she always ensured that she got it done as fast as she possibly could, which always left her time to take a breather while the rest of the pathetic cheerleaders struggled to catch up. The brunette looked over at the track where all of the girls still had not yet completed their second lap and shook her head as she sat down on the grass and began to stretch. Suddenly another set of feet came jogging up to her causing Santana to look up with a frown.

"Holy shit," Brittany panted as she rested her hands on her knees and gasped for breath.

Santana's frown turned into a smirk at the blonde as she then reached over and continued to stretch.

Brittany plopped down on the grass next to her friend. "I'm pretty sure you finished that in olympic speed." She said as she attempted to get her breathing under control. The blonde threw herself onto her back, laying on the grass. She turned her head to the side so she could look at the brunette. "Did you not hear me calling after you?"

Santana frowned again at her friend's question. Brittany had been calling after her? When? She slowly shook her head to answer Brittany's question. She had been too much in her head as she ran. She was too worried about Quinn. Quinn leaving early also erupted the anger she had in her left over from this morning with her failed attempt to talk some sense into her person yet again.

Brittany slowly nodded her head into the grass. She sat up into a straddle with a groan. "So what the heck is up with you and Q?" Brittany reached over and stretched. "Are you guys fighting?"

Santana sighed as she looked at her friend. "I don't know." She answered honestly. The answer fit both of the blonde's questions. She didn't know why Quinn had to rush off so quickly nor did she know if they were fighting. Technically they weren't fighting fighting...but Santana was mad and frustrated...so that kind of counted.

Brittany's jaw dropped. "You guys like...never fight. It's weird." She said bluntly. The tall blonde looked over at the track for a few seconds as she looked at the girls who were struggling to finish their laps. She frowned and then looked over at Santana again. "Where is she?"

"She went home." Santana said as she switched sides in her stretch.

"What?" Brittany asked shocked. She couldn't have heard that properly.

The brunette simply nodded her head and shrugged. "Yep."

Brittany paused as she waited for Santana to continue to talk, when she didn't Brittany frowned. "Uh...do we know why?"

Santana gave up stretching and looked her friend directly in her face. "I don't really know," she said honestly.

The blonde felt like her eyes were going to bulge out of her head. "Dang... you guys really are fighting..." She shook her head. "This is weird. I feel like I am in the twilight zone or something...and not the good Twilight with the hot werewolf." Santana couldn't help but roll her eyes as she listened to Brittany continue. "All this time that the three of us have been friends... you two have never been in a real fight."

Santana nodded her head. She didn't want to talk about this because what Brittany was saying was absolutely right. Her and Quinn never faught. Sure they bickered...like any sisters would. That was exactly what her relationship with Quinn was like... only better. They were each other's persons. That meant it went beyond the 'best friend' label. It meant that Santana would take a bullet for Quinn and she knew that Quinn would take one for her; although she would never let that happen. It meant that she knew that Quinn loved grapes but hated grape flavored things. It meant that Quinn knew that Santana only liked fresh bananas; once they had a single brown spot on them the brunette wouldn't touch the fruit. It meant that she knew that Quinn had to fall asleep with the Disney channel on every night and Quinn knew that Santana had a weird habit of flushing the toilet immediately after she was done showering every time. What the two of them shared was different than any other friendship that had ever existed; at least that is how Santana felt. To her, Quinn was family. Only, she was even better than family because they never have had any huge cat fight blow ups with each others like sisters would. What they had was unique...but like Brittany pointed out...right now? Things were off and Santana hated that.

Santana shook her head. She needed to change the subject. "Can uh..." The brunette cleared her throat so that her words wouldn't come out cracked. "Can you give me a ride after practice?"

Brittany stretched her arm across her chest as she tilted her head at her friend. "Is your car broken?" When the blonde saw the look that Santana immediately gave her in response she hit herself in her forehead. "Oh right...Quinn drove...and left... Got it. Sorry." She apologized as she pieced together the information a little too late. She nodded her head. "Yea though, you know I don't mind dropping you off."

Santana nodded her head. "Thanks."

"Sure thing," Brittany smiled.

...

Quinn practically stumbled into Ruth's office. As soon as she swung open the door she quickly closed it and leaned against it for support, she felt another wave of terrible cramps coming, the dull ache in her back and abs seemed to be throbbing right now. She had to close her eyes and focus on breathing as she felt the now familiar pain wrap from her back through her lower abdomen.

Ruth looked up suddenly from her paperwork when she heard her door open and slam quickly. When she saw Quinn leaning against the door with her eyes closed and breathing heavily she slowly set down the file she was holding and stood up at her desk. She watched the teen cautiously, caught in surprise by her sudden intrusion.

Ruth looked at the clock; it was still the middle of the day, "Quinn?"

Quinn forced her eyes open and noticed Ruth standing at her desk now. She was looking at her with raised eyebrows waiting for her to explain herself. Quinn shook her head against the door as she grabbed the door handle for extra support, she licked her lip gently, "Something is wrong…"

Ruth slowly moved around her desk, "Why aren't you at cheerleading?" She could feel the strange vibe seeping through the room but she couldn't quite figure out what was going on.

She watched Quinn shake her head again. Ruth slowly approached the blonde, and the closer she got the more she saw. Quinn's face and neck were covered in beads of sweat, her face was more pale than normal and her forehead was creased with worry…or was that pain? She stopped in front of the young girl and waited for her to speak.

Quinn's eyes suddenly filled with tears. She was really going to do this? She was going to tell Ruth about the secret she's been hiding from everyone, herself included, for the past….2 and a half months? She bit her lip, had it been that long? The pain in her back intensified bringing her back to this moment. She couldn't handle this, that is why she had decided to drive here in the first place. She shook her head, she couldn't look at Ruth's face; she felt too ashamed. "I…I'm having really bad cramps…." She took a deep breath and let out a hiss of pain. The feeling was only getting worse, she grabbed the door handle tighter in her palm, "I can't…I can't…." Tears fell down her cheeks.

Ruth scrunched her face in confusion. "Cramps like what? Did you hurt yourself at intensives? Or did you start your period?"

Quinn let out a sob in response. If only she had gotten her period. Cramps from her period were nothing compared to the cramps she was feeling right now. Calling them cramps didn't describe the pain correctly. She opened her mouth to say it...to tell Ruth that she was pregnant and she was really worried about the baby. Quinn instantly closed her mouth, unable to find the right words. She tried to hold the tears back. She wasn't successful: they were running down her face at a more rapid pace now. She hadn't cared about the pregnancy. She refused to think about it as much as she could. She actively attempted to forget that it even existed. She spent extra time on the field cheering. She practiced harder. She stayed later to run more drills alone to keep her mind occupied. All of these things, all of the extra stress, couldn't have been good for the...baby. She tried so hard to forget it existed...and now she was paying the price. Her heart ached. Why had she tried so hard to ignore it to start caring now? Now that something was wrong...it seemed to clear her mind, or turn it back on. She was scared for the life that was growing inside of her. She hadn't wanted it to exist... but now the thought of something happening to it tore at her heart.

"Quinn?" Ruth gently placed her hand on her shoulder, snapping Quinn out of her daze.

She looked at the older woman directly with watery eyes, "Something isn't right..."

...

**AN: So...cliffhanger. yes. Sorry! But I totally thought it would be fun to do it this way. :) Please review and let me know what you all think... opinions, thoughts, guesses of how things will play out... etc. I LOVE the feedback.**

**Also side note: UMMM So...Rachel is pregnant on glee now? I about DIED when I watched that ending scene. Somehow I completely missed that spoiler, so it caught me WAY off guard. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This chapter has mature themes. Read with caution**

**Chapter 11**

"_Quinn?" Ruth gently placed her hand on her shoulder, snapping Quinn out of her daze._

_She looked at the older woman with watery eyes, "Something isn't right..."_

Ruth nodded her head, taking in the completely broken appearance of the teen standing in front of her. Something was terribly wrong, she was trying to get Quinn to talk to her, but she seemed to not really be in the moment. She gave the girl's shoulder a gentle squeeze and watched as the blonde's brown eyes refocused on her again, "What is it?"

Quinn focused on Ruth's eyes. They were silently begging her to talk to her. She looked down at her barely swollen stomach. It was hidden under her uniform. She was embarrassed and ashamed and mortified that she had to say the words out loud... but she couldn't be responsible for hurting the innocent life she had created; the one she didn't realize she cared about until minutes prior. She needed Ruth to help. Something wasn't right.

"I need to tell you something..." Quinn said barely above a whisper.

"Okay..." Ruth responded hesitantly.

Quinn looked into the older woman's eyes and felt more tears pool in her own. "I...I..." Quinn bit her lip as she shook her head.

Ruth frowned as she took another step closer to Quinn. "Sweetie, what is it. You are worrying me. Should I go get Shelby?"

"No! Please don't!" The blonde suddenly shouted. She swallowed another sob as she lowered her gaze and her voice. "Please..." She could barely stand right now in front of Ruth she couldn't even imagine having Mama Lopez in the room now too. This was already impossible...and as the pain grew more and more it seemed to only be getting harder.

Ruth put up her hands signaling that she wasn't going to go anywhere at the moment in order to attempt to calm the young girl down. "Talk to me then hunny." When Quinn didn't respond again, Ruth placed her hand back on the young girl's shoulder again and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Are you hurt?"

Quinn let out an unexpected sob as she wrapped her arms around her middle trying to sooth the cramps somehow. She shook her head quickly. She couldn't believe she was here. She couldn't believe that this was how her life was turning out. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "This isn't the type of person I wanted to be...the type of mother-" As soon as the word left her mouth Quinn sucked in a gasp of air and gazed into Ruth's eyes, her own eyes opened wide in shock. She hadn't meant to just say that outloud like that. This certainly wasn't how she wanted to do this.

Ruth pulled her hand from Quinn's shoulder quickly in shock, as if the blonde had burned her. She took a step back from the teen, her eyes didn't leave Quinn's. "Did you just say...Did you... you said... 'mother'?" Her heart was beating fast. She couldn't have heard that right, maybe she was mistaken. She stared at Quinn as the girl's bottom lip began to quiver. Her eyes lowered to Quinn's stomach. The girl was gripping it strongly in her arms.

"I...I...I..." Quinn began stuttering, she didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to say it.

Ruth looked at the girl and took in her appearance again. She was leaning against the door, as if it was holding her up. She was covered in sweat, her eyes were glossed over as tears ran down her cheeks. Her shoulders were hunched over and her arms were wrapped around her stomach. No. Ruth shook her head. She had to be wrong, "Quinn are you-"

Quinn let out a loud sob cutting off the woman, "Please don't say it... I don't want to hear you say it...I can't say it..." She began to shake her head as she closed her eyes feeling more heavy tears flow down her cheeks. Her grip grew tighter around her stomach. She couldn't bare to hear Ruth ask the question. She couldn't imagine answering it, although she knew that she just did by begging her not to. "Something is wrong, please...please help me..." She cried out as she hunched over a little more trying to ease the cramps.

Ruth stared at Quinn in complete shock. This was certainly not on her list of things to expect at work today. Shelby's "adopted" daughter, whom she herself has loved and helped support since the kid was eight years old was now standing in front of her in her office...pregnant, clutching her stomach in pain and begging for help. Ruth flashed back to her memory of Quinn at eight years old: bright eyed with pigtails and a missing front tooth smiling up at her as she let out her smile inducing giggle. Ruth shook her head and saw the sixteen year old crying again. She felt a pang in her chest for the young blonde.

"Woowoo..." Quinn sobbed Ruth's nickname which brought Ruth's focus back to the situation at hand. The blonde's voice made her sound so much younger than she actually was.

Ruth stood up straight, trying to pull herself together for Quinn's sake. "Okay...okay..." she cleared her throat, "Explain to me what is going on. You said that you are having cramps?" She quickly tossed her loose hair up into a ponytail as she asked Quinn the question.

Quinn bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain again as she nodded her head. That is when she felt it. There was wetness between her thighs. When had that started? She shot her gaze up to focus on the woman standing in front of her, she started breathing quicker, "Oh god. I...I think I'm bleeding..." Quinn darted her eyes downward in the direction of her skirt but was too afraid to lift it and check herself. She didn't want to release her hands from her stomach. The blonde shifted her weight against the door and felt more warm wetness under her skirt. She immediately looked back up at Ruth nodding her head. "I am bleeding," she clarified as her heart started to beat at even a more rapid pace than it had been previously. What did this mean? Blood couldn't have been good right?

Ruth looked sadly at the young girl. She tried to wrap her mind around the fact that she was pregnant. Pregnant with severe cramps and now bleeding? Ruth chewed her lip. This only meant one thing. She stepped forward and felt Quinn's forehead. There wasn't a fever, that was good at least. The beads of sweat that covered the young girl's face wasn't because of a spike in temperature. She forced herself to smile at the young blonde and offered her hand for support, "Okay...Quinn let's lay down," she nodded her head in the direction of her leather couch.

Quinn hesitated before reaching one hand out and grasping Ruth's reassuring hand unsteadily. The pain in her back and stomach was close to unbearable and now there was bleeding? She didn't know much about pregnancy, obviously, but she knew enough that this couldn't have been good. She couldn't read Ruth's face. "What's...what is happening to me?" She asked nervously as Ruth helped steady her into a standing position away from the door. When Ruth didn't answer right away she met the older woman's gaze.

Ruth took a deep breath. This crying girl in front of her was about to become even more broken. She shook her head, no sixteen year old should have to deal with this. What is wrong with the world? Why did these bad things keep happening to the good people in her life? She took a deep breath as Quinn searched her eyes intensely. She squeezed Quinn's hand, for support and to ensure that she had a firm grip on the girl as she prepared to deliver the expected devastating news. "It seems to me that you are...having a miscarriage."

Quinn felt her legs buckle slightly at Ruth's words; however, Ruth's firm grip on her forearm steadied her long enough to lock her legs into place and keep her from falling to the ground. Her face fell, "What?" She heard the woman but she couldn't be right. This couldn't be what happened. She couldn't be responsible for this happening to her…baby. She shook her head violently and suddenly found her voice, "No! Stop it! Please!" She begged Ruth as she gripped her arm tightly around her stomach. "You have to stop it!" Tears clouded her vision and quickly replaced the ones that formed a constant line down her face.

Ruth gently grabbed Quinn by both of her upper arms, forcing the girl to face her completely and look her directly in the eyes. She had to make sure Quinn understood this. "Honey…nothing can be done to prevent a miscarriage once it has begun..." Quinn whimpered. Ruth looked down at the young girl and noticed a stream of blood that had started to make its way down the young girl's thighs. She sighed. She didn't want to be right, but the thick blood trail that was now forming had just proven her right. She looked back up at the blonde's face and nodded her head as she held her firmly by her arms. "You've already started," she said as calmly as she could muster before continuing. "All we can do now, is wait…"

Quinn squeezed Ruth's arms tighter. "What?" she asked hesitantly. "Wait for what...?" Quinn didn't like the somber look that Ruth had on her face, but at the same time she couldn't maintain eye contact with the woman...Not after she just told her what was happening. Not after she knew that Ruth now knew.

Ruth watched as the young girl searched her eyes anxiously while Ruth hesitated to answer. She paused for so long that Quinn eventually looked down towards the ground with the look of shame covering her face. The blonde tightened her grip on Ruth's arms which made the woman refocus and spring into action. She could tell by the look on Quinn's face that she was feeling another wave of pain.

Ruth gently released Quinn's hands from her arms only long enough to pull a few towels from one of the boxes that sat in the corner of her office. Once she had the towels in her hand she rummaged through another box and pulled out a hospital gown and a bed sheet before rushing back to the sixteen year old.

"Woowoo?" Quinn asked in a quiet strained voice. She needed the woman to tell her what she meant by her last statement. What were they waiting for? What was happening?

"Come here, sweet girl." Ruth guided Quinn over to her couch and laid the group of towels along the cushion for Quinn to sit on so there wouldn't be much of a mess. She helped the blonde sit down and felt her own eyes water as Quinn let out an audible groan and sob.

Quinn forced herself to breathe through the pain of another harsh cramp. When it seemed to full out again she looked over her shoulder at Ruth who was now seated next to her on the couch rubbing her back tenderly. Once she met the woman's eyes she saw the tears that were welled in them, threatening to spill. Quinn quickly turned her head to look back at the ground as more tears flowed from her own eyes. She couldn't look at the pain and sadness on Ruth's face. She had caused it all by intruding into her office and ruining her day in the middle of her work shift.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." Quinn sobbed.

"Sh..." Ruth could only manage to hush the young girl and begun to rub her back more strongly. She shook her head and used her free hand to wipe the tears from her eyes. This was not the time for crying. This little girl, this beautiful girl whom she loved so much, needed her. She came to her for help. Ruth needed to be strong.

"Please stop it, Woowoo. I don't want to have a...a m-m-miscarriage." When the last word left her lips Quinn began to sob even heavier.

The older woman pulled Quinn into her side in a strong hug before slowly opening her mouth to tell the blonde teen what was going to happen. She hated that she had to do this, but she was a doctor. It was something she's had to do before, but now that it was Quinn she was holding and not just any old patient..it made things that much harder.

Ruth sighed as she held Quinn close. "I'm sorry baby, but there isn't anything to do. I'm going to sit here with you and we are going to wait for it to end...together."

"Oh god!" Quinn sobbed loudly as she leaned further into Ruth's arms. "No! No!" She cried, not caring that her tears were completely soaking the older woman's shirt. "It can't end. I...I didn't mean to mess th-this up s-s-so bad! I...I screwed up. I...s-screwed up!"

Ruth squeezed Quinn tighter as she shook her head. "No, sweetie..." She ran her fingers through Quinn's ponytail. "Quinn you didn't screw anything up. You-"

The blonde cut off the woman that she looked up to as she pushed away from her side and wiped at her own face. She refused to look at Ruth as she blurted out the confession that was eating a whole in her heart. She needed Ruth to understand how awful of a person she really was. She did screw up. She screwed all of this up. "I've known for over t-t-two months...I-I've known and I...I haven't done anything."

Ruth couldn't help but suck in her breath in shock. She hadn't realized that Quinn had been hiding this for so long. Two months? The older brunette shook her head. Not that she had had much time to mull this over since Quinn dropped this bombshell the mere minutes ago, but she had just assumed that Quinn had found out that she was pregnant recently or even when the pains had started. She never in a million years would have guessed that Quinn could harbor a secret like this for...two whole months. Suddenly all Ruth could do was think over the past two months and wonder about every time she had interacted with the young blonde if she should have been able to tell that she was pregnant. All the weird behavior, and things that didn't add up... she had just shook it off and assumed it was Quinn attempting to still adjust to living in a new home and dealing with the heaviness of her family's abandonment. Never in a million years would she have thought that this was really happening. Not with Quinn...

Quinn's sobbing forced Ruth to pay attention to the crying blonde at her side. She looked at Quinn who was now hunched over sobbing into her hands. Ruth gave a sad sigh as she reached out and brought the young blonde into her side again and held her close. "Oh honey," she sighed as she planted a kiss on the top of Quinn's head. "You should have told us. Why didn't you come to me or Shelby?"

"I didn't know how to say it... I-I didn't want it to be true..." She shook her head as a small sob escaped her lips. "A-a-and now...now it's over? It's over just...just like that?" Quinn's breath got caught in her chest as tears ran furiously down her face. Another horrible wave of pain overtook her body causing her to double over. She let out a scream as she bit her lip and folded in half, resting her head on her knees as she clutched her stomach. "I-I-I killed my baby!" She heard herself say in between sobs. Hearing the phrase her mouth spoke caused the teen to start sobbing hysterically into her knees as she tightened her arms around her own stomach.

Ruth immediately felt her eyes water. She looked over her shoulder at her closed door hoping beyond hope that Shelby was actually in her office and not anywhere near the hallway that led to her office. She didn't need her best friend to come barging in at Quinn's screams and cries... it wasn't how she wanted Shelby to learn about this. Her stomach churned at the thought. There was no "good way" to receive this news. This was horrible news. Still, she would rather her be the one to tell Shelby than to have her come into this unexpectedly and suddenly. As she looked back at the blonde she realized that this wasn't how Quinn needed Shelby to learn about this either. She felt her eyes water at the sound of Quinn's heavy sobs. Ruth pulled herself together in order to hush soothing words into the blonde's ear as she let the teen cry next to her on her office couch. She knew there was nothing she could say to make the blonde feel any better: physically or emotionally, so the older woman began to massage Quinn's lower back in hopes to alleviate some of the cramps that she knew were tearing through the young girl's body.

Quinn's words echoed in her ears. Ruth shook her head as she finally found her words. "No honey, you didn't. These things happen..." The woman trailed off as she squeezed her eyes shut and continued to rub Quinn's lower back. Her heart was breaking with every sob that Quinn was releasing. "It wasn't meant to be..."

...

Ruth paused outside of Shelby's opened office door. She watched as her friend typed quickly into the computer, all of Shelby's focus was geared toward the computer screen giving Ruth an extra couple of seconds to attempt to gather her words. She couldn't help but feel her heart break even more at the thought of what she was about to do to her best friend. She couldn't believe that she was about to deliver this news. With a deep breath she stepped into Shelby's office.

Shelby looked up from her screen for a split second to smile at her friend before looking back at her monitor. "I'm almost done with this bill, then we can eat our sushi." Shelby said with a nod, assuming that her friend was in her office to let her know that it was time to take a break for food. "Have you gotten a chance to look at the Perez child's file? I think the little girl's name was Amber?" She continued to type as she asked the questions.

"Um... I was actually doing that but..." Ruth trailed off as she zoned out. She was suddenly back at her desk typing away when Quinn limped into the room and slammed her door closed. She remembered the awful look the teen held in her eyes that made Ruth look away from the Perez child's file and meet her at the door. She remembered Quinn panting and wincing in pain...and then she remembered the feeling she felt when she placed what was happening together in her head and realized that the sixteen year old she had grown to love and accept as family was in fact pregnant.

"Ruth?" Shelby's voice broke through to Ruth's thoughts before they could go any further and brought her back to the present.

"Quinn is in my office." Ruth heard herself blurt out. She instantly kicked herself for her lack of tact.

"What?" Shelby looked away from her screen at her best friend as she frowned. She pulled her hands away from the keyboard and then looked down at her watch. "She is supposed to be at cheerleading for 3 more hours. Why on earth is she skipping?" Shelby pushed her chair back from her desk and stood up as she shook her head. "I swear, I have no clue why these girls think they can do whatever they want sometimes. They get straight A's in school but do they use their brains during summer? No. They think just because they are on summer vacation that they don't need to be where they say they are going to be. They are wrong." The mother walked around her desk and began to head for the door. "Summer doesn't mean freedom from family rules." She looked at her best friend just before she walked by her. "See and you wonder why I am stressed out?"

Ruth reached out and grabbed her friend's wrist to prevent her from leaving the room. She had to tell Shelby, she had to let her know before she just let her best friend walk into the room and see for herself. "Shel..."

"What is it?" Shelby asked as she looked down at her wrist and her friend's hand that was holding onto it firmly.

"Quinn...she's..." Ruth trailed off. First she had to find the words in order to break the news.

Shelby's patience was wearing thin. She needed Ruth to speak. She needed to go scold Quinn for leaving Cheer Intensives early without permission. "She's what?"

"She's..." Ruth looked into her friend's eyes as she continued to hold onto Shelby's wrist tightly. "...in my office..."

Shelby sighed as she ripped her arm free from her friend's grasp. "I know Ruth. You said that." With that Shelby attempted to leave her office again only to once more be blocked by her best friend. Ruth was now standing in the path that led to her opened office door. Shelby huffed again. "If you'll move I'd like to go lecture her on skipping cheer camp and lying about it. I paid for the two of them to be at Intensives, so that is where they should be." The mother paused. "Is Santana here too?"

Ruth shook her head lightly "Just Quinn...she..." The woman began to chew on her lip as she looked over her shoulder then back at her friend. She couldn't figure out a good way to do this...if there was even a good way. She shook her head. Ruth turned on her heel and reached for her best friend's office door and began to shut it closed.

"Ruth-" Shelby began to protest the closing of her door but was instantly cut off by Ruth who turned around to face her directly once the door was completely closed.

"She came to my office...for help."

This made Shelby pause. She frowned as she took in her friend's facial expression. Something was going on. "What type of help?" She heard herself ask nervously as she took a step back from her best friend.

Ruth sighed heavily. Here is goes. "Quinn is pregnant." When she blurted out the phrase it brought tears to her eyes; however she quickly blinked them away so she could ensure that she stayed pulled together for her best friend.

Shelby froze as the words reached her ears. "Wh...what?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. She shook her head and then looked directly into her best friend's eyes. "WHAT?!" Shelby let out a nervous laugh as she maintained eye contact with Ruth. "Ruth...that isn't funny. Stop..." The mother trailed off and felt the smile quickly fade from her face when she noticed that Ruth had tears in her eyes and that there wasn't a trace of any humor in her best friend's face. "Stop." Shelby said again as she took another step away from her friend. She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. "No..." She shook her head as she kept her eyes glued to Ruth's. Her best friend's face said it all. "No, no no no..."

Ruth bit her lip to keep from crying. "I wish I was kidding Shelby." She slowly nodded her head.

"She's...? How...?" Shelby felt like she couldn't finish any of her questions. Her eyes drifted down to the carpet aimlessly. How was this possible? How was this happening? Why? Quinn, sweet innocent, Quinn was... The mother shook her head firmly as the information sank in. She started to feel a fire in her stomach. She quickly shot her gaze back up to her best friend's eyes. "How on earth did this happen?!" Her voice was stronger and louder now as the anger and surprise rushed through her. "Who is the father? I..." She shook her head as she trailed off. "I need to kill her." She finally stated with a firm nod of her head. "I'm going to go kill her." Shelby took a few steps towards the door again, this time with a different purpose.

Ruth knew that Shelby didn't mean what her words were saying. She could see the hurt, worry and confusion all over her best friend's face. But she didn't have time to analyze anymore of it because Shelby was quickly making her way around her and reaching for the office door. All Ruth could do was step in front of her best friend, making her body a barrier between Shelby and the closed office door. She couldn't let Shelby leave, not just yet. Not when only half of the truth is out.

Shelby threw her head back angrily at her friend's blockade. "Ruth, step aside. I...she is 16! We've talked about sex! Me and her... I...I had a conversation with her! She knows better! She...she swore she always used condoms in the past...and she told me that she would talk to me before sleeping with any more guys! I was going to put her on birth control when we had that talk! We never had another conversation about it! She never told me! I..."

Ruth nodded her head slightly. She knew her friend needed to get all of this off her chest but she also knew that she had to tell her the rest of the news. "Shel..."

Shelby shook her head, ignoring her friend's voice. "She's pregnant?!" Shelby shouted to the ceiling of her office. "Does she realize what this means?! I... I need to go see her." The mother refocused on her best friend standing in her way. "I can't believe this...I can't believe she had YOU tell me...she couldn't even come tell me herself. This is...this is a mess...one seriously big mess. I mean...when was she having sex? In my house? And with whom?"

"Shelby..." Ruth tried again.

Shelby snapped her focus back on Ruth. "I know! Okay!" She took an obnoxiously deep breath in order to shut up her best friend. She knew what Ruth was going to say, she had heard it a thousand times over the years, but this time was different. "I know I need to calm down I just..." Shelby instantly felt the initial anger quickly flee her body as a desperate hole in her stomach seemed to overtake everything else. Her eyes began to water. "Oh god..."

Ruth's eyes watered at the sight of her best friend inwardly battling every emotion. She knew that this was only going to get worse unfortunately. She reached out slowly to grab her best friend's hand comfortingly.

Shelby quickly shook her head and sucked the tears back into her eyes as she yanked her hand away from Ruth's. Now was not the time to cry. "I can't. She ruined her life. This...this...she can't be a mom at sixteen. She is a smart girl, she has such a bright future ahead of her...and now this...?" Shelby let out a long sigh as she looked back down at the carpet. "I don't know what to say. I don't know... I'm going to have to talk to her about her options... I mean...how do I do that with her-"

Ruth cut her best friend off. "Shelby," her voice was more strong now; however, Shelby either hadn't heard or chose to ignore it.

"I love that girl like she is my own flesh and blood Ruth. I'm...so angry at her, but so scared for her at the same time. Not to mention how upset I am...god, what do I say to her?" She looked back up from the floor as she focused on the door that was behind her best friend. She bit her lip anxiously.

"Shel..."

Shelby snapped her gaze to her best friend. "STOP saying my name!" Once she finished screaming she finally looked at Ruth for the first time since she heard her say 'Quinn' and 'pregnant' in the same sentence. This was the first time she really noticed Ruth's face and body language. Ruth looked upset...which was understandable given the news that was just brought to them about a girl they both loved and cared so much for...but she knew her best friend...and she could tell that there was something she wasn't saying. Shelby brought her hands to her stomach nervously. "What is it?"

Ruth couldn't break her eyes free from Shelby's gaze. "Quinn is in my office." She stated again slowly.

"Stop saying that! You said that... I...I need to go to her." Shelby pointed at the door behind Ruth. She didn't have time for this. "Move so I can go to her."

Ruth shook her head but Shelby was on a mission. Right after Shelby shoved her out of the way and was reaching for the door handle, Ruth blurted out what she had to say. "She's in my office having a miscarriage."

Shelby froze, her hand was an inch away from the door knob. She sharply turned around to face her friend who was wiping a lone tear from the side of her cheek. Shelby's breath hitched in her chest. The world seemed to stop in that second as she realized what Ruth had said. She felt like the room spun around at a rapid pace, it made her stumble a few steps before she crashed down onto the sofa in stunned silence. The words Ruth had just spoke felt as though they were digging a hole into her heart. They seemed to echo in the room. How had she just learned that her 16 yr old was pregnant and was having a miscarriage in the same 5 minutes? She felt like air couldn't properly fill her lungs. Was the world playing some cruel joke on Quinn? Why was this happening? All Shelby could do was stare forward as she gripped the couch cushion underneath her for support.

Ruth watched her friend sit in complete silence sadly. She paused for a minute unsure of what to say. She was unsure of what to do. She wanted to pull her friend into a hug, but she knew by Shelby's body language that if she had tried then the mother would completely unravel and come apart. She knew that that wasn't what Shelby wanted right now, and it certainly wasn't what Quinn needed right now.

Ruth finally sighed as she walked around the couch to stand in front of her catatonic best friend. She broke the silence. "I gave her some paracetamol for the pain...she is lying on my sofa on top of some towels. I got her to put on a hospital gown." Ruth licked the top of her lip tenderly and then continued slowly. "Her cheerleading uniform...the bottoms were... soaked in blood. She needs a change of clothes." Ruth paused and then cleared her throat as she tried to think of everything and anything else that she needed to fill Shelby in on. "I held her for a while and got her to calm down so now she is sleeping." Ruth looked at her best friend, the sight of how broken Shelby looked brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. She shook her head. "I'm sorry Shel... I...I had to tell you." The woman noticed that her friend hadn't even blinked since she had started talking. "Shelby?" she spoke her friend's name to see if she had even heard any of the things she had just said or if she was too frozen and stuck in her head at the moment.

Shelby looked up into her friend's eyes finally. "I'm sorry... I... what?" She shook her head as she grasped the couch cushions beneath her with an even firmer grip. "What?" She asked again to no one in particular. "She's having a...she's...a miscarriage?" The words were coming out just barely above a whisper, it was all Shelby could do to keep from crying. She shook her head at herself as she looked back at the carpet. "I didn't even know she was pregnant...did you know? Did you know that she was...?"

Ruth paused as Shelby looked into her eyes again. The tears that were waiting to fall instantly made ruth's stomach drop. She couldn't find words so she answered Shelby's question with a simple shake of her head. She had had no idea that Quinn was pregnant... if she had known than she would have done something about it, she would have made her sit down and together they would have told the rest of the family.

Shelby sighed heavily as she threw her head into her hands. "How...how do I miss all of these things?" She began to massage her temples. "I mean...how long was this going on...how long has she...known? I just..." Shelby trailed off. She was asking what she thought was a rhetorical question, she had no idea that her best friend who was standing right next to her knew the answer.

Ruth bit her lip as she answered Shelby's rhetorical question. She knew this information would be just another blow added to the other ones she had just delivered to her best friend. It made her feel incredibly guilty, but she had no choice but to let Shelby know. Shelby was Quinn's legal guardian, she loved Quinn...she had a right to know everything that she had found out. "She said she has known for nearly two and a half months."

Shelby looked up at her friend in shock as her eyes welled with more tears. "Two and a half...months?" Her voice was just above a whisper. She couldn't believe this. "She's been hiding this...this huge thing for more than two whole MONTHS?" She shook her head. "That means..." Shelby trailed off as she looked up at her best friend with her sad eyes. "That means she is nearing the end of her first trimester, or days away from it..."

Shelby lowered her gaze back to the floor as she lowered her voice too. She begun talking to herself. "If she has known for two and a half months...chances are she took a test after realizing her period was a month late... that's three and half months..." Shelby looked up at Ruth with wide eyes as she cleared her throat. "How have I not noticed that one of my 16 year olds was almost certainly at least three months pregnant? Have there been signs? Where the hell have I been?"

Ruth took a step towards her best friend. "Shelby...this isn't your fault..."

All the mother could do was shake her head. "She was sick once...the other week...I walked into the bathroom because she was throwing up in the middle of the day... I thought it was just..." She let out a sarcastic laugh at herself. "I thought she was stressed about school, about final exams..." She trailed off as she shook her head. "All the running...and her joining those clubs at school...and getting her job back...Her barely eating...her freak out at the doctor's office over the simple urine sample? It all adds up. How the hell did I not see this?"

"It's easy to miss something when you aren't looking for it."

Shelby shook her head again. "That's no excuse. I'm a doctor for crying out loud...I thought..." Shelby let out a short burst of an inappropriate nervous chuckle at herself. "I thought she might have had an eating disorder for a brief period...Remember? But then things seemed to be...normal. Clearly I was beyond wrong. God I screwed up so bad on this."

"Shelby no-"

Shelby cut off her best friend. "Yes. I should have seen the signs. Hindsight is 20/20. The throwing up...the exhaustion...the mood swings...her extremely busy schedule..."

Ruth took a step closer to her friend as she looked down at her. "You can't beat yourself up about this."

"Can't I?" Shelby challenged. "She is living under my roof and I didn't even know she was having sex again. I am a doctor and I didn't even notice that she's pregnant..." Shelby immediately stopped herself as she choked on her own words. "Was pregnant," she corrected herself with a sigh. "Damnit. I took her away from her parents house to protect her and keep her safe and happy...and...I've failed."

Ruth felt a new surge of power light within her. "No. Shelby you have most certainly not." She walked over to the couch and plopped down next to her best friend. She grabbed Shelby's hand and brought it to her lap as she held it firmly and began to speak directly to the mother with a strong voice. "Quinn did not deserve to remain at Russell's house and you know it."

"I know but-"

Ruth shook her head. "No 'buts'." She sighed heavily as silence encompassed the room. "These...these things happen...She was hiding it well..." The last part came out more of a murmur as her fire quickly faded. She hung her head slightly as her own guilt started to consume her. She had missed it all too. She is a doctor, just like Shelby...and yet somehow...the both of them had missed all the signs. It wasn't a good feeling, especially now knowing what the future held for Quinn. Miscarriages were hard for anyone, but a scared, confused, insecure sixteen year old? This wasn't going to be easy.

"I still should have put the pieces together..." Shelby's quiet voice broke through to Ruth's own trance.

"Shelby..." Ruth started as she realized that now wasn't the time for her to break down. She had to be strong for Shelby and for Quinn. "This is Quinn we are talking about...I would have never thought that she would..." Ruth trailed off with a shake of her head, unable to bring herself to say the words aloud again. "She is a straight A student. She is a hard worker and polite and considerate. She's the sweet little blonde that laughs at my jokes even when they are dumb. She always has been. It's Quinn. I didn't see it either...I never would have expected it to happen...but...we both know very well that...things...happen..."

Both women grew quiet at Ruth's words as all of the memories of Santana's rape came rushing to their minds. The hardest part of life was accepting that bad things happen to people who least deserve them. They both had unfortunately learned that the hard way with Santana's horrific experience. Being a mother of a rape victim, or a best friend of a rape victim's mother was not an easy role to play. Although it had gotten easier as the months went on, there were still plenty of challenges that both women had had to work through every day with what happened. It is just simply a part of life...a really shitty part...but nonetheless... still something that can't be changed. Unexplainable things happen, unquestionably.

Ruth collected herself as she looked back at her best friend and gave Shelby's hand a squeeze as she turned the conversation back around to Quinn. "What is most important now, is that we are there for her. She was...extremely upset when I told her what was happening."

Shelby looked over at her friend sharply. "She didn't know what was happening?" She had just assumed, in the few minutes that she had had to process all of this, that Quinn had come to Ruth knowingly. How did this news seem to get worse and worse as each minute passed.

Ruth shifted her eyes. "No... she... she came to my office for help. I...I had to explain that it was too late. She took the news really hard, Shel."

"I can't believe this. I just..." Shelby shook her head. "It's Quinn...you know?"

Ruth couldn't look Shelby in the eyes anymore. She sighed heavily as she looked down at the carpet. "I know..." she whispered softly.

Shelby shook her head once again as she felt her eyes fill with tears quickly. Quinn was in the office across the hall from her, having a miscarriage. The young blonde had already had an incredibly hard life with taking the abuse from her father year after year... and now at sixteen years old she apparently felt like she had to hide the fact that she was pregnant. She hid it for two and a half months...and now she was having a miscarriage. Shelby shot her hand over her mouth to muffle the sob that was released as she thought about everything she had just learned. Never in a million years would she have suspected that this was how her day was going to turn out when she got to work this morning.

"Damn it. Damn it. Damn it." Shelby said slowly as the tears worked their way down her face. She felt her best friend squeeze her hand again as she sat next to her but that only made more tears fall. Shelby couldn't fight it anymore, she finally gave into her emotions and rested her head on Ruth's shoulder as heavy sobs over took her.

...

**A/N: Sorry for such a slow update and for any typos or misspellings. This chapter was exhausting, but was the plan from the beginning. I would really appreciate your thoughts or feedback on this chapter...reviews are so appreciated and loved. The amount of reviews and PM's I received last chapter was completely amazing. Thank you thank you thank you. **


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Sorry for such the long wait! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews from last chapter!**

**Chapter 12**

Shelby stood quietly in front of the couch that Quinn was laying on. The mother had been standing here for nearly ten minutes, simply watching the young blonde sleep restlessly. Every few minutes Quinn would turn her head side to side, clearly still uncomfortable even with the medicine and in a deep slumber. It made Shelby's heart ache as she watched her. The older brunette sighed heavily as she clutched the extra clean towels, package of pads and the change of scrubs she had tighter into her chest as she looked at Quinn. Tears stung her eyes, but she quickly forced them back as she reminded herself that now wasn't the time for tears. She had her time to cry back in her office, but now as she stood in front of Quinn she needed to keep herself together. She needed to be strong for the young girl while she was going through something extremely delicate and complicated for an adult woman, let alone an almost 17 year old girl.

Shelby looked down at the sheet that was draped across Quinn's lower half. She needed to change out the towels that were underneath the blonde and get her changed into the extra pair of scrubs she had managed to find in the supply room. She needed to get things moving, but she couldn't bring herself to wake the sleeping girl. Waking her up meant that they would have to talk, which would make this even more real than it already was. Talking to Quinn...hearing what she had to say about all of this was going to be extremely difficult for the both of them. So Shelby couldn't help but want to do nothing more but watch Quinn sleep, at least for a few more minutes.

As if on cue, Quinn opened her eyes slowly. She groggily looked around the room. Everything felt so cloudy. Where was she? Suddenly it hit her. The dull ache in her lower stomach and back hit her senses without warning, instantly reminding her of where she was and why. She couldn't stop the tears that filled her eyes. The blonde turned her head slowly to the side and immediately saw Mama Lopez standing there with supplies in her folded arms. As soon as her eyes met the woman's she couldn't contain the sob that ripped from her mouth, the tears rushed down her cheeks.

"No. No no no no…" Quinn sobbed out as she shook her head. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" she cried as her eyes immediately shifted from Mama Lopez to focus on the ground, anything besides the woman she respected and loved so much; the woman she never wanted to disappoint.

The look on the woman's face told Quinn that she knew. Ruth must have filled her in as she slept. Quinn didn't even remember falling asleep in the first place. She just remembered Ruth getting her to change from her cheerleading uniform into a hospital gown and giving her some medicine that was supposed to help with the pain, and she remembered crying...crying a lot. Quinn squeezed her eyes shut. Of course Ruth would tell her. She felt so dumb for not expecting this. She sobbed again as she wrapped her arms around her stomach, reminding herself yet again of all that she was losing in this room.

"Quinn." Shelby said gently as she took a step closer to the blonde.

Quinn responded by looking away and turning onto her side with a wince, putting her back towards the woman as she tucked her head into her arms and the back of the couch. "I'm s-s-sorry." She repeated again between sobs.

"I..." Shelby trailed off. She wasn't sure what she should say to the blonde. She shook her head as she listened to Quinn sobbing into the couch cushion. Shelby sighed as she set the supplies in her hand onto the arm of the couch and squatted down so she could run her fingers through Quinn's hair. Quinn attempted to shrug off her touch but Shelby wouldn't allow it. "I'm the one who is sorry, Quinnie. I'm sorry."

"No." Quinn managed to choke out.

"Yes, Quinn. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you during this, sweetheart. I am so sorry that you had to deal with this on your own, that you didn't feel comfortable enough to come to me. I'm sorry that I can't do anything to take away the pain you are feeling right now." Shelby sighed again as she brushed Quinn's hair off her her neck gently. "Sweet angel," the woman shook her head at herself. She felt like her heart was being ripped from her piece by piece.

"I...I don't want you to be sorry. I-I messed up. Oh god, I messed up!" Quinn sobbed into the couch cushion.

"Quinn..." Shelby trailed off. She didn't know what to say right now. She was in her own state of shock. The mother forced herself to focus as she ran her fingers trough the back of Quinn's hair again. "Quinn, take a few deep breaths..." Shelby attempted to get the sixteen year old to slow her hectic breathing. "Why don't you turn around? Let's talk, sweetie. We...we have things we need to talk about..."

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to take a deep breath. "I can't...I'm sorry I just...I c-c-can't. I'm sorry..."

"Okay...we don't need to talk right now." Shelby sighed as she looked at the blonde curled up on the couch.

Quinn simply nodded her head as she chewed on her lip, her hands so desperately wanted to cradle her stomach again but she couldn't bring herself to complete the action.

Shelby sighed as her eyes wandered to the pile of fresh towels and the pair if extra scrubs that she had previously set on the armrest of the couch. She took a deep breath of her own before finally beginning to move. She had to get Quinn into fresh clothes, and get her out of the pathetic hospital gown she was currently in. She needed to change the towels that were lined underneath the silent blonde. "Come on sweetie, let me get you into fresh clothes." Shelby finally said gently as she reached for Quinn's hands.

Quinn opened her eyes as she chewed her lip but finally gave a small nod. She slowly turned around on the couch and stood up from it shakily with the help from Mama Lopez. She grasped onto the woman's hands firmly but refused to meet her eyes. It was too painful to look into the mother's eyes. Quinn changed her focus behind her as she finished standing up; she looked down at where she had been laying and her breath instantly got caught in her chest.

"Oh god," she exclaimed as her hand shot over her mouth. "There is a lot of blood." Her legs felt weak at the sight of the dampened bloodied towels but she couldn't seem to rip her eyes away from them.

Shelby continued to hold onto Quinn's forearm as the blonde tore the other arm away from her, in order to ensure that the young girl wouldn't fall over. Shelby's eyes didn't leave Quinn's face, even though Quinn never allowed hers to meet her gaze. Shelby nodded her head and spoke as calmly as she could manage. "Yes sweetie. I know this seems scary but this is…" Shelby trailed off and cleared her throat. She knew this was not going to be easy to say. With one last deep breath she managed to force herself to finish her sentence. "This is normal with miscarriages."

With that, hearing Mama Lopez say the word, Quinn let out a loud sob as her knees collapsed. The mother immediately reached for the young girl and successfully caught her before she hit the floor. Quinn couldn't think about making her legs work in this moment. She couldn't think of anything but how much of a complete failure she was. All she could think about was how she was the reason why both Mama Lopez and Ruth were sad and in pain. She was the reason that Santana was so stressed out and uptight and anxious the past week. She was the reason why she got pregnant in the first place. She was the reason why the towels which laid on the couch were blood soaked. She caused all of this. Both her actions and her inactions caused everything. It was all her fault. She lost the baby. It was a baby, it was _her_ baby, and now it was gone.

Shelby used all of her strength to pull the hysterical Quinn back to her feet before she pulled her into a tight embrace. Quinn grasped onto her shirt and held onto it as if it were a lifeline. Shelby rested her cheek on top of Quinn's head, and let her continue to sob into the crook of her neck. Shelby began to rock Quinn back and forth ever so slightly. "I know…I know…" she whispered softly into Quinn's ear as she continued to hold up the crying blonde. She couldn't help the tears that finally fell down her cheeks. Her heart felt like it was crumbling in her chest more and more with every sob that the blonde teen released.

...

Rachel swung open the car door with a frown. She tossed her folder into the back seat before she crawled across and pulled the seatbelt across herself. She looked up towards the drivers seat and folded her arms over her chest.

"Where is Quinnie? It's her day to pick me up." Rachel asked her godmother innocently.

Ruth turned around in her seat and looked at the eight year old with a smile. "Hello to you too, munchkin."

Rachel rolled her eyes as she tried to hide her smile. "Hi, Woowoo. I love you." Rachel sat up taller in her seat. "Where is Quinn?"

Ruth turned around in her seat again and began to drive out of the buidling's parking lot. "She is busy right now boo." Ruth answered vaguely.

"Busy doing what?"

Ruth forced herself to take a breath. Of course Rachel wouldn't just drop the issue, she had always been a very inquisitive girl. Vague answers never worked, Ruth knew this, so she had no idea why she had even tried. The woman gripped the steering wheel with both hands. She had to try a different approach. "How was voice lessons?"

Rachel nodded her head. "Good I sang beautifully. Why couldn't Quinn get me?"

Ruth sighed. Any other eight year old would have fallen for the distraction... She looked at the eight year old through her rear view mirror once they came to a complete stop at the stop light. "She is with Mama at the practice."

Rachel immediately frowned as her arms fell loosely at her sides. "What? Why?"

"I don't know, sugar," the woman lied.

Rachel continued to look at her godmother while the woman drove. Her frown deepened. "It doesn't make sense...Quinn wouldn't pick going to the practice over picking me up from voice lessons. We always have fun after she picks me up from voice...we sing together on the ride home...she hates going to the practice."

Rachel waited not so patiently for her godmother to respond. She tried to meet the woman's gaze via the rearview mirror, but Ruth's eyes were trained on the road ahead of them. "Woowoo?" her voice came out nervously. Ruth's silence was making her more than nervous. Something was going on, she could just sense it.

Ruth shook her head. "Sweetie, Mama will talk to you more about it later."

"So something is wrong?"

"No." Ruth answered almost too quickly. She took a breath before continuing. "Rach everything will be okay."

Rachel felt her muscles tighten, she felt like she was on the edge of a cliff and was looking down at the drop...her stomach was doing flips. Her godmother wasn't telling her something for a reason. There had to be a reason...and if there was a reason that she wasn't telling her something it only meant that the something she wasn't telling her was bad. "Woowoo...what's wrong with Quinnie?"

"Rachel-"

Before her godmother could continue Rachel spoke quickly. "Does this have to do with why she was crying in the bathroom the other day?"

Ruth frowned as she glanced at the eight year old through the mirror again. "What? When was this?"

"At the mall."

"Quinn was crying at the mall?" Ruth had no idea what the heck Rachel was talking about.

Rachel nodded her head. "In the bathroom for a long time. But then she pretended that she wasn't crying...but I could hear it Woowoo... I know she was. Her face was red and puffy."

"I..." Ruth trailed off and then quickly shook her head. "This was the other day when you, sissy and Quinn went shopping?"

"Yup. Right after they found me and I met Mike." Rachel answered matter of factly.

Ruth was thankful that she was at another stop light. She turned in her seat briefly to look at her goddaughter. "Found you? Mike? Who is Mike?" She turned back towards the road but continued to keep an eye on Rachel through the mirror. Was Mike the father of the baby? Did he do something to make Quinn upset? Was he the reason Quinn was crying in a mall bathroom? Why didn't she know about any of this?

Rachel huffed before her face suddenly fell. She saw the confused look on her godmother's face and instantly began chewing on her lip. The eight year old paused as she realized that the woman had been refocusing the conversation yet again. It was another attempt at a distraction to get Rachel's attention away from the fact that Quinn was at the practice for no reason, and her mama was going to have to talk to her later about something. Something happened. The eight year old froze as her eyes grew wide.

"Did Quinn...did she get hurt...by a bad man? Like sissy...?" She heard herself ask slowly, her eyes never leaving the mirror that her godmother would look into every so often.

"No baby, no." Ruth said quickly as she looked up to meet Rachel's eyes. "Honey, I promise you that Quinn is okay." When she saw that Rachel wasn't fully convinced Ruth reiterated. "She wasn't hurt by a bad man."

Ruth returned her eyes to the road as a silence settled over the car. She couldn't help but think about Rachel's question. She gripped the steering wheel firmly in her hands as she felt an extreme anger take over her for the bastard, Guillermo Chavez. He ruined so many things in her loved ones lives, and it wasn't just Santana who was affected. She hated that Rachel's brain automatically jumps to the conclusion of rape when something happens now. Sure she understood the eight year old's fears and confusion, but that didn't mean that she doesn't hate that it existed too. She wished the young child didn't need to know what rape was. She wished both of her goddaughters and Quinn didn't need to know what it was. Especially not first hand like they do.

Ruth's mind suddenly shifted once she realized that she had no idea who the father of Quinn's fetus was. She suddenly felt nauseous at the thought. Surely her or Shelby would have been able to realize if something like that had happened...right? Quinn wasn't... Ruth shook her head quickly. She had to physically shake the thought from her head. No. That didn't happen to Quinn. Quinn wasn't raped. Ruth sighed and opened her mouth to spew more comforting words to the eight year old but was quickly cut off.

"This isn't the way to my house." Rachel said looking out of the window with a frown.

Ruth pulled herself together to answer the young girl. "I'm dropping you off at your friend Chelsey's house. She wanted to play with you, and I have to go back to work...so Mama will pick you up later."

"Oh...I don't really feel like playing..."

Ruth looked up into the mirror again quickly and met Rachel's too mature eyes. "I know...but you will have fun." She forced a fake smile to her mouth. "You love playing with Chelsey. Just be careful on that trampoline. No more jumping from trees okay?"

Rachel simply nodded her head quietly in the backseat, before she dropped her gaze down to her lap with a small sigh.

Ruth chewed on her lip as she saw Rachel's sadness in her body language. "Rach, Mama will be there to pick you up before you know it. We just have a few more things to take care of at the practice. You are on summer break but we aren't." The woman said the last part with a smile on her face, attempting to force a smile to Rachel's young face.

Rachel looked up at her godmother, she didn't smile but she took a deep breath and tried to focus on the possibility of having fun with her friend, and the trampoline. She loved that trampoline. She slowly nodded her head. "Okay... but...you promise that Quinn isn't hurt?"

Ruth looked directly at the road as she continued to grip the steering wheel with vigor. She chewed her lip as she chose her words carefully. "I promise she is going to be just fine." Eventually... Ruth added in her head.

Rachel saw the off look in her godmother's eyes and looked out of the window with sadness. "I wish I was older...so I could know what was happening all the time."

Ruth looked at her goddaughter briefly. "I don't wish such a thing." She said bluntly. "I want you to stay eight years old forever."

...

Shelby sat on the ground in front of the couch watching the teen sleep restlessly again. After Quinn's hysterics had somewhat subsided she had somehow coaxed the young girl to change into the extra scrubs and lay back down on the freshly changed couch. Within minutes, Quinn was back asleep, the exhaustion from the day taking its toll on her young body. Shelby rested her chin on the cushion of the couch as she stared up at Quinn's sleeping face. She shouldn't have missed something this huge. Shelby couldn't help but feel responsible for what this beautiful young girl was going through right now. She should have known.

"Hey Shel," Ruth's voice came quietly into the room as she opened her office door slowly.

Shelby looked away from Quinn up at her best friend with a small weak smile. "How was Rachel?" she asked tiredly.

Ruth bent down and kissed the top of her friend's head before walking towards her desk and leaning up against it for support. She crossed her arms as she looked at the sleeping blonde before she looked back down at her best friend who was sitting on the floor. "She..." Ruth sighed and continued to speak quietly so she could ensure that Quinn continued to sleep. "She figured out that something wasn't right when Quinn didn't come to pick her up from lesson."

Shelby sighed heavily as she felt her shoulders sag. She looked back at Quinn's sleeping form sadly as she responded to her friend. "Of course she did."

"She's too smart for her own good. She must have got it from her Woowoo." Ruth said jokingly with a small smile.

Shelby reached out and tucked a stray hair behind Quinn's ear as she nodded her head gently. "Must've," she agreed. Shelby slowly turned around so she could look at her best friend. Her eyes felt heavy from all the crying she had been doing and all the sadness she was experiencing. "What do I do?" Shelby asked her best friend innocently.

Ruth looked into her friend's eyes and tried her best to give Shelby a reassuring smile. Ruth slowly shrugged her shoulders as she gave a small sigh. "Don't worry about Rachel. She'll be fine for now. I dropped her off at her friend, Chelsey's house. She was fine when I dropped her off. Santana...she should be home soon actually, so I was going to head over there and check in with her for you but I wanted to come make sure you were doing okay." Ruth looked at Quinn's sleeping form again. "That both of you were doing okay..." Ruth added.

Shelby looked down at the rug that she was sitting on. "I just...don't know what to do. I feel so helpless right now..."

Ruth nodded her head at her friend. "Shelby you are doing what needs to be done right now...and that is being with Quinn. She needs you. She doesn't necessarily need you to know the answers or know what to say...she just needs _you_."

Shelby sat in silence for a few seconds before she eventually sighed and looked back up at her best friend. "You're right...I know...this is just so hard."

Ruth saw that her best friend was starting to tear up again so she pushed herself off the desk and walked up to Shelby, squatting down so she was eye level with the woman. "You can do this." She nodded her head reassuringly.

"Okay," Shelby said with a sigh as she rapidly blinked her eyes to keep from crying yet again. Her friend was right, Quinn needed her.

Ruth stood up again. "I'm going to do a quick consult for Megan, it should only take five minutes or so...then after I'll head to your house to meet Santana."

Shelby looked up at Ruth with a nod of her head. "Thanks Ruth..." she trailed off as she bit her lip. "Don't...don't tell her about Quinn..." Shelby glanced over at sleeping Quinn before continuing. "I want to ask Quinn what she wants first."

"Of course." Ruth said with a nod. "I love you, I'll call you in a little." With that Ruth walked out of her office, pulling the door closed behind her, leaving Quinn and Shelby alone again.

Shelby sighed as she refocused her attention completely back to Quinn. She felt a surge in her stomach at the thought of everything the blonde had been through already in her young life. Now this? The surge grew but Shelby made sure to take a few deep breaths in order to keep from throwing up. She needed to be pulled together. She needed to be here for Quinn, now more so than ever. The mother felt her eyes water. She couldn't help but wish that she had known about this pregnancy. She wished she could have been there for Quinn and wished that she didn't have to deal with the first few months on her own.

Suddenly a small murmur was released from Quinn's lips, causing Shelby to quickly wipe her eyes dry. She watched as Quinn began to stir awake again. The mother managed to pull a soft smile onto her face as she saw the blonde's eyes flutter open.

Quinn looked up at the ceiling as she attempted to gather her surroundings. As soon as she realized that she was still in Ruth's office she couldn't help but pull her arms around her stomach tenderly. The sixteen year old turned her head softly to the side but quickly regretted it as soon as she saw Mama Lopez's loving face sitting on the floor next to her side.

"How do you feel?" Shelby asked carefully, silently kicking herself as soon as she saw the pained expression on Quinn's face. The blonde's lower lip started quivering as she looked back up at the ceiling. Shelby sighed and then rephrased the question. "I meant… are the cramps getting any better? Ruth said she gave you some medicine for it."

Quinn felt more tears well in her eyes as she thought about Mama Lopez's question. She opened her mouth to answer but couldn't find any words to come out so she quickly closed her jaw shut tight. The young blonde shrugged her shoulders ever so slightly and nodded her head in response. She made sure that her eyes avoided the mother's that sat next to the couch she was laying on.

Shelby sighed. Watching how much emotional turmoil the sixteen year old was experiencing in this moment was killing her. She noticed the blonde's refusal to meet her eyes. "Quinn, sweetie, you can look at me."

Quinn shook her head quickly as her chin quivered, threatening to release the sob she was choking back. Her eyes were glued to the ceiling. She couldn't look at Mama Lopez. She just...couldn't. She was too sad, ashamed, embarrassed, pained, guilty and confused.

Shelby's heart continued to break. "Quinn..." she tried again, this time she grabbed Quinn's hand in both of hers as she planted a soft kiss on the back of the young blonde's hand.

In response, Quinn pulled her other hand up from her stomach and covered her eyes with her hand as she let out the loud sob she had so desperately been trying to hold in. "I'm s-sorry. I'm so sorry!"

The sob echoed through the room. Shelby squeezed Quinn's hand tighter as she scooted herself closer to the edge of the couch. "Oh, Quinn..." Shelby said gently. She brought the young girl's hand up to her lips and rested her chin on it as she spoke. "Sweetie..." the woman trailed off again, waiting for the teenager to acknowledge her, but was again disappointed by Quinn's refusal to meet her eyes. "Look at me hunny."

Quinn slowly shook her head as she felt tears make their way down her already puffy face. "I can't..."

Shelby let out a sigh. "Oh sweetie..." She shook her head at herself as she forced the tears that stung at her eyes to disappear. She couldn't cry right now. It wasn't the time or place. She looked at the blonde who continued to shield her eyes away from her with her hand and it broke her heart. "Please, Quinn... I want you to see that I don't look at you any differently. I need you to know that I am here and that I love you...with all of my heart. You can look at me, Quinn."

All Quinn could muster was another shake of her head as she let out another sob. She held her hand firmly against her closed eyes as she continued to cry. She couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to look at the woman who gave her everything. She couldn't see the sadness that was sure to be in her eyes. She couldn't see the pained expression on the mother's face. She had caused all of this. Mama Lopez was already so stressed, and had been through so many things... She worked so hard all the time... and had to live through her eldest daughter being raped already. This was not something that Quinn wanted the woman who took her in and made her life better to be burdened with as well. Getting pregnant and then consequently losing it... that was no way of thanking Mama Lopez for everything she had ever given and done for her throughout the years.

Shelby chewed her lip once she realized that Quinn wasn't going to remove her hand from her face in order to make eye contact. The mother reached her hand out to run her fingers through Quinn's hair but then paused before she made contact and retracted her hand nervously, placing it back in her own lap. The woman sighed. "Physically, you should start to feel better soon..."

Quinn let out another sob at the mother's words. "I don't want to feel better. I deserve to be in pain." Her chin quivered as she spoke. "I… I didn't take care of myself. I… I did this to myself. To my….." Quinn trailed off, unable to bring herself to finish her sentence. "I caused this."

"No…sweetie." Shelby's heart broke at the realization that Quinn wanted to feel the pain she was in. The young girl's words brought fresh tears back to Shelby's eyes. She shook her head quickly and reached out, resting her hand on Quinn's shoulder as the girl continued to lay on the couch. She needed the blonde to know that she did not cause anything. This was not her fault. "It more than likely was a bad pregnancy from the start Quinn…we'll never know."

Quinn suddenly removed her hand from her eyes and slowly pulled herself into a seated position. She grasped her hands together as she leaned over her knees. She finally brought her puffy eyes up to meet Mama Lopez's. "If I told you…if I told you then you or Ruth could have caught it in time..."

Shelby was thankful that the young blonde had finally looked at her, but she couldn't be grateful for too long because she needed to get through to Quinn. She couldn't have the sixteen year old blaming herself for something that was out of her control. Shelby reached out and cupped both of Quinn's hands in her own firmly. "Not necessarily…" she spoke softly. "Quinn, these things are so hard to predict. Most of the time, you don't know until it starts happening."

Quinn bit her lip as she continued to look at Mama Lopez. She forced herself to take a shaky breath as she was about to confess a horrible secret to the ever-loving woman. "But I...I wished for this. I..." She trailed off as she shook her head. "I wished for it and it came true."

"You wished for it?" Shelby asked with a furrow in her brow as she suddenly stood up from the ground, quickly grabbing a chair and placing it in front of the couch. She sat directly in front of Quinn and then grabbed her hands again like they had been previously, giving them a loving squeeze.

Quinn slowly nodded her head, she couldn't maintain the eyecontact any longer so she looked down at her and Mama Lopez's hands. "I didn't want it to be happening...any of it...I didn't want to be..." She shook her head. "I'm...I'm so horrible."

Shelby didn't know it was possible but her heart felt like it tore even more at Quinn's words. She bent over in her chair in order to catch the young girl's eyes. "Of course you didn't, sweetheart. But that doesn't make you horrible or evil. That makes you a sixteen year old." She nodded her head.

Quinn's eyes welled with tears again. "I was just...I was so scared and...and ashamed...I...I didn't mean for this to happen..." She trailed off with a sigh and slowly shrugged her shoulders.

"No...I know, baby. Of course you didn't mean for this to happen." Shelby said quickly.

Quinn let out a shaky breath. "I feel..." she trailed off as she tried to think of the proper word to describe what she was feeling in this moment, but she finally closed her mouth once she realized that there wasn't a word to describe what she was feeling. No single word could ever describe this moment.

Shelby nodded her head in understanding. She gave the girl's hands a tight squeeze to silently tell her that she didn't need to finish the sentence. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, the mother finally broke the silence. "Who..." Shelby cleared her voice as she looked into the young blonde's eyes directly. "Who was the father?"

Quinn instantly darted her eyes down towards her hands where she studied Mama Lopez's hands lovingly clasping her own. She couldn't look into the woman's eyes, especially not while she asked these types of questions. "Finn Hudson," she heard herself say just above a whisper.

Shelby frowned. "Finn? Do I know him?"

Quinn shook her head as she bit her lip. She continued to keep her eyes glued on their hands. "He's a senior…" she trailed off.

Shelby searched her memory bank. Finn. Finn. Finn? Nothing was coming to mind. She looked at Quinn who she noted was still desperately trying to avoid her gaze. "Have I met him before? Has he ever come to the house?"

Quinn looked up at Mama Lopez's face ever so briefly. "He..." She trailed off again. How was she supposed to answer this question? "No, you haven't met him."

Shelby started to slowly nod her head but then paused as she thought about Quinn's carefully worded answer. She instantly frowned as she looked at the blonde. "But he's come to the house?"

Quinn bit her lip as she slowly nodded. She so desperately wanted to look away from the woman's eyes but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"When?"

Quinn felt like her eyes nearly bulged from her head. She wasn't prepared for this. "What?" She asked in order to buy her some time.

"When did he come to the house?" Shelby asked bluntly.

Quinn searched the mother's eyes as she attempted to find an answer in her head. Nothing. She couldn't think of any excuse...any lie. She was over all the lies. She took a deep breath as she peeled her eyes away from Mama Lopez's and looked down at their clasped hands...suddenly hating that Mama Lopez was holding her as she was being forced to say what she was about to say. "At nights… he….he would text me, sometimes I would text him and….he would come over…"

"I was home?"

"Well…you would be sleeping…" Quinn murmured.

Shelby shook her head and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe this. "And he just waltz through the front door then?"

Quinn paused as she continued to chew on her lip nervously. Her long pause caused Mama Lopez to open her eyes again and look directly into her own. She hated it. Quinn sighed. "Not exactly..." she halfway answered. When Quinn realized that Mama Lopez was raising her brow at her...signaling for her to explain herself she tore her eyes away as she made the confession. "He fits through my window..."

Shelby felt her jaw drop at Quinn's words. She let out a loud sigh as she brought her hands to the sides of her head and began to massage her temples. "Oh Quinn..." She shook her head as she looked down at her own lap, feeling her fingers knead into her temples, attempting to alleviate at least a little of the extreme emotions she was feeling right now. She wanted to yell. She wanted to yell so badly, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not with what Quinn was going through now. Now wasn't the time for yelling.

Quinn heard the disappointment in the mother's voice and instantly shook her head at herself. "I'm sorry. I'm...I'm really sorry."

Shelby shook her head again as she looked back at the blonde. "Quinn...I thought we had a conversation. I thought you agreed to come talk to me when you knew you were going to have sex again. Do you remember telling me that? Promising me that?"

Quinn wiped at the tears that were on her cheek again as she nodded her head ever so slightly. "It just…it just happened one day." Her voice cracked. "I…I didn't plan on it."

Shelby felt her face fall. She immediately sat up straighter in her chair as she tried to read Quinn's eyes. When the blonde continued to avoid her gaze it only made Shelby's heart beat quicker. She licked her upper lip, hating that she was about to have to ask this question and dreading the answer. "Did he…?" She trailed off, unable to bring herself to ask.

Quinn looked up at the mother's unfinished question. As soon as she saw Mama Lopez's reluctant worried face she felt her own face fall. Mama Lopez didn't need to say the words aloud in order for Quinn to know what was on her mind. She could see it all over her face. Mama Lopez had assumed rape from the last statement Quinn had just breathed. The mother was sitting in front of her visibly freaking out at the thought that another girl in her household was possibly raped.

Quinn quickly snapped into action and shook her head vigorously. She didn't want Mama Lopez thinking that for even another second. It was definitely not what had happened nor was it what she had meant by her last statement.

"No...no nothing like that. I said yes. I didn't mean…" she shook her head, unable to finish the sentence herself. She looked into the woman's eyes to prove that she wasn't lying. "It was spur of the moment, and somehow…it became this…this thing."

"So you were dating?" Shelby let out a sigh of relief.

Quinn instantly bit her lip as tears immediately sprung from her eyes at Mama Lopez's innocent question and typical assumption. By 'becoming a thing' the sixteen year old wasn't referring to being a couple...she was referring to her and Finn starting a regular pattern. But of course the mother would assume otherwise. Only sluts had fuck buddies...and Quinn hid that side of her life from Mama Lopez for so long that the woman had no idea. The blonde was too embarrased to answer the brunette's simple question. She felt more tears rush from her eyes as she sat silently staring into Mama Lopez's questioning eyes.

Seeing Quinn's reaction to the last question she had asked through Shelby for a spin. Quinn had just said that her and this Finn guy 'became a thing'. That meant dating...right? Shelby frowned. Quinn was crying. Clearly she wasn't right...but what did that mean? As Shelby searched the young blonde's tear filled eyes suddenly it clicked. "Oh hunny..."

Quinn watched as something changed in Mama Lopez's eyes. She was able to see the transformation in her eyes as the woman realized what her crying and silence had meant as an answer. Seeing the realization in the mother's eyes caused Quinn's heart to ache. She shook her head as she failed to choked back a sob. The tone in Mama Lopez's voice was hard enough, but the look in her eyes...it was killing Quinn.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Quinn said as she shook her head and looked back down at her knees while another sob escaped her lips.

Shelby immediately got up from her chair and sat down on the couch next to Quinn, pulling the young girl into a hug. As she rested her chin on the sobbing girl's head all Shelby could think about was how the hell she had missed all of this. Quinn was sneaking a boy in through her window...regularly. A boy she had never met before, let alone even seen. Quinn was having sex often with this boy but wasn't dating him. Shelby closed her eyes as she rocked the blonde gently. When did things get back like this? It was only half a year ago when the blonde had promised that her promiscuity was going to stop because of Santana's attack... But now here they were. She was rocking Quinn, trying to get her sobs to subside, again. Quinn had a miscarriage. She was sixteen years old and she hid a pregnancy for three months on her own, and now they were sitting in Ruth's office crying about the loss of a fetus that Shelby didn't even know existed until it was too late.

Shelby shook her head in order to get herself to focus back on Quinn. The blonde's sobs had slowed again, giving Shelby the chance to continue this hard conversation. She planted a kiss on the top of Quinn's head. "Do you need me to...if you have Finn's phone number I can call him and explain what happened or-"

Quinn immediately pulled herself from the mother's grasp. "No. no... I don't want...He doesn't have to know." She said almost too quickly.

Shelby frowned as she tried to figure out what Quinn was really trying to say. She let out a small sigh as she put two and two together. "You didn't tell him either?"

Quinn looked into Mama Lopez's eyes and found herself shaking her head 'no'. She started tearing up again. She couldn't bring herself to tell Mama Lopez the truth. She couldn't say that she had gone to tell Finn. She couldn't bring herself to repeat the words he had spoken to her that night. She didn't have it in her to explain that Finn wanted nothing to do with her since she spoke the horrible words aloud on his porch. It hurt too much and was too embarrassing. She was only good enough for Finn behind closed doors, nothing more. She couldn't say that to the woman who gave her everything. By saying that...Mama Lopez would know how little Quinn thought of herself... and Quinn didn't want the woman to know that. The mother worked so hard to make everything wonderful for Quinn, and she succeeded...but it wasn't Mama Lopez's lack of effort or love that was the problem. It was Quinn. She was her own problem, and she used Finn to let him prove it to herself. So lying was her easiest option. It was easier for her to let Mama Lopez think that she didn't tell Finn, than to explain to her that Finn had told her to fuck off and never come near him again.

A light tap on the door caused both Quinn and Shelby to direct their attention towards it. Ruth stuck her head in, giving Quinn a gentle smile before she looked over at Shelby. While Quinn was thankful for the distraction, she couldn't help but feel angered at herself for it. Ruth interrupting, gave her the chance to realize that she had infact, once again, lied to Mama Lopez. She used to be the type of person who wouldn't lie...and now, the past few months it seemed to be one of the only things she was good at.

"Can I speak to you really quickly Shel?" Ruth's voice interrupted Quinn's thoughts.

Shelby looked from her best friend back to Quinn and raised her eyebrows at the young girl. She was silently asking her if it was okay to step outside. She needed to know that Quinn was okay to be alone for a minute or two. When she realized that Quinn was sucked into her own world, the mother gave a small sigh. She looked back at her best friend and responded with a small nod. She watched as Ruth nodded in return and then disappeared from the cracked door back into the hallway. Shelby refocused her attention back towards the young blonde, and despite her glazed over eyes, Shelby planted a soft kiss on Quinn's forehead.

"I'll be right back," she spoke softly to the sixteen year old. She wasn't surprised when Quinn didn't answer back. She had expected it. The look in Quinn's eyes told Shelby that the young girl was lost in her own train of thought. Shelby tucked a piece of Quinn's loose hair behind her ear. "I love you," she said firmly before turning towards the slightly ajar door and exiting the small office.

...

Shelby closed the door gently behind her as she looked at her best friend with raised eyebrows. Ruth looked at the window to her office where she knew Quinn was sitting behind, she was glad that she remembered to pull the blinds closed earlier this morning. It gave Quinn the privacy she desperately needed in this ordeal. Shelby followed her friend's gaze and then crossed her arms over her chest with a small sigh. "Ruth?"

Ruth snapped her focus back on her best friend as she remembered why she had called Shelby out of the office away from Quinn to begin with. "I talked to Megan and Eric," she nodded her head towards the direction their other doctors were working in. "They know not to disturb you about work related things today. I told them that you will be here, but that you aren't really here."

"Thanks..."

Ruth shrugged her shoulders. "I don't want anyone disturbing you. I made sure they understood that my office is out of service for the day." Ruth nodded her head at the closed door that was behind Shelby.

Shelby nodded her head. "I really appreciate it Ruth, I don't know what I would do without you."

"You'll never have to find out. Best friends for life..." Ruth trailed off. "God, I sound like I am a middle school girl right now."

Shelby let out a short laugh at her best friend. "You're a mess."

Ruth nodded her head. "Yea well..." She looked at Shelby seriously again. "I'm gonna leave now to go check on San-"

As if on cue a young voice cut Ruth off. "Mom!" It was being yelled across the lobby.

Shelby looked around her best friend with a frown at the call. Her eyes widened when she saw that the voice was in fact Santana's. "Santana?"

"Mom!" Santana said as she started across the lobby.

Shelby quickly gave Ruth a look before looking over her shoulder at the closed off office that Quinn was resting in. Ruth reached out and patted Shelby's shoulder reassuringly, urging the woman to focus. "I'll sit with Quinn."

Shelby quickly nodded her head and then looked over her shoulder as Ruth walked around her and entered her office again to sit with the young blonde. Shelby changed her focus back to Santana before she forced her legs to move quickly in order to meet Santana away from Ruth's office door. She didn't need Santana to hear or see anything just yet. She hadn't gotten the opportunity to discuss with Quinn whether she wanted Santana to know, so she didn't want to risk Santana being within earshot if Quinn started to cry again.

She met Santana halfway through the practice's lobby. "Hey sweetie, what are you doing here?" Shelby asked hurriedly. She was getting nervous, this wasn't how she had expected her day to go to begin with but now with Santana showing up unannounced it was adding another wrench to her already complicated and emotional day.

The mother frowned with she took in Santana's appearance. The seventeen year old was breathing heavily and panting. Her usually impeccable posture was hunched over as she lazily rested her hands on her hips. "Are you out of breath?"

Santana nodded her head. "Yea..." She attempted to take another deep breath. "I just ran up the stairs to get here..." Santana breathed out a long sigh as she placed a hand over her heart. Four flights of stairs shouldn't have been this tiring, she scolded herself. "The elevator was taking too long."

Shelby took a step closer to her daughter. "Is everything okay?"

Santana stood up taller as she sucked in a few more deep breaths to slow her breathing. "I got home from practice and Quinn wasn't there. She wouldn't answer her phone either." The brunette shook her head. "I went by her job and she wasn't there...and then I had a feeling so I came here. Her car is out front. Is she okay?"

She rushed her response as quickly as she could, she was so incredibly nervous for her best friend. She couldn't get the look on Quinn's face out of her head as she left practice in such a hurry. Something was wrong and now finding her car here at her mom's practice? It was making Santana incredibly nervous and anxious.

Shelby tried to think about what she wanted to say to her daughter. She licked her upper lip and chose her words carefully. "She is here, she wasn't feeling well. –"

"Quinn is pregnant!" Before her mother could continue, Santana had blurted it out. It was like word vomit.

Shelby had to take a step back from Santana. The news hit her like a brick. She had only just found out about this news, but hearing it come from her daughter's mouth felt so surreal. Santana had known? "You knew?" she asked Santana just above a whisper.

Santana's jaw dropped. She was expecting a completely different response from her mother with this news. She looked at her mother's face and took in her expression. The teenager let her mother's response soak in... suddenly her mom's lack of immediate questions and tears made complete sense. "She told you?" Santana asked back with surprise.

Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. How had she missed this? How did Santana know when she didn't even know? She closed her eyes tightly, wanting nothing more than to kick herself in the shin. Of course Santana knew. Quinn and her shared everything with each other. Was it really a surprise that her daughter had known? Shelby shook her head as she suddenly felt even more shitty knowing that she was the adult in the situation, a doctor nonetheless, and wasn't able to see any of the signs. She should have known about this.

Her mother's silence had gone on for a couple seconds, four or five at most, but they felt like a lifetime to the seventeen year old. "Mom?" Santana tried again, watching as her mother's eyes snapped open and focused on her. "She told you?" She asked again.

Shelby lowered her hand from the bridge of her nose and sighed as she looked her daughter in the face. She didn't know how to answer this... too many things were being sprung on her today. This was just not what she would have ever thought to have happened. Quinn technically wasn't even the one to tell her, Ruth had come into the office and been the one to bring the news. "Not exactly…" Shelby said to herself quietly.

Her mother's quietly murmured response was quiet, but not quiet enough for her not to overhear. Santana instantly frowned. What? "What do you mean?" If Quinn didn't tell her then...how the hell...? Santana looked up at her mother with furrowed brows and wide eyes, waiting not so patiently for her mom to speak.

Shelby looked at her daughter who was looking up at her with wide eyes. She took a step closer to Santana and placed both of her hands on the young brunette's shoulders as she looked directly into the teenagers eyes. The mother knew that she had to tell her daughter the truth. She was originally planning on asking Quinn what she preferred first, but things had just changed with the new knowledge that Santana had already known about the pregnancy to begin with. Shelby sighed heavily again, hating that she was going to have to say this. Hating that this was happening. "Quinn had a miscarriage, San."

Santana yanked herself from her mother's arms. "What?"

Shelby looked straight into her daughter's eyes. "She lost the baby."

"No. That's not...no she didn't." She shook her head as she begged her mom with her eyes silently.

Shelby gently nodded her head. "She did, sweetie. She is in Ruth's office right now. She...she came straight here after leaving camp early because it was happening."

Santana frowned as she dropped her head. She felt tears hit her eyes instantly. She felt like absolute shit for not telling an adult. She picked the wrong decision and now because of that, Quinn had lost the baby.

"I was..." Santana's voice was scratchy as she began to speak. Her eyes were still trained to the tile floor. "I was trying to be a good friend...I was trying to get Quinn to tell you...or Woowoo...but...she wouldn't...I was trying to respect her wishes...I was trying to be a good friend..." Her breathing was slowly becoming more sharp and rapid as she processed the information. She suddenly looked up at her mother with eyes filled with tears. "Oh god...I did the wrong thing. I...Mom...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Shelby sighed sadly as she reached out and brought her daughter into a hug. Santana had a habit of blaming herself for things that were beyond her control, so the woman wasn't shocked that this instance wasn't any different. She kissed the top of Santana's head as the younger brunette cried silently into her shirt.

Shelby brought her daughter away from the hug so she could look her directly in the eyes. She searched Santana's eyes silently for a few seconds and used her thumb to wipe a few stray tears from the teenager's face before speaking. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"She...she didn't…she didn't want me to." Santana lowered her head again at how pathetic it all sounded. She hadn't wanted Quinn to tell her mother when she had been raped, but Quinn knew that deep down it was the right thing to do, so she did. The brunette was kicking herself in this moment for not following Quinn's example. She hadn't acted like a best friend...her lack of response ended up putting Quinn in pain.

Shelby grabbed her daughter's hand and led her to an empty corner of the practice so that they weren't standing in the middle of the lobby any longer. She guided her daughter onto a couch before sitting down next to her herself. Shelby licked her lips. "Baby, this is… this was too big for your girls to think you could handle on your own."

"I know." Santana said quickly as she began to tear up uncontrollably. "I told her that she should tell you…or Ruth even… but… I just found out last week. She didn't even tell me...I figured it out on my own." Santana ran her hands over her face. "Stupid tampons..." She murmured to herself as she remembered how she had connected all of the dots herself. She gave a heavy sigh as she brought her hands back to her lap before looking back at her mother. Her chin began to quiver as more tears started to fall. "Did this happen because neither of us said anything? Could….could it have been….could it have been prevented if I told you? If she had seen a doctor?"

"Santana…" Shelby started sadly. She hated all of this. "Honey, you can't blame yourself. I wish that you girls would have told me… I really…. I wish that I knew, but there is no point in thinking about things like that. It won't change the outcome."

Santana bit her lip. "But, what caused it?"

Shelby grabbed her daughter's hand and gave it a small squeeze. "We won't know." She said honestly. "It could have been so many things, sweetie. It was just one of those things that happen sometimes, but why? We won't ever know."

Santana couldn't respond. Her guilt began to consume her as tears rushed down her cheeks. She was only trying to be a good friend, and in the end she was anything but. She let down her best friend...her person. How was she ever supposed to forgive herself for that? The young brunette finally gave into her sobs as she turned into her mother's chest. She felt her mother's supportive, protective arms wrap around her as she cried into her shirt. The soothing circles her mother was rubbing into her back and the soft words of sweet nothings only brought more tears to the teenagers eyes.

Shelby held her daughter tightly, allowing her to cry. Her daughter hunched over into her embrace brought her own tears to her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She was the adult. She was the mother, and while she had clearly fucked up the past couple of months...she wasn't going to mess up anymore. There would be no tears right now, it wasn't her time. As she sat and held her crying daughter she couldn't help but let her mind wander. How was it that she had one kid who thought she could harbor such a big secret and another who was now recovering from a miscarriage at sixteen? How was it that two of the three of her girls had both been through traumatizing experiences while they were sixteen? It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. Why them? Why her family? What the hell were they all supposed to do now?

...

**AN: Thank you all for your patients with my update. I know it has been obnoxiously too long since the last post. One of my professors decided he wanted to assign a 15 page research paper requiring 5 additional scholarly journals as references in addition to his 10 scholarly journals that he had posted. It has been non-stop reading about juvenile psychopathy. Not so fun. Interesting...but nooooot fun.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I know it was a bit repetitive with Quinn in the office, but keep in mind that she is embarrassed and now lost and devastated. She is stuck in a rut, and is now being forced to discuss her big secret with the two women she respects the most. Also, I have not forgotten about Mike and Santana, I am so pleased that so many of you like them together...I find it too funny because before I started writing this I had never thought of them as being cute together. I simply picked him as a character because I wanted someone who was quiet and kind hearted. My point is: I have not forgotten about him. Keep in mind these past few chapters have all been happening within the time span of the same day. **

**Anywho! Let me know what you thought! I love all the feedback! Happy spring!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I am SOOO sorry that this chapter has taken SO long to get completed. I am graduating college this coming Saturday and for some reason this last semester has been the hardest one yet, especially nearing it's end. However, with it finally coming to an end I will hopefully have more time to write! Fingers crossed!**

**As always thank you everyone for your generous feedback. All the reviews and PMs never cease to amaze me. I love them all! Keep them coming! Now I will shut up so you can read this chapter you all have been so patiently waiting for! Thanks!**

**Chapter 13**

Shelby sat a few more minutes in silence as her daughter attempted to pull herself together next to her on the chair. She glanced at Santana who was wiping her face in attempt to make herself look as if she wasn't crying a mere few minutes ago. She had so many questions in her head right now. She had gotten one or two answers here and there between the information she had learned from Ruth when she originally came into her office to notify her what was happening, and then from her brief conversation with Quinn but the amount of questions that still remained in her head were weighing heavily on her shoulders. She needed answers. She is the legal guardian, the mother figure of this beautiful girl whom she loved with all of her heart...and yet she had no clue what was going on with her the past few _months_. Now that the cat was out of the bag, so to speak, she needed to get to the bottom of all of her questions.

Shelby caught Santana's eyes. "Who is Finn Hudson?" She started with the most basic question she could get. It was the last thing her and Quinn had talked about before Santana arrived, interrupting the conversation.

"What?" Santana frowned at her mother. How did she know about Finn? Did Quinn tell her mom that her was the baby's father? Surely Quinn couldn't have told her mother everything that Santana knew that she knew. Quinn didn't want to admit to herself how awful of a human being Finn Hudson was, so why would she admit it to Shelby? Santana thought carefully of how she was going to answer whatever question her mother asked next. She immediately shook her head at herself, forcing herself to stop. She knew exactly how she was going to answer her mother's questions: truthfully. Her lying got Quinn into this awful mess...she sure as hell wasn't going to hide anything else. Not anymore. Not when hiding the secrets have proven to be more detrimental to her person rather than beneficial.

"Quinn said that Finn Hudson was the father."

Santana had to keep her eyes from bulging. "She told you that?" She was honestly surprised that Quinn had even admitted to that much. She looked at the hallway which led to the offices which she knew was the direction Quinn was in. She wanted so desperately to see her best friend, but at the same time she couldn't make herself get up off of the chair she was in because she had no idea what to say to her. Her mother's voice broke her train of thoughts.

"Yes," Shelby answered with a nod of her head. "Who is he?"

"He..." Santana refocused on her mother. "He is one of Puck's best friends."

Shelby rolled her eyes at the thought of her daughter's immature ridiculous ex-boyfriend. She had to roll her eyes a second time as she thought about how it was one of his best friend's that got Quinn into this mess. Of course. "Lovely," she said sarcastically. In this moment, now more than ever, she wanted that idiot Noah, or 'Puck' as he called himself, and any or all of his imbecile friends to stay as far away from her family as possible. They have proven to be nothing more than immense trouble for her girls and she wasn't going to have it anymore.

"He's on the football team," Santana continued. "He is a senior and he is an asshole. He didn't want it... he...he told her that he didn't want to talk to or see her again after she told him about...about the p-pregnancy..." Santana trailed off after she forced the last word out.

Shelby immediately frowned. "She told him?"

Santana nodded her head. "I'd like to go punch that bastard into next year right about now. It has been so fucking hard not driving over to his house to let him have it this last week after finding out..."

Shelby ignored her daughter's inappropriate and violent language. Her mind was too caught up in the fact that just before Ruth pulled her from Quinn, the young blonde had said that she hadn't told this, Finn Hudson, about the baby. Why would she lie?

Shelby looked at her daughter. "When did she tell him?"

The younger brunette shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know the exact date or week even. "Right after she found out..."

"And he said he didn't want to talk to her or see her after he received the news?" Shelby repeated what her daughter had said previously. She pinched the bridge of her nose to keep her emotions in check.

Santana rested her hand on her mother's lap. "Finn is a bad seed, Ma. He didn't ever talk to her or acknowledge her at school or in front of other people even before any of this...happened."

Shelby brought her hand down from her face and looked at Santana with a frown. "Why?"

"He's an asshole who sleeps around and gets girls to do what he wants for him." Satana said bluntly. "I tried getting Quinn to understand that, but she liked him too much to see it for herself. He only would give her the time of day...at night when no one was around when he would convince her to...you know." Santana immediately felt awkward in front of her mom once she realized where the conversation was going. She was basically telling her mother about Quinn's fuck buddy...without using such few words.

"So... They've been...together...for a while now then?"

"Only he wouldn't call her his girlfriend. He wouldn't even look at her at school or during practice. It was secretive. It was...it was just...sex. He..." Santana shook her head. "You really need to talk to her Ma. Please talk to her about Finn...there is so much to say but, I don't think you need to hear it from me."

...

Shelby entered Ruth's office quietly to find her best friend and Quinn sitting on the couch silently. Each of them staring at something: Quinn at the floor, Ruth at Quinn. It wasn't until shelby cleared her throat that either of them even realized that she had reentered the room. She met Ruth's frown with a simple movement of her head. She silently told the other doctor that Santana was sitting outside in the lobby still and that she wanted a few minutes alone with Quinn.

Ruth nodded her head gently before standing up and smoothing out her pencil skirt. She bent down and planted a small kiss on the top of Quinn's head before walking towards Shelby and the door. "Want me to sit with her?" She asked the mother quietly.

Shelby nodded her head and then watched as Ruth exited the office pulling the door shut behind her one more time. The mother turned again to face Quinn who was looking up at her with puffy eyes.

"Who is here?" Quinn asked shakily.

Shelby walked to sit in the chair directly in front of Quinn again. "Santana," she said simply.

Quinn felt her entire body drop heavily at the mention of her person's name. "She...she..." she shook her head before meeting Mama Lopez's eyes. "Does she know?"

All the mother could do was nod her head slowly.

Quinn felt more tears well in her eyes, yet again. "She's going to be so mad...at me...but also at herself..." The blonde shook her head at herself as she looked down at her lap in shame. She knew that Santana was going to feel guilty about this. Her best friend had been trying to convince her to get help for the past week rather than simply telling Mama Lopez herself... and if she knew her person like she knew she did, then Santana was sitting in the next room doing nothing but blaming herself for what had happened. That thought killed Quinn, because it wasn't her fault. It wasn't anyone's fault but her own.

Shelby sat up taller and directed the conversation she intended it to go in. "The secrets and lies need to stop. Right now, we are going to put everything out on the table and discuss everything. The secrets need to stop." she repeated again.

Quinn frowned and looked up to meet Mama Lopez's eyes once more. "I...I told you everything..."

"Tell me about Finn Hudson." Shelby said strongly.

"I... I don't know what else there is to say..." Quinn trailed off.

Shelby sighed as she reached out and grabbed the young blonde's hand. "Quinn, there is a lot more to say. We aren't even near done talking about any of this, sweetie. Now tell me about Finn."

Mama Lopez's voice was to the point yet soft and full of love at the same time. It literally took the words from Quinn's mouth and mind. She had no idea what to say. "I..." she started but then trailed off as she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

Shelby saw how hard this was on Quinn, but she needed to get her to start talking. Keeping all of this inside is not the way she was going to start handling this situation. She needed to know everything. "Lets start with this: did you tell Finn about this or not?"

Quinn felt her mouth go dry. "I..." she trailed off. She immediately changed her focus to the closed door, looking in the direction that she knew Santana was still in even though she hadn't seen her. Mama Lopez's tone let her know that Santana must have said something that gave away the fact that Finn knew about the pregnancy. She looked back at the woman with a sigh. There was no point in lying...she was too tired to even try. "Yes..."

Shelby nodded her head. She was glad that Quinn hadn't lied to her again. "Why did you just tell me a few minutes ago that you didn't tell him?"

"Because..." Quinn immediately trailed off. She knew why she hadn't said anything but saying it outloud just made it even more pathetic. The blonde sighed as she chewed her lip and looked away from the mother figure sitting in front of her. "I'm embarrassed. I...this whole thing is embarrassing...I'm embarrassing." She quickly shook her head before looking back into Mama Lopez's eyes. "I...I never meant to let you down, or lie to you. I'm sorry."

Shelby searched Quinn's eyes and could see the sincerity plain as day written all over the girl's face. She knew that Quinn didn't mean for any of this to happen, obviously but this was so much more than that. "It's ok to be sorry Quinn, but now you need to be honest with me 100%. You aren't letting me down, Quinn I am worried about you. But I also need you to be worried about you too. Keeping this a secret was not healthy. Not in the least."

"I know that. I know that now." Quinn said quickly as she looked away again, fighting every urge in her being to keep her hands from protectively crossing in front of her now empty uterus.

"No sweetie you don't." Shelby said bluntly. "You could have been seriously hurt. There are so many things that change with your body when..." Shelby's voice faltered with a pause as her words caught her off guard. She quickly cleared her throat and forced herself to continue. "When you are pregnant. Medically it is so very important to see a doctor, not just for the sake of...the pregnancy but for the sake of the mother's health."

Hearing Mama Lopez refer to her as a mother made her want to run from the room. She immediately put up a wall as she sank into herself. "Well...I lived and now...now I have to live with myself and my choices for the rest of my life...knowing that I'm responsible for killing my-"

"No, Quinn." Shelby cut Quinn off before she could go any further. "No no no. That isn't true, like I said...miscarriages are beyond our control, even for doctors most of the time."

"I know you said that..."

Shelby cut Quinn off again. "I'm not just saying that Quinn-"

Before Mama Lopez could continue Quinn cut her off. "Even so...I'm not...I can't accept that. Not yet at least...not anytime soon..." She trailed off as she felt her eyes well with more tears.

Shelby let the girl have a minute of silence. She understood what Quinn was saying, she knew that there were things in life that happened that took time to understand. She absolutely hated that now both Santana and Quinn had experienced these things in different forms, but now wasn't the time to dwell on that. Right now she was able to get some answers from Quinn and she was going to have to keep pushing in order to get a few more.

"When did you find out?" Shelby asked gently, nervous to know the straightforward answer.

Quinn wiped the loose tears from her face. "I...it was a...awhile ago..." Her voice was so quiet she wasn't completely sure that Mama Lopez was even able to hear her.

"Quinn... how long ago?" Shelby's voice came out as a warning. She couldn't have Quinn closing up now.

"I don't know the exact date...I just... it was a Sunday. Before Sunday dinner..."

"Okay..." Shelby knew that Quinn was slowly going to get to the point; however, the girl just needed a few seconds to collect herself and another push from her.

Quinn took a deep breath, looked Mama Lopez directly in her eyes and answered. "Like a little over two months ago."

"Two months." Shelby repeated the words to herself aloud. She knew that Ruth had said something about that time frame but hearing it straight from Quinn was different. It made it absolute. She nodded her head. It felt like her stomach was doing flips. How did she not see Quinn's peculiar behavior for two whole months and how the hell did she not tie it to this huge thing?

She continued to look into Quinn's eyes and forced herself to focus. "Okay," she said with a nod of her head again. "What happened after?"

"What happened after what?"

"Start from the beginning."

Quinn took her hands and ran them through her ponytail absent mindedly as her mind traveled back to that awful night. The night where everything was confirmed and everything changed. "I...I bought a t-test... three of them actually. I...they were positive." Her voice faltered and stuttered but she pressed on. "I lied and asked you if I could go work on my science project...but really I went...I went to Finn's house. And after that was when I decided..." She trailed off as she realized the words she was about to say aloud. She shook her head at herself. "It sounds stupid...really stupid..." She met Mama Lopez's eyes again before continuing, "but I decided that I wasn't going to deal with it. I tried to just forget..." Quinn's tears were now streaming down her face as she felt a hatred for herself run through her veins. She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid for so long. She couldn't believe that she lost the...baby...because of her inactions...

Shelby nodded her head slowly. She saw that Quinn was on the verge of another break down, but she had to keep this conversation going. There was no getting out of it, it was a necessity. "What did Finn say?"

Quinn looked deeply into Mama Lopez's eyes and immediately felt more tears stream down her face. This was what she didn't want to say. This was why she lied and said that she hadn't told him in the first place. She noticed that Mama Lopez wasn't breaking the gaze and was determined to get more of the answers to all the lies she had been feeding her over the past few months. Quinn finally sighed and without breaking eye contact she gave in. "He said that he...didn't want to be a father. He also said that...he said...he didn't believe in abortions." Quinn tried her best to suppress a sob but when it sounded through the room she hung her head. "He said to count him out, and then that was it. He...shut the door in my face."

Shelby suddenly felt like she wanted to hunt down this Finn kid and give him a solid punch to his groin. She was typically against violence in general which included corporal punishment, but in this instance she felt like she would definitely have made the exception. This awful disgusting teenage boy got her Quinn into this mess and then closed the damn door in her face? Hell no.

"Mama Lopez?" Quinn's soft voice brought Shelby from her thoughts.

Shelby looked at the blonde's quivering chin. She reached out and cupped it in her hand. "Thank you for telling me the truth, I know that must have been hard Quinnie."

Quinn nodded her head into Mama Lopez's hand as she let out a breath of relief. Although it hurt to tell all of these things to Mama Lopez...having the woman comfort her immediately after each confession helped her feel better and better.

"Did you ever go to see a doctor? Any doctor?"

Mama Lopez's sudden question made Quinn sink back further into herself again. She felt like she was on a rollercoaster ride. One second she felt like she was beginning to climb out of feeling absolutely horrible to the level of feeling simply bad...but then the next second passed and suddenly she felt as if she was plummeting down into a barrel filled with shame and disgust of herself.

"Quinn?" Shelby asked when the blonde remained quiet.

All Quinn could do was shake her head.

Shelby sighed and slowly nodded her head at herself. That was what she had figured, given everything else Quinn had just said, but she wanted to make sure. Suddenly she remembered something. She perked her head back up and met the blonde's eyes directly. "So you avoided the urine test at the doctors office last week on purpose? It wasn't because you didn't have to go?"

"Y-Yes...I...I knew they would run a pregnancy test and...and I knew that she would tell you-"

Shelby cut the sixteen year old off. "Didn't you think I had a right to know?"

Quinn sank into herself. It wasn't that she didn't think that Mama Lopez had a right to know...it was... Quinn shook her head. "I-I didn't know what I was going to do."

Shelby frowned at Quinn's answer and then a thought suddenly came to her mind. One that felt like someone had just stabbed her. She grabbed Quinn's hand in her own and lowered her head in order to catch Quinn's eyes. She took a deep breath, not really wanting to know the answer to this question but knowing that she needed to ask it nonetheless. "Were you planning on...aborting?"

Quinn's eyes grew wide. "What?"

"Was one of the reasons you didn't want to tell me was because you didn't think you would go through with the pregnancy, Quinn? Would you have gotten an abortion...without telling me?" Shelby was a doctor, she was pro-choice, and if Quinn had come to her with this situation and had made up her mind about wanting to have an abortion then Shelby would have supported her; however, the thought of Quinn sneaking behind her back to have such a serious procedure made Shelby want to collapse into a puddle on the floor.

"No!" Quinn said strongly, pulling Shelby from her train of thought. "No..." This time Quinn's voice was more unsure. "Maybe...?" The blonde shook her head. "No. I don't know." She was getting frustrated with herself and her inability to answer a question. The truth was she had no idea. No idea at all what her plans were because she didn't have any plans. "I wasn't planning on...I...I...god. I was just sleeping with Finn because he made me feel how I feel about my self! None of this was supposed to happen!" The words flew out like verbal vomit.

Shelby frowned and then watched as Quinn's face immediately was covered in regret as the words seemed to be splattered on the walls of the office for everyone to see. Shelby felt her heart sink. "How you feel about yourself?" she repeated in a question.

Quinn bowed her head. Shit.

...

Ruth looked over at her goddaughter. Since sitting next to her, since Shelby returned to the office to talk with Quinn, nothing had been said. Not a single word had left Santana's mouth. As Ruth studied her goddaughter's face and body language she could see that the reason behind her silence was because she was screaming at herself in her head. Santana's disappointment and anger in herself was clearly written all over her young face.

Ruth finally cleared her throat. "I'm not going to tell you that you should have told an adult about this as soon as you found out, because I know that you know that now. I know that your mom has already told you, and I can see by your body language that you wish you had told either me or your mom so me telling you that is of no use, right?"

Santana didn't even bother looking over at her godmother. "Pretty much," she said with a shrug.

Ruth nodded her head. She had figured correctly. She knew her god daughter too well. She rested her hand on Santana's leg and continued. "But what I am going to tell you, what I want to tell you..." she shook her head and corrected herself as she leaned over to catch Santana's eyes. "What I need you to hear... is that this isn't your fault."

Santana instantly brushed Ruth's hand off of her leg as she crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "I'm so sick of this."

"Of what?"

"Of all of this!" Santana threw her arms up as her voice echoed in the small lobby of the practice. She turned her head sharply to meet her godmother's gaze as she lowered her voice. "Me being attacked 'wasn't my fault', him..." Santana trailed off as she shook her head, remembering that her therapist had been urging her to use his name when refering to him at all times. "Guillermo Chavez," she corrected herself, "stalking the house 'wasn't my fault', Guillermo Chavez back handing and nearly raping my baby sister 'wasn't my fault' and now this? This isn't my fault? I am tired of it all!" Her voice was getting loud again. "My actions or inactions don't determine ANYTHING in my life! I need something to be my fault god damn it! I need SOMETHING to be done that was a result of something I did! If nothing is my fault then what the fuck am I even doing?!"

"San..." Ruth attempted to calm the young girl down but was abruptly cut off.

"No! Ruth! I mean...what the fuck?" She didn't care that she was screaming curse words at the moment. Nor did she care that the random two people waiting in her mother and godmother's practice's waiting room were gawking at her. She felt like her blood was boiling. "Am I just...being controlled by a puppeteer? If nothing is my fault...then...whose fault is it?"

Ruth responded in a hushed voice to try to get Santana to do the same. "This isn't about placing blame. Things happen-"

Santana suddenly stood up from the chair she was sitting in as she cut Ruth off again. "AWFUL things! Why are there so many goddamn AWFUL things?!"

Ruth reached out and grabbed Santana's hand as she continued to sit with the girl now standing in front of her. "I ask myself that everyday Santana Maree. But we need to try our best not to focus on them..."

Santana paused and then gave a heavy sigh as she looked at Ruth's closed office door. She knew that Quinn and her mother were sitting behind that door right now, talking or crying about what had happened and all that had been discovered over the past hour. She looked back at her godmother as she sat back down with sagged shoulders. "How is that even possible?" She asked innocently.

Ruth licked her lips as she thought carefully how to answer this question. "It's hard. It is...it's near impossible. Honestly and truly. But Santana..." She looked over at the beautiful girl who was sitting next to her again. "You...you are healthy. You are alive and healthy and in one piece, and so is Rachel and so is Quinn. You have a mother who loves you all more than you'll ever know and who is able to provide you with so many wonderful things. I am always going to love you, all of you. You are my family, forget what our DNA says." Ruth saw that Santana wasn't going to say anything and was still listening so she reached her arm around and pulled Santana into a sideways hug. She sighed and planted a small kiss on the top of Santana's head. "San... things happen that are beyond our control, and while they might make us want to scream, cry, throw up or just run away... we need to remember that the most important thing of it all is that we need to be there for each other."

...

**AN: Sorry the chapter isn't very long, and again sorry that it took so very long to get up. I hope it did not disappoint! Please let me know what you think. **


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